bb

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

[deleted account]

my husband to be went through the same situation, i could come in from work and it could take him 15 mins to recognise i was in the house on it from the moment he woke up to the moment he went to sleep and didnt register my conversations. so i moved out! then he realised what had hit him he came running with tail between his legs begging for forgivemenss i told him it stops now or im not comnig back, with it been his hobby i didnt want to be cruel, he started to take me out for meals and we would watch movies together and anytime i asked to watch tv he would turn it off strait away, so we decided to have a baby and he is an excelent job, you have to take a big drastic move for him to notice what he is missing out on, talking to him wont change him, you have to frighten him hun x be strong and you will get results x

Sarah - posted on 04/03/2010

1,499

10

39

My husband truly is obsessed with video games. We have been together for almost 8 1/2 years & it's an ongoing argument with us. When we were dating, he used to play Halo. Constantly. I remember when a new Halo game would come out, it was like I was non-existent in his world for awhile. He used to get SOOO incredibly mad that he would break controllers & headsets. He would treat me like absolute CRAP if I tried to step in and stop him from playing the video games if he got out of control like that. So, I figured if I wanted to be with him, then I would have to put up with it.



The video game playing started easing up a little bit as the years went on. He wasn't nearly as "violent" when he'd get mad & only broke a headset occasionally. Then we got married & got pregnant with our son. He had a total change of heart about his video game playing. He told me he was inspired to "focus" on different things in life & felt that his video game was really interfering. Ya think? So, he did something I never thought he'd EVER do. He sold his XBOX 360 console! All his friends said that he was crazy for it & one of his friend's said some really AWFUL things about me, saying that I was a basically a nagging bitch wife who needs to be slapped around, because he thought I was MAKING him sell his XBOX. I was pissed.



Anyway, that only lasted a few months & he ended up buying a BRAND NEW XBOX360. Those damn things aren't cheap & we aren't the richest people in the world. And with a new baby on the way, we could have spent that money on the baby. Not on a new console. I told him that if he bought it back, he couldn't be so obsessive since he'd have a new baby. And he promised me things would be different. Well, now our son is 6 months old and he's back to his obsessive ways. He doesn't throw things or break things anymore, which is great. But, he plays ALL THE TIME. And he talks to his friends on XBOX live through a headset & is LOUD and cusses constantly. I have talked to him about it a thousand times. I'm not degrading or demeaning towards him. I'm not threatening in any way. But, there is no way to get through to him. Just tonight I asked him if he could turn off the game, since it was getting late (after midnight) and we had an Easter church service to get to in the morning. Instead of having a little respect for me and the fact that I get up early with our son every morning, he gets mad and tells me to "shut the **** up." I'm about at the end of my rope with it.

Angelina - posted on 03/30/2010

21

28

5

there has to be a way for him to get off the games without you two fighting and making things worse. try leaving for a while having him fend for himself and maybe he will miss you and the baby and stop or maybe not play so much see my boyfriend plays a game on his computer and we have a 5 month old girl at first i thought it was going to be a problem to but after a while he slowed down and spent time with me and the baby. he has his days he plays and those are set days. you might have to take his stuff and hide it then when he gets home be there waiting for him. tell him you need to talk. let him know how you feel and if he loves you he will listen. tell him i don't mind you playing your game but we need to spend time together. lets try to only play the game a few or couple nights a week. if he does not agree then you just might have to go to step 2. leave don't tell him where the game is. let him look for it. that will give him some time to thank about what is most important his game or family. make sure you hide it really good somewhere he would never think to look. if he calls you and says come home im sorry then that would be a good sign. but if he calls you and says where is my game just hang up and keep going. let him find it on his own. you could even stick a note to it that says i can't believe you really do love your game more than your own family that is sad. i'll be waiting when you grow up. if you grow up.

[deleted account]

At some point, when you manage to get his full attention, I would let him know how his negligence makes you feel. Actions speak louder than words. Right now, his actions say that he cares more about his games than you and your daughter. He may not realize how his gaming makes you feel. I pretty much abhor all video games, especially the ones that encourage solitude, and my husband knows it. I won't even allow a gaming system in our house, but he still finds dumb games on the computer to play. Make sure he knows how you feel. Try not to sound accusatory; that will put him right on the defensive.

As for his excuse of not being out doing who knows what, let him know that you know he knows better than that and you expect as much. It shouldn't even be an issue.

Also, I don't recommend just not doing the laundry. If you're going that route, just don't do his laundry. And the house cleanliness may not even phase him. Some guys seem perfectly happy in a pig sty, so why hurt yourself that way.

Tessa - posted on 03/30/2010

155

29

18

If he is ignoring you when you are trying to have a serious conversation with him, I think you are going to have to take some drastic measures. If it was me, I would try turning it off. If he just turns it back on and ignores you again, after he leaves for work I would hide the game console for several days until he is ready to have a serious conversation about his responsibilites in the household and with the family. He may get upset but he needs to face the fact that he has a family now. He is no longer a single guy that can waste away his day playing video games. It is time for him to grow up and face reality.

I wish you al lthe best!

This conversation has been closed to further comments

139 Comments

View replies by

[deleted account]

proudarmywife68 i got adicted in the end aswell add ma hubby bouncinbobbi and ill give ya a game haha take care hun x

Bethany - posted on 04/05/2010

3

41

0

Hunny your words are EXACTLY what my husband and I are going thru now, it got much worse during the pregnancy if I asked him to do anything for me he would simply reply cant you do it yourself?? and just play his game 24/7. Honestly it took me almost filing for seperation and getting him into counseling to get him to see it was a real problem and some time apart. 'We both agreed we wanted to make it work for the baby and thats what really has to happen. My husband and I came to an agreement that he had certain times and days to play his game and I had certain times and days that were our *us* time. Trying to get him to schedual his game time may make him mad at first, it did mine, but once I explained that I felt alone and very unappreciated and that I missed him he started to understand, but that game time you give him must be solely his and uninteruppted otherwise he'll feel his time is violated, this has helped us alot, we still have spats and the game still irritates me but I am no longer Jealous of a game since I have time with him for me a few times a week and I dont feel so burnt out, I hope this helps and I wish you much luck!!

Alisson - posted on 04/05/2010

27

28

2

My husband and I are avid gamers ourselves and we have one child and another on the way. We play WoW and Final Fantasy XI with a set schedule and our respective responsibilities. I do her homework with her when she gets home, he makes supper and puts her in the bath, I put her to bed and in the mornings I make breakfast and lunches, get her ready to go, he drops her off at school and picks her up. After all this is done, we log on gaming and we relax.



There's no denying it, we're highly addicted to gaming. We had a long talk about how it was affecting the family and our relationship, we concluded that, in our lives, we work very hard, we work long hours and gaming is our deflating time. We've set aside time for the kids, time for dates, we have a set schedule of activities we do on the the online games but we never prioritize the gaming activities over our real life.



It's difficult sometimes but learning to live with a gamer takes a lot of patience and understanding. You never recover from being a gaming addict, you're ALWAYS addicted. The only thing I would suggest is that you sit down, set a schedule, be understanding of that schedule, find a couple of games you like to play (like Trivia Pursuit, Scrabble, poker, etc) something that gets you involved with the hobby.



Hiding the games, consoles or even smashing the 800$ equipment because yer pissed he's not helping around the house is childish, he'll resent you and he'll continue to do things wrong. You need to compromise, schedule and stick to it. Hope this helped, we've been together 11 years and counting.

Jodie - posted on 04/05/2010

7

41

1

My husband is a gamer as well. We are currently separated in different houses cuz of his obsession. It got to where he wasn't paying ANY attention to his son or me when he was off work. My son sees his dad maybe 1 time a week if he brings me his child support. The separation was really hard for me at first but until he decides he actually wants to do things with his son away from his piece of junk Xbox 360 then we'll be separated. I'm not puttin my son through the fightin again cuz when he was younger he couldn't repeat what we said. I don't want to raise my son in a broken home so hopefully he'll grow up and realize that his game isn't even close to important as his family is.

Jo Ann - posted on 04/05/2010

1

20

0

My hubby plays world of warcraft. He started about 5 months before he was deployed the third time. When he got home he played it all the time. It started to become a real problem. That was a year ago. It had gotten so bad that he would come home from work and be on it till 2 in the morning and have to get up at 5 to go back to work. I finally got fed up with it. I was working and taking care of our 2 kids. I finally told him that it was easier for him to just be deployed again than to see him here and not have any interaction. I then told him he either needed to cut back or lose us all, that I was tired of being a single parent even when he was home. I think the single parent comment hit him hard. It took a while. The whole time if he was on the game I was doing something with the kids or doing something I enjoyed. I did not clean the house or do any work that would benefit BOTH of us. I kept the house livable but he did notice when he didn't have clean clothes to wear to work. When I made dinner me and the kids would eat and he had to get up and make his own. I would take the kids to the park or out to play and just leave him be. I basically started acting like a single mother. He finally realized that "hey they are moving on without me." and started cutting back his game time. When your husband does this dont overwhelm him with stuff. start off small like movie nights or "housecleaning days" as we call them here. It is finally over a year later that everyday we sit together and have dinner, on saturdays its family day, if I ask him to do something with the kids or something for me it gets done, and he goes to sleep at a decent hour (after his son asked "why daddy gets to stay up even though he has to work early but I have a bedtime and I dont have work?"). It takes time. He still plays alot but realizes family and work are priorities and the game is just that a game.

Cherish - posted on 04/05/2010

6

7

0

Hey Paula, have u tried telling him the time and date when u want to go out and spend some time with him? Maybe u can even use that time that u have with him to go and look for a job together. I know that it makes him seem lazy when u have to do everything with him just to make sure that he does it but it is better than the alternative.

I'm pretty sure he knows that he has to get a job so he can support u and the baby, I'm pretty sure that he loves u but don't forget that this game is obviously important to him too so I wouldn't just treat it like nothing. I would try to play the game with him, he may like that. even if ur not that good at games (I know I'm not but I still play.)

It makes it complicated when u move out and r seperated becuz u can't really resolve the problem being apart. I don't know how ur man is but normally when ur apart someone is going to have to come back and ur probably wondering who that is going to be. Well if u wait for him to do it then it might take forever but if u do it ,then ur always gonna know when u will be together again.

Sasha - posted on 04/05/2010

1

12

0

My goodness, can I ever relate to that!! My husband plays WOW a lot!! If he does get that I am trying to tell him my feelings, then he moves to the PS3 for the Call of Duty. He does not come to bed often when I go to bed. This makes me feel worthless sometimes. When I do get the chance to have me time, he makes a big deal of it. I am the one working and I am starting to get resentful. Whenever I come home, he is playing one of the two games or even on facebook playing games. I just keep telling him how I feel.Most times he does not really hear me. I get the "ok" or "ok whatever" responses. I have told him that maybe he needs to leave and we need to have sometime apart. I was a single mom for 5 years, so I am no stranger. I have an 8 year old, and now an almost 6 month old. I do feel stuck sometimes. But just keep telling him what you want and how u feel....men are not mind readers! If that does not work, then telling him u need some time apart may. Seems to work. Drastic measures are needed sometimes. Hope it gets better!! Good luck, and God bless!

Aberlee - posted on 04/05/2010

12

14

1

Natalie, I feel for you- my husband used to the same thing. After our daughter came he got much worse and the times I would leave her with him to shower or run an errand, I would come back to him playing and her sitting in her bouncer. I was to the point that I was going to just break it or something. He didn't understand the "no us time" either. Luckily for me, his xbox broke a couple months ago and I told him we just can't afford a new one. He still makes comments, but has so much extra time for our daughter and me. My love for him went down the drain and I am trying now to build it. It is hard when it is one sided, he doesn't understand how frustrating those years were. I was to the point of leaving, but decided to stick it out for my daughter. It has gotten better, but some things never change. He will always have to have some form of the obsession- now it is the farming stuff on facebook. I dont like it, but its better than the hours and days locked in a room with an xbox. I am sorry I can't help more- but sometimes you just have to do what is right for you and your child. Unfotunately, they will never change.

Paula - posted on 04/05/2010

1

24

0

So I can totally relate to you...only I am 23 weeks pregnant and I get none of his time. I tried joking about it (evony) and calling it his girlfriend and he didn't get the hint. He is unemployed and has not made an effort to get a job. Needless to say no matter what I tried he still woke up to Evony and I went to bed alone. He would crawl into bed between 2-5 in the morning. If you figure anything out let me know...I left and moved in with my parents. At least they will help me get on my feet before baby arrives.

Cherish - posted on 04/05/2010

6

7

0

Hi, I'm 40wks pregnant and my husband and I r a bit of game freaks too, but I'm not as bad as him since I've been pregnant lately and I don't think I'll be playing that much after the baby's born as well. I was a lil uneasy that he played the game so much... Well it made me CRAZY that he was paying more attention to the game than me! So I talked to him about it and after awhile it turned out to be fine. Since we play together it's given us some family time.



After the baby's born I plan to make a schedule for my family and my husband's game time. If he does'nt listen to me then I plan on bringing reinforcements (my parents), They can help me get his act straight. A father should help take care of the kids even if he's not cleaning the house, he has to take care of his kids! If he doesn't then he really dosen't care about u or the kids!



I don't think it's right to just get divorced becuz of a stupid game! marriage is hard and ur supposed to go thou stupid things like this. He is just immature right now but he'll grow out of it eventually... Just hang in there!

Carol - posted on 04/05/2010

3

15

0

I had a husband like this... he did it from the time I was like 6 mths pregnant until the lil man was like a year old. I wish I'd done something differently so maybe take some drastic measures... I wouldnt take the game away because honestly it's just going to piss him off. maybe he needs a jolt to his family life for him to understand what he's losing by playing the game. Good Luck Girly... Mine kept playing & along the line I DID fall out of love w/ him. Prayin for strength for ya hon!!

Sarah - posted on 04/05/2010

275

32

22

I really disagree with everyone saying to give him the choice of you or the game! My husband would never leave me but i know if i gave him that choice he would choose the game... not because he wanted it only to tick me off more! too many people make their boyfriends or husbands do that kind of stuff which is probably why the divorce rate is so high and why so many women are single parents! if you are in a loving and mature relationship then you would both work it out instead of making threats and bailing before even trying to work it out or try new options! making threats or unplugging the game is childish and immature! it will more than likely only cause more problems than you currently have!

Emily - posted on 04/04/2010

4

13

0

My husband used to be the same way... and kinda leans towards it still at times. One rule we have agreed on is that he can only play games when I am around that can be paused at the drop of a hat, so that I can have him pause to talk to me. When I am work he can play the games that might take a couple minutes before a good pause spot comes. I started getting him off it by giving him allocated "undistrubed time" on his game, and then asking for an equal "undisturbed time" of my own. During my time he had to take care o the kid completly, not talk to me, keep the tv at an ok level, and if I wanted the tv or the xbox, it was mine. Once he saw how annoying it was, then he backed off a little. Keep at it, but realize that this is his hobby, and what he enjoys to do. You don't want to completly take it away, just try to make it work for your family. (If you can find a game you both like, it could really help)

Diane - posted on 04/04/2010

27

5

0

I'm in the same boat for 4 years now! When I met him I knew he had an addiction to video games. The whole time I was pregnant even now that our duaghter is here and is 18 months old. I am pregnant again. He plays from 10p.m till 5 a.m every sigle night since he has an injury from work and is off for a few months. When he was working he would come home from work and play until 2 am and get up for work at 7. It was an everyday thing and still is. He plays nhl and cod. In reality it doesnt bother me so much since I knew this was who he was when I first met him. I rather him be home doing this then out at bars and stuff

Casey - posted on 04/04/2010

3

21

0

My husband is EXACTLY like that. He works over nights and sleeps until 2-3 pm and in any of his free time plays his stupid video games! I have tried the divorce threatening, tried hiding the x-box... It is a really tough situation and I haven't found a solution yet! I can barely trust him home alone with our 2 boys because he will sit in front of the tv and zone out on the game. My 2 year old even associates the video games and "bad guys" with daddy. Sometimes I think that the guy has to be ready to grow up in order for him to stop playing games like that.

Tiffany - posted on 04/04/2010

27

26

5

you SHOULD smash that thing into peices to get it through his thick head...If he doesnt want to listen to you speak or give you the time of day smash it lol... I had the same problem with my man...he only had the chance to do it for a month though then I got fed up....I walked into the room and told him that if he wasnt off the playstation in 2 minutes that I would go in and smash it up into peices and I ment it..he got off of course and only plays it now once a week for 5 minutes :) Good luck!

Jaime - posted on 04/04/2010

214

16

12

It really depends on your man. You have to evaluate what you want out of the relationship, and what you are willing to compromise on. Make a list of the activities that you think he needs to participate in, and how much time you feel like you need alone (or to do things for yourself). Then make him dinner, and sit down at the table and talk about it. My husband playes quite a bit, but he realizes that gaming takes second to family obligations. Also something that worked quite well is to suggest that they don't play online games that cannot be paused... that way they can stop what they are doing if need be (and help you take care of your kids, or other things that may need to be done).

Leaving him with the kids may not work, because mine still finds a way to play the whole time I am gone anyway... but I have "sabotaged" his xbox a few times before I leave so that he gives up and waits for me to come home before he fixes his xbox. (little things like "accidently" unplugging the internet connection, or unplugging the connection to the power supply, or turning on parental controls... LOL, it pisses him off, but he gets the point and for a few days he is really attentive to me and the kids) overall I am lucky to have my husband, and noone is perfect... you just have to help them realize what they are doing is destructive! Good luck girl, I hope it works out for you!

Melissa - posted on 04/04/2010

14

67

1

My husband also works nights and seems to find alot of video game time. this seems to be the most we fight about. but i have asked him to limit his playing to only when the baby is sleeping. it seems to be working. he needs to comprimise. hiding the controlers & changing parental controls will just piss him off and make things worse (it did for me, it wasn't worth it). just talk to him and let him know how you are feeling.

Sunshine - posted on 04/04/2010

279

80

21

i feel like the ONLY way this will ruin your relationship is if you let it.. You should have more control then that.. Yes before I said if he ignores you that much JUST break the shit.. If he wants to play his game I don't see a problem with him playing it.. Hell that can give you, YOU time.. I mean if it got to far then yes I would be mad.. I guess I just don't care cause my husband limits himself on his.. He takes turns with me the ONLY time he plays is when our son is asleep but hardly all the time.. We usually sit here together..

Jaime - posted on 04/04/2010

214

16

12

It really depends on your man. You have to evaluate what you want out of the relationship, and what you are willing to compromise on. Make a list of the activities that you think he needs to participate in, and how much time you feel like you need alone (or to do things for yourself). Then make him dinner, and sit down at the table and talk about it. My husband playes quite a bit, but he realizes that gaming takes second to family obligations. Also something that worked quite well is to suggest that they don't play online games that cannot be paused... that way they can stop what they are doing if need be (and help you take care of your kids, or other things that may need to be done).

Leaving him with the kids may not work, because mine still finds a way to play the whole time I am gone anyway... but I have "sabotaged" his xbox a few times before I leave so that he gives up and waits for me to come home before he fixes his xbox. (little things like "accidently" unplugging the internet connection, or unplugging the connection to the power supply, or turning on parental controls... LOL, it pisses him off, but he gets the point and for a few days he is really attentive to me and the kids) overall I am lucky to have my husband, and noone is perfect... you just have to help them realize what they are doing is destructive! Good luck girl, I hope it works out for you!

Kylie - posted on 04/04/2010

11

38

3

this is a hard one.i wonder if he will notice if the house is clean or not.try it!!!!my partner is the same wit h video games.i end up having a melt down ewvery month about it.are u able to have time away at your parents to get a bit of help.maybe when u have been away a bit he will realise what hes missing.hahaha i agree with tessa try hiding the control and see what he does..keep us posted on your ideas and how hes reacted.we might be able to give a few other suggestions

Tabitha - posted on 04/04/2010

2

3

0

SELFISH! What does he think you are his mom? He is supposed to be a father, and a husband not a room mate! You dont need money to do couple things, even watching a movie together or playing card games is a good way to spend time together...Threaten to sell his beloved game or maybe even accidently break it...get it stolen lol

Jackie - posted on 04/04/2010

30

27

2

MY HUSBAND IS THE SAME WAY. BUT HE IS ALL DAY WITH THE BOYS WHILE I AM AT SCHOOL..[HE IS A WROK AT HOME DAD] SO WHEN THE BOYS ARE SLEEP OR TAKING THEIR NAP I LET HIM TAKE THAT TIME TO HIS SELF..SINCE MY PARENTS TAKE THE BOYS EVERY WEEKEND..LOL..

Lara - posted on 04/04/2010

23

23

2

My hubby is the SAME. It drives me nuts! I found a way under parental controls to track his play time. I used this to show him how much time he really does play (we're talking 25-40 hours a week!!!!!!!) Also, I found info on video/computer game addictions--some even include support groups for addicts and their spouses. He realized that this is a serious problem and has promised to only play after the kids are in bed and i'm at work (I work late) Otherwise, if i'm home and the kids are up=NO GAMES.

Also, I asked him how he would have felt if as a kid his dad was constatnly playing and ignoring him. He has a really great involved dad so this helped too.

Samantha - posted on 04/04/2010

2

7

0

I wanna know how this turns out. My husband and I play Final Fantasy together and it's fun because we can laugh and talk about it, but COD is just... I don't even want him to buy it. He'd never ignore me over it, but it's just so isolating.... I've seen it hurt many a relationship. Let us know how everything turns out? You are very beautiful and I couldn't imagine someone giving up 2 beautiful girls for a game. This is just nuts. All these people losing their husbands. OMG!!!!! ZOMBIES!!!!! They're ZOMBIES! I knew the zombie apocalypse was coming!

Elizabeth - posted on 04/04/2010

17

0

0

Put your foot down!! Tell him there is a limit to playing on games when the baby is in bed say have an hour then spend the eveing with me, if that doesnt work unfortunatley take drastic action and tell him you and the baby will be gone if he says whatever or yeah ok have his stuff outside the house when he gets home from work, some men never grow up!!!! xx

Lisa - posted on 04/04/2010

150

40

20

My husband was the same way when we first started dated. I told him before we were married and had children that it had to stop because my kids and I wouldnt be second to a video game. He loved me enough to stop playing so much and now that we have a daughter and a baby on the way he only plays for 30 min to an hour at night when my daughter is in bed and Im taking a bath. So just tell him how your feeling and if that doesnt work get rid of the video games altogether. Which I told him I would if he chose the games over his family. You deserve more

Lisa - posted on 04/04/2010

2

9

0

i would give him the choice u and babes or Him and his video games...going for a walk doesnt cost $$ just simple things can mean a lot.

Video games are for kids. i have a bf with a ps3.and he used to play a lot when i was pregnant but that changed once carter was born.

Good luck to you

if he cant put down the controller than maybe u should put a scare into him by saying u need some time apart..and u think he should move?!

Sarah - posted on 04/04/2010

275

32

22

I feel your pain! I played an online game for years... but only when i was bored and never become obsessed with it! I tried to get my husband to start playing so he would stop complaining about having nothing to do after work and we would share a hobby! my husband now plays it all day everyday! He had surgery on his knee and was out of work for a month... i work at home and having him here all day was enough stress for me and it was even more stressful because he was on the comp all day and didn't spend any time with me! We went and talked to our pastor about it and it helped alot! we each got to tell our side of the story and how we were feeling and my husband said he wanted time to himself because we were at home all day and that he wanted time to himself before our 1st child is born in sept! he hasn't stopped playing but he is more open to listening to my concerns about it! we even have an alarm that goes off to tell him its time to get off so we can spend some time together before we go to bed! its not a perfect situation but its alot better than it used to be and we can both live with it! We also set aside one day a week that neither of us go on the comp and can spend time together! try to get a small compromise and if that works see if you can make it a little bigger by having 2 days off the game a week! good luck! just know your not the only one going through this type of situation!

Kristi - posted on 04/04/2010

47

20

2

If your husband has and Xbox put some stuff on top of it and if the air flow cant get to the hardrive it will get the red ring of death and quit lol and it looks like you did absolutly nothing to it! lol that happened to my husbands. We had the same problem you did until that happened. He had to send it to get fixed and in that month he realized how much more time he could spend with our daughter and with me. Sometimes guys take longer to realize they have to grow up. My husband has been an additcited gamer for about 5 years and weve neem together for 2. There are still days though that we get in a argument because he will play for 13 hours and not even realize it. I would love nothing more than to smash the damn thing with a sledge hammer but I know he loves us and is tring to play less to have more time with us. Good Luck I know its not easy.

Alexis&Taylors - posted on 04/04/2010

10

9

4

Your husband works so you can stay at home with your baby. First that is the best man you can find if he is allowing you to do this. He works at night and plays his video games to unwind. My husband does the same thing. Let him who cares. If you want attention be creative dress in something seductive or make dinner with candles. He wants to unwind no big deal. Or make a day that you can do something as a family schedule time that you want him to be with you. He could choose a million other ways to reduce his stess and unwind, drinking, drugs, partying, but no he is home at least he is at home.

Sunshine - posted on 04/04/2010

279

80

21

Never realized how many people actually play CoD2 I myself and on my way upstairs to play now, lmao & gonna add a couple people.. If you wanna add me.. HEY play your hubby's game & add me.. You will be addicted.. I used to hate the game, lmao!!



proudarmywife68



feel free to add me:)

Lauren - posted on 04/04/2010

37

41

4

Unplug it from the wall 1st, then cut the plug off and put the plug in the bin. You have not damaged the computer so he can still sell it or fix it some day but it will mean he cant use it now. I know this is drastic and I dont know if it will actually help because it may cause an argument but i bet you feel like doing it. You need to try to tlk to him,. Tell him that you can all go for a walk together or cook dinner together or something that doesnt cost anything. If he still wont listen tell him what you have told us, tell him he isnt the man you fell in love with and if he doesnt tell you whats wrong making him be like this or if he dosent change his ways then you can forsee yourself falling out of love with him and breaking up the family, makesure he knows your serious and listens otherwise your chold is going to end up with an unhappy mother. Chin up hunny xxx

Jennifer - posted on 04/04/2010

1

16

0

My husband was obsessed with his game and it was really bad when I was pregnant and right after our son was born. It got to the point I had to leave and tell him I wanted a divorce for things to change. He does still play but only after I've gone to bed and I go to bed fairly early. If you can talk to him, try it. Maybe counseling. Sometimes having that unbiased person helps. It's an awful situation to be in. I hope you 2 can work it out, it is an awful feeling to have the love fade. Feels like we are starting all over again.

Shaunacy - posted on 04/04/2010

34

57

0

My fiance is alot like that, First thing in the morning he turns on his computer game and let's it sit and then goes to his playstation3 and plays games on there. He's not as bad though, although he does play alot, he doesn't mind getting off for a few minutes to go help me with something. (i.e. Garbage, dishes, sweeping, laundry) sometimes I feel like we don't get much alone time either but when it comes down to the cruch he does put it all down to have a movie night with me when the kids go to bed. It's very frustrating when you have a video game addict in the house. but you need to let him know, (even if you have to turn off the tv.) that you are at a breaking point and he needs to fix what he has done wrong! If he isn;t interested in keeping a healthy relationship he won't talk or even try to fix anything. In which case I say he isn't worth your precious time!

Elise - posted on 04/04/2010

1

3

0

I have been in this exact situation. Mine played World of Warcraft as well. We had 4 kids total. 2 from my previous marriage, 1 from his and 1 together. There were many times I got tired of do everything around the house while he did nothing. Unplugging the computer doesn't work. They can get really upset. It's like taking a drug away from an addict. We tried counseling but he always went in with "good maybe they'll fix you" so never got anything out of it. I divorced him 5 months ago. I'm not saying do that but I did leave him 3 times because of it. I almost lost my baby (the one we have together) because he wouldn't help and the stress got to me. The day I came home from the hospital (after having a c-section) we went out that day an hour after I got home and left me with all 4 kids to go to a WoW party. Even leaving him for short periods didn't work. He would change for a month then go back to the way he was. I just got to my point I couldn't handle it anymore.

Heather - posted on 04/04/2010

19

12

5

My husband was addicted to World of Warcraft for years as well. It was the hardest thing I've ever dealt w/ in our marriage, not because of my suffering, but because of my children. We have 3 young boys, and it hurt me so much that they noticed daddy's attention was not on them. It came down to a single moment. I told my husband that he was losing his family. I did not care if all he ever wanted in life was to play games, because when the boys were older, and looked back to their childhood, they were going to see who was there, and who wasn't. I can't force my husband to change. I can't force him to be a better father. I just did what I could to open his eyes to our family's crisis. He still plays today, but there are strict rules, and we have deal breakers. I didn't want to ask him to give up that part of "who he is". I just wanted him to explore who he can be. It's worked for us, but each situation is going to be different. Good luck. Gaming is a hard addiction to compete with.

Cindy - posted on 04/03/2010

369

92

22

Let me guess......he plays either Halo, or Call of Duty 2 Modern Warfare. Yeah My husband does the same thing. He buys video games all the time......WHEN we can hardly afford to pay certain bills sometimes. And the stupid part is that he buys a new game every other week plays the game for 2 to 3 days straight beats the game and then NEVER plays the game again. WHAT A WASTE OF MONEY!!!! ARRRGGGH!!!

Natalie - posted on 04/03/2010

42

19

2

i UNDERSTAND AND I CANT HELP YOU TO MAKE IT BETTER WITH ADVICE BUT AS YOU NOTICE YOU ARE NOT ALONE SO IF YOU NEED TO TALK YOU KNOW WERE TO FIND ME!!!

Shannon - posted on 04/03/2010

19

9

0

It's great to be patient but patients eventually runs out. while it may be a stress reliever for HIM. What about the wife? She needs stress relief too. It's not always about HIM, obviously, because his wife is hurt that HE gets his time out for himself but is she getting time out with him? Apparently not and this is degrading. He needs to put down the control for AT LEAST an hour and focus on his family.

Natalie - posted on 04/03/2010

42

19

2

we've been together almost three years and we've talked about it maybe twice.And im never demeaning to him.I love him to death wich is why im trying to find solutions trust me im veeeeery patient

Christine - posted on 04/03/2010

71

13

5

I myself am addicted to video games I am not sure how to do it, but making him feel stupid or wrong because he plays IS NOT the answer. The game itself is a stress relief and by causes more stress he will only want to play more. Make suggestions to set timers or only play when the kids are asleep . You also must understand on the time situation games some things cannot be paused and may take a little longer. Would also recommend you play the game as well and talk to him about, it will make you less of an outsider. Just don't be demeaning because you will only make matters worse.

Natalie - posted on 04/03/2010

42

19

2

i have tried playing the game he doesnt let me play for long...And I do want to keep him but he should want to keep me too... So im notgoing to give in completly and loose myself because he refuses to grow up and stop beeing selfish

Autum - posted on 04/03/2010

35

9

3

I only read a few responses so I might be repeating something. But it is possible to be addicted to video games. He might seriously need an intervention if its interfering in your life that much and you cant tear him away.

Carly - posted on 04/03/2010

245

41

25

Video game addictions are for real. You need to get him to see a counselor, they got lost in the 'other life' they've created in the video world (simulated games like world of warcraft that are basically neverending are the worst) almost like an alternate reality for them, somewhere to escape and not deal with real life. He's probably freaked out over the life change of becoming a parent, struggling with money, probably not happy at work.....this is his out, his drug of choice if you will.

You should seek the help of a counselor. Call your insurance for a referral, or look for a local counseling center in your area, a lot are low cost. Be firm with him and insist that you both go (he most likely won't just go alone) or give him an ultimatum. Make sure he takes you seriously. My husband had an addiction years ago (not to video games or drugs- but to something else) and I had to pack my bags to get him to deal with it. He saw a counselor and dealt with what he had to deal with and everything was resolved after that.

Please do this for his sake as well as yours. This is a sign of depression and you don't want it to get worse.

Sara - posted on 04/03/2010

10

3

0

well its bedtime for the princessa... Im off to my PS3 to play some MW2!!! lol all you moms who said you game too.. feel free to add me damn_not_smartass im usually on -naptime and bedtime!!!

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms