does age matter???

Caroline - posted on 04/01/2009 ( 21 moms have responded )

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being 20 or 40 do you think age matters???? truth

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Sabrina - posted on 04/01/2009

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I agree with Kristie some younger people are very mature for their age. I know I am, I didn't have an easy childhood and had to grow up fast. I had my son when I was 21, even though me and my husband are both in the military so we are pretty much good on money and can give our baby everything he needs. But then there are some immature young people and even older people who want to act like a kid and "party" all the time. I thinks more a maturity level than an age thing.

Gemma - posted on 04/02/2009

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id just like to say that Ericka Salary saying that if you like a night out your not mature anothe to be a perent....i love my night with the kids and taken them on days out but every body needs time to be there self and not mummy i like to go out every now and a gain and b gemma as long as i no my boys are safe and being cared for..and this is not related to age my parents wernt young but they still had a night out every now and then

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No I think it is maturity and flexibilty that matters. If you think your nights out partying are better than a movie night with the kids your not mature enough to be a parent and with the way kids grow and change constantly you have to have the fliexibilty of a child and be able to grow and change with them. If you are like me and lack a little of both hopefully you have enough maturity like me to know when to ask for help.

Kristie - posted on 04/01/2009

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I think it depends on the maturity and mindset of the person regardless of age

Rebekah - posted on 04/01/2009

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I was 16 with my first child. Although yes i didnt have alot of money or a career but i cant see the point of starting a career only to interupt it to have children. My plans are to study once all of my kids are in school this way when they are in high school and an appropriate age to look after themselves i can start a career and maybe have a heads up on the people who want paid maternity leave etc. I look forward to being a Grandma, Great Grandma and maybe even a Great Great Grandma. I will admit it hasnt been an easy ride being a young mum but it certainly does have just as many rewards (if not more) as being older.



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Sherry - posted on 04/04/2009

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It all depends. My parents were on the older side when I was born, but my oldest sister was born when my mom was only 19, so she got a "different" mom than I did 15 years later, and my dad was in his 40's. Everyone thought they were my grandparents. I knew for my self, I was going to be DONE having babies by age 30. Last year we had our last Feb and I turned 29 in Dec. WE have 3, delivered our first 2 weeks after I turned 19, and our last 2 months after I turned 28. It's different for everyone though. Some people need the extra time to GROW UP, others seem to be ready sooner. I dont think I would've been a better mom if I waited till I was like 10 years oldest......it's when ever YOU feel is the right time.

Leena - posted on 04/04/2009

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Hi all! I think it definitely depends on the person. I am SO glad I waited until my mid 20s to have my daughter (24). I got to do all the crazy college stuff, along with having a great job and no responsibilities. Now that she is here and I am married, I don't feel like I missed out on anything. In fact, I love being married and a SAHM.

Jennifer - posted on 04/04/2009

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I think it depends on your maturity level. I know moms both young and older who are good and bad. I think as long as you are committed to your family and do the best you know how to do, then age doesn't matter.

Erin - posted on 04/04/2009

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I think the young mom thing is great I had my first son at 21 and now I am 23 and I have an almost two year old and a 6 month old and I love it, before having my first son I was jus working and going to school and dating my kids father, seemed like the right path but I was not happy, after having my first son I felt so fullfilled and I am glad that we did not wait, now I feel like I have the energy the handle them and I will still be young when they are able to do things for themselves so I will still be able to achieve everything I would like to achieve. I guess it also depends on the maturity level because I felt that was completely ready to be a mom and was not concered with "loosing my freedom" or not being able to go out. Parenting has been the best experience and it makes everyday exciting and wonderful

Alex - posted on 04/02/2009

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Quoting Carina:

Also I hate older mum's always who always seem to look down on you for having children young and they say "we are more patient because we have had more life experience", I also see that their children are spoilt little brats because they have "more patience" they let them get away with murder!


i agree im 22 and my son is 4 1/2 months old im sick of older women coming up to me and telling me that im too young to have a baby im still a child myself and that i have had no life experience.. i believe im a good mum i have a husband and we have just built a house and my son is very loved and cared for.

Rhiannon - posted on 04/02/2009

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I am a young mum, and so probably have a fair bit of bias on the subject. I wanted kids young so I could play with them. So I could work towards a career for myself without stopping for years to have children in my 30's or 40's. So I could know my grandchildren. So I could have a retirement at an age I can enjoy it.



But, I also believe that it is what matters to you that is important. If it doesn't matter to you, then enjoy it and let it happen!

Caroline - posted on 04/02/2009

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Thank you emily c for ur your say all i can say is i was 19 wen i had my son and ppl did look down on me it has changed me and mad me more responsable. i totaly aggre with you gemma stone!!! it is the way you bring up ur child not how old u r. melissa walsh how in touch can they be and how long will the parent be around to share in the child's life? wel i dont think i have a right answer but i do have my vue and i think that it is any perents right to see ther child grow old.

Kristie - posted on 04/01/2009

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I think it depends on the maturity and mindset of the person regardless of age

Amie - posted on 04/01/2009

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Quoting Carina:

Also I hate older mum's always who always seem to look down on you for having children young and they say "we are more patient because we have had more life experience", I also see that their children are spoilt little brats because they have "more patience" they let them get away with murder!


LOL I just had to comment because my mom and I were talking about this same thing this past weekend. Her opinion is different though... she says she has less patience now that she's older and it's true. Just took seeing me with my kids for her to notice that her little idiosyncrasies have gotten worse over the years instead of better. The things that used to bug her and she let shrug off now REALLY bug her and she just has to say something. LOL!

Amie - posted on 04/01/2009

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I'm sure there are people who think waiting is a good idea in their own minds. For me that just wasn't and isn't the case. I don't understand why people wait if they can do it sooner. I'm 27 just had our 4th baby 3 days ago and I can't imagine how hard it would be for someone older than me to do this. I still have tons of energy to take my kids out and get everything done and still have time and energy to spare for my hubby too. My parents started having kids young too. I'm their oldest and they are only 46. Even at that though if they had been like some couples now a days they wouldn't have the energy. They watch our oldest sometimes (she's 8 1/2) and even they can't keep up with her the way they'd like to. Sure their only grandparents and shouldn't be expected to but they want to and it upsets them a bit they can't. They were always very involved with us and playing and taking us places. They were here last weekend when I was in labor at the hospital watching our other 3 and while they were a huge help you could tell they were beat and ready to go home once we got home from the hospital.
Some people may not agree but if you're fully capable of having your kids at a younger age I think it's best to do so. No one wants a parent who can't keep up with them.... well ok some teenagers might but that's another story. lol.

Carina - posted on 04/01/2009

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Also I hate older mum's always who always seem to look down on you for having children young and they say "we are more patient because we have had more life experience", I also see that their children are spoilt little brats because they have "more patience" they let them get away with murder!

Carina - posted on 04/01/2009

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Everyone is of course going to feel differently but as my mother was 42 when she had me I can say from experience I'm not keen on the older mum idea. My mum was always to tired or sick to really play well with me, her knees were playing up so she couldn't kneel to do things with me, the she had a heart attack and everyone was preparing me for her to die when I was 12, it was awful to go through, luckily she is still with us however I lost my dad a couple of years ago, he never got to meet my youngest son, and my mum is nearly 70 and is not well and I know she doesn't have much longer with us, so my boys will not grow up with her and I will not have her support, who really wants to do that to their children, do these older mums really think this through to their childs 30's 40's and 50's?????? I made sure I had mine young for this specific reason which ment having fertilty treatment at the age of 22 as I had Polycystic ovarian syndrome and I hope to be here for my grandchildren and even great-grandchildren!

Melissa - posted on 04/01/2009

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I think anyone can be a good mom but personally think mid-20's is the ideal time. You've experienced your youth, therefore will have no regrets or resentment yet young enough to have the energy to keep up. I personally have a hard time with mothers in their late 30's-40's having a first child as I don't think it's fair to the child. When a child graduates highschool at 18 their mother would be 58...how in touch can they be and how long will the parent be around to share in the child's life?

Gemma - posted on 04/01/2009

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im a young mum i was 19 when i had my 1st son i no im a good mum to my boys and dont think anyone can call me for being a young mum i went on to have my second child last year. i think older parents may have more life experience but if you have a good back ground and were brought up the right way then age doesnt matter you will do what is right by your familyx sorry if that seems abit agrssive its just one thing i cant stand is ppl thinking by waiting till your 30 you'll b a better parent because this isnt always the casexx

Emily - posted on 04/01/2009

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I am assuming you mean as far as parenting goes. I think it can be a factor in how well a person will parent but it is by no means the deciding factor.  I'm a CPS investegator and I can honestly say that right now most of my cases involve younger parents but there are very many children of older parents receiving my services too.  I was a young mother- 22 when I had my oldest and I think I did a great job. 

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