bad words

TealRose - posted on 04/02/2011

Tell Daddy in no uncertain terms to STOP!

Hot sauce damages children's mouths - causes blisters and burning. It can also damage permanently their oesophagus and stomach lining. Both soap [that froths and chokes and kills children every year] and hot sauce are chemical warfare and dangerous and should never be used on a child. The fact you 'only use a drop' is not the point - it's dangerous ... Usually a child will stop using bad words when you stop reacting to it.

Charlie - posted on 08/06/2009

Children are sponges !!!
I unfourtunetly swear a lot and LOVE spongebob EEEK !
My child is 8 months i trying to curve it before its too late and quite frankly have been doing a pretty good job of it.
YAY for me !
I will explain to him that it is an adult word sometimes used to express outrage or anger And is not suitable for a child .
And then i will not make a huge deal out of it , because i think making a huge deal out of something only makes it look more inviting .
I have an 8 year old cousin who walks around with a jar and a black book .

Yes thats right she Black Books you for swearing and then you have to pay a fine to her , No silver coins either only GOLD !!

Mandy - posted on 08/06/2009

I go through this also my hubby swears quite a bit and I just sat my son down and explained to him that those words aren't nice and if you say them to anyone it will hurt them and make them cry, like when he falls down and hurts himself. He understood and didn't say them any more I had to get on to him a few times after that but he was to worried about hurting me to want to say those words again. Now he is 6 and gets on to his dad for saying them. lol.

Ashley - posted on 08/05/2009

We are in the process of teaching our son not to swear, I am a big swearer and it has been hard. I tried cutting the bad word out... saying mother and not adding the bad word but I soon discovered it was too late and my son already knew how to end the sentance! I am in a constant battle with myself to keep my words to myself, but I know I will slip every so often as I am not perfect. We have told him all about bad words and such but at 23 months even though he is pretty smart I think it would be easier to stop saying them. I hope it will work... I may try the naughty jar, since my son is motivated by food lol

Jessica - posted on 08/05/2009

I probably won't say anything everyone else hasn't already said but we've the issude with the F word...he obvioulsy heard from movies/people...so now we just make sure he doesn't hear it. We wait until he is in bed to watch shows/movies with cursing and just don't say it around him. He stopped saying it now thank goodness, because it is extremely embarassing when they do it in public! OMG! We were at wal-mart and he just starting screaming it over and over and all these people were lookin at me! So yes it's not fun. But as long as he knows he will get in trouble (time out, spanking, or just verbally telling him no...whatever your method) and he doesnt'e hear it, he will stop i promise.

Tonya - posted on 08/05/2009

i have the feeling that is going to be something my daugther dose cause daddy is always useing it to so i really am no halp for u sorry

Christy - posted on 08/05/2009

I believe that parents are a child's first teacher. You should lead by example. Your child's father should want to set a good example for his son. He should realize that a son looks up to his father and models to be like him. That should mean something to him and make him to want to better himself. Is your family in church? When we surround ourselves with good people who have good habits we are more influenced to be like them. We are members of a wonderful church. There are people there who are great rolemodels.

Katie - posted on 08/05/2009

I have found with my two year old that if I say don't say that she will just keep saying it, but if I don't draw any attention to it, she forgets about it. I hope you find something that works for you and your child! I

Nicole - posted on 08/05/2009

My 2 year old son will say that word also, but in the right context. We have said that if he says it, he sits in time out for 2 minutes and if mommy or daddy say it, then he can put us in time out also. It has almost completely stopped coming out of his mouth. He enjoys when he gets to put us in time out and I think it shows him that even mommy and daddy can do "naughty" things and it is not just him who is always getting put in time out for something. Hope this helps!

Shannon - posted on 08/05/2009

My son learned "Oh Jesus" from my mother. He's almost 3. While my family isn't religious my mother-in-law is and I really don't want my son saying that anyway. We learned that if we told him not to say it he laughed and kept saying it.

So now if he says "Oh Jesus" we just say "Oh brother!" and he's slowly started to stay that instead and it isn't a game.

Then the other day my husband said "Oh Jesus!" and my son said "Daddy! Say oh brother!" He knows he's not supposed to say it but he's going to test those boundaries so we do try not to curse in front of him. But if we do we try not to call attention to it. If he picks up on it then we have to correct it.

When he's older we'll explain curse words. My parents cursed but not frequently, but if we did we were in trouble. Kids get it.

Shannon - posted on 08/05/2009

Ask his father to stop using those words around your son, and let him know that he's been repeating them. Usually they will relize that they are not being a good role model for their child and want to get better. My husband does the same thing around our kids, but when he heard them saying the words with his own ears, he didn't like it. He does his best around them but that's all he heard growing up and it's hard for him to stop. My kids are 5 & 7 years old, and they pretty much know better than to repeat those words. But every once in a while they slip. I would tap them on the mouth when they'd repeat a bad word. Not too hard to where they'd cry, but hard enough to let them know it's not cute and not to say it again.

Erin - posted on 08/05/2009

You can't. If a child that age hears it, they will say it. Simple. He doesn't have the reasoning ability to understand it's a grown-up word that is inappropriate for him to use. So the only way to stop it is to limit his exposure to bad language. I know it's a hard habit to break (I swear far too much myself) but not around children or old people.
A tip to make the transition easier - friends of mine implemented a swear jar when their son was about 15mths old and started saying 'shit'. Every time a swear word was uttered a donation was made to the jar. Needless to say the jar filled up pretty quickly, but it didn't take long of reaching into the wallet for them both to stop swearing around the little boy. He's now 3 and doesn't swear at all :)

Adrienne - posted on 08/05/2009

i think all kids test the naughty word list a time or two. you cant shield them from everything, even if you want too. just tell him thats a no-no word and move on, if they learn its shocking, they find it hilarious and will continue:)

Billie (Jo) - posted on 08/04/2009

I'm sure it wasn't as funny to you, as the story is to me. I hope the old lady wasn't offended in any way. Kids say the things we are thinking. My husband also swears in conversation, not even realizing he's doing it. We don't really censor, nor shelter our children bc they will hear these words, regardless. Instead explain that those words are reserved for grown ups only. And explain the meaning behind them. And it's naughty words for children to use them period. My kids are 6, 4, 2 and 11 months and they know what all the "naughty words" are and use none of them. They even get offended if someone says stupid. I think ppl are overreacting just a bit! When you over react and make a big deal out of something to a child, it makes it all more appealing. Realistically speaking, your son's dad is not going to stop swearing, as every man i've ever met, swears.

Annette - posted on 08/04/2009

in a note to Ashley, I completely agree that it's not ok to curse in front of our kids and better just to get out of the habit completely, but unfortunately we cannot "force" our kids fathers to do the same and I definately would be fighting a losing battle with my son's father, so the best thing I think is to explain that there are "adult" words that aren't nice to say but that some people will say anyway. I dread the day my son's father will start rubbing off on him, but I'll handle it the most civil way I can.

Shelly - posted on 08/04/2009

exactly Melissa, I cuss my kids know better, they will even scold me, i lol and move on. My hubby doesnt cuss much and will give me hell sometimes but he know they dont cuss so he cant be to mad.

Sarah - posted on 08/03/2009

Unfortunately the little stinkers will always mimic what they see so the only way to stop them from doing so is to stop the person they are mimicking.

Amanda - posted on 08/03/2009

I am glad that somebody posted a question about bad words. I have a 3 year old with a speech problem and recently had tubes put in her ears to help with hearing that is helping her speech. The other day she was playing around and out of the blue she said "I'll kick your @$$". When my husband and I heard that we where shocked and asked her to repeat what she said to make sure we had heard her right. We asked her where she heard it from and she pointed out doors and said out there. Please keep in mind I live in complex with quite a few neighbors. So apparently she heard it from outside from one of the tenants (I don't let my children outside by themselves, but we do have our windows open for fresh air and you can alot outside that is going on). We do teach our child about bad and good, but this one is hard to explain to a child that you can't use this word, and I agree it is hard to disipline a child that hears it daily, whether it is a parents or out in general public. So I am open for any suggestions. My luck I would probably get smacked for asking a person not to swear. I know that in the state of Michigan if a person swears around a child or a lady you can be prosecuted for it, that is if the person they swore at or around wanted to be technical and report it.

Jenny - posted on 08/03/2009

We need to watch our own mouths FOR SURE...you wouldn't disrespect your grandmothers or the 60 year old women in the store by throwing out "bad words" so why disrespect our children with them!? We lead by example and as they get older yes they WILL be exsposed to ALL kinds of things that aren't good, but they'll know that you expect more from them and yourselfs! I've even asked other parents to watch their words around my kids as well, as a result my sons have heard words and not even noticed them but they do know they are out there but don't need to be used! Why kill their innocents any early than our society is doing!?

Ashley - posted on 08/03/2009

when i was younger my dad would call my mom a b**** so of course i picked it up. anytime my mom punished me i would call her a b****. the day of my baptismal i had a doll, well i dropped my doll as the church went quite and yelled out i dropped my f****** doll. my dad had a horrible mouth and thats who i was getting it from. my mom tired everything, and the more attention i got from it the more i did it. she just ignored me and i eventually realised i was getting any sort of reaction from anybody so i stopped. my nephew went through a phase of swearing as well and all my sister had to do was threaten him with hot sauce. he only ever said the f word maybe 2-3 times and he eventually stopped because he was afraid of the hot sauce. things work differently for different children. yes of course you should punish them because it's not nice to say but sometimes children want a reaction whether its good or bad and as long as you keep giving them that reaction they'll keep doing it. different things work for different children and you just have to see what type of punishment works for him.

Jenni - posted on 08/03/2009

My son at 2 years old does understand there's things that adults can do things that little kids can't. Like using the stove, driving, walking in the parking lot without holding another adult's hand, etc etc. Give kids some credit they're pretty smart. I've slipped and said some curse words in front of my son, and yes he has eventually used them. The thing that kills me is he uses them appropriately in a sentence. One time he stubbed his toe and said, "son of a bitch, momma I hurted my toe" it was pretty funny and smart actually... Main thing was not to laugh because that would just encourage him to keep saying it. I just said that wasn't a nice word and that only grown ups can say that word. I didn't make a big deal out of it, and he hasn't said it since. Also if he says I said that word or he heard someone else say that word I just say "yeah I know and it was wrong" I think it's okay to let our kids know we're not perfect and everyone makes mistakes and to try to do better.

I think that as with anything else persistence is key.

Lindsay - posted on 08/03/2009

my brother is 20 and thinks its so funny to teach my son to swear...he goes to time out for it and sometimes when he says it he kind of catches himself the hardest part is when other people think its funny and tell him to do it....it drives me crazy they dont realize how bad that comes back on me

Shelly - posted on 08/03/2009

yes, the jars are a great idea. How old is your daughter?

Shelly - posted on 08/03/2009

lol Katy kids will be kids. my daughter would say 'my papa got a big TRuck' but she was 2 and coulndnt really say TRuch but it had an F lol it was funnnny. But thats not the same as a child who cusses.

Cassie - posted on 08/03/2009

Katy, I love the idea of the good and naughty jar. That's an excellent way for them to see how their actions have direct consequences.

Katy - posted on 08/03/2009

Ok I'm sorry but lol that's kinda funny... ok maybe because he's not mine and I dont have to deal with it, it makes me able to laugh about it. I had to just warn my sons kindergarten teacher today that for some reason my sons fav work is suck... like this sucks... well he cant pronounce his s right and it sounds like an f.... see what I'm saying. He doesn't realize what that means, and he's not trying to cuss but he is. I keep telling him that's a not nice word (suck... I didn't even go there with the f word) and to not say it anymore. He's getting better about it, but the only thing I can say is use the naughty jar. I took my daughters change she's been saving and put it in the good jar, when she was bad, I'd take some of her change and put it in the naughty jar. She hated that, and it corrected her bad behavior fast, because it just mean one less piece of candy she could get.... worked for my daughter, havent had to try it with my son just yet, but I think I will be after today :)

Cassie - posted on 08/03/2009

Shelly, I completely agree about spongebob! What a horrid show. I hate their language choices in a show that is intended for young children!



How did this conversation change from one where a mother was asking advice on how to explain and stop her son's cussing to one where overgeneralizations are being made about groups of people as to how cussing (or lack there of) and teen pregnancy are related. It isn't really fair to catagorize groups of people (punk, goth, cheerleader, jock) into one lump sum and rudely discuss their sex lives. That's not what this conversation is about. Just my opinion.



I want to apologize to anyone if any of my posts have offended you. That was in no way my intention. I just wanted to post my ideas of parenting without cussing. Just another way of doing things. We all have our own ways. As long as we are explaining to our children what is right and wrong, we shouldn't need to be mean to one another.

Jackie - posted on 08/03/2009

If he hears it, hes going to say it. Kids repeat just about everything their parents do. Honestly, his daddy needs to watch his mouth. Its hard to change habits but you have to!! There is a warning out to my family and friends about the first time my son uses a bad word... and especially to who he hears it from!! Its part of parenting. You just have to tell them its a grown up word, or whatever you want to call it, and not to say it again. If they do, then there has to be some kind of discipline, timeout or whatever.

Shelly - posted on 08/03/2009

actually i should say TRiED to use it. my girls know not to cuss its not nice and you willl get punished.

Shelly - posted on 08/03/2009

neither, darn it is not exceptible in my house no. shoot hasnt come up, so idk. My girls use "tardersuace" in place of s*** or f*** so no they cant say it, and spongebob is where they learned it so if the shoe fits... but i dont care for him anyway.

Sarah - posted on 08/03/2009

so darn it, oh shoot, etc. etc. is unacceptable as well?? or do you have it out for spongebob?

Shelly - posted on 08/03/2009

um my post didnt show, so again..

I hate when my girls say that, its just their way to cuss it's just as bad. stupid spongbob.

Shelly - posted on 08/03/2009

I hate when my kids say that! Its just their word to cuss its no better. Freakin' spongbob.

Sarah - posted on 08/03/2009

maybe you could get her to say tartarsauce instead.

April - posted on 08/03/2009

just keep telling him that thema re adult words and make sure you tell people to watch their mouth around the child, especailly his own. parents are their child first teacher. They like to repeat alot of things they hear. Its new to them.

I get after people who starts to use words around my children that they shouldnt heard.and if they don't stop, i leave their house without reason.



My daughter who is almost 4 years old would like to say if something goes wrong, she likes to say "oh shit" or "damnit" and I keep getting after her telling her that they are bad words, adult words. and if she repeats again, i put her in a time out so also show her that she's can not say those kind of words.

Casey - posted on 08/02/2009

My husband and i do not swear in front of our daughter but if one of us actually does the other parent says Naughty mummy, or naughty daddy, we don't use that language. If others come to my house and swear no matter who it is i'll say excuse me what was that? and that usually wakes them up to their language. i'm not having my beautiful baby girl walking around with a potty mouth! But i also don't think theres any links between swearing and getting pregnant at 14! (i'm pretty sure that has to do with sex)

Mel - posted on 08/02/2009

I agree with Christina.... I have a 3 year old and my husband use to curse a lot... As your children grow, so do you as parents. How can you not try your hardest to change something that is as bad as this.. It may be cute to you the first time you hear your tot say a bad word, but how selfish is that? ( not saying you think it was or is cute )

I am not perfect with the things I say, I hear him repeat things i say all the time, but that is the point.....

Everyone just needs to take extra care on what they say and make it a priority....

Shelly - posted on 08/02/2009

lol your hight thats a good one, i always say 'cus im bigger then you' lol

Jennifer - posted on 08/02/2009

The big thing is you need to explain he is a CHILD not an adult and take away things he likes for every time he says a bad word.....and IF possible cut down on some around him.....I know its hard I have the same problem BUT my kids KNOW not to cuss.....IF they hear me they say thats a bad word that I can say when Im an adult.....so just explain when they are YOUR height they can cuss until then its a bad word to say.....it worked for mine...

Sarah - posted on 08/02/2009

Cassie, I think you and I would disagree about almost everything, and that is okay. My daughter knows it's not okay to curse in school and she has seen her friends get in trouble for using potty words...I do not encourage them and she doesn't curse. I guess my posting made it sound likes she is an occasional curser when really she has only cursed a few times in her life, which i dont make a big deal about.

Amber - posted on 08/02/2009

I tell my daughter it's a "daddy" word.

Holly - posted on 08/02/2009

My daughter (21 months old) used to do that because she heard her dad use those words too. I would punish her for saying them, and I also punished my hubby when he said them in front of the kids. They got the same punnishment (a light tap on the lips and a firm "we don't say that") and it got the point across to all of them! :)

Cassie - posted on 08/02/2009

I am listening. Don't personally attack me please. And I understand what you're saying. I just strongly feel that there is no reason a child should curse or know curse words. My husband and I have just decided that there will not be cussing in front of our daughter in our home or our families' homes. There is no need. I agree that if they do curse that you shouldn't make a big deal out of it but I just think the world is a bad enough place that they don't need to be exposed to stuff like that at home as well. It is just my family's personal parenting beliefs though. To each their own. I just don't want my daughter "slipping" or "accidentally" saying a bad word as a toddler or young child. What does that say about me?



I am not attacking you in any way! I was just saying that it would be embarrassing to have your child's teacher call and have to explain that your child was punished for cursing. Again, I apologize if I offended you.



The original poster asked "how do i teach him that word is not ok if he constantly hears his dad saying it?" and I am just answering her honestly.

Shelly - posted on 08/02/2009

Cassie your not listening, we are not saying is ok for them its jusst not a big deal and WE teach them right from wrong.

Cassie - posted on 08/02/2009

what happens though when your child goes to school and calls the teacher or another student a b****. Your child will be punished because that is unacceptable language. It is our job as parents to teach our children right from wrong.

Sarah - posted on 08/02/2009

When my daughter was 3 our friend accidently closed the car door in her face and she said, "errr, mom, thomas is such a bitch!" and I thought it was the funniest thing ever. I think curse words are just words, and while I don't let her curse in public or around her friends, and I don't curse often, to me it is not a big deal, and she is a good girl and listens to me, but I think if you don't make it a big deal, a child won't. I think the way a person says something (condescending/malecious) is MUCH worse than letting a 4 letter word slip.

Shelly - posted on 08/02/2009

do as I say not as I do, otherwise Ill be a gma at 32 NO thanks :)

jmo.

Cassie - posted on 08/01/2009

how can you teach your children that cursing is unacceptable if you do it. They are like sponges and want to be just like mommy and daddy. It seems a bit hypocritical to me. Just my opinion though.

Cassie - posted on 08/01/2009

I agree 100% with Ashley!!! Our society is the way it is today because parents aren't raising our children in respectful ways. We all need to be accountable to our kids and take responsibility for how we raise them whether we are young moms or old. How we raise our children and what we do in front of them will guide who they will become, what they will do, and what they will say.

Jenny - posted on 08/01/2009

Exactly! I had a pretty screwed up childhood so all I can do for my children is try to give them the absolute best. It has nothing to do with poor judgement or anything like that. Some people curse some people don't! As long as my children know and understand that cursing is unacceptable to me then I think the better off I am! My daughter is extremely defiant maybe because I did have her at 17 and didn't enforce discipline as soon as I should have, but at least I know that I am doing my best. And thats all anybody can do!