Vanessa - posted on 02/09/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )
Hi, I am just writing because I need someone to talk to or to vent. My name is Vanessa Branch and I have been depressed for a long time way before I became a mom. I was in denial, but when I had my son, it really took a turn for the worse. There are things I did that I can't post because ACS would have been called on me. I am very ashamed of what I did, but sometimes it gets overwhelming. I am 27 now and my son is 6 yrs old. It has gotten better, but I am living with my mother-in-law now and I don't like it one bit. I am currently on medication because of my depression that seems to take over my life. My mother-in-law doesn't help and is always trying to tell me how to raise my son. She even had the nerve to say "I should get to know my son better because obvious I don't know him that well for him to be bullied at school" Found out that the situation witht he kid touch my son was that he was touching them first! Kids are going to be kids and I have every faith and trust in the school that they will take care of my son. But my mother-in-law doesn't seem to believe that. I feel like I constantly have to prove to everyone that I am a good mother. I know I make mistakes, but when it comes to major decision such as moving out, I always have a plan. Part of life is taking a risk and it seems like my husband doesn't want to leave the nest just yet. I know he wants to save, but I don't know how much more mental torture I can take. My husband is getting back 6 grand in tax returns I want to be able to give my son his own room and me a peice of mind. I have no peace in my mind, constantly worrying, anxious and crying inside wondering when am I going to have peace. I am suffering and no one hears my cries at night or in my dreams where the worse have been played out. I don't know what to do anymore. I am not an aggressive person nor do I like confrontation. I iold my husband about what his mother said to me and he did not stick for me. If I don't get out of that apartment I am scared of what will happen to me. No one is gonna be able to do anything anyways so I hope GOD can hear my cries and suffering because I want it to end any way possible.
lonely and depressed