bringing my newborn home to her 4 yr old sister

Tameeka - posted on 02/06/2009 ( 8 moms have responded )

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hi i have a nearly 4 yr old girl who has just started kindy i also have one on the way which will be born tomorrow as i am getting induced tomorrow and want to make the best start for them both so my 4 year old doesnt feel left out

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Kirsty - posted on 02/07/2009

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my son had just turned 1 when i had my daughter n when he came to visit in the hospital he wouldnt come near me or his sister but eventually he came round then he was great with her loved cuddling her and holding her they were 4 and 3 when i had my 3rd child and once again they were great wanted to help all the time fetching nappies n helping to bath her i had my fourth 6months ago n noticed my oldest son whos almost 7 wasnt interested much just wanted to play his computer games but the girls are like second mothers to him as he got a bit older tho and started laughin and interactin with people my oldest has started to play with him more

Kerry - posted on 02/07/2009

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When I had my second boy I gave him a present each time he came to visit the hospital and asked visitors to pay as much, if not more, attention to my older boy. I also had a present for my 3yo to give the baby. Talk to your older child lots about how babies are "talking" when they cry and spend lots of time together. Involve your older child in EVERYTHING if they want to, there is almost always something that they can do. I think the biggest thing though is not to panic if they touch or "prod" They need to bond with the baby too

Laura - posted on 02/07/2009

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let you 4 year old get involved as much as possible. When I had my second child I let my son help out at times like when I changed a nappy I asked him if he could get me the wipes or a nappy this will help her to feel involved. Also spend some one on one time with your daughter when the baby is asleep like reading a story or if you feel up to it baking a cake together. Hope all went ok with the birth and wish you all the luck in the world x

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Something I've read that made a lot of sense was telling one child that they had to wait for the other one.  Like if the baby is crying telling your older child they needed to wait a minute.  But also doing that for your older child.  So if your older child needed help with something telling your younger child that they needed to wait because you needed to help your older child.  Of course your newborn won't know what you are saying but it makes your older child feel like they are the most important one at that moment and not feel ignored. 

Katie - posted on 02/06/2009

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I'm in the same boat. My daughter is 1 and our second baby is due in June. I wish I could give you personal advice but I can't. I know my cousin has a 3 year old and just had another baby. And to help him cope she gave him a new teddy bear and told him that it was his baby Zack and to take care of it like she takes care of the actual baby. My daughter is too young to understand that concept, but it might work with you.

Vanessa - posted on 02/06/2009

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i have a 4 yr old and when my little girl was born 6 months ago i thought it would be really hard, there will be times your daughter will feel left out as babies need alot more attention you just got to try and include her.. when my baby was born i went out and brought my son some gifts something he has wanted for a while and made it a very special day...  also have an hour a night/afternoon with just your 4 yr old do whatever she wants to do, she will do things to try to get attention but you have to sit her straight and tell her the boundries if she does something naughty then say if you cantinue then you can't have your 1 on 1 time aand explain things, and i noticed my boy loves to help feed and bath her it is a great way to do things with her in it... best of luck..xx

Kristina - posted on 02/06/2009

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ask your 4 year old to bring you a diaper or wipes or a clean outfit also let her hold the washclot when you give your baby a bath....it helps a lot and she will want to be around the baby even more and she will feel special and  won't feel jelousy towards the newborn.....congrats on your new baby and good luck

Mindy - posted on 02/06/2009

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Have your four year old help out as much as possible with the new baby so she feels included and needed. Aslo make special time just for her. The best time is during one of the newborns many naps

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