do not send your child to school or daycare if they are sick!

Gemma - posted on 06/30/2009 ( 33 moms have responded )

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Please if your child is sick or unwell, please do not send them to daycare or school. I do the right thing and keep my son home when he is sick so he won't pass it on to other kids. But unfortuantly there are some parents who dont do the same! it makes me angry, have some consideration for the other kids and their families. we have been sick every 2 weeks. my daughter is only 4 months old and already she has had, the cold. 3 times, bronclioitis, gastro and conjunctivitus, all which my son has brought home from daycare, its not fair!

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Amanda - posted on 06/30/2009

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Quoting Jasmine:

I can see both sides to this, I have a daughter in day care one day a week and every week she has come home with something (she has only been going for 3 weeks) at first I was very angry that other parents were sending their kids to day care when they are sick. But then I started thinking about why they do it, if they are working and can't get the time off work, and they have no other alternatives then they have to send the kids to day care. Once a parent uses up their sick days for the year then if they have more days off then they won't get paid for those days and still having to pay for day care if your kid can't go can really have a bad impact on finances for families. I myself won't send my daughter if she is sick (she stayed home today) but then I work from home and can do that without worry of lost income, other families just don't have that option. I agree however that if your kid is really sick with fever or vomitting then they shouldn't be sent to day care at all but for minor ailments sometimes it just isn't possible.



its called finding back up care.

Shaun - posted on 09/02/2012

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What some parent's do not think about( when they said there kid to school sick) is that my child will get it. He has asthma and allergies. I hear parent's all the time say it's only a cold or virus. Well for many kids like my son that cold or virus turns into way more for him. He takes meds everday to control this but a cold or virus for him usually means a hospital stay. I understand the need to work and not miss work or school days but cripe it is not just about you and your family. I have been told by a parent I should just home school my son if he can't handle being at school around kids with colds. Well, maybe you should truley think about sending your kid to school sick so I wouldn't have to seperate my kid from the social part of being around other kids. Just think how your child feels about being at school not feeling good. How well do you do when your sick? A kid who is sick should be able to rest and not be at school.

Jaime - posted on 07/06/2009

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Based on the majority of the posts on this thread, there is a very passionate lean toward the idea that parents more often than not, purposely send their children to daycare sick...I don't believe this is true at all. Certainly there are children that go to daycare sick, but as to the level of their illness from the time they wake up in the morning to the time they get to first snack at daycare, that can only be determined by each individual child (and the strength of their immune system). I can certainly see how people would get angry at the thought of a parent purposely sending their child to school and chalk it up to laziness, but until one has actually been in the position of said parent, one cannot claim that there is any validity to the absurd idea that the action is pre-meditated.

As for people that do not immunize their children for religious reasons or otherwise, of course it is unsettling at the thought of their child interacting with society and potentially spreading a plethora of germs and diseases that are undetectable until they fully incapacitate a child, but people cannot be forced to immunize their children and being verbally spiteful toward them is not going to change this fact. The other thing to take into consideration is that children are always getting sick because their immune systems are constantly strengthening and developing...and it really doesn't matter where they are: daycare, grocery store, walking to the car...if there is a virus near by it will seek them out. That is not to say that people should not be frustrated by the constant cycling of illness at daycare, but more over, they should attempt to understand the risk they undertake by utilizing daycare facilities and should perhaps make their child care arrangements in accordance with what they are comfortable exposing their children to. I believe that for the most part, daycares do the absolute BEST they can to ensure a safe, clean environment for a range of ages...but even with the most dilligent cleaning abilities, viruses and diseases find their way around.

When kids get sick our worlds end for a short time (and maybe a long time) because as parents--and for the most part moms, we get an overwhelming sense of duty to care for our child until they are better no matter what the cost....so when society piles on the stress of full time work with only 3 sick days per year, it is very clear to me, the ease with which some parents send their children out sick. Bullying mothers/parents and insisting that when children are sick their parents should be at home caring for them, does not offer support for an extremely difficult situation, rather it offers criticism for a person's choice to work outside the home, suggesting that the children do not come first and particularly when they are sick. It is extremely unfair and cowardly to sit behind a computer screen and judge other parents for choices they have made, without considering their side of the story and getting all of the details. To approach such a topic with intense anger, suggests an overwhelming feeling of failure on the part of any parent that has done their best to prevent the inevitable exposure of their children to the less favouable realities of the world. And rather than accept these realities we react to them in ways that cannot possibly yeild any benefits to ourselves or our children.

Hating the fact that parents bring their children to daycare sick will not change the fact that there are communicable diseases in this world that are unavoidable and all we can really do to decrease the likelihood of our children being sick for the better part of their childhood, is to do what we feel is in their best interest and be confident in our decisions.

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Jaime - posted on 07/07/2009

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Quoting Jamie:

Ok if you didnt notice until lunch how do you know he was like that when dropped off? you dont since you didnt see til hours later. And its nice you can make time up for work. I cant. I can only be here when the docs are here so there is no evening or weekend option for me. And thats the same for a lot of jobs. I get your point, my point is not everyone can afford it and not every kid appears sick when dropped off. It obvious if your kid is puking or had diahrea but if they get a fever in the afternoon how is a parent supposed to know?


Exactly my point...and that is why I feel that unless one knows for certain that a parent is purposely disregarding the policies of the daycare, then the normal risks assumed when we enroll our children in these programs must be considered first and foremost.  I agree with the double-edged sword and the catch 22 reality of this kind of situation because you're damned if you do and damned if you don't!  It is frustrating when kids get sick, especially when they catch it from other kids...but the fact is that it is unavoidable even without the influence of daycare exposure.  It's not pleasant, it's not fun, it's just part and parcel of parenting.  Our kids are always number 1, and in being the top priority, employment and income of some form is a necessity which some parents cannot afford to lose out on even for one day...and many don't have the option of a 'back up plan' as has also been suggested.  That is not to say that sending a fevered child to daycare is the right thing to do, but considering all of the odds stacked against us (especially in these recession days), finding alternative child care is almost impossible.  I am a single Mom and staying at home for the moment, but in a few short months I too will need to worry about child care for my Son while I go back to work...I'm not looking forward to the challenges I know I will face!

Jamie - posted on 07/07/2009

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Ok if you didnt notice until lunch how do you know he was like that when dropped off? you dont since you didnt see til hours later. And its nice you can make time up for work. I cant. I can only be here when the docs are here so there is no evening or weekend option for me. And thats the same for a lot of jobs. I get your point, my point is not everyone can afford it and not every kid appears sick when dropped off. It obvious if your kid is puking or had diahrea but if they get a fever in the afternoon how is a parent supposed to know?

[deleted account]

No, I don't get sick days. If I miss work, I need to make up that time, usually at night or on the weekends when my husband can be home with the baby. And as for leaving my child at daycare, I unfortunately didn't notice until I stopped by at lunch, since the sick child arrived after my son that morning. Apparently a morning's worth of playing with the same toys was enough time for my son to catch it.

But my point was that I had to sign a contract when I enrolled my son in care at the beginning in which I agreed to certain policies - like picking him up on time and not bringing him in when he has a fever or a contagious virus. If a parent can't abide by the rules of a daycare, they should find a different one. Mine has rules which I follow, and I find it frustrating when other parents decide they don't apply to them.

Jamie - posted on 07/07/2009

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Quoting Jenifer:

I don't think it is judgmental to expect parents to stay home with sick kids instead of sending them off to daycare. My husband and I work full-time and don't have family around to rely on for childcare. When my son is sick - whether it is an ear infection, fever, or just the sniffles - we stay home. Our daycare's policy is that sick kids shouldn't come in, so we don't take him.

I know sometimes you don't know a child is sick when you drop them off in the morning, but I know in my son's classroom that isn't always the case. About a month ago, I noticed a baby in my son's room very obviously had a bad case of conjunctivitis. There's no way that baby's parents didn't notice it. Sure enough, my son had it a few days later. I kept my baby home and missed work while he was on antibiotics. Three weeks later, I still have pink eye - apparently these viruses that go around daycare are pretty tough! We can't always protect our child and other children from diseases, but I think we should be doing all that we can.



Its wonderful but do you get sick days? I know I dont, as a sub-contractor I dont get sick days, vacation days or holiday pay. So if Im not here I lose money, yet I still have to pay my daycare, so its kind of a double edge sword. Do you know July 3rd my daycare was closed so I was unable to come to work( DH is military and no one else around), yet I still have to pay the daycare $70 bucks for that one day? So I not only lost a days pay but have to fork out money. A lot of people dont get sick days, that mom that works at the gas station where you get your gas, Ive been her, guess what no sick days.   And if you saw your child had a sick kid in thier class and left him there doesnt that kind of make you respondisble  to either 1) not leave your child there or 2) bring it up to the daycare workers that child is sick and insist he be sent home.  It may not be your job to point it out but if its the germs you want away from your kid then speak up.

Jaime - posted on 07/06/2009

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I was not referring to the expectation of parents to stay at home with their sick kids as being judgmental...what I found to be judgmental was the assumption that parent's that did not stay home with sick kids, were not putting the kids first and that parents SHOULD stay home with the kids, etc. My point was that we do not know the particulars of any situation greater than our own, so the judgment is not necessary.

[deleted account]

I don't think it is judgmental to expect parents to stay home with sick kids instead of sending them off to daycare. My husband and I work full-time and don't have family around to rely on for childcare. When my son is sick - whether it is an ear infection, fever, or just the sniffles - we stay home. Our daycare's policy is that sick kids shouldn't come in, so we don't take him.

I know sometimes you don't know a child is sick when you drop them off in the morning, but I know in my son's classroom that isn't always the case. About a month ago, I noticed a baby in my son's room very obviously had a bad case of conjunctivitis. There's no way that baby's parents didn't notice it. Sure enough, my son had it a few days later. I kept my baby home and missed work while he was on antibiotics. Three weeks later, I still have pink eye - apparently these viruses that go around daycare are pretty tough! We can't always protect our child and other children from diseases, but I think we should be doing all that we can.

Jamie - posted on 07/05/2009

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This is something we are going to be dealing with for a long time. right now its daycare, next its elementary school.

[deleted account]

As a daycare toddler teacher, I agree with you guys, that's not fair! My gripe is that when the staff comes in sick and they don't think that what they have won't spead to the children? Come on, I think everyone, parents and staff needs to use some good judgement. I'm only venting because my son goes to the daycare that i am employed in and his teacher was sick and guess who caught what she had? of course my son did and I had to stay home from work so that he was over his stomach bug and guess who caught the bug? My whole entire family..........That was a wonderful day in the jackson household I tell ya!

Sarah - posted on 07/05/2009

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I am a teacher at a child care and there are alot of reasons why some parents dont keep their kids at home. there are a few who are just plain lazy and dont want to deal with a sick kid and that annoys me. but there are some who do not have very understanding bosses who give them a hard time when they try to call out. they have told me that they know their kid is sick and it is easier for them at work to have daycare call and say their kid is sick than for them to try to call out.

also being a staff member at the daycare where my child attends there are very different standards of "sick" i called out on a thursday because my daughter was getting sick and took her to the doctor, i tried to call out again on friday because she was still really sick but they wouldnt let me so i had to bring her to school. and then saturday night we had a trip to the ER because she was dehydrated and then on monday she was admitted into the pediatric unit for a week.



unfortunately germs are just a part of daycare that we all have to deal with

Alyssa - posted on 07/05/2009

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I work at a child development center in the two year old classroom....and there is nothing worse than a two year old who doesnt feel well...how do parents think we are going to deal with the other 15 children in the classroom and take care of their sick child at the same time...it is hard enough to deal with 16 two year olds all day...and to throw a sick one into the mix is the hardest...and yes i understand that parents have jobs...but I cant do mine while dealing with your sick child it makes it very hard...and their are other children at the daycare also...they shouldnt be allowed to be around that child.....they will not get better being at school because they cannot get the rest they really need..

Jamie - posted on 07/05/2009

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Quoting Onawa:

I totally agree, my daughter had been i ndaycare for 2 months, and the second week she was there she got a cold and ear infection. NOw for those 2 months she was not getting better and after many trip to the e.r and doc we found out that her immunities are severly low and her body cantr fight off infection like other kids. so i agree please leave your kids home if they are ill.



Ear infections arent something you catch from other kids. A cold definitly, but not ear infections. Mt kids have had tons of them and it has to do with whats going on inside thier ears.

Onawa - posted on 07/02/2009

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I totally agree, my daughter had been i ndaycare for 2 months, and the second week she was there she got a cold and ear infection. NOw for those 2 months she was not getting better and after many trip to the e.r and doc we found out that her immunities are severly low and her body cantr fight off infection like other kids. so i agree please leave your kids home if they are ill.

Kelly - posted on 07/02/2009

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My son goes to a home daycare and the lady that watches him told me from the start that she takes sick kids.....obviously if your child is really ill than you would stay home, but for most colds and just the normal illnesses she will take them......i think that as long as its nothing that could really harm the child, than i think thats ok, they say that if they are sick all the time when they are little than they will be healthier when they are older......but i do think that you should keep your child home from school.......how are they going to lurn if they are sick......

Vanessa - posted on 07/02/2009

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No, I hate when people do that because my daughter always catches it and the last time she got sick she almost ended up in hospital because of it.

Gemma - posted on 07/02/2009

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oh yeah, i think the schools and daycares need to be more strict and call up the kids parents to pick them up, or not accept them at the beginning of the day. I am going to have a word with my daycare about this, I wouldn't mind if they called me to pick my child up if they were sick at school. There is one boy in particular that my little boy likes to play with that is sick alot. The day carers try to cover it up, One day I went to pick my son up and this kid was sitting on the toilet......he had (excuse me) poo - diarea, all over him and all over the floor, This was when a tummy bug was going around. I asked one of the carers if there were sick kids that day, and she was like "oh no it was just an accident"..............yeah right, I'm not stupid I know the difference between a kid that has accidently pooped his pants and one that has a massive case of the runs. anyway we all got gastro, including my 3 week old, its not fun trying to look after a newborn when you can hardly get out of bed!

Elizabeth - posted on 07/01/2009

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I agree. Our daycare (which my son only goes to occasionally for hourly care), has strict policies on sick kids. If they have a fever, are cranky, or have any signs of being sick, they simply have to stay home.

Amanda - posted on 07/01/2009

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Quoting Jamie:



Quoting Moselle:

I don't immunize due to religious reasons, but I would at least have the courtesy to keep my child home if they were sick for any reason... especially something like rubella! Come on, people! If you're going to make certain choices you need to be responsible about it.






Do you realize some diseases are in your childs system and can be spread even before your child shows signs? So you are putting other children at risk every day. Especially in children who are to young to get certain shots? So you are irrespondsible and endangering our children. You dont want to immunize then you stay home with your kids. How would you feel if your child got a disease and gave it to an infant and that child died. All because of your beliefs. So you arent being responsible with your own choices.






it happend to my baby (to young for mmr vacine), she was on an IV for a week and we were the only ones allowed in her isolation unit at the hospital

Jamie - posted on 07/01/2009

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I dont think anyone should be sending their kid to school with a fever, vomiting or diahrea. Thats nasty. But I know my daycare sometimes goes over board. They called me last week to come pick my son up because he had a fever of 100.1. Which isnt really a fever. But i went and got him and took him to the doc to get checked out since hes had ear problems. The could find nothing wrong with him. No fever, no runny nose, no cough, ears were clear, tonsils were fine. Come to find out they took his temp after they had been outside playing, hello, i live in the desert. But I had to keep him out that day and the following day, even though the doc wrote a note to them. Which to me wasnt fair. I get paid hourly and lost a day and halfs pay. But still had to pay for it.

Jamie - posted on 07/01/2009

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Quoting Moselle:

I don't immunize due to religious reasons, but I would at least have the courtesy to keep my child home if they were sick for any reason... especially something like rubella! Come on, people! If you're going to make certain choices you need to be responsible about it.



Do you realize some diseases are in your childs system and can be spread even before your child shows signs? So you are putting other children at risk every day. Especially in children who are to young to get certain shots? So you are irrespondsible and endangering our children. You dont want to immunize then you stay home with your kids. How would you feel if your child got a disease and gave it to an infant and that child died. All because of your beliefs. So you arent being responsible with your own choices.

Francesca - posted on 07/01/2009

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not only is it wrong to send a sick child to school, its un fair to all the other children there. some mothers are so selfish.

my ss's mother sends the boys to school if their sick and it (excuse me now), pisses me off!!!! last time it happened my eldest ss was sick all night,she kept him off 1 day, he still wasn't eating the next day and she sent him to school. that poor child.

the youngest is always sent to preschool with stinking colds and it fustrates me and my husband

Abby - posted on 07/01/2009

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unfortunately when u have a child u must make sacrifices, if ur bubba is ill, you look after them. no questions asked. i have a friend with 4 children of 7, 5 and twins of 2. when she came back to work they were all getting poorly so she'd have to keep on leaving, but u just have too deal with a loss of income. ur baby should be most important.

when we feel poorly we wanna be tucked up and given tlc, why is a child any diffferent. if u have a stinking cold then u dont wanna be doing anything so why shld u be sending ill children out.



i agree with amanda i know if i was in that situation i'd organise something, not make an ill child go to schl.

Amanda - posted on 06/30/2009

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Quoting Loureen:

as a teacher it is infuriating when parents send their children to school sick and they know full well . only to be called to pick them up when they are vomiting and running a high temp . poor little children just want to be home getting some TLC anyways . i actually had a parent send their unimmunised child to school who had contracted rubella while i was pregnant , my unborn baby could have been , blinded , severly brain damaged or dead !! so irresponsible .



Oh my god that is horrible! I cant believe someone would be so irresponsible and careless for the people her child may have infected. god if people choose not to imunize (totally diferent debate) they should at least be decent enough to protect our kids from illness.



I know when my kids are ill they just want to be home and cozy on the couch with some cartoons and a warm blanket, I cant imagine making my daughter go sit in a desk for 6 hours when she has the flu! its just mean.

Amanda - posted on 06/30/2009

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this pisses me off SO MUCH. parents that send their sick kids to my home daycare trying to pass them off as healthy. uggh I hat it and my baby has a weak imune system and has allready been in hospital twice because an inconsiderate parent decided to send the kid sick. I always send ill kids home and it makes the parents so mad. some eve change day cares but I really dont care.

do us all a favor parents and keep your ill kids home. have some consideration for other peoples families.

Moselle - posted on 06/30/2009

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I don't immunize due to religious reasons, but I would at least have the courtesy to keep my child home if they were sick for any reason... especially something like rubella! Come on, people! If you're going to make certain choices you need to be responsible about it.

[deleted account]

I can see both sides to this, I have a daughter in day care one day a week and every week she has come home with something (she has only been going for 3 weeks) at first I was very angry that other parents were sending their kids to day care when they are sick. But then I started thinking about why they do it, if they are working and can't get the time off work, and they have no other alternatives then they have to send the kids to day care. Once a parent uses up their sick days for the year then if they have more days off then they won't get paid for those days and still having to pay for day care if your kid can't go can really have a bad impact on finances for families. I myself won't send my daughter if she is sick (she stayed home today) but then I work from home and can do that without worry of lost income, other families just don't have that option. I agree however that if your kid is really sick with fever or vomitting then they shouldn't be sent to day care at all but for minor ailments sometimes it just isn't possible.

Katy - posted on 06/30/2009

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Oh I agree, it's horrible when other parents don't do the right thing and keep their kids home. I know it can be hard to do sometimes, but other parents and kids shouldn't have to pay for your difficulties. Anytime my daughter has been sick , we keep her home, within reason. If there's a fever, she stays home, if it's something that can spread, we don't send her. Common courtesy....

Dana - posted on 06/30/2009

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Oh thank you! That pisses me off to no end. Unfortunately, my sister in law is one of these people and my daughter and nephew are in the same class. So not only do I get mad when my child gets sick b/c of an irresponsible parent, but that parent is alot of times my sister in law so it causes problems at family get togethers. She'll take time off to get her hair done or go to an amusement park or to take a nap, but she won't take time off when my nephew is sick. I really would just like to slap the parents that do this. And the kids shouldn't have to be there! They should be at home snuggling with mommy or daddy when they don't feel good! Ugh.

Charlie - posted on 06/30/2009

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as a teacher it is infuriating when parents send their children to school sick and they know full well . only to be called to pick them up when they are vomiting and running a high temp . poor little children just want to be home getting some TLC anyways . i actually had a parent send their unimmunised child to school who had contracted rubella while i was pregnant , my unborn baby could have been , blinded , severly brain damaged or dead !! so irresponsible .

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