Monica - posted on 05/05/2012 ( 17 moms have responded )
Im so sorry that this post might be too long but I could really use your advice. If you dont mind, Pls read and give me your honest opinons.
Well, My ex and I met when we were in high school and we will make 5 yrs together soon. When we first got together, I always heard rumors of him seeing someone else but i never believed it until i caught him in action. We were always on and off. When i just graduated high school, I found out i was pregnant and clearly was not thinking things througly so i got an abortion which i regret so much. After all this I went staright to college and wanted to do my own thing and didnt want to get hurt again so i broke up with my bf and tried to focus on me. During this time, I eventually started seeing someone else and he eventually started dating someone else too. while we were seperated he would always try and work things out. It took me so long to forgive him for cheating but eventually i realized that there was no one else i wanted to be with but him so we got back together. A month after we got back together I found out that the girl he was dating while we werent together was pregnant. I was so mad because me and him were together for two years. I felt like it was all my fault that we were in that situation. We broke up for a while and soon started talking again because we both thought that it was a mistake and we couldnt just let go of eachother again and he would tell me that i was such a good person that he did not want to loose me again. After i had forgiven him for getting her pregnant, i caught him plenty of times cheating on me. Going back and forth between me and her. He would tell me he was just confused, He doesnt feel love for her but she was threating him about not seeing the baby when she was born. Of course, I tried to look at it from his point of view and understood how he might be confused, So i always took him back.
So here is where the story gets even more crazier. Last Oct. I found out i was pregnant again. I was so mad because i thought how can i get pregnant too knowing he has a kid on the way already. I was so mad, I thought about abortion again. Once I tried to calm down, I knew i did not want to feel the regret like i did from the first abortion. So ive decided to keep it. When he found out i was pregnant, he told the other girl about me the same day and we decided no more drama it was either me or her and he choose me. When we decided to be together, My bf decided to go get my name tattooed on him and suprise me. When she found out about him getting my name on him, she decided to move to Calafornia. Me and him did good the first 6 months of my pregnancy until the other baby was born!
As soon as he found out his daughter was born, he wanted to take a plane over there and see her. I tried to trust him and let him go even though i was so scared. When he came back home i knew something was up and eventually i found out that he told her he wanted to be with her and not me and that they had sex. He even told me, Im going to cover up your name and move to cali.
Im 7 months pregnant now, he has contacted me and blammed me for why we broke up again. He said i would argue with him too much. My response to him was, Everyone argues. I tried trusting you visitng your daughter and her but you let me down. No relationship is perfect, but that did not give you the right to sleep with her. He started going on about he doesnt know why he is with her and he thinks its becuase hes scared she might not bring the baby down to see him. That he wants to be with me but he doesnt know how too. He said he did not want to move to cali and he never did cover up my name because he had everything he needed down here. So i tried one last time to work things out with him. I asked him is he sure he wants to be with her, and he said he loves me but he couldnt answer anything right now. and just yesterday i found out from his mom that she came down with the baby and she isnt too sure if she will be living here again or if she was just visiting. (his mom cant stand this girl) so she tells me a lot. She told me, i can tell he still cares about you. He is just confused. She even said that he doesnt think he will be happy with her that he was always happy with me. But it was my decesion weather i wanted to wait for him or just move on.
We have been broken off for a month now and i miss him so much. I feel like its just a cycle. I feel like he is eventually going to try and work things out with me again since we are always on and off but i could never be too sure. There is this part of me that just says let him be and move on but then again this is what i always wanted with him. For us to have a future together and have a family and soon get married. At least thats what we have always talked about. Im just so tired of gettin hurt ! I just dont want him trying to come back all of a sudden again when our son is born too !
I guess my questions are.. What do you think is going through his head? Do you think he is really over me? or is this real love? and if he did come back should i give him another chance? In the back of my mind I think in order for him to stop playing games with me, i have to move on. But if i move and if he does notice that i finally stop callin him. He might catch on and call and tell me things to make me more confused. I wouldnt want to answer any calls or txts even if its about the baby, just to help me move on. But, would that make me look like the bad person? I dont want to keep his son away from him but i really just feel like its best if i do not take any calls or txts from him at all. I was just thinking of letting him know after the baby is born. What do you guys think?