boyfriends/hubbys in the army

April - posted on 02/10/2010

hi, I'm 25 and have a 15 month old son. My husband just left 3 weeks ago for basic training. I miss him so much! Now, i only have one child and you have 3 so it might be a little more difficult for you. Having just one is tough when i'm doing it all by myself and i'm so used to having him home at night. My son is only 15 months but he sure does noticed that daddy isnt here. Before my husband left he made a bunch of videos on the computer for our son to watch while he's gone. I also show my son pics of his daddy all the time. I gave him a pic of him and his daddy together to carry around with him...he keeps it in his toybox. :) When my husband writes me i make sure to read the letters to our son. My husband has also had phone privelages a few times already and when he does call it's short but i always make sure to let him talk to our son. Everything will be ok and it'll work out. It will just be a little rough having to do everything on your own. I don't know if you work or not, but just going to work every day will become a vacation almost for you. ha ha. I stay at home all day and recently had to take my car off the road temporarily and moved in with my grandfather temp. so i'm stuck in this house all day long in the winter with half my stuff packed in boxes. ugh, it's so frustrating. Daddy isnt here anymore to give me a little break in the evening. But...everything will be ok. Oh, and i hope you had some money saved to use before he gets paid. We were told that my husband would get paid on the 1st and the 15th effective immediatly after he got to basic. Well, he didnt get paid on the first like we thought and we were pretty broke when he left so i've gone almost a month now just barely scraping by. It going to take him about 4 weeks to get paid...i'm still waiting...and i'm still broke. Thank god for our family who is helping me out :) Hope everything works out for you. Keep your head up and don't show the kids that you're frustrated or anything. Just be the best mommy you can be :)

Katie - posted on 02/10/2010

I grew up with 2 air force dads. My mom would write things down or have me record them on a tape so the next time we talked we had the question or send them the tape and they would send one back. I wrote them letters all the time!! I have friends that have bfs/hubbys in one of the armed forces, they do webcams with their familys.. GOOD LUCK!!

Jacklyn - posted on 02/10/2010

my hubby is deployed for the first time and we have a 7 month old. He misses our son every much. U will do fine. Army wives have a way of preserving through anything thrown at us and u will get the hang of it too. Just find wives that have kids too and get a good feel for your FRG..they will help u when u need it. Basic training will be tough but just take this as basic for u too. also if you go to http://www.myarmyonesource.com/About/Sit... and take the training exercises they may help.

Michaela - posted on 02/10/2010

I am an Army wife too. While he is in basic you will be fine. Just talk to your children and let them know that Daddy has to go away for work for a little while. You will be able to talk to him on the phone and you can encourage them to write him/ letters and draw him pictures. It is only 8 weeks so it shouldn't be too bad. Once he is in AIT you will be able to visit him. This may actually be good practice for you in case he gets deployed later. It gives you a chance to see how your boys cope so you can help them deal with a possible longer seperation later.

It is very hard being a military wife, especially a new one. My advice is to be supportive and get as much support as you can. There are several resources on post (his permanent duty station) that will be very usful to you. When you inprocess make sure you pay attention during the briefings. Also, check out the Child Delevopment Center and AER/ACS. They have alot of helpfull resources/classes that will benefit your children. Another thing that would be good for you personally is the spouses clubs on post or the FRG. Get involved in a lot as soon as you get there, it is the perfect way for you to meet other Army wives/mothers. It is important to build a support before your husbands deploys(possibly) so that you have people you trust already. Trust me, if you build your support system you will be fine. Army wives stick together and we take care of each other, especially when someones husband is gone. One problem though is that you usually have to be married to utilized the resources on post.

Anna - posted on 02/10/2010

my husband has been in the army for 3 years. it is difficult being away from your loved one, but you just have to pull through. and of course your boys are going to miss him, but he will be back. you've just got to surround yourself with supportive people. you will come to learn the ways of being an army wife, and you will meet some of the greatest people, who will be in the same boat as you. and you will do fine. just keep yourself busy. which im sure you will be with 3 little ones. everything will be OKAY :)

Tracy - posted on 02/10/2010

Hi i have been married to my husband for 6yr (in feb) we have a 5yr (in March) and he joined the Australian Army 2yrs ago (in March) he left the day before our daughters 3rd birthday.
He went away for 3 mths to start with for basic training we had very limited contact we saw in for a total of 3 days in that 3 mth... then when that was done he had more training to do for is job that he was going into so he was away for the most part of 18mths... and i was pregnant with our second when he first left. It his a hard time and the kids will start to miss him, it may take a little bit for that to happen but it will, i just explained to my daughter that daddy was at work and to a certain point that worked. The hardest moment i found was when one day she screamed at me. I DONT LIKE U I WANT MY DADDY! don't stress to much about u not being able to cope it's amazing how us mothers just do...
I mean i had a few moments when i went to my mother in laws and said take her NOW... lol.... but u do cope...
Also the hardest thing with ur 3 mth old will be for ur husband and when he returns, my husband went away after our son was born (he was 3 mth) and returned when he was 7 to 8 mths and my son wanted nothing to do with him, if i left the room and he was with his dad he would scream the house down.. lol... i think it took our son about 3 mths to actually want to go to his daddy...

Malica - posted on 02/09/2010

Hi my husband is active duty army we have beento gether through it all basic and three deployments. For you I suggest a support system Its great . Second for the older boys you can try these I did thes when my husband depolyed and it helped first get a pic of your man my him self and lainate one for each of the boys and tell them that if the need alone time whie missing daddy then to get there pic of him and go to a room or chair to them self. My sons daycare alowed him to have quiet time with the pic if he was sad. second vedoe him reading to them. third make date night with the boys doing something special with them and talk constently with them about dad and when hes coming back and what yall plan to do when he gets back ! Also remeber that you are a women that mean you are tougher and can handle anything out there expesially if it means a better life for your family !

Kendra - posted on 02/09/2010

he is going to training as in basic? if so it will be fine! you will get to write him all the letters you want and once he gets to a certain phase he can call every sunday. it will be ok!

Kayla - posted on 02/09/2010

my husband is currently deployed to Afghanistan. It is tough being with a man in the military, but somehow we get through it. Kids are stronger than we give them credit for. If they ask about their father you should tell them that he is fighting for our country and is a hero. My daughter is almost 2 and asks about Jeff all the the time. I show her pictures daily and she understands that he will be back soon. We take pictures to send to him and make stuff for his carepackages together. As for me... I take it day by day. Some are better than others. There are days that I don't hear from him and those are hard, but I know that he is coming home to me and my daughter. I also know that he is sacrificing his time with his family to save the lives and futures for thousands... Knowing that makes it so much easier. This is still new to me also, but I keep busy and try to enjoy my days. My best advice... Find a hobby, involve your children, and keep your chin up as much as possible... If you need anything just let me know

Katie - posted on 02/09/2010

My husband is active duty in the air force and both my little brothers are getting ready to join. My advice to you is create a support system. Do you have any family or friends that you can rely on and that will help you? i notice that you said boyfriend, I dont now about the Army rules but I do know that he should be able to write and yes your boys are going to miss him but you could make a time twice a week that the older 2 could sit down and make dad a picture and you could include that in your letters back to him. If you have 3 boys under the age of 5 you are a lot stronger then you think!!! If you need someone to talk to please message me!

Trina - posted on 02/09/2010

My husband has been in the military for a long time ( US Army) and I have been a military wife for nine years. The key to making it is to surround yourself with supportive people. Make sure the women who you will be getting to know lift you up and not tear you down. Seek out support. Army One Source is a great place to start for information. You can gets lots of advice about what to expect, places where you can get help, and what military life is like. It can be very challenging but also very rewarding. I have been able to travel with my husband and I have made some wonderful life long friends during his time in the service. the ability to travel and to get to experience other cultures has allowed me to grow as a person and learn new things. I have been exposed to different people and ways of life that I would have never have known in my small home town. I've been afforded opportunities for college and my kids medical care is paid in full. Those to me are some of the best benefits of being a military spouse.

I am raising two special needs boys while my husband is on his third deployment. Rather than feeling alone though I feel strong, and empowered to take care of my children and be independent. You are stronger than you realize. People ask how I do it and honestly thousands of other military spouses and I would tell you we just do. We make the best of it, and communication with our spouse is the key to making a resilient and lasting marriage. We communicate about everything, and we work together as a team. Don't be afraid, you are about to embark on a new and exciting adventure. hugs.

Rachel - posted on 02/09/2010

Hi dawn, im with my boyfriend for a year. He too is in the army for the past couple of years. We are due our first baby in august and there could be a posibility he will be sent out to chad for four months in May. He will miss the birth and the first month of our babies life. I too have never been without him so far but when i really need him he might not be there. hold your head up and be strong. your boys will look up to there dad for the work he does. Remember that you have 3 little boys which are a part of your boyfriend to keep you going and the time will fly. you will cope because the kids will keep you going.

Alexandra - posted on 02/09/2010

My husband is in basic combat training right now we have one son (8 months) and it is hard, but we as women are strong. You will find that you are stronger than you ever imagined your going to miss him like crazy and your also going to be very proud of the sacrifice he is making for your family. It will get easier hang in there and keep your head up.