confused mommy...

Jessica - posted on 03/20/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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so its my ex's weekend with our daughter, he asked me to go with her because he wanted to see me, and talk. so we did. he wants to work full time next year . he also said that he's done the college thing for the past year, while ive been living up in the country and that he's really missed having us around, being a full time dad and being with me. We've been on and off since we were 15 years old. best friends in highschool. i really do love him, and i feel safe when im with him, now that we've worked out alot of the bullsh!t between us. i want us to be a family, but i still just dont know if i want to take that step again! help?

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Jessica - posted on 03/21/2010

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all your comments are very helpful thank you. the thing is, we have a very good relationship and friendship, weve been friends since we were 14. started dating at 15... dated again at 16 & 17... we graduated highschool in 07 and we wernt on speaking terms at the time. about a year later when he was 18 and i was 19 we got pregnant (and we wernt in a relationship, only fooling around for about 3 months) so we tried forcing a relationship which i bet is the root of some issues.

we do all the things that everyone has listed, we go on dates without our daughter, we spend time together playing with our daughter, getting along perfectly.... its just as soon as theres a label on the relationship, we start to fight. and when we fight, we have about zilch communication between us for about 2 weeks at a time. i have alot of abandonment issues because he left me when i was 20 weeks pregnant and didnt start coming around until our daughter was 3 months old. our daughter is almost 14 months old now and hes a spectacular father. i love him, very much, i always have and i always will. throughout my adolesence (with the exception of when he left me) he's always been the person i turn to when things are bad. and ive been the same comfort for him.

our friends call us "an epic love story" because no matter what, we always end up going back to eachother.

Courtney - posted on 03/21/2010

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My advice would be to take it slow. Go on dates (without your daughter) so that the two of you can connect again. The best thing you can do is go back to being best friends again. And depending on your daughter's age, it may be difficult for her to adjust again if it doesn't work out between you so the less she sees the two of you together, probably the better, unless she is old enough for you to explain it to. Good luck with everything.

Sarah - posted on 03/20/2010

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I would take things slow, you'll be the only person to determine if it's right.. Yeah it might be good for your daughter but you need to know for sure if this is what you want. And another thing you never know what will be unless you try it, giving him another chance might just be the right thing to do. Just make sure that you both communicate and fully understand each other, communication is a must, it won't work if it's not there. You know what's right in your heart, follow it. Good luck always!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jen - posted on 03/20/2010

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Start off slow. Go on some dates while still living separately. If it seems to be working out, then go from there. Continue to do what you normally do with your daughter so that she won't get confused. If she's old enough you may be able to explain to her that you and daddy and trying to be better friends. Go on some family outings after you know that you can all get along together. Testing the waters won't hurt any, but if you notice that it's just not working out then continue to get along as friends for your daughter's sake.

Lisa - posted on 03/20/2010

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well why dont u try it again with him and see how it works out.but try it on your terms and slowly if need be,if the two of u are talking openly now he will understand your feeling on wanting it on ur terms and slowly.you need to be sure that it is the right thing not just for u but for your daughter as well. good luck : )

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