bi racial kids~is anyone sick and tired of those dirty looks?

Keturah - posted on 02/09/2010 ( 21 moms have responded )

6

10

0

i go to the super market or hop on the bus and people start speaking in spanish or even give me dirty looks, exspeacily the ederly people.....im full african american and my daughter is calcasin and black, but she moslty look white. people point and stare at me when im in public with my kid. they always ask the same dam question to, r u babysitting? is she yours? i even got question in a frickin hospital when my kid was sick and the doctor ask me like oh is this your kid? and how come shes so white?
i think this is sad that still to this day we always gonna see color and people are just going to keep being so dam rude, what do you other mom think?

This conversation has been closed to further comments

21 Comments

View replies by

Candace - posted on 12/05/2012

758

15

103

The only time I get looks is when we're all out together and people can see that I'm with a white man. Usually when it's just my son and I out together a few people will say he's cute and ask if he's mixed. It is annoying though when we're all out together and people are looking at me as if I'm some strange creature or something. I think it's ridiculous that we're still dealing with this type of issue. I'm so happy my family raised me to accept people of all races because I've had the chance to meet some amazing people and I'm definitely raising my son to accept everyone no matter the color of their skin

Milicent - posted on 12/05/2012

5

0

0

Thank you for your wonderful honesty. Now imagine being black and never having had a black friend until college. The only black children at schools were bussed in for better education opportunities. I understand culture shock which can happen no matter your color. I understand.

Corky - posted on 03/03/2010

18

26

1

since i live in a small state i don't see it as often but yes i hate that question is she yours? i am mixed mexican and white my husband is white and my daughter is white go figure and a girl who has known me at least 15 years saw my daughter for the first time and said oh she's beautiful is she yours?? eggg i said quick as a beat nope i like taking strange children and spend 2 to 300 dollars on them for clothes she got the idea and i got a laugh....

Porsche - posted on 03/02/2010

1

1

0

I'm a product of a bi-racial couple, my mother is black & father is white...and I look more caucasian to some. We used to get the same judgemental looks when we would go out, so I know exactly where you are coming from. Eventually you just stop caring because people are going to be ignorant until the end of time. My son is bi-racial..I'm obviously black & white...and his father is Nigerian & white. We STILL get crazy looks from time to time. I wouldn't let it bother you, HATERS just let you know that you are doing something RIGHT. I bet your daughter is absolutely stunning :-)

Nicole - posted on 03/02/2010

37

4

4

my dh tends to notice things more than I do when we go out...he's caucasian and I'm black...not sure if it's because we're in the northeast, but I've only ever gotten compliments on my baby boy even from people we don't know....he's quite the charmer though

Mallory - posted on 03/02/2010

19

33

1

yeeesss i know how u feel my kids are half African american / native american and white.. and people are always stareing as if they have never seen mixed kids before.. i say they are stareing bc they see how beautiful our kids are lol.. but i can see the rude whispers by older people.. my kids look more white then black so we do get alot of looks like are those really his kids?? im sure your daughter is gorgeous! and just look at it as if they are just jealous of your beautiful baby!

Alesha - posted on 03/02/2010

35

21

1

Yes this has happened to me too, Im a dark skin black woman and my fiance is very light skinned Puerto Rican. Our two year old son is very light and looks fully hispanic. I have had people ask me if he were mine. Usually if we're out with his father no one questions us, maybe because he looks just like his father, however when its just me and my son out I have gotten confused and strange stares from mostly hispanic people who also try and speak spanish behind my back. I find it really funny, especially since I know spanish and I like to surprise them and answer them back and sometimes even curse them out (Good thing my son is just learning spanish and isn't bilingual yet.) Most of the time its not so negative, its usually people just asking what is he mixed with or if he is hispanic which he is so I don't let it bother me. Others just think mixed kids are so beautiful and talk about how cute he is or how much they love his "good" hair. Im more annoyed at the people that somehow think that my son is cuter because he's mixed as if I couldn't have made a cute child with a black man. Im in NY so where we're at many many people are mixed so its not so frowned upon here like it is in some places.

Jessica - posted on 03/02/2010

2

4

0

I know how you feel girl! I'm White and my Husband is Puerto Rican. We have a daughter who looks just like her dad, when we go out I notice the looks and even in my own circle of so called friends say things about me having a Puerto Rican baby! I love my daughter and think she is the cutest baby in the world,I think mixed babies are so adorable! I love her skin and curly hair! I wish people were not like this but this is the world we live, I just ignore them. I love my family and wouldn't trade them for anything!
We've been together for 9 years, some of people still doesn't accept our interracial marriage!

Monique - posted on 03/02/2010

1

26

0

I have 3 little girls and they are bi-racial as so am I. I dont get dirty looks, or if I am im not paying attention. My girls are beautiful and I will lose it if someone ever says anything negative about them and the fact they are mixed. We live in the future that everyone was so afraid of. And as far as im concerned there is no one that is fully one race!

Keturah - posted on 03/02/2010

6

10

0

yes amen,and god bless your wonderful family and i hope you can be a role modle for other young couple to plan ahead and wait, i like dat,lol

Sheryl - posted on 03/02/2010

714

18

65

i think it sad when people do that type of stuff. i am indian and also german. plus, they may be mix in some way there salf. so they should do it to theres. my children got german from both side of me and my husbend then they got indian from me. my grandpa is half white and half indian. my great grandpa is full blooded indian. i was always raise to never see color. i am raising my kids the same way. even though they are know being raise in the south there is no way that i well ever let them see people as different. those poeple that do the stuff should be ashamed of there self. i feel so sorry for you. no one should have to go through anything like that esp. not a child.

Katherine - posted on 03/02/2010

6

50

0

I was raised in a mostly white suburb outside of New Orleans and I see biracial kids all the time, I even went to school with a bunch of them and to be perfectly honest, they are some of the most beautiful people in the entire world!! Their eyes are always stunning and their skin is always that perfect mix of color and I just honestly think they're beautiful people. Some people still haven't moved out of the 60's and you just need to ignore them and be insanely proud of your beautiful daughter and worry about having to beat boys off with sticks when she gets older, because I can promise it will happen! All the biracial kids in my high school ALWAYS had the most people asking them to dances and stuff. I was friends with a few biracial kids in school and I would always tell them how jealous I was of them. I can't say it's not a big deal that people act that way still, after almost 50 years, because it is a big deal, but keep your head up and ignore them because, dammit, you don't need their approval for anything anyway, and neither does your little girl!!

Keturah - posted on 03/02/2010

6

10

0

yessss! girllll i do da same thing! surprise them and speak Spanish back to the other Hispanic on da bus,lmao i get a kick out of the looks one there face how ashame after words they must feel(even dow im not spanish but i learn alot from wathing dora da explora wit my kid and my (now) hubby dats purto rican LOL

Nikki - posted on 02/09/2010

1,524

23

151

I agree with Jessica. Mixed babies always seem to be adorable. I'm sorry you are going through this, ignore all these stupid people , it's not worth your time. I kind of have the same experience but different. Im 28 and married, yet I look like im 16 and everytime Im out with my son I get the worst looks , I have people come up to me and say oh he can't be yours, or ask me how tough it is to be a teen mom, or if I plan on finishing high school. I'm sick of it because we planned and waited to have my son, we waited til we finished school and were married and stable. People need to mind their own business plain and simple.

Sherri Nes - posted on 02/09/2010

6

17

0

i hope that when my daughter grows up she won't be judged or looked at funny because she's bi-racial..i'm filipino and my boyfriend is white she has really fair skin and i have a more darker tan color..i can't believe there are people like that still..it makes me sad and a little worried for her..i hope that by the time she's older people can accept each other as people and not judge them by the color of their skin or what race they are..just continue what your doing raise her to not judge..i believe that being bi-racial will benefit her one day and make her more open minded and accepting of others..

Carolee - posted on 02/09/2010

21,950

17

567

I get those comments. I know I'm going to get them more once my daughter arrives in July because, while my son is half Mexican (and looks it), my daughter will be full white because my (now) husband is... oh, yeah, so am I. We just usually go to the same places so the people get to know us. I don't know when this "age of assumtion" is going to end. There are a LOT of bi-racial couples and children out there in the world, yet people don't seem to understand that the parents are going to look different than both each other and the children. I personally think that bi-racial people are the most beautiful people in the world... I NEVER thought I'd have a full white baby!



All we can do is try to stick together and be supportive of one another, and hopefully the rest of the world will catch on.



Although I did find the part about people speaking Spanish funny because people will do that to me, too. I love surprising them by answering them back! I don't know why, but even though my son is Mexican, people still don't think I can speak Spanish...

Nicci - posted on 02/09/2010

7

34

0

Since my children aren't bi-racial, I don't know first hand how you must feel everyday. My brother and his wife were not able to have kids so they adopted. Their 2 oldest are full african american as well. After they adopted their 2nd child they became pregnant with their own child, after 15 years of trying. The looks they get in public if they are out in public with the kids, without the other one there is unreal. It's hurtful to them and the kids. I wish that I could take that pain away from my niece and nephew. I wish that society didn't have to be so judgemental. I'm sorry for the issues you and your daughter have to face on a daily basis. it shouldn't be that way. Best of luck to you and your daughter. The best thing you can do for her is to show her the high road, which it sounds like you are doing! Keep up the good work!!

Jessica - posted on 02/09/2010

986

20

64

Wow, I can't believe people nowadays still act that way. That kind of thing makes me so angry. But it sure motivates me even more to raise my child not to be that way!

[deleted account]

i was raised in the deep south so i find myself giving looks at first but then i think the world that we are in today and its okay.. its all in how we are rasied... i never had any blacks at any school i went to so when i went to college it was like wow... im stll trying to overcome the sterotype but it takes a while to break habit... and ill apoligize to it... im biracial as well lol (cherokee and irish) when you look at my dad and brothers they are all dark skinned and dark thick hair i have red hair and fair skin so im sure he gets looks as well lol my mom is the irish one lol hopefully by the time our kids generation grows up it wont matter...

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms