dealing with seperation anxiety!

Geena - posted on 03/11/2010 ( 5 moms have responded )

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I have a 3 1/2 yr old and he has had his own room for almost 2 years yet he won't sleep an entire night in his room. It's not like he won't go to sleep in his room....i always put him to bed in his room yet at some point in the night he wakes up. I thought he was up because he wasn't tired anymore but what he does is walks to my room gets in my bed and closes his eyes and starts snoring lol. He's says he's scared to be in his room...What should i do??? I already tried the getting up and putting him back to bed but all that does is make me lose sleep because sure enough a lil while after here he comes again lol

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Louise - posted on 03/14/2010

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Geena just an update. After writing that message I sat down with my son and had a talk. I explained to him that only babies sleep in their mommys beds and now that he's going to be starting big school that he has to learn to sleep in his own bed like all the other boys and girls. We have a page of paper pinned to the wall and every night he sleeps in his own bed he gets a star and when he gets 10 he gets a treat. So far he has 3. The catch is though to enforce consistancy that if he doesn't stay in his own bed one night he loses all the stars and then starts again. The first night he came in at 6 but I was up with the baby so was fine and the last 2 nights it was 7. Hope this helps.

Geena - posted on 03/12/2010

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Wow you all have great ideas, thanks for all the advice i like the idea of rewarding him if he stays in his bed all week sounds nice and like it could work. As for the blanket or teddy he has this one blanket that he can't live without but i've never tried using it myself to leave my scent. I'll try and see what happens. I amazing how all of our children go through the same phases lol well at least we know we are not alone!

Louise - posted on 03/11/2010

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My son is 4 and a half and is still doing this every night. He does have serious separation anxiety. We even have a ritual hug and kiss every morning when i drop him to creche as well as clinging.



I would agree with the reward system. if he stays in his bed for so many days then he gets a treat.

I haven't started it yet with my son as he was late coming out of his nighttime nappies (he's only stopped wearing them for the last 2 months) and i used the reward system for that, if his nappies were dry for 7 nights he got to pick out big boy night time pants and if they were dry for 7 more days he got a treat. I'm not rushing to introduce any new ideas in case he regresses.



Also he is starting school in september and i'm going to try the you're a big boy now that you're in school so you need to sleep in your own bed.

On another note i have a friend who put a stair gate across the door to her sons room. He can open the door and call her if he needs to. She has a spot where she can see him and he can't see her so she can check him and make sure hes ok but he thinks she hasn't come out. After a few mins he goes back into bed!

Bianca - posted on 03/11/2010

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What you could try is using his favorite teddy or blanket... What you do is wear it (skin contact) around the house for a few hours (the longer, the better) and it will smell like you. so when he goes to bed at night you can tell him if/when he gets scared, to cuddle the object, and it would be like mum giving him a big warm, protective cuddle, this way he could use it at sleepovers aswell.

Melanie - posted on 03/11/2010

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i had a similar thing with my son when i was still pregnant. he has always slept in his own room but went threw a stage of getting up and jumping into our bed for a cuddle after a few weeks of getting up putting him back to bed with no let up i decided to do a reward chart so everynight he stayed in his bed he gt a smilly face at the end of a month of not getting up i brought him a train for his train sett 3 months later and still stayn in his bed all night

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