Did you keep up your appearance after having kids!

[deleted account] ( 127 moms have responded )

Seems like now there isn't anytime to do anything for myself. my day consist of 7am to 8pm non-stop running around after 2 toddlers. By the end of the day I had notice that, I didnt bathe, fell asleep with last nights clothes on, didnt brush teeth, hair uncombed, face looking like crap. I still have my gut ( thanks to 2 cesareans) and no exercise. Diet is out the door! I feel as if I have no energy, when it come to me time it doesnt exist; Im 26 yet feel over 40 ugh! Does anyone else feel this way. Or can you manage both you and your kids altogether? If so my hat goes down to you! lol

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Cassie - posted on 04/17/2013

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Wow! I can totally relate. I was very inspired after reading Veronica Knott's reply on this conversation. I am 23, a single mom with 2 daughters, 2 year old and 10 mon. old, and i keep my sister's children and they are also 2 years old and 9 mon. old all day every day! i cannot even tell you how many days I've had where i didn't get a shower in or brush my hair or teeth, and just forget the make up that's just for rare occasions! lol I cant even make it to the bathroom without someone crying over something! There are days I miss breakfast and lunch and sometimes dinner when i go to class! When i do get the chance to shower, its a quick 3-5 minute shower. It almost seems impossible to get anything done and nothing stays cleaned or picked up for longer than an hour! But i really liked Veronica's view because she has even more kids to keep up with and pregnant and still tries to keep herself in check! Her advice to just take it day by day, you do your best that day and that's the best you can do is great! Its good to know that there are others out there who struggle to find time for themselves just as I do!

Veronica - posted on 11/18/2009

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I certainly can understand this, entirely! I have 5 children, and baby number 6 is due in four months!! My children are aged: 6,5,4, 2 1/2, and 15mo. It is a handful, and there is a lot of work and time involved. But like the other ladies said - its about first and foremost making it a point to take care of yourself. I don't always get a shower in, I don't always get to do my makeup or even dress up. (mainly when i go out to the store or out on business) that part i don't worry about though - when im home I focus more on me as a person - and improving me to be a better mom and wife, and person. Then I focus on our health. Its not just about what you eat and how much you work out. You need to make sure you are getting the right nutrition - vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, and anything else you may need to boost your immune system, boost energy, and stay healthy and in balance throughout your body as well. My children are on multivitamins with probiotics , we are all on vitamin c, im on a prenatal, and my husband and I take an antioxidant - him for his asthma, me for detox - maintenance. It has truly helped! I have more energy, Ive gotten sick once this year, and Im able to do what i need to - no more feeling sluggish and tired.



Making it a point to take time - i usually shower in the morning or at naptime (basically before my husband goes to work.) I take time to check business and emails and phone calls in the morning too. Or at naptime or after i get the kids down to bed - i do intervals. I try to groom my nails and toenails at least once a week. And when i got out i make sure to do my hair, makeup and dress nice.



Its all about priorities. Set a routine, set a schedule, plan certain things at the most convenient times (like i said when hubby is here, naptime, bedtime - or even before the kids get up too).

As for housework - i clean kitchen and bathroom - and do laundry. My children help clear off the table and wash it. They love to sweep and vacuum. I will say: pick up your toys and you can vacuum!" they are on the ball! Kids love to help, and i sometimes make it a game, "I spy a pink sock" they all race to pick it up and put it away! My one year old will see the kids putting toys in the box, and he follows suit. Its a family effort. This is what we do as a family. I do not believe in rewards - other than a big hug and praise to my children for a job well done. I want them to value that - not how many treats or money they can get. Just being proud of themselves. Now this isnt all roses - theres conflict at times, and it takes time and work to set it up - but the reward is having children who know how to do these tasks, listen pretty well at their age, and take pride in this. As they get older - their tasks get bigger. Like i said, my one year old will put a toy in the box, my 6 year old knows how to clean, fold and put laundry away, wash table, help clean table, vacuum, you know the 'bigger' stuff for that age. You show them these things as you see fit with your children's developments.

And you do little things - always throw garbage in the garbage can, have a basket or two that the laundry goes into - instead of having a pile. Kind like that saying: open it close it, drop it pick it up, use it put it away -- etc.



SOunds like you have a very busy schedule and day - is there anything you can cut back from?? Or incorporate other things into? I can understand that you are tired by time you get home from running - but if the kids are already in bed, courtesy of your husband - that should be a good time to draw a quick bath and soak - dont always have to wash your hair - just sitting in that tub you are at least getting clean for hte most part, and relaxing. You'd probably feel better from a hectic day - and then to just submerse yourself in a bath.



Help is always great - but its me almost all day - my husband works a majority of the day - and there are times my sisters will come over and its like a mini break - but i find that i manage quite well on my own -- and i still find time for me. There are days that get hairy and ugly, and i get crabby - there are days that there is no cooperation from my kids, or they are crabby or get sick - etc. etc. Just take it day by day. You do your best that day. And that's the best you can do.



Figure out what works best for you - every day isnt going to be perfect or work the way you want it - but making an effort, keeping on task, helps those bad days still run well.



Take care, I hope Ive helped a bit - and remember to make yourself just as important as your husband and children. When mama is happy - the whole family is happy!



Good luck, keep us posted with what starts working for you!



Veronica

Sarah - posted on 11/15/2009

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Shower whats that?? haha just kidding. I have 4 kids I am 22 years old they are 1,3,4,5 years old. It can be done but you have to be willing to get up early and stay up late. I make my kids take '"naps" I guess we considered it to be quite time. But this is ME TIME. Being a mommy you have take time for yourself or going to lose your marbles mama. My husband works the "normal" 9-5 he's in the army so this can change at any minute. I've learned to deal with that. But to answer the question it can be done. Although some days I find this up keep exhausting with in it's self. Don't worry they do get older and it does get easier. (Of course I am not looking forward to those teen years eeeekk)

Nikita - posted on 11/19/2009

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Im quite the opposite to be the odd one out... me and the boys 2yrs and 4 months old are up at bout 6.30 and i find ive had the house cleaned all showered and dressed and bored by 9 am ! I try to look my best, ive had 2 c/s and have a gut so i try and dress nice and eat right to cover it...

Michelle - posted on 11/18/2009

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I feel the same way! I am also 26, and I say all the time I feel older than my mom, who is 48! lol I have 4 children, so it is hard to make sure they are presentable, and myself. lol Most of the time, if we are not going anywhere, they are dressed all nice and have their hair done, but when it comes to me, I am in a t shirt and shorts or sweats, depending on the time of year, if not still in my pjs. My husband is constantly asking if it's going to get better...EVER! lol There are some days I can manage to at least take a shower and blowdry my hair in the morning, since I normally take a shower at night just to get a head start with more sleep the next day. I am more busy chasing and cleaning up after 4 tornadoes that hit my house daily, and that's not including their daddy who is so tired after a day at work and classes that he can't seem to get his clothes to the hamper. I try gettin up earlier, but that just makes me go to bed earlier, so I never get further than the day before. My oldest has learned how to do the dishes and help start the washer and dryer, so that helps me with some of my load. I can't wait for the days when they can get themselves ready...but then I'm not sure. Then the day may be full of "You are not wearing that!!!!!" lol

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Nicole - posted on 04/17/2013

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Girl I know how you feel. I sometimes feel embarrassed for my kids when we go out in public because I feel like there is no time to get myself ready because I'm so focused on my kids. I think I'm going to cut my hair shorter so hopefully that will cut some time out. Best of luck to you!

Nicole - posted on 04/17/2013

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Girl I know how you feel. I sometimes feel embarrassed for my kids when we go out in public because I feel like there is no time to get myself ready because I'm so focused on my kids. I think I'm going to cut my hair shorter so hopefully that will cut some time out. Best of luck to you!

[deleted account]

I am only on #1 (5 months old), a stay at home mom and looking forward to #2 soon. I dont find much changed for me. I have a schedule.. My son is super easy.. he sleeps 12+ hours 3-4 naps daily.. very easy going. I dont find I fall behind at all.

My looks didnt change after, i started at 128 and i am now 126 i am 5'9" ..

Hopefully #2 goes that well!

Brandi - posted on 11/21/2009

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I am new to this whole mom thing but yes, I feel your pain. Between the baby and house work there are days I "forget to shower" and stay in my pj's all day. Now when it comes to going out then ok I get up before my daughter and get ready that way when she wakes up I can feed her and get ready to leave the house. On the diet note. It does seem like there is no time for that in the day either... I have recently started calorie counting and in my opinion chasing after kids all day is probably a better work out than the gym.. I am with you and mom who manages both get major props in my book.

Valarie - posted on 11/21/2009

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i'm going to have to agree with the schedule it would probably be the best way to handle it with toddlers, tho i do the exact same thing you do, my daughter was born october 14 2008 my son october 22 2009 so i stay busy but i would like to find the time to look nice especially for my fiance. some weeks i can do it all others i look like a hermit and really don't care lol

Amanda - posted on 11/21/2009

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Not really I was able to drop my weight down thru breast feeding !!!!LOL but that was it. After I had my son he blew me up and I just let myself go. Now I am back in school ( college) And I try to do make up daily and my hair!!!! But that can be hard because I wake everyone up get them breakfast dress them and all that good stuff so I find myslef rushing LOL

Jaclyn - posted on 11/19/2009

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I'm 24 and I feel just like you, my daughter is 17 months. I take care of her 99% of the time by myself and yes I am married. I also have a 5 yr old step-daughter and babysit a 3 yr old a few days a week. I don't have anytime to myself what so ever and I struggle with it daily. I also do not look like I used to and it bothers me alot. When I shower my daughter goes in the tub with me, when I brush my teeth she brushes hers, when I potty, she pottys. When I clean my daughter believe it or not takes a wipe or the vacuum and follows mommy around. She helps me and empties clothes from the dryer and helps me put things away. The clean house is a daily battle and myhusband likes a clean house and a meal on the table. I have been getting better with it but I'm exhausted and honestly I have no sex drive by the end of the day at all. I also have fibromyalgia which is a pain in the butt pain disorder. I don't have time to diet, no money to join the gym...I try and walk as much as I can but I have the gut and it stinks. I can manage the kids just fine but I wish I could have a day to sleep in or get a massage.

Keri - posted on 11/19/2009

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I try to keep up with myself because I start getting kinda depressed if I don't. I did get my hair cut shorter, so its easier to style (and my daughter won't pull on it as much). I do have a hard time with makeup, brushing teeth, and stuff like that though. I get my daughter ready to go and run out of time for myself.

Claire - posted on 11/19/2009

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you just have to make a rutien that has a little bit of me time in it even if its only once a month and u get a mate to have the kids so u can dress up and go out if u want personaly i dont go out like that but every1 need a brack n some me time now n then

Crystal - posted on 11/19/2009

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honestly i dont bother w/ make up or straightening my hair these days, unles my husband is off from work to watch him while i do get ready. sometimes you dont really have time to primp anymore. i just wouldnt worry about what other people say about you because, youre as beautiful as you think you are.

Claire - posted on 11/19/2009

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i have 2 children which one gose to pre-skool 3 hours 5 days a week and my son gose 2 nursery 3 hours 3 times a week so i do get some time to do what i need to but before they went to skol and nursery it was hard to get some me time but i soon found that when the kids went down for a nap i could have my bath each day. i still have a bit of a stumac 2 years on but it was hard to get my excercise in so i decided insted of getting the but 2 go shoppin i would walk aned tryed to walk everywere i could i soon found i had my figure back and lost some of the waight i had b4 i was pregnant and as for the make up i realised that i didnt need it cause i was happy with myself. the issue with brushing teeaht i found easy to resolve by setting a set time at 8 and i would brush my teath with the children and while they were still finishing there teath i would do my hair and anything else i needed 2 do

[deleted account]

I know what you mean...luckily my little boy Harry is less dependent on me as he's nearly 4, so it gives me that bit of extra time...even if it is to do washing and tidy! It was hard also being a single mum i didnt have a partner to help out...Finding time for myself is hard...before i had children it would take me a few hours to get ready to go out now i can practically be ready and out the door in 5 mins!! i don't think your the only one i feel all mothers feel like this...like they say a mothers work is never done!

Francesca - posted on 11/18/2009

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I can say I really stopped caring. I don't have too much of an excuse though. I only have one and she is a pretty good baby. She lets me shower, and groom. But I think its a combination of a little frustration that I can't get into my old clothes and thus not wanting to shop, and it being far more fun to dress my little girl up, that I don't put any effort into it. I find it so much more fun to shop for Ella and primp her than I do my own self. Although my D/H warned me that if I keep this up he will call What Not To Wear (I hate that show). I just ignore him though. He works out of town 5 days a week anyways, so really he can't complain too much.

Stephanie - posted on 11/18/2009

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me i lost it cause i cant afford new clothes or anything cause i cant afford it im, a single mom of a 3 year old. so its ok with me cause he is more important

Kara - posted on 11/18/2009

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I'm right there with ya Carmen! I just have one baby, but it's still a handful. My diet is all over the place and somedays I can't get into the shower or brush my teeth too. I'm working to rectify this..but its hard. Do you have family support?

Adina - posted on 11/18/2009

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i feel that way. by 7 in the evening i realize i havent changed clothes or brushed my teeth or brushed my hair. yea its hectic lol

Jaisee - posted on 11/18/2009

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No offense to anyone but why does everyone say that dieting is the only way to loose weight... if you grocery shop and don't eat out the easiest way to loose weight and the only time you need to have will power is the shopping part.. next time you go shopping only buy healthy foods tons of veggies and fruits..ect.. as soon as you get home cut everything up and put in a tupper ware container then you have a huge bowl that you can throw in the fridge and whenever you feel like eating or snacking its all done and ready for you ... instead of chips get popcorn or nuts ...healthy for you but feels and tastes like a snack.. and this is stuff you could eat ALL day and still loose weight... again no offense to anyone im just saying you don't need the hassle of counting calories or any of that to loose weight and feel good about yourself.. trust me i am a very lazy person and i hate cooking and all that but i just make sure that i have alot of healthy pre ready food in the fridge and it makes eating healthy really easy... other then that eat your 3 meals a day and mabey take the kids for a walk to the park they get out and you get a walk. :)

Christie - posted on 11/18/2009

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Well i may not fully know what your going thru, bieng that i only have one child who's 2, but i do know how it is to not have time for myself, and it's hard not letting yourself go. I found that if i got any time for myself weather it be just ten minuets or 30 i tried painting my nails or something little to make myself feel girls it really made me feel good inside. i think it's important to us women especially after having kids to find the time for ourselves even if it's while their sleeping, because it makes a huge difference on our every day to day lives.

Keda - posted on 11/18/2009

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I am the same way,before my son,I kept myself up.I dressed so cute,hair was done all the time,but now I gained weight,dont dress real cute anymore.I really need to get back to the old me.You can handle both,u just have to try and set aside me time!

Keda - posted on 11/18/2009

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I am the same way,before my son,I kept myself up.I dressed so cute,hair was done all the time,but now I gained weight,dont dress real cute anymore.I really need to get back to the old me.You can handle both,u just have to try and set aside me time!

Alison - posted on 11/18/2009

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I'm there with you, I think that's normal! Since I've figured out a routine with my son, I have started to be better about the things that are important to me - like I finally manage to get a shower every day! LOL. I definitely don't have time to exercise or diet, but am starting to get better about exercising with my son - going for walks and things like that. I just think it is more important to take good care of my son than to look nice :) Maybe someday I'll drop 40 pounds and start wearing makeup again!

Mariela - posted on 11/18/2009

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Oh & back to keep up my appearance, I cut my hair short so it takes me 15mins to do my hair instead of an hour. & I put some foundation on & mascara & call it a day. Once you get a quick routine down it becomes easier :D

Mariela - posted on 11/18/2009

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I would put your children on a schedule, I have a 9 month old who crawls around & gets into everything! I have him on a schedule, & its helped us tremendously! My husband is Active Duty Navy, so its usually just me & my little guy with our 2 dogs. I shower while the baby is taking a nap & I spread out all the cleaning, so one day I'll wipe down the whole kitchen, then next clean the bedrooms: this way at night when the baby goes down for the night, I just have to tidy up the house & wash his bottles/bowls :]

As for not being able to afford a fitness membership, find places that have free trials & just line up all the free trails back to back. This way depending on where you live, you can get a few months in the gym :] If you still don't have time for that do some exercises at home (I also had a c-section, which I can't get rid of my bump, but I'm still trying) Go for a walk with the kids a few times a week, do some crunches/sit ups, invest in a workout tape that can either incorporate the kids or the kids can do most of it with you :D

Good luck!

Danielle - posted on 11/18/2009

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I'm in the same boat with you... literally. I just recently started sacrificing sleep so that I could shower, clean, and do laundry. I've started doing little tricks to 'keep up appearances'. At night I shower, then i'll braid my hair wet and go to bed. In the morning my hair is dry and i take the braids out and my hair has a cute wavy look to it and it was super simple. Also, I put powder and eye liner in the bathroom closer to the faucet. After I use the bathroom, I wash my hands and throw some on... it take 30 secs.
For exercise, I walk around the neighborhood with my son in the stroller. So bundle up your kiddies and go walking. I've never met a kid who didn't like walks and its good exercise for you. I also have family members watch him a couple nights a week so I can a) exercise or b) do date nights. Family members love spending time with the little ones so use that to your advance (but don't get to carried away. only go a couple times a week or use other family members and not the same ones each time).
If you have no family around, look for mommy and baby groups. They usually have kid swapping where you watch their kids so they can go out and vice versa.
Not comfortable with that, look for working out places that have free daycare (YMCA, Jazzercise).
Hope this helps.

Ashley - posted on 11/18/2009

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Girl i think everyone goes through this. Im 21 with a 1 yr old a 2 yr old and am 8 months pregnant! When i got pregnant with my third I knew I had to do something to make life easier and so that I could at least get a shower in! I slowly started doing the same routine every day, always got up at the same time made breakfast at the same time, naps all that good stuff. And slowly I found that I had more time to do things like shower and dress and take care of myself. Everyone's different and you just gotta find what works for you and your little ones! Good luck!

Brittany - posted on 11/18/2009

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I understand exactly what you're saying. I'm a stay at home mom with a one and half year old but my mom describes him as having four instead of just one. Most days I have a "to-do" list but none of those things get done. You do need to find time for yourself.. even if it's ten minutes after the kids have gone to bed or while they are napping. Kids can sense stress so relax and they'll relax!

Veronica - posted on 11/18/2009

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I definately can relate to the feeling 40 thing and Im only 24. It seems like everyday is the same. I wake up, get our 2.5 yr old ready for daycare, Work 9-5, pick him up, do dinner, play with him for a little while, bath time, then bed time. I usually get an hr or two at night to myself & husband but then its sleep & repeat. I remember getting up every morning taking a shower, doing my hair & makeup, picking out cute girly clothes for the day. Now im lucky if I remember to wash my face in the AM. I hardly ever were makeup any more and have come to the realization I dress like an adolecent boy haha. But hey thats the life of a mother with a toddler.

Kacie - posted on 11/18/2009

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Isnt if fun :) I have two kids 5 years and 18 months i run in home daycare and my husband is a truck driver that is gone during week. I always feel i never have enough time but i some how make time. My week goes 5:30 am wake up GET COFEE, daycare kids start at six. My kids up by 7:30 to get daughter ready for school, breakfast blah blah. 8:15 get her on bus. Ok then get started cleaning up breakfast pick up toys that are already all over. 10 am snack and cartoon time. this gives me a half hour to do anything that needs done without kids being my shadow. By 10:30 snack is over and its time for play and dance. Get exersice. and the kids love it. i turn the music up and get my groove on. i also had two c sections. so my 11:30 i start lunch noon wee eat i make a well blanced meal and eat what they eat with them. by 12:45 everyone gets ready for nap/rest time. 1pm movies are on kids are down and that time never changes. this is my shower or me time. computer shower whatever i want to do time. by 3:30 kids are up and ready to go to bus stop to get my daughter. 4 pm snack and start cleaning up to go home. this is when my night gets busy by 5:30 kids get picked up and dinner is on table for my 2 kids. By 6:30 we are in car and on my way to workout at friends house on mon tues and thurs. the kids all play and we get a 45 min workout in. on wednesdays i have church and so we are in car by 5:45 - 6 to be ther by 6:30. back home no later then 8 start pj time brush teeth and get ready for bed. the kids are always in bed tucked in by 9 pm no later or earlier. so after that i again have an hour of free time to finish picking house up or watching a little tv i like or reading.

The reason i went through my schedule was to explain that it can be done if you have a schedule. kids thrive on doing the same thing over and over at the same time everyday they know what to expect and are never suprised..of course things come up and you have to adjust (doc appts, school conf ect) you just make it work and keep going. try a schedule that works for you and i hope you can get showers and you time in good luck

Sarahi - posted on 11/17/2009

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Well I say its all about balance, I have 2 lil terrorists as I call them, a 4 yr old and a 2 yr old, there are some days that I dont get all fancied up with makeup, but for the most part I get dressed at the same time I get my boys dressed, I dont wear any kinds of concealer just eyeliner, eyeshadow, and mascara and trust me it makes such a huge difference, I dont always have the time to clean my house, but I find the time for myself and about the exercising, find the nearest Ross or Marshalls even forever 21 all these stores are very cheap and get a couple cute shirts and at least a good pair of jeans stop trying to fit into what you wore pre-baby and enjoy the body you have ;)

Tara - posted on 11/17/2009

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I feel this way too but i have kept up my appearance. I push myself to keep it. Its part of my job.

Elisha - posted on 11/17/2009

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The important thing is to make time for yourself, only if its only 10 mins. My son is 5 months old and I used to have trouble finding the time for a shower etc during the day so I would wait until he went to bed at night and do everything then, but now, I am more than happy to leave him in his playpen & have a quick shower etc or wait until he has a nap. Or if you have a partner or family member that can help take the kids off your hands for just a couple of hours once a week just for some "you" time.

Stephanie - posted on 11/17/2009

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i understand your struggles, with 2 girls 3 1/2 and 4 1/2 i barely have time to eat let alone "primp", and when i see other mom's the mall or when I am out looking all perfect, i figure they must have alot of help!!!! because thats just not the way it is, and my boyfriend doesn't even mention how i don't get all decked out anymore, i think being a good mom is prettier than any make-up or diet

Cleo - posted on 11/17/2009

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Lol it doesn't seem like there isn't time for yourself because there really isn't, at least that's how I feel as well:-) When I went to school everyday I kept up with myself at all times but now that I'm a stay at home mom I still take my shower and brush my teeth but I'm not going to get all dressed up with makeup just to clean the house and do laundry. When we do go out to church, family members house or a date I'll put my efforts into making myself feel great. It isn't easy and requires some planning to get myself and lil one out on time but I feel great and with me feeling great about myself my husband and baby will feel that much better about me too. Now I don't go out running anymore or go to the gym but I do continue to do my exercises at home with my daughter

Anne - posted on 11/17/2009

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Join the group... I know I feel that way, infact i type this right now still in my hubby`s sweats, no shower, havent brushed my teeth and i think i only ate once today... I hear it gets easier once the kids are in school but that silver lining is long in coming. Really to be a mom means your me time isnt there, unless you have the kids in day care(my oldest gos and i still dont have time for me but she`s only there 2 days a week) or have a nanny which most moms this age either cant afford it or would rather spend the time with their kids. you have to make the time as i say that i know i havent done that in a while, but really you do. even if its one day on the weekends you get some one to watch the kids and spend an hour sleeping or taking a bath at least your not worried about what the kids are doing/in to. Hope you figure out how to make time for yourself but if you cant dont worry you are not in an empty boat infact it most likely is full.

Vicky - posted on 11/17/2009

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sounds familiar! the only time i get to make myself look decent is when my hubby is here to look after our 2yr old daughter for a while while i put my mkk-up on/do hair/shower... he has to do this on mornings when i'm going to work (wed thrs & fri) & if i'm going out, i'm the type of person who loves to be "made up" & hair done...on days when hubby ain't here i don't go out - i won't if my hair ain't done! lol! x

Hollie - posted on 11/17/2009

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I tried to, but I didn't have as much time as I use to to work on myself, so I just did the most important, cover-up and if I got lucky eyeliner and lip gloss...I've learned to go without make-up since becoming a mom, and I've learned to not always have my hair fixed, a messy bun is just as good!. It gets easier as they get older and are able to entertain themselves for a period of time so you can take that time and work on yourself. It definitely does change though when you become a mother.

Cassie - posted on 11/17/2009

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My daughter is 2 months old. I am a full time college student and currently looking for a new job. I have custody of my 15 year old sister and her 5 month old son and my boyfriend makes me think that he's 10 sometimes. Lol. So between taking my sister to school and picking her up and getting myself to school, it can be very hard to find time to get everything done around the house, find study time, take care of the kids, and have time to take care of myself as well. But I have realized that it is easier for me to feel better about myself when I get up in the morning, have a good breakfast (even if I have 2 babies on my lap while I eat) and shower, get dressed and put make-up on rather than days when I dont.

Mary - posted on 11/17/2009

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I agree with everyone that it is difficult but yes, alas, it can be done. I have two children; the most hyper-active, energetic 2 1/2 year old boy that you ever did see, and a very opposite calm, sweet 9 month old boy lol. I struggled at first, but eventually i got them on the same nap schedule. The baby sleeps from about 9 till 10 every morning and then they both nap from 1-3 in the afternoon. During that time, depending on my sleep the previous night, I either clean house, or have a nap to re energize myself. My hubby works shift work so depending on his schedule i usually find an hour most days to get a good workout in or even go do a little shopping all by myself. As for the diet, that is also possible. (With the exception of chocolate lol ) I only buy healthy whole foods and nothing processed or packaged, that way i have no choice but to eat clean, and my kids learn about maintaining a healthy lifestyle as well.
Never underestimate the power of having family help out. Get grandma or grandpa (or pay a babysitter if you trust anyone) and go get a massage or your hair done. There is nothing wrong with that and it will probably make you an even better mom in the end because you will feel more relaxed. Take care.

Francene - posted on 11/17/2009

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Your not on your own!!!!! i have a 3 year old and a 5 month baby it is non stop all i seem to do is feed them change baby clean children feed im lucky if i get time to brush teeth MADNESSS my house is a disaster my poor husband has learnt to live with it LOL cause he had one day of it and realised it isnt easy!!!! so dont worry your not on your own and anyone who can manage everything i want their secret!!!!!!!!!

Shauna - posted on 11/17/2009

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I feel your pain. My son is 16mo and i also had a csection. I gained 50lbs with him, and i lost most of it the first 2 months the last 10 was a little harder to get off, especially since i don't exercise. But when i finally lost the rest and it stayed down(it had been flucuating up and down) I found out i was pregnant again. Go figure. I will be having another csection So i hope atleast for my sake it'll go away as easy as the first one. But I am in my pjs most days. I can never find time to shower. When my son takes a nap I try and shower, but i usually have to clean up, laundry or dishes And by the time im done hes awake. Sometimes ill try and take a shower with him but its hard bc all he wants to do is play. So most days i can't take a shower until my hubby gets off work at 7 so he can watch him. But I have no energy, im always tired but can never sleep. I don't know what im going to do when i have this second baby. But if someone were to come over or were going out i will throw on some make up real quick, and if i've showered that day ill sdtraighten my hair, otherwise ill just throw it up ini a pony tail! Believe me you are not alone!!

Jenna - posted on 11/17/2009

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Here is the honest truth from a 24 year old mom of 3 year old twins and a 5 month old baby. When my twins were born 3 months early and 45 lbs gained, it took me 1 full year to get back to my pre babies self, in that time my husband was a SAHD and I went to work full time, when I had my youngest 5 months ago, I had gained 45 lbs again, in 5 months with breastfeeding I have gone down to less than I was before I got pregnant the first time, minus my little belly that I am sure I could get rid of with some crunches. My days Monday to friday anyways are the same, get up, get twins dressed and fed, get baby up, take twins to daycare, come home, feed baby, work on my home business, clean the house, have a shower while baby is napping, get dressed, start dinner, go pick up twins from daycare, come home finish making dinner, feed twins, clean up kitchen, bath the kids, play with the twins while baby is napping, put twins to bed, spend 45 mins with hubby just hanging out, and then feed baby, watch some tv, go FB, and go to bed. I dont look like million bucks everyday, heck right now, I am wearing my husbands sweatpants a bras and my hair looks like a ratsnest. but I just got baby down to nap, Im going to go hop in the shower, clean my kitchen and then go do some work. Im not super mom but I know there are things I want in life and if I dont do them, Ill get annoyed with them not being done. On the weekends I spend my time with my family, my house work is less and family time is more. Really I have the twins and I can get them down for a nap at the same time, and as soon as I do I get in the shower, cuz I want to be able to feel clean and I never know how long of a window I am going to have that they will both be sleeping. Okay so hate me love me, dont care but if you have support in your life, husband, boy friend, parents, when you get a chance to ask for some help, take 15 minutes a day to yourself. Otherwise you will go crazy and when you look at yourself in the mirror you wont be happy. 15 minutes is the minimun in my life in order to have some comfort!
Hoe that helps! Jenna

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Oh Carmen, preach on! Ha ha ha! My son is almost 18 months and I'm STILL trying to adjust!! Here's what has helped me: The house is babyproofed so I can shower while he plays. (Quickly of course) I usually just hang a towel on the door so he can't close it by himself then start yelling because he can't get out! I try to do housework while he takes his 2 hour nap...but I normally sit around and veg out...oops! But the biggest thing that has helped me is Adipex. I don't know how you feel about prescriptions, but it's saved my life!! It's marketed as a diet aid and helps to curb your appetite. For some people it hypes them up too much, but for me it's the kick in the butt that I've needed! I've lost about 20 pounds in 2 months! (No, I don't own the company or sell the stuff, I just really like it!) I also had a c section with my little one and I never could get rid of this stomach! I never get to the gym so losing that weight has been a miracle! But anyway! Adipex is like caffeine to me, it keeps me going and I get a lot more stuff done during the day. And most of the time I forget about eating!
And yes, there are days when my husband comes home from work around 8pm and I still haven't showered, brushed my teeth, combed my hair...much less do my makeup! So don't worry, it's a mom thing! ;-)
And I think having a job really helped too. Even though you're having to be away from the little one(s), you kinda get some ME time. Even if it's just the commute to and from!

Connie - posted on 11/17/2009

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I am tired all the time. I have a 3 and a half year old and a 2 month old. so between the two of them there isnt much time to rest. and the most i do for my self is straighten my hair... lol. but i did lose all the weight after both pregnancies without exercise.

Emily - posted on 11/17/2009

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I kind of lucked out right after I had my son, because my mom had come to stay with me the first week of December and said she wasn't leaving until Christmas. I had Conner on December 13, and when I got home, thankfully both Kris and my mom were there. We had a 2-story apartment at the time and set up a bassinet downstairs so I could shower and almost feel like myself upstairs (while someone was watching him, of course!) My first day by myself, however, I put him in his vibrating chair in my bedroom, which I could see if I left the bathroom door open during my shower. Note for everyone else: make sure the little seatbelt thing is snug! I'll never forget that... he slid out of the chair while I was trying to wash out the last of the conditioner. I stayed at home with him for an entire summer that I wasn't working, and I found that he was happiest in his walker. It was big enough that he couldn't get to the small spaces I didn't want him in and I knew he was safe the whole time! I'm currently looking for another job, but I kept him in daycare for two reasons: 1.) that's where his friends and teachers are, and 2.) to give myself those hours I need to clean, shower, and run errands. Some people might disagree with him still going to daycare, but I couldn't afford to lose his spot (there's a three month long waiting list.) It's definately been a blessing to have this time by myself, and now that he's almost three, I'm finally back in my groove the way I was pre-pregnancy.

Carolann - posted on 11/17/2009

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i had a little girl 3 months ago and found at first it was a struggle, luckily when i was pregnant i only put on 2 stone and most of that was water so my weight just dropped off
i found when she has her nap or is happily entertaining her self i take her play mat into the bathroom with me where i can have a shower/bath and know she is fine.
why not try having a bath with them?
im 23 andvery knew to it all as the father is not around much as he is in the army. remember your children will love you no matter what you look like or how bad your breath smells lol your there mummy

Rena - posted on 11/17/2009

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I so feel the same way as you do. I go throughout my entire day wondering what did I do today, almost as if I am a robot on auto pilot. It sounds bad, but I get my days mixed up, I call my kids the wrong name, and there is no me time. I am a stay at home mom of two little girls under the age of 5 and this is the hardest job I have ever had. I thought this will be a piece of cake, I can relax and get some housework done, little did I know that the second I get to sit down one of them wants for something.
I asked for an eliptical machine for Christmas or my birthday, like it matters, and I got one well it sits in the corner collecting dust like everything else that I don't have time for. If I can't get a minute to brush my hair what makes me think I will have 30 of those minutes to do something for me. My husband says "do it when I get home from work" I don't think he understands that when his job is done at 4 or 5 mine never stops. I am on the go from the time I wake up in the morning until I lay down for bed, and even then my head is still racing a mile a minute.
Outside from all the bitching and wanting to feel pretty again, I do try and look nice at least once a week. I know that is bad to say, but so very true. I don't have time to doll myself up like I did once upon a time, but once a week I try to get into a pair of jeans and a tee shirt and not smell like breakfast cereal or have lunch on the front of me. So for any of you other moms out there that might have some advice on how to stay in shape while never leaving the house or a diet plan that consists of not paying hundreds of dollars please send these things my way...I am open to all suggestions!

April - posted on 11/17/2009

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hey! i know how you feel but you have to take time for yourself no matter how you do it! If you feel better about yourself it will make everything easier! its really easy to get depressed without exercise and not eating properly. One good quick way to exercise is to jumprope, it just takes 10-15 mins and is really helpful. plus you can watch the kids while they play because you are in one spot. Another thing that has helped me with eating is the raw vegan diet. I have a huge sweet tooth and with raw vegan you can eat brownies and cheesecake and it actually helps you loose weight, (you can google raw cheesecake and raw brownies and they are so easy to make and so good... also good for the kids depending on their age) but im with you on the bathing, sometimes i realize its been a few days or a week since i washed my hair haha... but i always fix it and get dressed and put on makeup and clean the house at least once a week... it really helps my mood and the way i feel about myself! good luck i know its hard.

Kristi - posted on 11/17/2009

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Running after two toddlers is tough I give you props! I only have one and she is two and a half and a handful!!! After she was born I had no time to do anything for myself or was too tired to care. I also had preecclampsia the last three months of my pregnancy so I gained 70 lbs altogether! I had a cesarean so I couldnt go back to the gym for a while but when I finally got to go back I lost 75 lbs and started being able to do more 'me' stuff. You just need to try to make time for yourself so you can regenereate some energy and feel good about you.

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