dads dont want da babes they made

Rhonda - posted on 07/09/2009 ( 19 moms have responded )

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mi babes dads dont want em. they neva cum over and they neva pay monies.
wat should i do. i want mi kids 2 have dads but every time i give mi man a babe he runs

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Amie - posted on 07/09/2009

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I'd suggest you stop having babies with so many different men then. It's obviously not working to keep them around and they obviously don't view it as a good thing.

Devon - posted on 07/13/2009

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First off, you need to stop having baby's because it's obviously not working out. you need to focus on your children and getting yourself educated so you can get a good job to pay for them. i would take them to court for child support and maybe custody as well. don't worry so much about men, worry about your children and how you are going to feed them, clothe them, keep a roof over there heads. do what is right for your children and raise them in a healthy way. Please, stop having children!!!! good luck:)

Felicia Neikolle - posted on 07/10/2009

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I'm going to go a completely different route with my advice for you. I have an almost nine yr old and a seven yr old who have the same dad and I was married to him ... unfortunately, age isn't always the factor. Some guys are SO in love with the IDEA of being a dad but when it comes down to the actual doing it ... they run. That's what happened to me. Sometimes we don't have a way of knowing the guy is like that until you're already in the position to be a single mom. Here's my advice for you ... STOP LOOKING. Seriously, I took two years "off" from men/boys ... I only hung out with guys and didn't sleep with anyone (face it there are toys that can take care of you). I got in touch with MY desires/dreams/goals in life and REFUSED to sacrifice them for anything. So many people say that focusing on your kids is the way to do it but for some of us that doesn't work. I love being a mom, but focusing on them just kept reminding me how their dad got to be happy out there living life however he wanted while I dried all the tears and bandaged all the hurts. This drug me down and I needed to be able to be productive and strong for them. While I wasn't looking, the right MAN found me. That's the way it should be. He should be looking for you ... because when you go looking for him you'll settle for all of the wrong ones b/c your emotions are leading you rather than reality. Take a look at the fathers of your children and really evaluate whether or not they are what is best for your babies. Mine's father is not. And now they have a man who they call daddy and loves them and takes care of them and is the daddy they need. We as mothers always want the dads to want to be a part of the kids' lives but it's not always what is best for the kids. Hope this helps and contact me anytime you may need something.

Jenna - posted on 07/10/2009

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How old are you? The men you are with are very bad for you. You need to stand up for yourself and be a mother not a sex toy. If this is a problem for you, and I'm not saying anything bad about you just trying to give advice, I would suggest seeing a counselor.

I want my kids to have constant contact with their father as well, but if he/they is rejecting you then just stay away from him/them! Seriously girl! Get OUT! If you cant support your kids by yourself, you need to find a way to do so. A State Child Support Office is always there to help, but hun you had the kids, you are their mother, and you need to support them by yourself.

Stop seeing KIDS. Look for a man that has a goal in life, that wants you because he loves you, and don't just jump in the sack with him right away. Find out what your standards are before pursuing any other men. What your children see you do is what they will grow up thinking is right. You are their biggest role model. Please hun!!!! Be a good mother for your children! It doesn't matter what you did in the past, show them what the future can be like. Live for your children because they are now your life!

Hope you find your way,
~Mady

Michelle - posted on 07/10/2009

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Yeah your really not helping yourself by sleeping with them. I hope to God you are using protection. Theese boys are having there cake and eating it, they have no respect for you because you have no respect for yourself.

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Deserie - posted on 07/13/2009

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Well first if they're not responsibile enough to be a part of their kids lives then to hell with giving them a children for any amt of time. your children are worth too much to just hand over to some half ass don't really want nothing to do with them moron...that's just from a safety standpoint. now from a money standpoint i don't know where you live but I know it isn't getting any cheaper to get by and with multiple children ypu gotta be feeling it. these father's need to help support the children they helped make weather they like it or not. for the fathers 17 and up...take em to court and get child support. it might be peanuts but it helps and it's more then what it sounds like they're doing now. for the 16 year old well dependent on state age requirements you may have to go through their parents. I think you should move on without these guys, if your still seeing them to sleep w/them then thats the only reason they're around at all....so why do you have to satisfy them in order to get them to see they're kids? it isn't your responsability to fix they're relationship with they're kids, it is however your responsibility to make sure your kids happy, healthy and taken care of and messing around with these morons is simply wasting time. karma comes around in the end, the children will grow and see these men for what they are. I agree with the response that said you should stop trying to make these guys see the errors in their ways and focus alittle more on you. it's your life and in turn it will lead to the life you make for your kids. get yourself together and set standards for yourself. you and your children deserve better.

Mandy - posted on 07/13/2009

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Quoting Michelle:

Yeah id stop having so many babies. This is exactly why you should be in a stable relationship before deciding to have children, I did notice tho on your profile you say one of your intrests is havind sex with your babies Dad, so do you still have sex with them all or just one of them?



Although i agree with you Michelle that people should decide to have children once they are in a stable relationship. I would just like to make the point that in an ideal world we would do this. But sometimes contraception isn't effective and so pregnacies are not planned. I am a single mum and had not planned to fall pregnant, but contraception failed (condom and implant). Also i was in what i thought was a loving and stable relationship with my sons father when i fell pregnant. But he showed his true colours and became violent. Life is never as black and white as only thoose in stable relationship should plan preg.



 



Considering ho young rhonda is (16) i would suggest that maybe she hadn't planned all the pregs

Danielle - posted on 07/11/2009

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don't worry mate i'm going through the same thing. i have a 19 month old daughter and her dad hasn't had much to do with her. i'm due to give birth to my 2nd in september this year and coz he belted me 4 months ago he's now going to jail on the 16th of august

Carrie - posted on 07/11/2009

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i don't know what to say, my husband don't give me no money i pay for everything cause he has no job, and he's the babies father, he's shit round the house too which is why i've PND, i'm nakard! i can't wait to get back to uni in sept to complete my nursing diploma then my husband will finally see what it's like to be a father. he said to me the other day isn't it enough that i'm just here. i was like hell no i feel like i'm looking after two kids and a teenager. so in a way your better off without them being around you, eating your food using your electric lol. but yeah money off them would be helpfull in your situation but they can't give money if they got no jobs.

Emma - posted on 07/10/2009

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All I can say is take them to court and just enjoy your children whilst they are young

Mandi - posted on 07/10/2009

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I am sorry i have to say this. this mom is asking for a little help and all of you are saying stop having babies , keep your legs closed. We are all moms and have made a few mistakes in life. Dont look down on her for wanting them to be there
Yes she should have safe sex but that is her choice.
My advice for you is to look after your kids and make sure they have what they need and thats all you can do

[deleted account]

Ummm...I couldn't help but notice that on your profile you have "Sexu wit da babe dad" (which I can only assume means having sex with the childrens' father(s)) listed under your interests. If these guys want nothing to do with your kids, why are you still sleeping with him/them?

Katrina - posted on 07/10/2009

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i agree with Michelle, stop having babies to so many guys, its not fair on the kids! If the dads dont want anything to do with them well that's their fault and own choice.....! You just enjoy your kiddies and get on with life without them!!

Amy - posted on 07/10/2009

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I think that the best thing for you to do is focus on your children. Get a good education so that you don't have to be so dependent on Men that aren't willing to step up to the plate. Children are so impressionable, and have a tendency to mold their lives after their parents. It's time for you to start leading by example, so your children don't find themselves in the same predicament that you are in. A Baby is not a gift that you give someone so that they stick around. Having children is life changing, and by the sound of it you don't have the means to support these changes. Please take my advice, and stop having Babies until you are in a commited monogomous relationship! Sleeping with the fathers is a BAD idea- Why buy the cow if they can get the milk for free? You need to grow up, and be the strong woman that I know you are! Anyone that has given birth to 4 beautiful babies has the power to change. You can do it, Rhonda! Take the first step and go back to school, and kick those deadbeat Dads to the curb!

Michelle - posted on 07/10/2009

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Yeah id stop having so many babies. This is exactly why you should be in a stable relationship before deciding to have children, I did notice tho on your profile you say one of your intrests is havind sex with your babies Dad, so do you still have sex with them all or just one of them?

Amy - posted on 07/09/2009

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your right age shouldnt matter but unfortantly it is a big part of it...it takes two to tangle but sometimes you have to use good judgement on good fathers for your children, although i made a wrong decision and had me first when i was 17 to a 21 yr old he has never done a thing for him. the best thing you can do is realize they probably wont ever come around and be the best mommy you can be to your little ones. bottom line 16-21 yr are just boys them selfs and arent ready and have no clue what it is to be a father...there not done being young yet...and although yu may not be either you have to be there in everyways for them, because....well, who else will?? right?? dont worry try to stay strong and have patients you will have your time once they are grown it comes too soon believe me :)

Rhonda - posted on 07/09/2009

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Quoting Crystal:

How old are the dads?


17,20, 21 and 16 but dat shuldnt mater case if ur gonna make a babe u shuld vicit i and give da monies to da mum

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