Day of birth and recovering

Monica - posted on 10/30/2009

We both have big families, our parents and siblings were in the room and slowly more family and friends came along as I was having contractions. When it came time to try to push, only our mothers were allowed. Afterwards,we had family and friends come visit the hospital, I think the visits stopped about a week or two after we were home.

Jessie - posted on 10/30/2009

I had the same problem.Me and my husband even told the nurses we didn't want family members visiting untill the next day but when i got out of recovery I had an emergency c-section and was brought to my room low and behold the entire faimly was there. They visited every day untill i left the hospital and one even decided she was gona move in when i got home. I didn't get to hold or change my baby for an entire month so when she left he didn't want me he wanted her. And still to this day will not sleep unless he is being held and he is two months old. So i know how you feel.

Donna - posted on 10/15/2009

I felt like you too Karyn i live in Australia and the rest of my family is in England. I would of loved it if my mum could have been there too. I made it clear to everyone that i didn't want them at the hospital waiting outside the room and i only wanted my husband with me, i felt that this is a special time in our lives and something we should do as a new family. I didn't even want any visitors on the first day because i needed to rest and get used to what i'd just been through!! In the end jsut the in laws came up about lunch time and didn't really stay for long coz i was falling asleep lol!!



When we got home we asked that people gave us a bit of space, but that didn't happen! I remeber that second night i was home i but my son to bed and decided to soak in the bath for a while it was about 8 pm then my husbands aunty turns up! I stayed in the bath as long as i could hoping she would get the msg.....wrong she didn't leave till 10 pm i was soo angry as as she left my son woke up so i missed my chance for a nap grrrr. And then for the next week people just keep turning up at stupid hours 6pm (dinner time) 7:30pm chilling out time it drove me nuts!!

*Fluffy Bunnies - posted on 10/15/2009

I felt the opposite. My husband and I live in Texas and all of our family lives in Ohio. My mom was here for the birth and two weeks afterwards. While she was here my brother and sister came and then my dad. They didn't all come at once because that would've been too many people. When my daughter was about 5 weeks old, his mom came and we went home when she was 2 months so she could meet everyone else. I know that I would've been overwhelmed with visitors if I were back home, but it made me really sad that our families couldn't be (and still can't be) a bigger part in our daughter's life. It really upset me that my dad couldn't be there (well in the waiting room:) ) My birth experience overall was wonderful, but I wish I could've been back in Ohio.

Karyn - posted on 10/15/2009

Hey lysha

I have got over the ordeal, I am just asking how everyone else's experience on the day of birth and if it went planned..

Reading your experience has opened my eyes that I really didn't have it that bad. I do get along with the in-laws some what now.

Thanks so much for sharing that with me :)

Iysha - posted on 10/15/2009

I honestly didn't want anyone in the room when it was time for me to push except the grandmas and my boyfriend and that was how it went. When I was in labor, my mom and boyfriend were the only ones there since my boyfriends mom lived 3 hours away. Then when they knew for sure I was having my baby that day, everyone came...his mom, his sister, his moms best friend, my dad, my sister, my aunt and my moms best friend. When it was time for me to push, my nurse said, "Ok, everyone clear out."Right as soon as the baby was born everyone rushed in. They didn't even wait for the nurse to walk out and tell them (at the hospital I delivered at, they have a song that plays when a child is born) and it was exciting for me. I felt proud that I did it and that my baby Kylie was healthy. The doctor had a NICU doctor and NICU nurses present at the time of Kylie's birth because they thought she was going to be about 3 pounds and may have had other health problems. I didn't have my baby at my side after that, just a quick hold and a kiss, then she was gone...but she was healthy. So, I was glad to share my happiness with them all and I didn't even care that I was not showered or anything... I was just like, "get me some food!" I had no birth plan prepared and didn't even think how I wanted my birth and the rest of the day to go. I would have been happy to have everyone there after too, but they all left after a few hours and my boyfriend was not with me that night because he was out drinking with his friend while I was in my hospital room alone since my baby was at the NICU.



If I were you, I would just stop dwelling about your big day not going as planned. You have a healthy baby there with you and family that cares enough that they want to enjoy that moment with you. Yes, they should have respected your wishes, but you can't change that now. The only thing you can do is move on. The birth of a baby is supposed to bring family closer, not tear them apart.



There is no reason for you to feel like a bad person for not wanting to let them have it their way. You are right...they should have respected your wishes. If they feel "robbed" let them know that was not your intention. You just wanted some time alone with the baby before everyone came in. That you had that day imagined in your head a cirtain way and you were just dissapointed that it didn't go as planned.



I was in labor twice. I missed 2 baby showers. I had to get told that my baby was more than likely going to have major health issues as I was in labor both times. I didn't get to bring my baby home with me for 17 days. Nothing went as planned. I was super dissapointed....especially about my boyfriend choosing not to be there with me the night after I delivered our baby and not having my baby with me. You can't plan everything and not everything goes as planned. All you can do is move on and enjoy your little one =]