Charged with kidnapping?

April - posted on 10/23/2009 ( 18 moms have responded )

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The father of my child is threatening to have me charged with kidnapping my own daughter. He is not on the birth certificate, has never given me a dime (she is almost 3 and has no clue who he is), and legally has no rights to her. We have never gone to court for any child support mainly because I didn't want him to see her since he was doing drugs. She knows my fiance as her daddy and he loves her like his own. Can he get me charged with this? He asks me to see her and I ask him for money first. He never gives me any so I don't let him see her. He just recently started asking me to see her after he got married to a woman who is 15 years older than him. Someone please help!

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18 Comments

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FoxyMom - posted on 01/15/2013

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If he's not on the BC then how can he get you for kidnapping? He would have to file papers, get a court ordered DNA test and so on then he is liable for back child support for up to 3 years.

Faye - posted on 11/14/2012

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Cops will not get involved once there is a court order that you and he have agreed with. My aunt's grandkids live with her and her son. Their mom has visitation but because there is a court order on her visits, then the cops will not get involved. They will only get involved IF she does not return them on the correct day and time.

Ashley - posted on 11/14/2012

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First of all, you should not keep her from him just because the money. Second, since he wants to be in her life now you should set up times for him to have supervised visitation as long as he is clean. He cannot get you for kidnapping. There are no court orders, no dna, and he is not on the birth certificate...therefore he has no rights. But you should let it be known your a single mom and he gasnt been around and you should get an attorney for custody. They will have to do dna since you werent married and he didnt sign birth certificate. If you were married he is on it abd has just as much rights as you do until court ordered differantly. Since he was out of the picture so long, you should have got him for ababdinment and taken his rights, but since he has crecently contacted you, you wont be able to until there is no contact for a certain period of time. Im about to get my babys sperm donor for abandonment abd tame his rights and then my fiance, the only dad he has known is adoptibg him. Just dont let him take your daughtet unsupervised because I know where I live, whether they are on the birth certificate or not, if you have ever told them they are the dad and they have acknowleged it, then the cops will not make them give your kid back, you will have to get a lawyer and go to court. Good luck.

Kelly - posted on 11/02/2012

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no he cannot if you do not have a court order regarding custody. If you don't have a court order all rights to the child go to you.

Faye - posted on 02/07/2012

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Child support and visitions are two different areas of the court system.



Be careful. IF he paid for the parentity test and is then proven to be the father (you know he is but...), he will be granted visits. The next step for the courts will be to order him to pay child support.



The reason I said be careful was that once parentity has been established, you can not withhold the child from the visits with the father just because he does not pay child support.

April - posted on 10/29/2009

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I have saved all the text messages he sent me that day. I haven't heard from him since then so I doubt he will do anything but still. It pisses me of that he calls every few weeks or months, asks to see her, I ask him for money, then don't hear from him again for weeks or months.

Cheryl - posted on 10/29/2009

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DEPENDING ON THE STATE YOU LIVE IN? THERE IS NO PAPER TRAIL WITH HIM NOT BEING ON THE BIRTH CERT HOWEVER I WOULD GO TO COURT AND FILE FOR EMERGENCY TEMP CUSTODY ORDER JUST IN CASE IN THE STATE OF COLORADO IF THERE IS NOT CUSTODY ORDER IN PLACE HE COULD TAKE THE CHILD AND YOU WOULD HAVE TO FIGHT HIM IN COURT TO GET YOUR BABY BACK HOWEVER WITH NO NAME ON BIRTH CERT I DONT THINK HE CAN DO THAT I WOULD JUST START A LOG OF ALL THREATS MADE FROM HIM AND ANYTHING YOU CAN THINK OF THAT WOULD PUT YOUR CHILD IN HARMS WAY IF THE CHILD WAS WITH HIM

Bekki - posted on 10/26/2009

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I went through this with my ex.. eventually i had him put on the birth certificate but.. until that point my lawyer and a judge agreed he had no legal rights to the child at all.

Bekki - posted on 10/26/2009

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If he is not on the birth certificate he doesn't legally exist and has no rights to the child what so ever.

Without that name on the birth certificate you are sole parent sole decision maker and the only one with any right to have your child .

FayAnne - posted on 10/26/2009

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He would have to establish paternity. Then after he does that he would possibly have rights to his child if court decides to give him visitation. but being that he hasn't established paternity i do not believe you could be charged with anything. i would still consult a lawyer though

Becky - posted on 10/26/2009

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i wouldnt worry to much about him but i would be talking to a lawyer and have his rights taken!! if he wants to see her id make him pay!! he is probally doing it to be a "good daddy" in his new flings eyes? maybe it will pass who knows some men are stupid!! good luck!!

Frances - posted on 10/26/2009

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Who you need to take to is a lawyer. Go have a free consultation. The laws are different in each state. In Tennessee where I used to live, I had full custody his name was on the certificate and we were never married he had NO RIGHT. I didn't know this till it was too late go find out.

April - posted on 10/26/2009

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Thanks ladies. I haven't heard form him or his supposed lawyer since friday. I want him to make the first move if he really wants to see her. I won't be taking him to court for child support, he will have to take me for visitation, which I highly doubt he will. I will definitely check on the whole, my fiance adopting her thing because he really does love her like his own so I'm sure he would be glad to.

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Best thing to do is contact an attorney, because laws vary state by state. One mom previously said something about adoption after six months, but in Alabama it is a year. I would not think he has any rights, since he is not on the birth certificate. Try to find an attorney who will talk to you and let you know your options.

Meikjn - posted on 10/23/2009

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keep that guy away. and the no money no visitation is a smart policy. if he is unsafe, and unreliable no one will blame you. this would be a custody battle (and under the cisrcomstaces things appear to be stacked in your favor) not a kidnapping battle. if he wants to take you to court let him. it will probably end in his wages being garnished. if he had no interest untill now, and is still not paying child support, you have no obligation to him you can move on with your life, and ifand when he starts acting like a resposible sperm donor and helps out a bit then he can expect more.

Cheri - posted on 10/23/2009

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I wouldnt worry. First he would have to pay to get a paternity test, then pay to file papers for visitation (which he probably wouldnt get anyways). By law in Ohio, unless you were married and hes on the bc, he has no rights. I have a situation that relates to yours. My daughters father is on the birth certificate. He hasnt seen her since she was 3 months old and she is almost 3. He has only attempted to see her twice since we legally set up supervised visitations. He threatened my husband to take her off of us. By law, even though he pays child support and is on the bc...he cant do anything. Six months after you get married your fiance will be able to legally adopt your daughter and it will be easy for you since there is no signature on the bc, unless he files for paternity but if he wont even give you money to help take care of her, i highly doubt he'll even do that.

Sarah Chase - posted on 10/23/2009

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Get a lawyer..I really do not see how he would have any legal rights to your child, since he is not on the birth certificate...Most lawyers provide free consultation! Sounds like he is just trying to be a jerk to me, since you are happy and moving on with your life..Keep your head up girl! Besides, what proof does he have?

LeeAnn - posted on 10/23/2009

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It sounds like you are in a bit of a sticky situation. I would advise you to talk to someone in your local WIC office, or DHHS office, they may be able to direct you to whom you need to be speaking with. As far as can he charge you with kidnapping, I am going to venture to say not. If he isn't on the Birth Certificate, and she doesn't know him at all, then by law I don't think he has any rights to her. I am not a lawyer, or a cop, or anything like that, so please don't take me literally. I do think that if he wanted to have something to do with your daughter, then he should have manned up and helped you out, regardless of the outcome of the relationship. Congrats to you for keeping an unsafe person from being in contact with your child, and for finding a guy who loves you and her like his own. Hope it all works out well for you!

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