cry-it-out

S. - posted on 05/22/2012

I'm doing it now, I didn't want to but I'm at the end of my tether I am willing to do anything now. My youngest is 19 months old and has never slept the whole night, she wouldn't go to bed and would wake Troughout the night.
I have gotten to the point were she goes to bed on her own now it took about 4 lonnnnngg nights. now were just battling the nights, we started last night, I'v bought a gate for her door so she can't get in my bed (I didn't want to put a gate on her room but I have to stop her sneaking in my bed when I'm shatterd) if she wakes I just go back in the dark and guide her back to her bed without talking to her and I sit by her door till she's goes back to bed, she got up twice last night and she woke up in the morning in her bed for a change. I have been told at this age it should take between 5-7 days I'm willing to stick with it and right now feel positive............ Wonder how I will feel by day 6 lol.

Colleen - posted on 05/22/2012

I totally agree! Everyone's situation and babies are all different. I also can't take the crying, it bothers us so much. So, we will keep trying. But, if she cries too long she will most likely be sleeping with us that night!

Colleen - posted on 05/22/2012

Thank you Kimi. I am finishing my special education degree and my husband teaches, and also works at night. So, when he's home it's all of us in a routine. Or, just me and Kaylee. We co-slept for a while, but it was getting to the point where we all were not getting enough sleep. So, we started putting her in the crib. It just seems like she has to want to go in, to fall asleep. It always depends on her mood, if we will be up half the night or, she will go to sleep. The thing is, I know eventually we will get in to a better routine when she's a little older. (I hope so anyway!)

Colleen - posted on 05/22/2012

We usually cuddle with her in bed and read a story. Sometimes, it's on the couch. There are some nights I put her down and she goes right to sleep. But, mostly she will cry from 5-20 minutes before falling asleep. She always has soft music playing and her favorite blanket in the crib. I think she has sepration anxiety.We did the method where we put her down then night 1 it was every 5 minutes we would go in until she fell asleep. Night 2 every 10 minutes. Night 3 every 15. It seemed to work. However, now it just seems like she has to be asleep for us to put her down. I hope this is just a phase!

Melissa - posted on 05/22/2012

We tried that with my 2 1/2 year old when he was a baby I think around 6 months and he would just cry for HOURS I only did it a few nights and just couldn't handle it. I would even try putting him in his crib after he fell asleep and as soon as he hit the mattress he would start crying and cry for hours. So we just co-slept and at 2 1/2 he is still in my bed... We recently tried getting him in his own bed again and he just cries and cries, the only way to get him to go to sleep in his bed is if I lay down with him and even then he's usually up and in my bed within an hour of me leaving his. BUT my 3 month old will only sleep in her crib. She gets incredibly fussy and fidgety when she's tired but not in her crib, even if it's a pack and play or swing or my bed, she only wants her crib, when she's tired and I lay her in her crib she smiles and goes right to sleep. I'm learning with 2 now that every kid really is different and you just have to find what will work for your kids and you and your husband

Jess - posted on 05/22/2012

We tried the crying out method. And my son cried non stop for hours. We tried it for 2 days and gave up , it just wasn't worth putting him through that. We then tried to wait till he was tired then put him to bed. I sort of worked, he only cried for about an hour. But after several weeks of this it got more exhausting on me, and I grew tired of always doing it. When ever my husband would put our son to bed he would let him lay with him in our bed till he fell asleep and then moved him to his bed, so it made things more difficult on me and counter acted my method. We eventually gave up on that too and let him sleep with us. Which he has done pretty much since birth, since I nursed him. My son is 22 months now and as of a few weeks ago he started sleeping in his bed, which is in our room just at the end of our bed. He sleeps through the night. We do have one of those light up fish tank things that play music that goes on the side of his bed, he turns it on by a button and will turn off on its own after about 10 mins. Only twice has he gotten up in the middle of the night and crawled into ours. When we get ready for bed he gets his milk, snuggles with us on our bed for a half hour or so. Then we say its night, night time and he gets up hands me his empty milk sippy and crawls into his bed. Many people don't agree with co-sleeping but it works for us. And we have obviously raised an independent kids because he now goes to bed on his own. Personally I believe that some kids do need to be parented to sleep. Some kids just have a harder time with it than others. And I believe in doing what ever it takes to get me and everyone the most sleep. If that meant my kid slept with me for a year so I didn't need to wake up to him screaming then so be it. I got to sleep.

Kelina - posted on 05/21/2012

How long does she cry? My daughter still occasionally cries at bedtime but never for very long and she's 18 months now. Actually we're talking the 10 seconds it takes for me to walk down the hall, if that. After the first week it petered out down to that. What's your bedtime routine like for her? One thing we did was have a well established bedtime routine, so she gets some cuddle time with mommy and daddy and then has to go to bed. It worked with both my kids. The crying does eventually end, it really depends on how long she is crying for. If it's been this long and she's still crying for upwards of five minutes you might want to try something else. Just out of curiosity which CIO method did you use?

Tina - posted on 05/20/2012

Makes me feel better I have a tv in my kids room. They watch dinosaur train it's fun and education and makes bedtime less of a chore and I turn the tv off once they're asleep or put the timer on. I have a cut off time for drinks so I'm not having to have to change them again then go through settling again. I do find the tv serves well as a night light that way when my son or daughter wake up during the night they're not freaking out cause it's dark and trying to find their barings. If my kids have anything sweet like juice or anything it's early in the day. If they have a nap definately no sweets after that. They have some milk a around 8:30 by nine thirty they have there last nappy change for the night and it's bedtime and lights off.

Kimi - posted on 05/20/2012

I agree with both of these women, sometimes crying it out isn't the best method. It does definitely sound like you all three need to get into a routine. For example here is the schedule my family goes through everyday (Mind you I have 3 other adults in the house that help because we live with my parents so this routine may not help you directly but it will give you an idea of a routine you can come up with for your family)

5 am : Mommy is up and headed to work
6 am : Nana wakes the kids up gets them around and drops them off at daycare on her way to work
7ish am to 3ish pm: kids are at daycare
3ish pm to 6:30ish: Mommy and kids get to spend the afternoon together. (Playing outside, learning, etc.)
7:30 pm: BATH TIME (Personally my favorite time of day) Since my son is older now he can take a bath by himself, my daughter and I spend this time as one on one time.
8 pm: Outta the tub, and we read, play games, or do something relaxing. Something to calm them down.
9 pm: Bedtime (My kids each have a t.v. in their room and get a movie at bedtime. Some parents do look down on this but as I see it, I put educational movies in that they go to sleep to. Plus the t.v. serves as a night light) I am also a firm believer in no juice/milk in bed with my kids. I have never given them a sippy or bottle to go to sleep in their crib/bed with them, I am not the most over protective mother but there is to much risk in this even for me.

In conclusion find a routine that works for you, your husband and your daughter. Everyone leads a different life so everyones schedule is different. Hope this more in depth schedule is helpful.

Kimi

Stifler's - posted on 05/20/2012

It sounds like t's just not working. I found with my kids the routine is what makes them go to bed quickly and quietly. Playing, dinner, bath, stories, cuddles, bed. No mucking around stirring them up and dinner and bed at the same time every day (roughly).

Tina - posted on 05/20/2012

I think it has the opposite outcome of what you're trying to acheive. They get worked up and stressed. My children have learnt how to comfort themselves from me. They have their favourite blanket and toy to comfort them. There toys play calming music for about 10-q15 minutes. I also rub their forhead to calm them. Now my son does just that to relax.