Boyfriend cheated on me again, is it best for my baby if I stay?

Sarah - posted on 04/24/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

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So me and my boyfriend have been together for 2 1/2 years, about 3 months ago we had and argument about him not coming home until 6 am. I had a feeling in the pit of my stomach so i went through his phone, i found that he was sexting another girl and had naked pictures she sent him on his phone from the night he was out late. I confronted him and he said sorry and he wouldn't do it again. I had our son almost 2 months ago. When i went to facebook i found that he didn't sign out of his when he used my laptop in the hospital, i found messages of sexual content with a girl he used to work with. I looked at the date and found that he did this in the hospital hours after our son was born. When i confronted him he said it was harmless flirting, i said it wasn't because it harmed me and they exchanged phone numbers and were making plans to get together. He still doesn't seem sorry and put a lock on his phone and gets jumpy when i go near him when hes texting or somthing on it. Can i trust him? I'm having a hard time getting over it and don't think I will. help?









Me again. I found a text in his phone this morning too, at 3 am i called him and he said he was coming home, but he didn't get home till 430, he texted a girl at 340 asking if she was awake, do you think he was going to cheat? it sounds suspicious. It hurt so bad before and now I kind of feel nothing. opinions? I wanted my baby to have the perfect family but is it best for him if I stay?

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Julia - posted on 04/30/2012

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Once I let them get away with it u are excepting this behavior. It's like telling him it's okay to sleep w other s
Women . Break it off, Atleast for now. If it was truly a mistake and he works hard to prove his love and get u back, that's up to u . It's easier said then done. Do not make it easy for him tho. In my opinion :/ sorry this happend to u and just realize it is not Ur fault and is not a reflection of u . Men have a hard time being faithful for many reasons , biggest one being they have a penis !

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I do not think this guy is very responsible. I can't possibly tell you what decision to make but if it was me i would kick him to the curb. And make sure he pays child support. It is not healthy to both you and your baby to have a unfaithful father. It is hard being on your own, but you will be staying for the wrong reasons, and it looks like he is going to do that over and over. Which seems to me he might possibly have commitment phobia. Unfortunately sweetheart you can't trust a man who's cheated on you multiple times. Once if forgivable... twice i don't think so.

Tina - posted on 04/30/2012

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I think the most important question you need to ask yourself is. Do I want my son thinking it's okay to treat the mother of his child this way. What advice would you give someone in your situation.

Alisha - posted on 04/24/2012

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It sounds like he is deffently cheaping an been cheating on you. the best thing for your baby is for you to be happy. everybody is appy when mamas happy. I know from experance it will be tough doing it own your own but you will notice a big difference in your baby when you are happy!

Katrina - posted on 04/24/2012

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the choice is always yours no matter what people put on here and its not easy to just leave the dad its different when he was your boyfriend but no he is your baby's dad. what he is doing isnt right and this is hard for you. You need to do what you feel is best for you and your little one. Fighting is not healthy for your child you feel bad and your child feels that. Maybe you can find a place to be be for awhile and see how you feel being away from him. Maybe the best thing is space get the baby away from the fight and work it out with him. Have someone watch the baby and go on dates with him. See if it gets better. Time away also maybe give you a chance to say yes i can be a single mom. Its a big step im not trying to scare you but its hard.

Brittany - posted on 04/24/2012

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Wow, thats astounding. I think you should leave, not only is this going to bring down your self esteem - but it very well could leave you depressed and unable to be a good mommy. Or the best mommy you could be, however you look at it.



Not to mention your child growing up in a home where this is acceptable - you don't want your son to think it is acceptable to treat women this way.



Obviously I am not you, and cannot make these decision for you. But I can share with you after I had my first son, I was in an abusive relationship.. and it was muchhhh easier to leave when he was young and did not understand what was going on. I think if I would have waited until he was 5-6 yrs old this would have been much harder emotionally for him...



You deserve to have a man who respects you and shows unconditional love. Cheating while you had your baby! Does not show this in anyway!



I also had a bf who was cheating.. I stayed for a while, I would check his phone/facebook, ect anything I could do to ensure he wasn't cheating. It became routine for me to follow up on him, and caused me an immense amout of stress and like I mentioned earlier really hurt my self esteem. This did NOT help me in anyways of being a young mom. Checking on him was my first priority. When I finally did leave, I promised myself I would never do this to myself again. If I suspected/worried there was ever another woman, I would simply leave. It is not worth the heartache or the stress I put on my sons and mine relationship during these feelings.



You can have a lovely family with just your son. And by leaving it could help empower you to find a proper respectable man.



Now my final outlook.. I won't let a man meet/interact with my son until I know him well enough that I would be certian that I would be proud if my son ended up 'Just Like Him'.



And after 6 years of looking, I found that man.. I'm currently pregnant by him, and so in love its ridiculous. It was a struggle being on my own for that long, its intimidating to raise a boy by yourself! But have faith that life will get easier - and you are much better off being alone and happy, than in a relationship and unhappy. Your child needs a happy healthy home - being a parent changes us to realize life is now for them, and your happiness and pride are needed to ensure they are raised to be the same type of people protecting themselves from people who treat them badly.



Good luck to you and your new baby I hope you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.. it's hard work but you and your baby deserve it!

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