Does a child need to go outside everyday?

Sharron - posted on 06/02/2011 ( 60 moms have responded )

9

14

0

I live with two very messy people and I'm left with a ton of housework everyday. So my daughter and I don't go out a lot. I feel terrible but i'm trying to maintain a clean safe environment for my baby girl. My bf (her father) complains about us not going out everyday and his mother (we live with her) says the same thing. I don't know what to listen to. Complaints about the dishes or complaints about not taking my little one out to play. Frustrated...

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Rebecca - posted on 06/03/2011

100

23

19

Jennifer the smaller poem I have scrapbooked and here is the on in my house

What Did You Do Today?

Today I left some dishes dirty,
The bed got made around 3:30.
The diapers soaked a little longer,
The odor grew a little stronger.
The crumbs I spilled the day before,
Are staring at me from the floor.
The fingerprints there on the wall,
Will likely be there still next fall.
The dirty streaks on those window panes,
Will still be there next time it rains.
Shame on you, you sit and say,
Just what did you do today?

I nursed a baby till he slept,
I held a toddler while he wept,
I played a game of hide and seek,
I squeezed a toy so it would squeak.
I pulled a wagon, sang a song,
Taught a child right from wrong.
What did I do this whole day through?
Not much that shows, I guess it’s true.
Unless you think that what I’ve done,
Might be important to someone,
With bright blue eyes and soft blond hair,
If that is true … I’ve done my share.

Author Unknown

Candice - posted on 06/02/2011

246

1

11

Why the eff aren't they doing anything? Those 2 can stop being asshats and play with baby or do housular crap so you can go out and play. Housewifery is for the damn bird. 'tain't the 50s anymore folks.

Rebecca - posted on 06/02/2011

100

23

19

'' Cooking and cleaning can wait till tomorrow, for babies grow up as we've learned to our sorrow so quiet down cobwebs dust go to sleep I'm rocking my baby 'cause babies don't keep.''
I have a longer version of this framed in my house if anybody comments on my house keeping I just point it out play outside with your little one cause you'll never get that back

[deleted account]

We don't go outside everyday. All there is, is the parking lot of our 4-plex right now. I don't really like her playing there. We do have a small deck that I let her go out on. It has a half wall so I'm not worried about her falling at all. As the weather becomes more predictable in the summer I'll most likely take her for walks.

I would honestly ask them, "Would you rather have dirty dishes and have her go outside; or clean ones and have her stay inside?" If it will end up being a loose loose situation. I'd just ignore them and make sure they know you are doing your best, or hey THEY can take her outside. Either way it might be a good idea to get her out at least once a week as the summer goes on.

April - posted on 06/09/2011

17

11

0

You are in a very delicate situation, where it's damned if you do, damned if you don't. A clean safe environment is all our expectations, but sometimes, things get overwhelmed, and you are tired. Don't spend to much time on that. Living in someone else house, you do feel obligated to help out, just do enough where your little one is safe, then take her outside to play. I noticed when I keep my little one in the house on cleaning day, he has a lot more energy. Just try and balance. Don't listen to either one of them. If they are willing to provide solutions and just complian, ignore them. Enjoy your daughter and save up enough to move the hell out. Nothing more stressful then nagging family. You have enough to worry about then to deal with both of their complitching (bitching and complaining).

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

60 Comments

View replies by

Tatiana - posted on 07/01/2014

3

0

1

I say just do what you can. I don't take my children outside everyday either but I make it priority to go outside at least every other day. We have great adventures that we discover. There are days I leave dishes, unfolded clothes, non-mopped floors and much more undone for that day. I also go to school full time so its all about balance. Making sure I put a smile on my twin girls face is all that matters to me

Kelsha - posted on 06/30/2014

1

0

0

Hi I can very much relate to your situation I'm a single mom I have 2 kids who are very active sometimes its hard to keep the place sparkling clean and its one chore after another sometimes u just have to breathe and take time for yourself and of course your children chores and other comittments can be overwhelming but u should make time to for your kids like take them to the park 3 times a week if u can't everyday or play groups or a camp so he / she can interact and socialize with other kids I personally can't keep my Kids indoor all day they will drive me crazy even in the winter months we went out lol hope this helps

[deleted account]

@Jane
My toddler goes to bed at 8pm. In the summer, the sun stays out well past 8 here and its still very very hot. I can let her stay up past 8 some nights, but when I do shes cranky and not wanting to do much of anything. Shes a routine kind of girl.
Today we are not going outside to play, we are going out to dinner with grandma later though. We played outside yesterday so I think thats good enough. Instead of going outside, we are inside dancing to music :)

Jane - posted on 06/09/2011

2,390

262

484

@Karen - What about in the early evening? Some of my best memories are being outside in the early evening in Connecticut when I was a kid, chasing lightning bugs.

[deleted account]

Yesterday it was 100 degrees in the North East. Feels like Florida up here again today. With temps like this, I won't be going outside every single day. Its just not doable for us in this heat. What is meant to be fun becomes pure misery.
@ Jane - We will get our vitamin D another way until this heat wave passes.

Amy - posted on 06/08/2011

58

29

5

I'd suggest that your boyfriend and mother-in-law do one of the chores while you do the other. How dare they dictate when they're not helping you. Tell them to get their bums in gear and help you out! Good luck :)

Samantha - posted on 06/08/2011

8

7

1

hi i used to clean my house up everyday but now as long as i can get out with the three kids of mine thats more important as kids should come fristd in everyday life i now its hard. i used to live with my mum and she woting me to do all the house work but i found i was not going out and the kids needs to so i sat down and sayd look i am only going to do house work when the kids go to bed so that wot i did justd an houer day wot ever did not get down it had to wait but as there was three older peoply in the house we all got on with diffent things other wise it never got done its hard to start with but in the end it does work i now ur not a kid but do a listd how does wot that way u now were you stand even now i av a reted place and me and my partner does this but we dont need a list as we now wot we need to do every day.hopy this will help u.justd remeber kids come fristd.

Bethany - posted on 06/07/2011

6

10

0

I say forget the dishes...they will be there when you come back in and the kids are in bed. If they are complaining then let them do the housework and go enjoy your little ones....they are little only once! Not saying to completely let the housework go ( i guess there has to be a balance) but even if you take your girl out for just a 1/2 hour - 1 hour a day is sufficient or a few times a week. Go enjoy her while she is little....once she is grown up, you will not have it to do over again. She will thank you for the time you spent with her.

Janessa - posted on 06/07/2011

289

10

0

I kind of have 2 sets of advice, Yes it is important to keep a clean safe environment, but you also have to remember your daughter and your family will only be this small once, but dishes and everything else will be there always. So how to come up with a compromise. I do a couple of things, I only clean when my little ones are sleeping so I don't miss any time with them, and this is their nap time, not night time. Then I also have a schedule, for example I have my laundry days, and I will only do laundry on those days no matter what. I divide the cleaning by days. The only things I do on a daily basis are dishes and sweeping, but because I do it on a daily basis, it doesn't usually take too long. Mopping, vacuuming, cleaning the bathroom ect, ect are done on planned days and only those days during their nap time. This keeps my house sanitary if not perfect, and that is all that matters, and frees up time you absolutely need for your little ones. Hope that helps. Also if your daughter is old enough to help, make sure it is she cleaning up her messes. (Toys, ect),

Jane - posted on 06/07/2011

2,390

262

484

Everybody should go outside every day. It's how your body makes Vitamin D, to keep your bones strong. Without Vitamin D you develop a problem called rickets, which results in small stature and bowed legs.

In addition, going outside with your child can be a great bonding experience. It is also a good time to get your child to exercise so that she learns that physical activity is fun. This helps set her up for continuing to exercise later on.

It needn't be for long - 20 minutes is enough. Surely you can find that amount of time each day to spend with her outside.

Charlotte - posted on 06/07/2011

3

4

0

my son loves the outdoors and its the only time he is truely happy, i dont get out as much as id like for fun with my son, the school run for my daughter feels like a real effort, i feel opliged to do the housework and then help others (i work for a friend a 3 old ladies- cleaning) but i never actually take him for walks or exploring fun. Motivation and mind of mater is the key i think.

Kara - posted on 06/07/2011

264

27

36

Yes, get your child outside to explore the world - if its raining throw on the rainboots, rain jacket...splash in a puddle...pick up a worm! Our homes will never be spotless...but in the end you'll have a child who will be in love with nature and enjoy the special time she spends with her Mommy!

Tanya - posted on 06/07/2011

16

49

0

YOU SHOULD FIRST OF ALL ALL SHARE THE HOME WORK! THAT WAY EACH OF YU WILL HAVE TIME ON YOUR HANDS TO TAKE HER OUT, EVEN JUST FOR A SHORT WALK. I THINK CHILDREN GET FRUSTRATED STAYING IN SIDE THE WHOLE DAY, FRESH AIR IS ALWAYS GOOD ! GOOD LUCK!

Sathya - posted on 06/06/2011

17

31

0

I understand you, we just own one car and the house chores never seem to be done. so we used to never go out. Now is too hot to do anything, but around 7pm when is not dark yet we go out with the stroller and walk for about 20 minutes, they are happy with that! I PROMISE YOU, this will help you with ur sanity too, I was losing my mind just cooked in the house, plus your baby will relax with you!

Olga - posted on 06/06/2011

5

9

0

WELL IT IS JUST MY OPINION HOUSEWORK SHOULD ALWAYS BE SECOND TO YOUR KIDS FORGET WHAT OTHERS SAY KEEP ON PLAY AREA CLEAN AND SAFE AND LET THE LAUNDRY AND DISHES PILE IF THEY MUST.
BUT
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO GO OUTSIDE EVERYDAY OPEN THE WINDOWS FOR FRESH AIR PLAY AND LOVE YOUR KIDS AND SAVE 'OUTSIDE' FOR SPECIAL FUN

Tiffiny - posted on 06/06/2011

84

32

1

my kids don't get outside everyday..... i'm 9 mths. pregnant w/ my 4th baby and somedays its just to hard..... but they can always use their imaginations playing indoors when u can't go outdoors ..... but u don't have to sit and do chores all day long either..... i actually find it alot easier to do the cleaning after the kids go to bed because then their not tearing everything up while ur cleaning..... and then thats when u get the kids dad to help u out also...... hope this helps

CJ - posted on 06/06/2011

188

27

8

I try to take my daughter outside as often as I can, but we rarely make it out every day of the week. She loves to be outside though, so I try to get her out for at least an hour everyday if I can. Unfortunately, our weather has been rainy and gross, and before that snowy and cold, so i don't have the opportunity to yet, when summer comes we'll probably spend alot of time in the yard. We don't have a good park anywhere nearby though so I have to make special plans to go to the park on occasion. Really I don't see why if they want your daughter to go outside why they don't bring her out when they are home. My daughter gets out more than she would, because my parents (who we live with) take her out with them quite often when they are home. Especially on the weekends, when they aren't working.

Alana - posted on 06/06/2011

76

32

1

i think you should take them out to play. granted they dont need to be out EVERY day, but atleast a few times a week. when its sunny im never out of the garden with my son. he is at school so i do the housework when he's there. but when he was younger i used to get up an hour before him to get most of the housework done so i had time to spend with him.

i think housework can be left for another day/ later on etc. it doesnt matter if your hosue is spotless, alsong as your child is happy healthy and loved.

Jami - posted on 06/06/2011

9

1

0

Maybe say in a nice way that the housework will not be done if you go outside everyday- you never know though maybe leaving the housework and going outside to play with your daughter may help you too feel better too.

Rachel - posted on 06/06/2011

5

21

1

kids need to be outside. i'm sorry but too many parents shelter their children up in the house all day long. sure the kid may play with some toys, but i'm guessing for the most part to keep them out of your hair so you can do your daily housework, you sit them in front of the tv. it's sad to see this is the way parenting has gone. i remember being a kid and hardly ever being inside!! sun, rain, sleet or snow my brothers and I were playing in it all. tv is not a babysitter and yes while it's nice to have a clean house... wouldn't you rather a happier child? a more healthier child? or you can just get up earlier than usual, do your house work, have an hour or 2 of calm inside in the morning while you finish and then spend the day with your kid. go outside, and if you can't make it outside that day, it's ok. do a craft inside. i'm not trying to sound like a b*tch or anything, but i agree with your boyfriend and his mom.... get the child out of the house more.

Sarah - posted on 06/06/2011

14

12

0

Bonding time is more important than have a perfectly clean house. If you can make it outside as much as possible, do it! The vitamin D of the sun is good for them. Plus it let's their mind explore and grow in new surroundings. Plus if you go to a park, it will also give her much needed interaction with other kids that might be around. If they aren't doing anything to help, then they have no room to tell you how to do and what to do. You have a mom and dad and well they aren't them.

Nicky - posted on 06/05/2011

2

12

0

I have found that even 30 mins outside helps my lil one (9months old) sleep much better at night!

Erin - posted on 06/05/2011

100

8

7

I think it's more important to take them out to play. Think of what you'll be missing later in life when you can't do that with her anymore. The dishes can wait. If they start to complain, tell them to help. Plus, taking her outside might get enough energy out to let you get something done later. When I take my son to the park, we not only get to have fun together, but he crashes for at least two hours afterwards :)

Valerie - posted on 06/05/2011

901

29

171

take your child out to play...kids need fresh air twice a day at least...housework is never ending...trust your instincts

Hendyne - posted on 06/05/2011

11

17

1

I agree with Samantha Mutschler. The child needs some outside time. They also, need time to bond with you outside in another atmosphere.

Jenni - posted on 06/05/2011

5,928

34

373

Children and their needs always comes first. My son's an early riser so I use the early morning to do my housework, I also involve my son and daughter in the house chores. My daughter is only 13 months so for her that usually consists of playing in the pile of clothes i'm folding (she has a fascination with trying to put clothes on or just roll around in the pile of clothes). I sing to them and chat with them while I'm cleaning. When my daughter takes her first nap (she takes a 2 hour nap) that is mine and my son's time to go play in the backyard. I take him out every day (weather permitting) because he is a fairly active child. It keeps him happy and he is far less mischievous for the rest of the day if he gets outdoor time. ;) Plus it makes it easier to get him to take a nap. I'll do a little yard work and gardening while we're out and he helps and then we spend the rest of the time exploring or playing.



We come inside at 11am and I make lunch. While they eat I do a bit of tidying up in the kitchen.



I also enlist my son to help clean up after himself when he makes a mess.



I usually tidy up again for about an hour after dinner. All the rest of the time is *their* time.



Btw- all adults in the house should be cleaning up after themselves. You are not their maid. I understand doing a few communal chores but the bulk shouldn't be riding on you.

[deleted account]

Stop living with your boyfriend's mother. Seems like what you're doing is not the problem it's who you're living with. Get out, you can tell her to shut up about how you raise your own kid once you get out of there. Otherwise, best just listen up. She who owns the house makes the rules.

Stefania - posted on 06/05/2011

3

0

0

Leave the dishes and take her out!!!!! I do so :D and if they will complain about the dishes make them do the washing :P

Agnes - posted on 06/05/2011

24

56

0

yes a chid should go out everyday... I also live with messy ppl my hubby :) and my daughter boy do they like to make a mess ..lol...but i do all my cleanning either before i go to bed or first thing in the am...then i have all day with my lil girl we hit the park then if i have things to do we do them home make dinner then back to the park home bath then li lones in bed :) and we do this everyday...even when its raining we go out whar kids dont liek to be outside...and maybe you can ask the ppl you live with to help you out with either housework or maybe they can bring you child out to play...

Jessi - posted on 06/04/2011

522

17

49

Jessica - we have the same issue here....well, sorta! it's hard to take little ones out in wisconsin when it's 20 below, and because we're used to the cold, also on 90 degree days as well.

Jessica - posted on 06/04/2011

114

31

8

I do not take my kids out everyday most likely 2 or 3 times a week weather allowing and as i live in Florida temperatures allowing. When we do go out it is either early morning or late after noon so they do not get to hot.

Kimi - posted on 06/04/2011

486

13

41

Just stop cleaning up after them this summer. You can take your child out and play with her all day long and just go inside to eat, sleep, and bathe. They will get the hint and start to clean up their act and house.

Carly - posted on 06/04/2011

245

41

25

seriously, this isn't even about physically going outside with them as it is about being able to spend any quality time with them. if you are just walking around the house perform maid duties, then that is still not spending quality time with them, indoor or outdoor. the kids need play with their mom and these people should be helping with the chores. i'd make a big chore list and tell them, well- do this or it's not getting done. give them the stuff they can't mess up, like dishes or cleaning the bathroom. "zone" cleaning like ok, you do the bathroom twice a week and i'll do the laundry (i don't let anyone else do my laundry). they can't have any excuse why they can't clean up after themselves. they can either do that or you get 2 big buckets and put all their shit in it at the end of the day give it to them to sort. dirty dishes and all.

Carly - posted on 06/04/2011

245

41

25

seriously, this isn't even about physically going outside with them as it is about being able to spend any quality time with them. if you are just walking around the house perform maid duties, then that is still not spending quality time with them, indoor or outdoor. the kids need play with their mom and these people should be helping with the chores. i'd make a big chore list and tell them, well- do this or it's not getting done. give them the stuff they can't mess up, like dishes or cleaning the bathroom. "zone" cleaning like ok, you do the bathroom twice a week and i'll do the laundry (i don't let anyone else do my laundry). they can't have any excuse why they can't clean up after themselves. they can either do that or you get 2 big buckets and put all their shit in it at the end of the day give it to them to sort. dirty dishes and all.

Megan - posted on 06/04/2011

5

17

0

We go outside everyday unless it's really bad, but it also depends on when we go outside

Jessi - posted on 06/04/2011

522

17

49

sounds similar to me.....i get yelled at for not taking care of my parent's things b/c i'm either taking care of my son, in class, or at work. personally i'd say F*** it and take care of my kid. the other 2 in your home need to pick up after them selves. my parent's rule has always been "you make the mess, you clean it" but somehow my dad always thinks he is exempt from that rule. take a break and take your little girl out to play, you sound like you could use the break anyway!

Somer - posted on 06/04/2011

30

41

1

Can't bf and bf-mom do dishes while you bring your little one out to play? Or at least pitch in with household chores so you guys can. Yes, to answer your question, I absolutely think that if it's safe to go outside (i.e. no blizzard, no lightning, no tornado) then you should spend at least an hour outside each day. It doesn't have to be all day, even just eating lunch outside instead of inside is preferable. Best of luck in your situation!

[deleted account]

I think it's important for kids to be active every day, but that doesn't necessarily mean being outside. I don't know how old your baby is - if she's not walking and running, I really wouldn't worry about how often she gets outside.

And if you're working that hard to keep the house clean, just think - when you are outside, you don't have to worry about your kid getting into the messes that are inside!

Rebecca - posted on 06/04/2011

0

0

1

Kids do need to get outside a fair bit but it won't hurt to stay in occasionally. Have you asked the other adults to contribute to the housework? Perhaps if you explain that the reason you aren't taking your daughter out often is because of the amount of housework you're expected to do. Or even ask if one of them would take her outside sometimes to give you a break. Either way, you need to make it clear that you can't be expected to do all the housework as well as take your daughter out ever day. My house is pretty messy and sometimes I do just leave it if my kids have been stuck inside for more than a couple of days. As my other half does nothing to help around the house, I don't expect him to complain when I haven't done stuff (he still does even when he's in all day and I've been busy all day!). If no-one is prepared to help you out then maybe you can make a point of doing housework in the morning and taking your daughter out during afternoons. If you don't get everything done, don't worry about it. Housework can wait, your daughter's health and happiness can't.

Shannintipton - posted on 06/04/2011

36,025

50

548

My MIL use to wash my husbands bed sheets once a week. Then she would put the sheets on his bed and he had to put the sheet on himself. Knowing her she probably started when he was a baby. lol

Tammy - posted on 06/03/2011

253

2

3

I am so sorry for you that you have to listen to people telling you that. My Mum (thank god we don't live with her) asks me practically every day if I've taken my daughter outside to play and for "fresh air". I can't always take her outside because I take her to indoor activities, such as gym and dance and I am not always able to take her to the playground or the beach, etc. We live in an upstairs condo, btw. I can't wait to move to a house with a yard (hopefully in 2 months!) where it will be so much easier! If my Mum calls, I just open the back door and we are outside! Good luck to you!

Eleanor - posted on 06/03/2011

34

19

0

I agree that if they are complaining, they can help! It is really hard being a mum. With my hubby I talked to him about helping more lately, and after an initial argument (he thought I didn't appreciate what he already did) we set up some mutual expectations, and its made life much less stressful. Even if you have to write a roster, figure out who is going to do what. Even if you're a stay at home mum, doesn't mean you have to do everything!

Italia - posted on 06/03/2011

29

46

0

In the beginning since it was all new to me I thought oh how am I gonna keep a clean house etc. But spending time with my daughter is by far more important than dirty dishes that can be taken care of when she's asleep. If my partner doesn't want to see a messy sink well feel free to help out. We are a team and raising a baby is 24/7 not easy so it's not like I'm on my butt all day! I wish I can use the restroom without my LO there bugging smh haha.
Don't be so hard on yourself they are only babies once and we don't get do overs. I rather hang with my baby while she still wants me around than regret it later when all she wants is her friends.
Good luck with this.

Amanda - posted on 06/03/2011

223

19

2

House work can wait for an hour or two for you to be able to spend some time with your daughter outside. I have twins and I try to get them outside at least once a day weather pending. It lets them expel energy and get a change of scenery from being inside. And the other two can help out with the housework too! they live there and help create all of it. It shouldn't be all your responsibilty.

Carly - posted on 06/03/2011

245

41

25

No, but they need to get their butts in gear and help you out- or chip in for a housekeep to pop over and tidy up once a week, or a mothers' helper to play with them while you pick up after (I'm assuming) 2 grown ass people.

You and the kids deserve a break, it's not fair for anyone.

[deleted account]

We don't go out every single day, but a few times a week. When we go outside, its never just for 15 minutes, so a few times a week seems fine to me. I manage to do my daily cleaning and cooking and still find time to go outside a few times a week.
If someone in that household thinks you aren't doing a good enough job and are barking orders, then most definitely they should be offering to help you. I see no reason Daddy can't take the little one for a wagon ride or something like that while you do what you have to do, if he wants it so badly.

Ashley - posted on 06/03/2011

863

2

155

Stop cleaning up after them, Do your and your daughters laundry dish's beds, and leave them there mess and if they dont clean up after themselves move or at lest tell them your done with there shit. What the hell are they doing all day other than making messes injoy your daughter and if your that worried about it being so messy because they are slobs make a family chore chart and no i dont care if they work and you dont they can pitch in and help. assholes.. i dont get my son out everyday mostly because weather but it is important more important is that your daughter shouldent be seeing you be used your not Cinderella. Best of luck kick some ass

Alecia - posted on 06/03/2011

644

21

43

i try hard to get my daughter out as much as possible, especially during the summer (but we got out all seasons). Riley loves being outside, even in the rain so its a nice enough day ill let her be out in the rain a few minutes. wont hurt. and u cant do it all. tell those lazy f*ckers to do some housework and/or take her outside. but i think u should leave the chores sometimes and just enjoy ur child. before we know it they will all be grown up and wont want us around anymore

Tara - posted on 06/03/2011

155

11

12

It's good for them, yes, but it's not always possible to get outside every day. As for the housework or playing, I do as much as I can when my kids are at school or occupied with something else, but if my kids want to play, chores can wait. No one grows up remembering if the dishes were done right away or if the house was always spotless, when they were growing up. But they will remember the time they spent playing with their parents :)

If you see this, leave this form field blank.
Powered by RESPECT not THUMPS

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms