Being a sane mom....

Vanessa - posted on 02/09/2010 ( 2 moms have responded )

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Hi, I am just writing because I need someone to talk to or to vent. My name is Vanessa Branch and I have been depressed for a long time way before I became a mom. I was in denial, but when I had my son, it really took a turn for the worse. There are things I did that I can't post because ACS would have been called on me. I am very ashamed of what I did, but sometimes it gets overwhelming. I am 27 now and my son is 6 yrs old. It has gotten better, but I am living with my mother-in-law now and I don't like it one bit. I am currently on medication because of my depression that seems to take over my life. My mother-in-law doesn't help and is always trying to tell me how to raise my son. She even had the nerve to say "I should get to know my son better because obvious I don't know him that well for him to be bullied at school" Found out that the situation witht he kid touch my son was that he was touching them first! Kids are going to be kids and I have every faith and trust in the school that they will take care of my son. But my mother-in-law doesn't seem to believe that. I feel like I constantly have to prove to everyone that I am a good mother. I know I make mistakes, but when it comes to major decision such as moving out, I always have a plan. Part of life is taking a risk and it seems like my husband doesn't want to leave the nest just yet. I know he wants to save, but I don't know how much more mental torture I can take. My husband is getting back 6 grand in tax returns I want to be able to give my son his own room and me a peice of mind. I have no peace in my mind, constantly worrying, anxious and crying inside wondering when am I going to have peace. I am suffering and no one hears my cries at night or in my dreams where the worse have been played out. I don't know what to do anymore. I am not an aggressive person nor do I like confrontation. I iold my husband about what his mother said to me and he did not stick for me. If I don't get out of that apartment I am scared of what will happen to me. No one is gonna be able to do anything anyways so I hope GOD can hear my cries and suffering because I want it to end any way possible.

lonely and depressed

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Vanessa - posted on 02/09/2010

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Ooooh my GOD, LOL, you don't know what that means to me to hear that.I felt like I was the worse person in the world because I had these feelings of anger and hatred because I feel like I am not being heard. My mother-in-law is the type of person who won't stop until she gets the desired answered so there is no point to talking to her. I love my husband dearly and I know he means well, but sometimes I feel like he got comfortable and is scared to take a risk. I have been on my own since I was 11 (emotionally and mentally) 19 physically so I know all about risk taking. He is the baby of the family and I am trying to be patient but I seem to have no patience left. It is funny that you mention to leave it up to GOD because I decided that I needed to go back to the church we got married in. Even the pastor is hinting for me to come back and become a sunday school teacher since I love working with children. I will keep you posted (library timed computer LOL) and Thank You for a friendly reminder.



Feeling Better

SAMANTHA - posted on 02/09/2010

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hello, i just want too say ur not alone... i also had to live with inlaws in my first marriage and its very hard and everything you are feeling is normal... you do need your own space and so does your son, plus having your owns space gives you room to grow as a mother without the constant feeling of being judged...i divorced my husband do to his lack of drive to provide and give me and my son a home of our own after 5 yrs of living with in laws i was fed up... he always has an exscuse but the truth is he just didnt wasnt too be on his own and take responsability for his own family...that and he was doing drugs behing my back and thats when i left...im now married to a wonderfull man and he is everything to me .... we just baught a house and i allowed his mom too move in with us bc she was in a very abusive relationship with his father so needless to say im still stuck with an in law and there are times that i want to explode my self and i also feel as if she is watching me and judging , i also have a second son with my husband so i always feel like shes watching to see if i favor one of my sons over the other...this all could be just my imagination but thats how i feel and im not bad for feeling that way.... it think a really good idea is therapy .. i know how that sounds but let me tell you talking too someone who can help u sort out feelings u dont even realise you have can work wonders...... i never thought therapy would work but i wouldnt give it up for anything in the world...i always say if everyone in the world would go to therapy it would be a better place....you also have to give it all to God .... talk too him be patiant and wait he will answer you in his time not urs..... you have to do what you thinks is best for you and your child for ur sanity.... sometimes its hard to make such decisions but i had to do it and it was soo hard but im glad i did what i had to do ... now im happy and i still have problems as does everyone but my life is what i make of it....u have to take controll of your life and make what you want of it or else you will never be happy and possibly never get better.....you need to live in a positive enviroment and that would meen getting a place of your own...u cant expect things to get better if u are living in a negative enviroment and if you dont have the strength to do it for your self have the strength to do it for ur son to give him a better life and mom...much love and God Bless...im here if you need me...i know alot about what ur going through mentally also,,,,,