Disgruntled Ex-Mother in law.

Erin - posted on 01/21/2011 ( 11 moms have responded )

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I was abandoned 2 months after moving across the country, when my daughter was 6 months old by her dad. We werent married and we were 20 years old. She is now turning 5 years old on the 1st of feb, and I have finally made headway trying to get the father to pay child support. Until this child support issue started, I didnt hear from that side of the family. His mother backed his decision up 100% yet still claimed she wanted to be as helpful as possible. She has not once ever called to ask for an update, and I had to force the father to call once in a while, which I gave up doing. Its been nearly a year since Ive heard an actual voice from anybody in that part of the family. Now, since I have had the papers put together to have the father served, all of a sudden I am getting messages on msn from his mother (Daughters grandma) talking about my poor mothering skills and how honorable of her son it is to be sending this money in the first place. She talks about how if it wasnt for her son, I wouldnt be able to raise my child, because I am severely in need of the money. While its true im not rolling in cash, my husband and I do fine without it. I demanded he pay the child support because its something he is legally supposed to do, and its the principle of the matter. He cant get away with not caring.
She has been making claims about how she will come and visit whenever she wants and wants custody and how my husband and I have no right to have my daughter, and blah blah on and on, anything she can think of to irritate me. And its working.
My questions, are what rights does she actually have, and what am I legally allowed to respond with to make her go away without sounding like a jerk. I should add, that they did come 2 years ago to visit us, with no phone call. They called and said "Were a block away coming to visit" and its a 3 day trip from their place to ours. Still I did not deny them from coming into my home. I have been nothing but patient with this family!
Help!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Medic - posted on 01/21/2011

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What she is doing is called harassment..Save everything and simply do not respond. If you do respond simply tell her thank you for your opinion but please stop. And again save EVERYTHING!!!!! Don't argue and do everything in your power to stay composed the judge will see everything.

Kayleigh - posted on 01/21/2011

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courts want the baby with the mom, period. there has to be serious extenuating circumstances for SS to place a child in custody of the grandparents or father... Like serious drug addiction and child abuse/neglect. she has NO case and if i were you I would file a harassment claim asap so that anything she does from here on out illegal and can be used in court if necessary. I wouldn't worry about it too much. she wont get anywhere.

Carolyn - posted on 01/21/2011

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i would just block her and let her spend her money on a lawyer and try her best at what ever crap she thinks she can get away with. One visit in 5 years, and a dead beat dad , and harasing you over msn is hardly a case to be awarded custody.

I'd tell her to shove it and block her from msn. Let her put her money where her mouth is.

thats just me though !

Ange - posted on 01/21/2011

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Jennifer is right you should have everything saved on the computer and in hard copy as that is harrasment and if you have a lawyer I would show it to the lawyer and see where you can take it

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11 Comments

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Lisa - posted on 01/22/2011

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If I were in your shoes I would talk to my husband about legally abopting my daughter and instead of making a dead beat dad pay child support I would make him sign over his rights so a really man could take care of my child. As for his mother I would politely say you didnt care 5 years ago so please spare my daughters feelings and dont pretend to care now.

Carolyn - posted on 01/22/2011

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she might just be trying to scare you into backing off her son's financial responsibility.

ignore her.

Kerrie - posted on 01/22/2011

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she has no legal rights as far as i know my friend had same problem.
as for her comments it sounds to me that it makes her feel better by not admitting her son has failed as a father!! and blaming you. i know its easier said than done but i would be inclined to try to let her get on with it as they have NO rights!! you know your a good mum and so long as your daughter is healthy clean and happy nothing else matters

Alex - posted on 01/21/2011

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LOL i love how people threaten to take away peoples kids when they clearly havnt done any research on it. I mean the likely hood of them ever getting your child is about 0.1 in 1billion. Make sure your polite and say can you please stop harrasing me If you would like visitation im happy to organize it with a mediator but dont be afraid to go to court lol they will never take your kid away

Lindsey - posted on 01/21/2011

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wow...just like the other ladies are saying, save everything she says and take it to a lawyer and that will shut her up real quick and nice like. she wants to get the best of you because obviously she doesnt have a life and she's miserable and like they say misery loves company. keep doing what you doing supporting your daughter and be the best mom you can be and the childs grandmother can kick rocks

Erin - posted on 01/21/2011

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I didnt see the point in responding, its like talking to a wall anyway, so why bother.
Thanks for the input :)

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