Discipline for infants???

CHRISTINA - posted on 04/08/2009 ( 15 moms have responded )

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My Babies are turning one next week, and they are already starting to act like spoiled bratz. They will throw themselves to the floor and kick whenever we dont give them something they want. How can we discipline them, how can we teach a baby?

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Sarah - posted on 06/10/2011

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Put them somewhere they cannot hurt themselves (play pen their room etc) and let them cry/ tantrum to their hearts content. I will walk out of a room if my boys are throwing a tantrum- it's not as rewarding to cry to ones self as a crowded room. If you pay attention to the tantrums with good (soothing) or bad (yelling/hitting) attention you are giving your child what they want (wether they get what they are crying about or not). Make sure you are catching them doing nice things and reward and pay extra attention to them when they are being sweet. This will eventually show them that good behavior gets me attention/love/new toys/snacks/etc. crying and tantrums gets me nothing. My advice, find a good time out spot and use it!!
Good luck

Valerie - posted on 06/10/2011

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they are not brats...they are testing and learning boundaries...you need to be firm and loving...and respond to their needs...consider reading Beck Bailey's book, Concious Discipline...all the best

Tiffany - posted on 04/10/2009

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Don't pay any attention to the negative behaviour, but recognize and praise the good behaviour.

Emily - posted on 04/09/2009

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since toddlersstruggle to communicate their intense emotions even those proficient in language will have a tantrum. I really don't mind my kids expressing their emotions. Tantrums don't really bother me- whining gets me though! When they were little and threw a tantrum I acknowledged the emotion, the reason for the emotion, and explained my position. Example, "I see you are very upset because you want that lolipop but lolipops are bad for your teeth and have too much sugar. Sorry but I won't buy you the lollipop." If it escelates or is really loud to begin with I have been known to leave my shopping cart in the middle of the store, take the child to a grassy area of the parking lot where she can blow off some steam for a minute or two, tell her we are going home because I can't pay for groceries and deal with her screaming at the same time. If it happens at home I do the same thing let her know I understand that she feels frustrated but she can't have her way right now for whatever reason and move her to a safe location while going about my business. My older daughter never threw a lot of tantrums, my younger daughter throws them more but still infrequently so I could be lucky. Like I said, I hate whining,. WHen they whine I just tell them I don't understand whining and when they are finished they can come back and talk to me in a normal voice.

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BTW mine arent twins, but they are 22 months apart and have their own language. My youngest daughter will say something in a babel that she has used since she was a baby, and my oldest will answer in english. They are even starting it with their little brother who is 5 months old. Kinda weird with not being triplets, but I guess its because they are so close in age.
My cousin who does have twins also did this to help her boys learn how to talk.

[deleted account]

As hard as it is, once they hit 1, they are approaching being toddlers quickly, so it needs to be stopped now or it will be harder later. Time outs, the word no, ignoring, redirecting, and I also tell my daughters I cant understand them they need to use words. (granted they are 1 so helping them find the words, or learning a little sign lanuage might help with the barrier). This also helps expand their language skills. They may be getting frustrated because they arent being understood. Which is common but even more common in twins who have their own "language" Say they start fighting over a toy "insert name...if you would like the bunny say bunny please"(make a circle motion on your chest for the word please, help them move their hand to make the same motion. both my girls pat instead of circle) Then show them how to share it or ask them if they want something else. Good luck!

Patricia - posted on 06/10/2011

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children should b spoiled when they're babies. they can't communicate what they want. my son had a temper tantrum at a ski lodge one morning when he was a toddler and that to me is age 2 and up. not 1. i'm not sure why maybe cuz it was such a different place and he was overwhelmed and/or scared and/or over stimulated. he may have had feelings of being there the year before when i dared to venture out and take a run while my sister was watching him?! who knows. all i know is that you can't talk to them until they calm down. i learned this as a professional teacher for emotionally disturbed children. "normal" children do this at these ages however some of the special needs children do it for life. u do not talk to them while they are in their tantrum keep them safe and then do what you can do after, talk about it or just take it for what it was- a frustrating situation for the poor child, or time out for the behavior if it's overdone. you know your child better than anyone else not ever situation has a "pat" answer. my best instinct is now to be loving and constructive no matter what. i walked away from my son when he was lying on the floor kicking and screaming and a beautiful older woman told me "i would've done the same thing." so it let me know that that's what was appropriate. most people do not care if your child is having a problem the only judgmental and intolerant people are the ones who raised kids to b obedient out of fear, forgot what it's like to have little ones, or just don't have kids. when i hear a child crying or screaming at a store i just say "someone must have told that child "no" lol!!" keep spoiling your kids with love.

[deleted account]

I had to start disciplining at that age. time out usually works. Try putting them in their crib for a minute or 2...or until they calm down. Or find a spot to be "time out" and set them there. If they get up and leave before you let them out of time out, swat her on the leg and put her back (that is if you and your husband have chosen to use spankings for punishment). Even now, I make it clear to my 4 year old, he can choose to do his time out or get spanked and put back in time out. I just can't put up with whining.
The rule of thumb for time out is one minute per year of age. However, as they get older you can tell them that their time doesn't start till they stop crying or whining.

User - posted on 04/08/2009

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My son will be a year old in less than a month, and will throw himself and scream now and then as well. When he does this I will just let him be, and after a minute I will ask him if he is done. Be consistant and don't give in, even this young they learn and know. Don't laugh at them when they are doing something naughty even if they look cute doing it. Correct the bad behavior, tell them it is "naughty". Ignore the tantrums, as hard as it is.

Jamie - posted on 04/08/2009

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Its about being consistent and firm. Even at one a child can understand no. And also ignoreing a fit can work but not with all kids, this didnt work with my daughter, I would pick her up and put her in her room and tell her when she was ready to act like a big girl she could come out. She would scream a few seconds then come out and be fine.

[deleted account]

the key to any disapline it to have the conciquince be greater than the childs desire to get what they want. And you have to be consistant! They are old enough to be disaplined. I would start with something small and find out what works for your kids. Every child is different. For my daughter even at that age time out worked. Now that she's older (5) getting her toys taken away or having to do a job when she misbehave works. Children want to please their parents and if they know what behavior is and isn't acceptable they will follow your lead. But if you are not consistant you can forget any form a dicipline because it won't work. Good Luck to you and your twins :)

Jill - posted on 04/08/2009

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My twin boys are 18mos, and one of them throws major tantrums. He got to the point where he was banging the back of his head on the floor. I do try to ignore it, until he begins to hurt himself. I just keep reminding myself that this is their form of communication, and just deal with it however I can. I tell myself it won't last forever (I hope, LOL)

Jen - posted on 04/08/2009

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Welcome to toddlerhood lol. You can actually do a few things. You can put them in timeout for about a min. We put our daughter in the hallway so that she's away from her toys and any distractions. You can try redirection which is just removing them from the situation (it's very similar to time out). If they're throwing a fit you can just ignore them. I know it sounds like such a bad thing to do, but it can work. I'm learning to have to ignore my daughter's fits (she's 16 months going on13 years lol). Believe it or not her fits for not getting her way are starting to go away. Just keep in mind that the same treatment may not work for each girl. All kids are different, but you'll see what disipline works the best. The key is consistency so when you choose something stick with it, Also don't laugh at them when they're in trouble (my daughter does some funny things when she's mad), it will only make them take punishment less serious. Good luck.

Christy - posted on 04/08/2009

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Sounds like you are giving them attention when they do that. I would put them in a short time out and let them know that tantrums will not be tolerated.

Serena - posted on 04/08/2009

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my twins did the same thing when they were that age. We just ignored them, and after a couple days they discovered that having a fit wouldn't get them what they want. When you pay attention to bad behavior, it feeds it, and gives them power. At least that is how it was with my girls. If we were out in public and they decided to throw themselves on the ground we would just pick them up and go home- no matter what we were doing. Once we decided to ignore the fits they went away. The girls are 3 now, and occasionally they will test us by throwing a tantrum, but it never last more than a couple minutes, because they just get ignored. Hope this helps!

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