Day Care or Family?

Kiera - posted on 12/13/2010

can u do both 3 days day care and 2 with family then u can hav the best of both worlds once everyone is inrouitine it will child will flow from to another just fine there is so much ur child can get out of both sides

Erinna - posted on 12/13/2010

In response to katrinas post. I looked into both family daycare and childcare centers. The child to carer ratio (in australia) is less for infants in childcare centres than in FDC. This ratio is increased as the child gets older until the age of five when they go to school. So they gradually get used to having less intensive care. Not suddenly go to school and have to share their teacher with up to 29 other children. This makes sense to me. And the expense is roughly the same here, so depends where in the world you live.

Erinna - posted on 12/13/2010

Depends on the daycare depends on the family. If you have family who are happy and capable to look after your little one regularly, thats great. If you go daycare research really well, check the place out and ask lots of questions. my son is two and going to daycare two days a week, I don't have family available. But he loves it asking to go to kindy every day, interaction with other children and other adults is great. They have a great early learning program, and his development has come along in leaps and bounds since he started. I think a bit of both would be good if possible. Hope this helps.

Angie - posted on 12/11/2010

This one is tough and really is a subjective answer b/c it depends on the person. I currently take my son to a home daycare where it's one woman watching my kid every single day and the same 7 kids with my son every single day. I preferred that to a facility-type daycare because the staff and kids rotate more frequently. Family is a great option if it's available to you. Either way your child will be in great hands as long as you find the daycare that works for you and your needs. I'd suggest interviewing a bunch of providers before settling on one if you go the daycare route. Good luck!!!

Jolene - posted on 12/11/2010

i think a bit of both is good. day care so they can interact and become social and relitives to save some money

Rachael - posted on 12/10/2010

i think it depends on your family. i can't leave my son with mine for safety reasons, although it would be cheaper. my son goes to daycare and loves it. he gets to interact with other kids and adults and so he is less shy and they do arts and music and stuff with them which is nice. if you find a good daycare and afford it, i would consider splitting between family care and daycare so that he can get the best of what each has to offer

Renyel - posted on 12/10/2010

When we had to leave our 6-mo old with my husband's mom Mon-Fri I noticed a "bratty" behavior develop when he was with us, especially if she was at our house. I know she loves him to death but the woman doesn't know the word "no" and coddles him way to much. We got him into daycare 3-days a week and she watched him 2-days a week. This saved on the daycare bill and still allowed her time with him. And his "spoiled-like" behavior reduced a lot within a month. He just started daycare full time this month and I truly think this is best since he is an only child and needs to develop social skills and what behavavior is and isn't exceptable. But do your research, ask around, get referrals and check the place out! "Learning Centers" are the best I think...they're like mini-schools for your toddler. :)

Ashley - posted on 12/09/2010

I have my kids in daycare and its great. You must find a good daycare, one that you are very comfortable with. Make an unexpected visit once or twice to see how they keep things: neat and clean or nasty and dirty. Daycare teaches them so much that parents cant always teach them and the first thing is socialization and its very important for growing and learning. My kids love daycare. They teach them all kinds of things. I would much rather my kids go to a daycare than have family watch them just because the daycare i take my kids is so much like school and it teaches them so much.

Laura Zoey - posted on 12/09/2010

I'm so selfish! I'd never be happy about my kids snuggling with daycare workers! I want them bonded to me, daddy, and our close relatives only! Even so I wouldn't be happy if Eric likes grandma as much as me!
I think it's great to have people who love your kid watch them, but my heart hates seeing Eric bonding with others!
I adore it how he doesn't let people hold him! So sweet he just wants me or daddy, grandma is a close third now and that's ok, but I still need to see he prefers me.
If you can't be selfish with the child you created, grew, birthed, fed, etc then when can you :)

Ashley - posted on 12/09/2010

i personally would say daycare. both of my children have been in daycare since july and they love it!. when we walk in in the mornings they run to their teachers. arms out and giggling. I do not trust at home daycares as i have heard many bad stories. Children not being fed, too many children, too many children die from baby shaken syndrome from at home daycares. The centre i take my children to have their food posted on a weekly basis, they have their naps posted, they have their potty times posted plus they write about their day on individual papers so parents can read what their child has done that day. we get subsidized by the government so i only pay about 100 for both children a month to go. all of the providers have their diplomas posted on the wall when you walk in. My children get TONS of snuggles from all of them. When i drop them off their being snuggled and when i pick them up their being snuggled. I would not have it any other way

Darci - posted on 12/09/2010

I think if you have family available that you can depend on to watch your child then it is way way better then day care. Yeah day care they get some social interaction with other kids but they constantly come home sick and they learn other kids bad habits like hitting and stuff. My mom is a school teacher and has taught for about 14 years and says most of the problem causing kids in the class are the kids that had or have day care. Thats what she has noticed anyway. But if that is your only option then you have to do what you have to do. But if you can afford day care and have no family have you considered a nanny maybe. I nannied for a while and loved it. The mom felt comfortable leaving her baby with me and the baby loved it. She got to be in her own environment and we went to the park and did fun stuff. she got one on one attention. I think a nanny would be a good option if you don't have family to watch the baby. So thats what I think.

ChrisTina - posted on 12/08/2010

I would have to agree with Family! You can count of them to look after your babys threw hell fire and back. When strangers wont. Its just another paycheck for most day cares. I want my child to be happy and with people he knows and loves. He has other kids his age at my sisters houses, so he gets plenty of interaction with others. Its healthy and fun. Stick with family!

Jaime - posted on 12/07/2010

Personally, I'll be having family watch our daughter when we need them to. Hopefully, I can be a stay-at-home mom so that we won't have to worry about it, but if needed we will have family watch her. I don't really like the idea of day care because I feel like, the kids who go there have parents who might not discipline their children, and so they bring the bad behavior to the day care. I don't want my Julie coming home one day acting like a wild animal because that was how the kids at day care acted.

Plus, I don't live where there are any certified day cares and would just rather keep her with me.

Of course, the pros to day care are that your child gets to spend time with other children, gets used to the idea that you won't be there all the time, and if you go to the right place it's like preschool.

But, personally, I'd rather just take my baby to the park for socialization. It'd be better for her than to be cooped up in a building with a bunch of snotty kids, haha. Also, family is free. Day care is not.

Denise - posted on 12/07/2010

Thanks to everyone that replied back. My hubby and I worked out our school schedule where she wont be without one of us for too long. Those were all great ideas when we do find it hard to work our school schedule I will be thinking of all the ideas you moms gave me. Thanks again!!

Cassandra - posted on 12/02/2010

Im full time in college and i usually have to work out classes with my husband cause he also goes to school. so we plan on who going to go to school what days. i would rather have my child be watched by family than daycare.

Tiffany - posted on 12/01/2010

There are pros and cons to both. Having the child in daycare helps them to interact with other children which is great, especially if you're not going to have time to do play groups right now. As for family, if you choose someone I would make sure they are on board with how YOU want your child raised, fed, disciplined, etc. A lot of times with family they think they can do what they want because they are family. As long as you have open communication with whomever is caring for your child, either choice is good. Or even a mix of the two. It might be good to have a family member watch your child 3 days out of the week and send the child to daycare the other 2 to get interaction. Definitely go and check out the daycare and their credentials. Even stay for awhile to see how they interact with the children. Good luck to you!

Laura Zoey - posted on 12/01/2010

I think family is a better choice if you have a willing person who lives near by and is good with your kid.
But a daycare might work best so you are able to give more firm directions to the workers without getting into family debates!
Best situation is always mom or dad stay with the kids, but if thats impossible, it's a tough situation.

Joy - posted on 12/01/2010

It looks like most of the issues are covered but wanted to add a couple things- first it is very hard to tell a family member you want them to do things a certain way and be ready for them to say ok but never actually do it, also if you use family they are less likely to watch your child when you want a night out cause they have been watching your child all week and want a break themselves so if you use a grandparent your child may miss out on the spoiling factor since the grandparent also has to keep them in control during the day. On the flip side family can be more flexible if you need them to watch your child for longer than normal and you know your family and know your child will be safe with them. At least these are my experiences of using my mom for daycare for my 2 boys- 3yrs & 1 yr.

Carly - posted on 12/01/2010

OK I work at a childcare centre and my 2 year old goes to a family day care mum, hes been there a year bow. I have no problem with either, It all depends on your preference, there are pros and cons with both. you need to consider alot of different thing and then choose which one suits you the best.



Fees - You pay for a whole day at a childcare centre but you only pay for the hours used at a day care family... in saying that though the hours a childcare centre is open works better with alot of working families (ours is open 6.30am-6pm where my family daycare doesnt start before 7.30am and will only take him to 6.15 at night on occasion if im put on a close shift at night)



Also make sure you interview them properly, as i know of some mums that have had bad experiences with family day care mums and some with centres. There are usually more children per carer in a childcare centre ( for toddlers the ratio is 1:5) wher as in family daycare its differernt deoending on theb ages of the children, and the ages of their own children.



Also at a childcare centre if a carer is sick there is someone to cover them, at a family daycare they will organise a suitable replacement for them, which usually means at another family day care mums house.



I love family daycare because it a home environement, they go to the park, on excursions to playgroups 2 time a week etc, but I also love the flexibility and consistacy of a centre

Elise - posted on 11/30/2010

As a former childcare worker I think daycare is great for children to improve there social skills and learn to interact with other children and carers. If possible try putting your child in care a couple of days a week and the rest with family, that way it wont end up as expensive either. If possible also I would look into family based day care where they are looked after in someones home with only 3 - 5 other children :)

Meghan Rose - posted on 11/30/2010

Honestly, I am going to go through the same thing soon. But, I would do both. Some days with the family and other days with day care because day care would help with the babys' social skills with other kids and then they can get a break from other kids and hang out with the family other days.

Ebony - posted on 11/30/2010

I have two children and both have been in daycare since there were six weeks old. My son started at an in-home daycare and it was absolutely wonderful. He was able to interact with other kids while getting that one on one attention I thought he needed. My daughter has been in a centers her whole time. And she has been doing great, she learned to crawl pretty fast and I believe she will be walking at 10 months. I do agree with other post that it is expensive but most of the time you get what you pay for, qualified child care professionals who are responsible for your child while you are away. I love my family but I like having my children in day care. I think they are more social because of it. Good Luck with your discussion.

Christine - posted on 11/30/2010

There are pros and cons to both and I have experienced both. we started having my husbands dad watch our son and that was good for cost and such but it all depends of the family member. He decided after a couple months that it tied him down too much having to watch him (even though he was only watching our son every second week) and he was too afraid to tell us that he didn't want to do it anymore so he made up a reason to get mad at my husband so that he could blurt it out. So you have to be sure that you can trust your family members and that you are prepared to deal with any hostility that may arise.
Daycare is expensive but I loved that my son was getting the interaction with the other children. We were lucky cuz my daycare person was in a private home. She was very flexible and only charged for the time he was there.
I am currently unemployed and therefore am staying home with my son right now but I would send him back to daycare in a second if I were working.

Ashley - posted on 11/30/2010

Well family is good because its quality time for the both of them, but day care is amazing because they get to interact with other people and even better other kids. They get to learn how to share, and interact with new people. Great communication skills and learning new things. I am a full time working mom and I used to be a preschool teacher. My mother in law watched my son at first and now he has ababysitter that has a other kid and he has come out of his shell!!!

Anna - posted on 11/30/2010

This is just my opinion..in the end the only thing that matters is what you think. I have worked in daycare centers many years and there seems to be good and bad from it.. Personally after working in 3 diffrent ones that teach. i would perfer family or a good friend who does in home day care.. and then try to get your child in a mommy and me class to be with other kids because it seems like people who are not your family do not have the same tolerance and love for your babys crying and needs they get over frustrated and mean. I have seen really nice people with children at day cares but lets face it if its a local daycare center there has to be one of those inpatient people working there.. If your family is willing to help and not use it against you i would say family at least until preschool then they can tell you whats going on at day care a little better. Unless your lucky and find some one you know with a good in home daycare or child care center.

Hope that helps on your decition. :))

Amanda - posted on 11/30/2010

In my personal opinion, I do not trust daycares, or really anyone else beyond -MY- immediate family with our daughter. We don't even let my husband's mom watch her at all, and she's almost 14 months old. (my MIL is slightly on the insane side...I don't trust her at all, considering everything she's put us through).

Now, that being said, I luckily have the luxury of being a stay-at-home-mommy, because I am a full time student. The hubby and I go out four times a year without her, which consists of: my birthday, our wedding anniversary, his birthday, and his company christmas party. During these times (or any other times that we need a babysitter where our responsibilities come into play and we don't have a choice but to leave her with someone), my mother watches her (given that she doesn't work the next day, or isn't on call). If my mother isn't available, we ask my brother and my grandmother if they will jointly watch her (my grandmother is over 70, and is slowly losing her memory...so someone has to be with her to help watch our daughter if she is going to be there).

Not only is this cheap, but I know for a fact that my child will be properly taken care of, given a) the way I was raised, and b) how my mom has done with her so far. I know what she eats, when she eats, what she does, when she naps, how long she naps, and any time that she gets hurt or throws a fit (neither of which have happened yet, thank goodness.)

My opinion on the interaction/learning thing as far as daycares are concerned: your child can learn/get just as much child-to-child interaction by going to play groups, the park, etc etc, as s/he can by going to day care. Not only that, but when you do choose to do playgroups etc, YOU are present and can help control situations much easier than most daycares.

(I don't mean to offend any gals out there who choose/do daycare...this is just my honest opinion.)

I hope that this helps, and that you are comfortable with any decision that you make. Good Luck!

Amanda - posted on 11/30/2010

I do inhome daycare so I watch other peoples children for a living! And I'm not going to say that I think everyone needs to take their kids to daycare! I think the social skills are necessary to build strong functionally working kids in school, but I also agree with letting families watch children if that's a possibility! If my parents were able to watch my children or my sister or my fiance's family I would more than likely let them watch them versus them going to daycare! But that's just my opinion! Not really choosing one over the other but I don't think either is bad or necessarily better.

Shekelia - posted on 11/30/2010

A family daycare not a daycare center and yes there is a difference becasue centers are larger and your child will not get great care, but a family one ther will be or might be more one on one time to help your child's growth and plus they are smaller as other have said. But most of all take you child to a place in which you and your child is comfortable with and affortable, look into child cald assiant ther eis a lot of programs for single moms or low- income families.

Kimi - posted on 11/30/2010

I'm sure if you found a really good daycare that would be fine. I know of a few. They are insanely expensive though.

Kimi - posted on 11/30/2010

A shy kid is going to be shy no matter what you do and an outgoing kid is going to be outgoing no matter what you do. How you teach your child to interact with others will determine their ability to forgive others and play nicely and fairly. It is your job as the parent to instill these values by participating in social situations not by droping your child into them and leaving.
I would recomend having a family member watch your baby if it's at all possible. A nanny would be a good idea as well.
I know I'm going to offend lots of moms with this response but I've seen first hand how daycares can have a negative impact on a young child.

Liz - posted on 11/30/2010

If you have a family member willing to watch your child I think that family would be better than day care.

Holly - posted on 11/30/2010

There are a lot of things to think about, and the best way to look at it is to make a list of pros and cons for each option.

Daycare:
Licensed? yes
CPR trained and certified? yes
Visited by health officials? yes
Required to provide healthy snacks and meals? yes
Professional, educated child care? yes
Family connection? no
Cost? higher
Understands when you're late? not usually, and some places charge extra
Socialization skills learned? yes

Really, I am more for Day Cares. I am lucky enough that my MIL runs her own home day care and she takes my kids when I need her to, but I understand that it can be a hard decision! What cinched it for me was the fact that day care providers are fully CPR trained and certified, so in case something goes horribly wrong I know they could save my child.

Laura - posted on 11/30/2010

Before I was a SAHM I had my kids in a in home day care. It was great, we knew the mom, and trusted her, they got the social interaction but also the personal attention. The only prob is if she got sick then we didn't have daycare.

Family is also great, my grandmothers watched me and my siblings and I was so glad to have that because I am/was so close to them (only one still left) and they are so important to who I am today. It is very important that they will follow how you want your children raised if they will be there everyday. My grandmother also watched other kids too so we did get the social interaction. I think either way is good but you have to think of if you can afford it.

Tah - posted on 11/30/2010

i feel like daycare can be more reliable than family, family sometimes have their own things going on and they can cancel with little or no notice and also they tend to do things their way instead of the parents. If you research the daycare i think it is a good choice..no dirty places where they keep your kid in a make shift cage all day...never had that happen i must say...

Melissa - posted on 11/30/2010

I forgot to say the upside of having family watch them is that hopefully you can trust your family to take very good care. :)

Melissa - posted on 11/30/2010

There are pros & cons of both choices. My daughters first year of life she was in a in home day care. She cried every time I dropped her off, sometimes I would pick her up she would be awake in a room in a pack & play by herself, the place was also dirty. I just didn't feel right about it so I took her out. Now she is watched by family. The downside to family is that they don't listen to anything I ask them to do with her! She is 2 1/2 not potty trained & still uses a paci because they refuse to put her on the toilet or take the paci away from her. They also feed her a diet consisting of cookies & candy. I would say if you want someone to respect your choices as a parent to put your child in daycare. I would recommend a daycare with cameras so you can watch your child online. I have friends who work in daycare and have heard horrible stories. Like if the child wets their pants they make them walk around naked to embarrass them. :( I visited a daycare with cameras but it was very expensive $250 a week. So I guess it depends on what you can afford!

Kimberly - posted on 11/30/2010

I personally think that as long as you look into the daycare first, I would go with it. Many people do have family that watch their kids and everyone I know regret doing it. After a while of watching the child, they tend to forget that your the parent. Not only that, they've also mentioned how its caused jealousy within the family. You would think that with adults they would act more appropriately but thats not always the case. When looking into daycare though you need to consider certain things like budget, openings available, staff (how many members there are and kids to know if your child could recieve the attention needed), and presentation and recommendations of the daycares being considered. If the right daycare is chosen then its a good chance for your child to socialize and interract with other children. Downfall to that is that chances of sickness can be a higher considering the other children that do come to daycare as well...I'm not saying that family watching your kid is always a bad thing though. You will have that comfort of knowing that they're ok. They'll be able to give their undivided attention whereas daycare can only split their attention between kids. Either way, its up to you. Theres always going to be a downfall to the decision you make but you just have to figure out which best suits you and your children. Good luck!!!

Amie - posted on 11/30/2010

I think a mix would be good, ur children can socialise at day care and still have family watch them the other days, im not so lucky and dont have any family living near me that would be able to look after my children so cost wise im going to stay home with them until school age.

Karen - posted on 11/30/2010

personally , i would prefer a daycare (be it a large center or a small home based one). everyone i know that has had family look after their children has come into problems where the family member was doing things differently then how mom/dad wanted them done and they found it too awkward to say anything because of it being family - didn't want to cause any hard feelings. it's much easier to voice concerns to someone who is only a business relationship

Amanda - posted on 11/30/2010

In my opinion, i would choose daycare so therefore my baby could interact with other babies in her age group (she's only 9 months, almost). And honestly i really can't stand her being with her dad's family cause they irritate me and i don't talk to my mum and my dad works 4 days a week with his own business.

Sarh - posted on 11/30/2010

Daycare is a really great experience for babies/toddlers! They need daycare for the social development along w/other developments. If baby is over a yr old/can talk then daycare will be beneficial for bubby. I refused to put my daughter in daycare before she was a yr old even though she knew sign language. My son is 5.5months old and again I refuse to put him in daycare until he is either a yr old or talking.

"Children in higher quality child care had somewhat better language and cognitive development during the first 4½ years of life than those in lower quality care. They were also somewhat more cooperative than those who experienced lower quality care during the first 3 years of life." "A 2001 report showed that children in high-quality care scored higher on tests of language, memory and other skills than did children of stay-at-home mothers or children in lower-quality day care."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Day_care

Katrina - posted on 11/29/2010

When I started part time work (1.5 days/week) I looked into Family Based Day Care - where the children are looked after in someones house with only 3-5 other kids. I was totally against Day Care for my girls because there are lots more kids for the carers and the children are separated by age group which means my girls would have been in different classes which I hated the thought of.
Family Based Day Care would have been brilliant by the fact that they would have more 1-on -1 time with the carers but still would have friends to socialise with.
Downside of the FBDC is costing obviously.
My husband and I decided to go with Grandparents instead, his mother takes the girls on one day, my mother the other day. This works really well for our family. Not only are the girls with people they know but it also means they see them more often than they would otherwise.
We are lucky in that the relationship between us all is really good so we have no issues with conflicting ideas for raising the girls, and if we do, we just mention it to whichever grandparent and they alter the way they do things.
Also, neither grandparent will accept payment for looking after the girls (they see it as a privilege) so instead, every now and then, my husband and I buy a token gift to give them in thanks.

If you have family that is able to take your child(ren) for you, I say go for it (although you would also need to make sure you have a good relationship with them too otherwise there may be lots of head and heartache later down the track if you clash with them)
Another thing with having family look after the kids is that you might need to be more proactive in taking them to playgroups etc to ensure that they still get the socialisation that they need at this age, which they would get at day care.

Good luck in anything you choose :) (sorry if I talked too long)

Tammy - posted on 11/29/2010

Well there would be several factors that would make up your mind on this
1. Cost of Childcare Centre/ Would your family expect some sort of reimbursement for looking after your child?
2. Availability- Usually when you book your child into the centre, you are guaranteed a place for the days that you choose. Will your family be readily available every single day that you need to?
3. Parenting Issues- Will your family respect your decisions as the mother and discipline/parent your child the way you want them to be?
4.Comfort. Would you be more comfortable leaving your child at daycare or with family?
Otherwise, depending on your circumstances, your child could go to daycare three times a week, and have your family watch them twice a week etc. Of course depending on how often your family can watch your child etc
Personally, my son goes to Daycare as we do not have the option of family. I would be quite comfortable leaving my son with Nanna however, if we had the choice, as she respects my decisions and is a good parent herself. On the otherhand, at daycare they have alot of good guidelines to follow and is excellent with child development. My son is always doing different activities, interacting with other kids, as well as free play. Hope this helps!