Debating what for my son..........Could us some advice

[deleted account] ( 14 moms have responded )

My husband and I grew up differently and I am finding it hard to compromise. I grew up in a non religious household and I attended both pre-school and public school. Where as my husband was raised in a Catholic household and he went to a Catholic school and then was home-schooled from middle to high school. We have a 4 yr old boy who I want to send to pre-school just a few hours a day and I was hoping to go back to school myself. Now my husband does not want to send him to school he wants to home-school him until he is old enough to enter college. I stay home and my husband works over night. So yes we do have the time, yet I am not discipline at this point in my life to home school my son. I feel like I do not have a say so in my son's education. I don't know what to do because I feel like it's home-school or home-school since we can't afford Catholic school. I just don't know what to do anymore. My son wants to go to school and meet friends he ask me all the time that when he gets big he gets to go to school just like daddy. What do I tell him? He will not understand why he can not go to school. Can someone help me out there? Thanks.

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Mary - posted on 07/02/2010

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please, please, please dont homeschool him. there is so much that he will miss out on. educationally and socially. i was homeschooled and i failed at college and life in general for awhile there because i did not have the skills learned to deal with the real world. it will hold him back greatly.

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[deleted account]

I think that homeschooling is a huge undertaking and if you don't feel comfortable with it you shouldn't be forced to do it. If it is that important to your husband that you son be home schooled then he should do it himself. There is nothing wrong with sending a child to school, it helps them gain independence, help build friendships, and help with social skills which are all very important. I think you should maybe point out those things to him and point out to him what you son is saying about wanting to make friends. My husband and I disagree as well about alot of things when it comes to raising our son because I am Canadian and he is Jamaican and was raised there. We both have to compromise alot. But both of us compromise, not just one person all the time

Heather - posted on 07/08/2010

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I know many homeschooled children, and unfortunately, all of them, except one family that was extremely dedicated, ended up behind in school. There are few regulations for home schoolers. If you don't want to dedicate the amount of time a school day is to your son, plus the extra time to make up lesson plans, etc, it would be a disservice. Plus, there is the fact that unless you have a nearby group of other homeschoolers that you see several times a week, your son may have trouble developing natural social skills.
I agree with jenna. Catholic schools pften offer financial aid or scholarships. Even the preschools can pack twice as much learning as the public schools, and if it is a half day it is usually quite a bit cheaper.

Mary - posted on 07/07/2010

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I think your husband needs to realize that children need socialization. Sending your child to pre school will not hurt him. I also think that if you do not feel comfortable with home schooling your child your husband should respect that. He needs to learn to be a little less controlling.

Mary - posted on 07/07/2010

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well sometimes you have to say some things so that they grasp how serious you are. been there done that. its not manipulation, its the truth.

[deleted account]

That's good that he is starting to understand how important it is to you! I understand you didn't like having to go to the means by which you were able to make this compromise, but atleast he took the steps to work it out! Hopefully kindergarten goes well for your son and he considers continuing education in the public school system!

[deleted account]

After talking to my husband and I told him that I often want to leave him so he can rise our on they way he wants to he finally gave in and compromise with me on sending our son to Kindergarten. But I still feel it's wrong that I had to physically say that I feel like it would be best for him if I left because we can't agree on what's right for our son. Now he is suggesting ideas about looking into school and such. I suggested that to him before I ever mentioned to him that I feel like leaving him.

Jenna - posted on 07/02/2010

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Have you checked into scholarships for the Catholic school? A lot of Catholic schools do offer need-based scholarships, say based off of membership in a particular church or even by volunteering at school/church events. Just a possibility to consider!

Jessi - posted on 07/02/2010

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if you don't feel disciplined enough to home school your son & want to go back to school yourself i see that as being an excellent argument to get your husband to see your views (unless you've tried that already). i think your husband does need to see your side, public schools have excellent curriculums, after school programs, etc. the public school i went to was smaller but has 1 of the best curriculums in our county. they even ranked higher than the catholic school that was part of our district.

my parents grew up the same way but my dad did not fight my mom on education because of 1 major factor...she moved 1k miles away from her family to be with his. he also wasn't a big fan of the catholic religion so we were baptised as protestants (mom's religion), besides the only private grade schools in our area are strictly catholic.

[deleted account]

I believe you would be the one homeschooling them so, if you feel that you are not up to that task, tell your husband no. I grew up in the public school system and I met a nice religious boy, if that is what he is concerned about. Religious training should come from home anyway (again, if this is the issue). It's just silly for him to say that he has decided that homeschooling would be best when he won't be the one doing it.

[deleted account]

I feel you here! Especially after all this nonsense with Kyron coming up missing in Portland, OR... Except we were both raised in the public school system. I personally loved my exp. and had many teachers I looked up to and can thank for my love of learning and desire for life long learning...My husband was one of the smart kids that got held back because of lazy teachers or what have you...My son also REALLY wants to take the bus to school like big kids. Unfortunately we can not afford to send him to preschool :( My husband also wants me to homeschool our boys because he doesn't trust ppl, doesn't feel public school has adequate lessons, etc...but the responsibility would fall on ME! And my almost 4 yr old is a damn spaz and I could not poss. get him to sit still for a lesson??? I told my spouse that our children will attend public elementary school and after that they can choose. Because it is my son's education we are talking about and HE wants to go to school...how the heck can I deny that? My husband didn't seem too thrilled about my conclusion, but it'll make my son happy and I leave the option open for later homeschooling...although I hope to just add to their school learning and not be their sole teacher! I loved school and hope that my boys can meet some awesome ppl in their school years! Good luck! All the talking in the world doesn't help us see eye to eye! Like I said, I kinda just TOLD him what was gonna happen and why...

[deleted account]

I have tried talking to him about even sending him to pre-k half a day. But the response I got from my husband was he doesn't trust people, that's why he doesn't want to send our son to school.

Tiffany - posted on 07/01/2010

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And if you aren't disciplined enough to do the home schooling make sure you include that. I was home schooled from 3rd grade till 12th. And although my mohter was a good teacher, she did not know all that th public schools would have taught me. You have to make sure that (between the two of you) that you have the knowledge to teach him everything he will need to know.
I know you know its hard, but maybe your husband will agree with you more if he sees that.
Maybe try for half day in Pre-k and some at home too?

Jen - posted on 07/01/2010

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I would sit down and talk with your husband about your concerns. Let him know how your son feels as well. It sounds like your son is set on meeting new people and going to big school. Maybe you can compromise and send him to Pre-K and Kindergarten and home school later. Just talk it out and find something that pleases all 3 of you. Good luck.

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