Does anybody else get this?

Jackie - posted on 04/25/2010 ( 108 moms have responded )

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I'm 28 years old and have a 3 year old son. I get my niece overnite from time to time and sometimes she has a friend stay too. I try to get the girls and my son out to have fun even if its just window shopping. My niece is 13 and the friend that mainly comes is 14. I look much younger than I am. My question is...does anybody else get dirty looks from little old ladies?

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Amanda - posted on 04/29/2010

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I am a 27 year old mother of five, I had my first when I was 15. Then I married and had four more wiht my wonderful husband. I do get alot of looks when I go out with the kids. one day we were in the grocery store and a lady asked me" Are these your lil brothers and sisters?" I have learned to come up with lil stories to tell people cuz I am tired of having to explain the story everytime, and these peopl dont know me and they being judgmental, So I tell them" Yes, mom is at the bar again so i had to babysit"

Chelsa - posted on 04/27/2010

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Hah. When I was about fifteen I had a cute little old lady tell my brother (who is nine years younger than me) to listen to his mommy when I was looking after him at the hospital waiting for my Mom to get some tests... Which was really funny, as I'm now 23, I have a two-year-old, and people give me dirty looks. I unfortunately happen to look somewhere between 15 and 19, depending upon who I ask. But to each their own. Why worry about what anyone says or thinks about you? People love to think the worst. Let them.

Rebecca - posted on 04/25/2010

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hahaha - i'm 28 and I have three kids, 2, 4 & 6 and YES they do, I look young and they look at me like I'm a lil' hoochie momma! hahahah! I'm ahappy I started young, I have so much energy, being a mom now is a breeeeze! :)

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Jennifer - posted on 05/01/2010

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I think older people have lost their sense of how a person looks at a certain age. I was in church one day and a woman asked me about my son while I was preggo with the second. Then she commented "so young" and I thought she meant my son was young for me to be having a second. Then she asked my age and I told her 27, and she says, "oh, I thought you were 17." I think they just don't realize some people just look younger than they really are. I tend to just ignore the stares and carry on with my business.

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All the time, and actually a friend of mine also had someone stop her on the street and tell her how disgusting she was, and she was just the Nanny

Theresa - posted on 05/01/2010

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All the time. I'm 27 and have 3 kids with 2 fathers...and I go to church. Imagine the looks I get from the elderly at church!

Casey - posted on 05/01/2010

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I'm 20 and i look like a high school student..but i haven't really had anyone come up to me and ask me my age or give me dirty looks..i guess once they see the look on my face..they don't bother me..i know one time this old lady came up to my boyfriend and said"how does it feel not to be a dead beat dad"? i was like wow..I had to tell her about herself..where has the respect gone?

Katy - posted on 05/01/2010

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Hahaha... No, I haven't, but I would just laugh it off... Just smile at them, that'll really get 'em!

Patricia - posted on 05/01/2010

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I have not.... I don't know why they would do that to you. They are just weird .

Brittany - posted on 05/01/2010

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Ohhhh yes!! I just turned 23....21 when my son was born & 22 when I had my daughter. I got the dirtiest looks when I was pregnant.....& continue to get them now. Especially when my husband's with us....he's 25 but could pass for 27. Doesn't help I could pass for my 13yr old sister's twin....but still.

Jenna - posted on 05/01/2010

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I get that allll the time. "Is he yours?" too.
I am 23, and I've only got one little one, just under 6 months old. However, I look like I'm still in highschool with a couple more years to go. I get stares and a lot of looks of confusion when they see my wedding rings as well!

Rita - posted on 05/01/2010

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Yep! I Have actually had people with the nerve to ask me if my daughter is mine! One time at the science place Miya went to do an activity and a lady was all "hold ... are you her mother? oh hold mommy's hand"

Sabrina - posted on 05/01/2010

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yes when i was 13 my little sister was born and i loved her so much i pushed her in her stroller and i didnt everything (my stepmom was lazy) but i got this one lady asking me how old my daughter was and such and i was like hm its my sister lol but ya ive had some dirty looks giving tro me from time to time i think its normal for people to react i just dfidnt let it bother me :)

Ciara - posted on 05/01/2010

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yea i so no what u mean i have a 3 year old son and regularly take my brothers 11, 8, 5 out for the day and those looks used to annoy me so much it was terrible, i felt lik screamin at them but since my freind told me just to give them a big smle and you can actually see how much it annoys tem that there condesending looks dont get to you

Kristal - posted on 05/01/2010

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i do. with being pregnant i'm 21 and i get dirty looks.. i think its cuz i look young

Emily - posted on 05/01/2010

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We get it a lot too. My boyfriend and I are both 21 just about to be 22 but I look 16 to most people that don't know me. I am 33 weeks pregnant and the whole time I have been showing the older ladies and even some couples who are probably 25 or so stare and give me dirty looks. I even had a lady in her 40s ask me what I thought it would be like once the baby came and I was officially a teen mom. I was about 27 weeks and she wanted to know if I'd finish high school.... :( It really kinda hurts but I feel even worse for the ones who are 16 and 17 and have to deal with it...

Kelly - posted on 05/01/2010

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@Dawn-I know what you mean about all of that. While I was growing up I was the oldest of 4 girls for a long time. Then my mom married my dad and they had a boy when I was 13. I would get strange looks walking in the store holding him. And when I was 16 they had my youngest brother. By that time people would actually come up and say, "awww...he's adorable. He's your........" and would wait for an answer. When I was that age it always creeped me out so I was quick to say "brother" Lol! Now I have a little sister who just turned 8 and although I don't see her very much, when I am out with her and my brothers, I get the looks. Just as a side note, my mom was 40 when she had my youngest sister. She looks amazing, keeps them all in check and doesn't care a lick about what anyone else thinks ;) Love that!

Jennifer - posted on 05/01/2010

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As funny as it seems, I am 25 years old, I have a (almost) 5yr old step son, a (almost) 3 yr old, a 17mth old, and a 6mth old. I get dirty looks and comments with that. But when I have a friends kids or my neice, nephew, or cousin, I get an even worse look. It amazes me how people can judge. My husband and I bust our butts to support our family. Yes we are young, but we are mature and responsible. But I guess a majority of my generation makes them frown upon else. But back in the day they started having kids at 15 and would have more than that. Why is it such a problem now to have more than one or tw kids with out dirty looks? lol.... People, just amaze me.......lol....

Yana - posted on 04/30/2010

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LOL every single day. It makes you bad and sometimes I even say something. Not always though. I am 26 and I have a 4 year old girl and am pregnant with my second. The looks I get, sometimes they are fun to interpret. Never take them seriously, people don't know what they think they know. Just ignore them or say something.

Dawn - posted on 04/30/2010

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Its funny you say that earlier I was reading a post. And a lady had said something about maybe wanting to have another child she had two and was 30 years old and thought she was too old to have another. Im 30 and alot of my friends havent even started yet. I am of course finished. But truth is I bet most people are done by the time they are 30. Im gonna bet 22 is the average age of starting and 28 is average for stopping.

Candice - posted on 04/30/2010

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even if you had kids at 10 years old it is none of those people's business and you still deserve complete respect..people who judge others usually have low self worth...I would be tempted to let them know that they're a B*tch lol!

Dawn - posted on 04/30/2010

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Well Im 30 I have a 14 year old a 9 year old and a 4 month old.You can imagine the looks I get.(my 14 year old is mature looking and people think she is 16. I sometimes have my 14 year old hold my 4 month old as we walk around the store or push the cart with the baby in it. Just to laugh knowing what they are thinking is that the baby is my daughters not mine and im a 30 year old grandma. Who cares what people think. I make the best out of it and just laugh.

Elysia - posted on 04/30/2010

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yes i do im 23 and my son is 13months old and im 30 weeks pregnant and i have a younger sister who is only 8 and ive always gotten looks when i take her out,

Kelly - posted on 04/30/2010

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Lol! I am 27 and have a 16 month old. I am married to a man that has three boys, my step-sons, that are 12, 14 and 15. You should SEE the looks I get when I go out! And not only from older people. From everyone. And of course my older boys love to carry around their little brother so I get all different kinds of looks. I just think, oh well. I know the truth ;)

Lena - posted on 04/30/2010

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o yes, little old ladies r the WORST.. im 22 and i had my first child when i was 15 so now i have a 6 yr old and an 18 month old and most ppl dont pay any attention to us but them old ladies just look at me like im dirt

Victoria - posted on 04/30/2010

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I was very young when I had my 5 year old, so everyone thought she was my little sister or that I was babysitting, people didn't realize that she was my daughter until I had my youngest 6 months ago, I always used to get dirty looks from everybody

Katarina - posted on 04/30/2010

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I'm 22 years old and a 1 year old son. I'm constantly getting dirty looks from little old ladies! Or I get suggestions, "Umm, dear I think your baby is crying." WOW, lady really, woulda never guess, haha.

Rebekah - posted on 04/30/2010

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i get dirty looks all the time. im bout to turn 21 and my husband is 23. we look younger then what we are so we always get the stares like "look at those 2 youngins" and i feel like they judge us all the time. we love our 7 month old daughter and nobody has the right to judge us but they do anyhow.

Tiffany - posted on 04/30/2010

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i do and im 22 with a 2 year old lol so when they look i just look back at them and keep doing what im doing. i dont feel anyone who is young and actually takes care of their child should be judged...old ppl are just stuck in their old ways i guess lol

Kristin - posted on 04/30/2010

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I wished I looked like an underage mama! Enjoy the youthful glow you've got rocking and have fun freaking out the old ladies! ;)

Tika - posted on 04/30/2010

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I was 18 when I had my first girl and I looked alot younger than I actually was! When I had my 2nd girl I was 22 and looked about 18. I got the dirty looks and I am 24 now and still get them. I like being a young mum, my kids are happy and never want for anything, they're not spoilt and don't live on junk food and chocolate all the time and have great manners...these uninformed people need to get a grip...its the older mums who are rare these days and back in the day if you hadn't a baby by the time you were 18, you were past it =D

Alecia - posted on 04/30/2010

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i dont think i had that prblm, but i dont really care what others think anyway. and dont complain!!! those ppl are just jealous u look so good!!!!

Amanda - posted on 04/30/2010

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im 22 and my husband is 34. we have an almost 3 yr old and a 1 yr old. people tell me i look about 17, so i am constantly getting weird looks.

Caitlyn - posted on 04/30/2010

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I've gotten some pretty funny looks. I am 23, and when I was pregnant with my daughter people would come up to me and talk about how terrible it was to be a teen mother, and how I would never be able to get a college degree, I laughed at them, told them I hadn't been a teen in a while, and that I had already finished my bachelor's degree. Now that she's here we still get funny looks mainly because she's half chinese and my husband and I are seperated so we aren't really ever seen together in public. Occasionally my friend and I will go out places, and she loves to hold and care for my daughter, and people give us extremely dirty looks thinking that we're a lesbian couple with an adopted baby.

Lauren - posted on 04/30/2010

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i am 23 w a 7 1/2 month old baby i am married but i dont wear my wedding ring al the time because i am a nursing student and our teacher is religous about us not wearing our jewlerly to clinicals because it can scratch old people or carry infections so i just have gotten into a habit of only wearing it when my husband go out or i go out of town but i get the nasty looks all the time cuz usually its just me and my daughter cuz my husband works ridiculouly long hours and w no ring and a baby on my hip people askme all the time if i even know who my babies dad is i just laugh and say well listen hear i am married but one day i will be your nurse and u need to remember your comment i guess it doesnt help that i looke maybe 18

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I don't think I've gotten them, but who knows...I probably have and just didn't notice them. I did get a lot of looks when I was pregnant with my son, but oh well, I love my children and am glad that I am young enough to have fun with them as they grow up. God has given me two blessings and I intend to enjoy and love them all I can!

Angela - posted on 04/30/2010

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not something i get but if people judge you without knowing you it's them that have the problem not you

Sheri - posted on 04/30/2010

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I get it all the time. I have two kids 2 & 9 months; & I get my necies & nephew for the summer. They are 5,6,& 7. I'm only 23 so I get the crazy looks of a single mom with 5 kids walking around...

Camesha - posted on 04/30/2010

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even though I am 28 and married, they just don't seem to care. I have a 10 month old and am also 5 months pregnant. The glares I get can sometimes be lethal.

Lauren - posted on 04/30/2010

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Haha i get this all the time i am 21 with a 3 year old and boy i get some looks from everyone. Its worse at her nursery as i think i am the only young mum there. I just smile and hold my head high who's to say just because your a young mum means your not a good one.

Kerry - posted on 04/30/2010

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lol yes i get them all the time. More so when I was pregnant with my first child. I was 18 turning 19 ( but looked 14-15) and my partner was 21 (looked 25) I still get the looks but not as much now. I am pregnant with my 3rd. I just ignore them and take it as a complient. So does my partner. :)

Guinevere - posted on 04/30/2010

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I read a wonderful article the other day in a pregnancy magazine about "pregnancy and child ettiquete". When it comes to children and pregnancy, the majority of women believe they are experts (whether they have children or not) and know better than anyone else. All barriers come down big time and people believe they can say what they wish. They dont think! The ettiquette of polite conversation goes completely out the window when you a young (or young looking) mother with children or are pregnant. A good friend of mine is married and just had her first child, she is 19. the rude comments, the touching of her belly that i have witnessed whilst being with her is just phenominal, but it comes down to one simple thing... they dont think.
I have a 5 yr old niece and a 3 yr old nephew that i have almost every weekend, their mother (my younger sister (26)) died 3 months ago at the hand of a negligent DR during surgery and the children only have me now as their as a surrogate mother. I will never replace my sister in the role, and being 3 months pregnant with my first (ive just started to show) ive started getting a couple of comments and looks from people when i have my niece and nephew. Im 28, engaged to a wonderful man and will be 7 months pregnant when we tie the knot.
People are ignorant, they are rude and more often than not, dont think. I had an old biddy ask if ill be hiding my pregnancy bump with my dress at the wedding, i told her that that this child is a much loved and wanted child (i concieved less than a week after my sister died) and that im going to proudly display my pregnancy bump at my wedding for i am marrying the man i love and who helped in the creation of this child, and rude questions, such as hers shouldnt be asked and simple manners in talking to people should be adhered too.
Suffice to say, she backed off and blushed in embarressment. Dont be afraid to tell people where they can stick their noses. Your business is just that... and no one has the right to make comments, touch your pregnant belly etc. Tell them that their questions and statements are rude, uncooth and they should practice better manners.
Dont be afraid to voice your own opinion on THEIR rudeness.
Youll find that most people realise what they have done and appologise.

Christi - posted on 04/29/2010

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i do all the time. my sister is 15 and i am 22, and i have legal custody of her. she is autistic. has aspergers and is epileptic. i cannot tell you how many times i have been out and had people stare at me thinking she is mine. i have even heard people whisper that is what happens when you have children so young or clearly she is the result of inbreeding. it hurts her more than me.

Heather - posted on 04/29/2010

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My husband and I have really enjoyed reading this thread and it has definitely brought back a lot of memories for us when things have been said by others or dirty looks have been given. I was 16 when my now husband (and at the time boyfriend) found out I was pregnant and I was 17 when I had my son. My husband’s favorite memory of getting dirty looks or comments made is from the spring after we had our son when I was 18. I was playing in the county rotational softball league and during one of the innings that I was off the field I had gone over to the stands to check on our son who was sitting with my MIL since my husband had to work that evening, when I came back over to sit back down one of my team mates said to me that my little brother was such a cutie (I had dressed him up in a little baseball outfit before we head to the game), I said to her that isn't my brother that is my son. My team mate had such a look of shock and disbelief on her face and said to me you don't look old enough to be having a child, you can't be much more than 12 or 13 years old. I just very curtly replied I am 18 thank you very much and spent the rest of the game stewing about what she had said. When I told my husband about it later on that evening when he got home from work he just started laughing and said one day I would be thankful someone thought I looked so young instead of upset. I don’t really have one time in my mind that sticks out but I remember getting a lot of dirty looks and having comments made about my husband being a dirty old pervert from the little old ladies when we would go out in public back when we first had our son. Looking back at photos of our family from back then I can see how people would have thought and said the things they did. I really did look like I couldn’t have been much more than 12 or 13 when we had our son and my husband easily looked like he was 27 or 28 (he was only 20) at the time. Now we get funny looks when we run into the little old ladies due to the fact my husband who is turning 30 this fall is starting to get some grey hairs, the last three yrs have been very stressful ones to us thus the grey hairs he says.

Julia - posted on 04/29/2010

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I have a neice and nephew also that is 4 and 8...and my 4 1/2 and im 21...I dont even pay attention to looks! I ignore dirty remarks...thats people who need growing up!!

Rose - posted on 04/29/2010

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When i have my nieces and nephews and mine ranging from 2 to 8 plus my own which is 2 and pregnant now i get dirty looks i am 23. I just brush it off and say these aren't my kids they are my sisters except for mine. People are so nosey and rude.

Melanie - posted on 04/29/2010

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I got some weird looks when I was pregnant maybe because I look a little younger in the face, I don't know. I also got some dirty looks while feeding my daughter during an outing at the mall. Maybe it's because I was bottle feeding her... some people just have a lot of nerve.

Jackie - posted on 04/29/2010

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the part that really gets me is that they already had kids at our age and had been married for years. look at their mothers for crying out loud! use to be that you were an old maid if you werent married my 18 and had kids by 20. i love it. the looks crack me up but what really upsets me is when theyre actually rude. i was carrying my son in his car seat when he was about 4 weeks old and it was raining out. i was in a hurry to get into the store and this little old lady stared at me and just stood in the door way so i couldnt get through. grr

Amanda - posted on 04/29/2010

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ha all the time i am 4'11'' and look like a 14 year old and my fiancée is only like 4 inches taller than me. so yea we get lots of looks we ignore it.

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