Discipline help

Cyndel - posted on 06/07/2012

He isn't hitting for the pleasure of it, there is an underlying emotion that you need to find and address.
Whether it is anger, fear, loneliness, boredom; figure out what it is and address it. If it is anger, let him know it is ok to be angry but it isn't ok to hit people or things that could break when angry, if he can't stop hitting give him a pillow or take him to his bed to hit the mattress. But better still help him find less violent means to relieve his anger (I clean house, go for a walk or run etc, lets out the pent up anger and energy without hurting anyone or anything). Also ask what made him angry and find a solution, whether it is a different way of looking at the situation, or a change in routine, or the way you react to him.
If he is afraid then find out why and help him find other meathods of dealing with fear, etc.

As for no, I suggest a couple of things,
a) make sure he has a couple of choices when possible, let him choose between eggs and cereal for breakfast, help HIM pick out his cloths vetoing only when socially necessary or other rules apply, etc.
b) let him know when he doesn't have choices (brushing teeth, bed time, no snacks after dinner, sitting in his car seat not the front seat etc) and stick to it except when absolutely necessary.
c) let him know it is ok to say no, it is good to say no, even to adults, my children will be allowed to say no to hugs, or snacks, etc.
d)always give a set of warnings when something is about to happen, I always give my son a 5 minute warning when we are going to leave the park, then again at 3 minutes, then again at 1 minute. I rarely have trouble leaving a park when I do this. Same thing with nap/bed times. When he'll have to stop playing for dinner, or bath time. Sometimes instead of a time warning I'll say, DS you can slide 2 more times then we have to go. This is the best advise I was ever given.

But basically the best thing you can do is figure out the triggers for his behavior and set him up to succeed by giving him the tools he needs to deal with his emotions, he is still little more then a baby, filled with big emotions that over whelm and are impossible to control, it is our job to either keep them out of situations until they are mature enough to handle them or give them the tools needed to deal with issues that they need to learn to deal with.

Gretchen - posted on 06/07/2012

Thanks to all of you! I have actually thought of strapping her down in time-out but I live with people who work 3rd so its kinda hard to let her throw a fit and scream!

Ashley - posted on 06/03/2012

sometimes a childs behavior continues because of our reactions, what i mean is what do you say and do when she hits? what i did for mine when he was younger when i did do timeout is strap him into his high chair and stick him in the corner. do you talk or respond when she's in timeout or do you completely ignore her? is she throws stuff out of her crib move everything out of the crib and anything she can reach from the crib move it out of range. i completely understand the losing your marbles thing, another thought, my husband as a child and my oldest son are very sensitive to anything with red 40 in it. red 40 is some nasty stuff that alters the chemicals in the brain and some children are more sensitive to it then others. my husband as a child wouldn't listen his mom would tell him on thing and he'd do the opposite, no discipline worked etc.a real nightmare! his mom found out about the feingold diet (not really a diet but it eliminates all fake food colors, preservatives, carmel coloring, artifical flavors etc) and within a week of him getting that stuff out of his system he was like a new kid. everyone noticed the difference in his behavior. anyway red40 is the worst of the worst so maybe try not giving her anything with red 40 in it for a couple of weeks on top of the regular discipline and see if that changes anthing.
sorry so long but all this artifical stuff that kids eat really does affect the brain and ability to function. i know from experience when we got our son off red 40 is was very noticable.

Clare - posted on 06/02/2012

I know this might seem strange but try using a deeper more firm voice when talking to her. She may also respond better to men because she can hear them better. Does she have a Father figure or any other men in her life you could test this with? Have you ever sat next to a car at the traffic lights and all you can hear is the bass? You may even know the song but can't recognize it because the treble is muffled out. Maybe your voice is not being heard or maybe she just doesn't take you seriously because you don't sound firm enough. Just a thought. I could be wrong but there is no harm in giving it a try.

Good luck. :-)

Paige Lauren - posted on 06/02/2012

I have a 11 year old daughter and she is going through tough times now...Ur 2 year old will get threw it just love him and be there for him.Nothing negative.........good luck!!!

Tracie - posted on 06/01/2012

Well, since the word discipline means "teach," you can start by modeling the behavior you want to see. If your child sees you losing your temper, they will view that as acceptable and act accordingly.

Two year olds are notorious for challenging behavior. They are very new at this! They don't know where the parameters are so they must constantly test the limits. They are like little scientists! Patience, patience, patience is the key to teaching a two year old. Give lots of praise when things go right, gentle redirection when things go astray, stay calm and stay firm. You know what your rules are. Do not tolerate them being broken. Consequences for deliberately hurtful behavior should be immediate and appropriate. (can't teach a child not to hit by hitting them - see the first rule of modeling desired behavior!)

And don't call names. (brat) Children learn what they live. Best of luck to you!!

Jenny - posted on 05/31/2012

http://www.ahaparenting.com/ask-the-doct...

http://www.ahaparenting.com/ask-the-doct...

http://www.awareparenting.com/answer15.h...

Gretchen - posted on 05/31/2012

I've tried time-out but that is a complete failure! Since that crashed and burned, I put her in the crib when she throws a fit, but then it seems that she throws a bigger one and pushes stuff off her dresser, and everything out of her bed. Shes a complete monster!! I'm losing my marbles! Literally..
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