does anyone else feel like they've been judge for being a young mum?

Amy - posted on 01/06/2010

Definately not, I had my first born at 19, unplanned but very happy when it happened, I used to feel embaressed when i went to the shops, i felt as though people were always staring at me and i felt really uncomfortable, i eventually got used to it, now my first born is at pre-school i feel as though all the feeling i had before is coming back, all the parents at the schhol i take my child are late 30's early 40's, i feel as though they expect you to be a bad mum just because you are younger, i have had comments but have learned to live with it, i am a proud young mum of 2, i am active and my children love me, thats all that matters, ignore people in the sreet they no nothing x x x x

Heather - posted on 01/06/2010

I have not gotten any comments, but I get horrible looks all the time! I am also 21, our son was not planned, but we couldnt be happier. We have been engaged since before I got pregnant and nothing has changed in the relationship since the baby was born.

Amie - posted on 01/06/2010

yes I have been with my boyfriend 3 years people judge me that dont even know me including widwifes and talk to me like rubbish !!!!

people are to quick to judge because were young thay always think were goin to fail

does my head in xx

Niki - posted on 01/06/2010

Old people suck lol

Amber - posted on 01/04/2010

Oh, yes! I was 20 when I was pregnant and *gasp* unmarried at the time. I had so many people say idiotic things like, "you're so young", "another statistic" and "you had options" to me I wanted to go on a pre-partum killing spree.

My favorite way of handling it when they asked if she was a "mistake" was by saying, "no, she is a blessing". That usually makes them go away. But if they won't let it go, I say, "Look, you're not my mom/dad and you are not paying my bills, so mind your own business, nosey!"

Age has nothing to do with what sort of parent you are. I've known fifteen year-olds that were better moms than some of the thirty-somethings who rely on the computer/TV/Xbox to raise their kids when they are too tired. It's all in the time and effort you put into raising your kids.

I'm sure you're a wonderful mommy and if these ignorant Jerry Springer watching people can't see that,then it's their loss.

Cassi - posted on 01/04/2010

ppl have been saying things like that since i got pregg. at 15 and had my daughter at 16. Some times they say wost things, and its bad when its said by ppl that are supposibly ur friends, i had one tell me once that i would be better off standing at the corner earning money to raise her.

Arielle - posted on 01/03/2010

Oh yeah! I hate it. I'm 22 and our first just turned 2 and I'm due on feb 9th 2010. And I hear rude comments all the time! From strangers and family! I can't stand it! But I just have to remind myself of what a good friend of mine told me " God guves u ur kids when he thinks u need them"
God bless

Abby - posted on 01/03/2010

I'm 22 and my husband is 23 and we have 13 month old boy. I get tired of ALWAYS being asked if we're either A) Military or B) Mormon. Neither are true! hahah both of us have bachelor's degrees, we just married young because we knew we were going to be together forever anyways

Delta - posted on 01/03/2010

No not at all, we had our daughter when I was 18 and he was 22. I was still in high school and he had a full time job, I get that all the time too, your 28 you have a 9 year old wow you started young, are you with the father still, and yes we are still together. We have been together since 1999 but only got married in 2008. Yours was planned ours wasn't but we accepted it and we love her either way. We have been talking since she is gonna be 10 in Aug that we should go for another one before we get any older.

Savannah - posted on 01/03/2010

That is the rudest thing! I know what your talking about, I'm 23 and have the same problems with nosy people! My husband and I have been together for 10 years and our son was planned too. Try not to let people get you down. There's always gonna be that one rude person everywhere you go.

Candice - posted on 01/03/2010

OH ABSOLUTELY! Im 21 also with a 1yr old and me and my boyfriend have been together fro 6 years and ! Its crazy because i get all those same remarks!! Im constantly gettin looks It doesnt help that my son is biracial..so i get double the looks. And im sick of hearin the well that was the choice you made if im strugglin a lil bit! But ya know what im a GREAT mother so they can give me all the looks they want because thats one thing they cant take from me.

Nina - posted on 01/03/2010

I'm 21. I'm engaged. My fiance and i bought a house together. We have two cars. We save $ on top of all our bills, mortgage...We tried for 3 months to have our son. I was so excited to be pregnant but when i started to show the amount of looks, disapproving noises etc that i got from people was astounding. I went to my mothers group once and was told not to worry, my life wouldnt be over that i could just get my mum to babysit and i could get on with my life..needless to say i didnt go back. I'm young and a bloody fantastic mum! I'm sick of people looking at me and my son and saying 'Woops"...He was NOT an accident. We wanted him and he is just perfect.

Steph - posted on 01/03/2010

yeah i feel i get judged alot. im 22 now. my son is 3 in june. he was ill as a baby and no one, and i mean no one would listen or do anything for him. kept saying, just come bk if he dont get better.

well at 5weeks i had to rush him to A&E because he was lethargic. turns out he had pyloric senosis and had to be taken to the nearest city for the op rather quickly.



people dont take us young moms seriously, and judge us thinking we wont do as good a job. well its complete rubbish. my son is doing wonderfully, shows them idiots hey hehe



i think in the end people's attitudes will change. i hope so anyway. i wonder how many other babys get seriously ill because these proffessionals wont listen to us

Nicole - posted on 01/03/2010

Don't feel bad hun, i got pregnant with my son at 18 had him at 19 and his father walked out on us...but now im with this guy that loves my son like he is his...So don't listen to what people say live your life with your kids in they end they are the only ones that truly have your back

Ashlee - posted on 01/03/2010

I was 20 when I had my son and I always got the "was it an accident?" question. People were shocked to hear that he was planned; i just had my second child,a daughter at 23, and she was also planned. I odn't think having children young is a bad decision or makes you a bad mom; I would not change my decision for anything!

Tameka - posted on 01/03/2010

i moved out at 15, i had my son when i was 17 and my daughter at 18. everyone used to criticize me and judge me for it (babies having babies etc) even the nurses in the maternity ward gave me a hard time asking for advice when my son cried for 3 days straight because i was told not to burp him because he was breast fed bs, but when people get to know me and see how i am with my children they realize just because im young doesn't mean i can take care of my own children. my kids never miss out on anything and i am the most important thing in their world and they in mine and that whats important to me.
80 years ago my nan had her 1st at 18 and my mother was 20 that was the norm. it was strange if you didn't have children young so why start judging now.
.

Shazmae - posted on 01/03/2010

im 28 i have 3 children 2 girls 10 and 4 and my son is 21 months and i still get looks at school they always think im the babysitter !!! its very annoying then i get the well are they all by the same guy and no there not but i had them and i love them and i do the best i can for them, but people always judge and its not fair at all ...

Misty - posted on 01/03/2010

Oh gosh do I ever get judged it is a little rediculous neither of my kids were planned but they are my pride and joy and I wouldn't change my past for anything they honestly make my life better and I wouldn't be who I am without them! so for those who judge us for being young it is just ingnnorance on there part don't judge a book by it's cover kind of thing it doesn't matter what age you are when you become a mother it is a natural instinct to become loving and caring and the majority of young mothers are amazing :)

Casey - posted on 01/03/2010

i do all the time. i think its mostly because i look like i'm 15 not 21. and i can see it on their face that they are thinking..there goes another high school girl with a baby. when i was pregnant (but before i was showing), i was reading some pregnancy magazines at barnes and noble and a man asked why i was reading them. i said "...because i'm pregnant..." he looked shocked and he asked me how old i was. i said 20. he replied "oh well thats better i guess, i thought you were about 14!" even if i was 14, who is he to judge me?!

Catrina - posted on 01/03/2010

i got the samething when I had my daughter. I had just turned 20 shortly before I had her.I hated the way people would look at me. She was not planned at all, I was suppose to leave for the Navy in August of 04 and found out I was going to have her in June of 04. I was married to her father in October of 04 and we had talked about having children but not at that point in time. To me age doesn't matter when you have children if you believe you are ready and have a wonderful support system behind you, you can do just about anything that you want.

Amanda - posted on 01/02/2010

ugh lol. I am almost 22 years old. I am about 90 pounds and 4"10. I get awful looks ALL the time. I have two beautiful lil girls (2 n 5months). I get these looks everywhere I go. Or I get the dumb question of people asking if my daughters are my sisters. I seriously almost had a shirt made saying how old I was. I know I was really young (19) when I was pregnant with my first daughter but people shouldn't come up to you telling u your baby was an abomination. (excuse spelling). I make an amazing mom in my opinion, my daughter Makayla was born with Spina Bifida and is has made me grow up faster than ever. It has made me a strong and independent woman. i would not change it for the world. Screw those strangers who judge you for being young. I just introduce myself when people are staring. Embarrasses the hell out of them ..lol..

Sheryl - posted on 01/02/2010

i hate it the looks my self! i have two lil boys! my first i had when i was 21 and sec. when i was 23. i am 25 now i still get looks cause i look younger than i am. plus, i'm short. so that don't help much! some people are more understanding and other are not so understanding. for me where i am from it mainly the 80-70 that understand more. the 60 down. it seem like they are less understanding. i mean come on back in the old days people where what like 15 or 16 having there first even younger! i don't think age really make you a better parent. i love my boys and take care of them. it not like i say here you go riase my kids! but yeah i do feel judge for being a young mom. for me i rather be a young mom and be able to do more for my kids. but that just my view. oh i have even had young girls who don't have kids give looks like omg. i think that the parent falt for not teaching them. i agree with other though is like mind your own bussi. and get a life.

Rita - posted on 01/02/2010

I'm 25 but people say I look much younger than that I'm very short my six year is over half my height we go shopping once a week and the looks are just sicking it amazes me how judgemental people really are.I don't really care what others think of me but the comments get out of control.It's like I want to say mind your own bussi.

ELizabeth - posted on 12/31/2009

The last time I got that I was with my mom and we had taken my daughter (who was young at the time)to see a speicalist and the nurse who was checking my daughter looked at me and made some noise like she couldn't believe I was my daughter's mom. You see my mom was holding my daughter in her lap and was sitting. So the nurse first assumed my mom was my daughter's mother. I hate from that happening and hope it never happens again. I'm 27 now but at the time I was younger like 26. That is the only time meaning thing mean has happened with me being judge for being a young mom. Everything else has been good things.

Danielle - posted on 12/31/2009

I put a graphic on my myspace that says...
"PROUD TEENAGE MOM!
age doesn't define how good of a parent you are!"

yes I am 19 so I still am under that catagory but, I had my daughter at the age of 17 and ppl tend to make a lot of assumptions but, that is just ppl. They assume I live at home and my parents raise my daughter for me while i party and sleep around... when in fact the story is as follows i was with kyleigh's dad for three years i put him through high school and everything by put him through i mean i bought all his school supplies and clothes and everything else... I bought a house when I was 18 and finished putting nick through his last year of high school, it was hard but I did it. I was driving him to and from school and everything taking on all the responsibility of my daughter plus the responsibility of nick and his school and lack of car. (we were engaged too)
we are no longer together he left when kyleigh was about 5 months old and I have been taking care of my daughter alone and paying all the bills and everything. so just because I am young they assume the worst.
i know a lot of young mothers who do live at home and their parents take care of their kids for them and raise them while the young parents party... the parents do it because they say their kid never had a chance to live so they want to give it to them.
ppl are going to stero-type based on everything you age, race, sex, job, anything and everything so why is this any different? your a young mom. doesn't make you a bad one... just prove them wrong, no need to go out of your way.... do your thing and don't worry about what other ppl say cause there is always going to be someone there to say something against you..

;) keep your head heald high and don't worry about the ppl around you remember their might not be someone there rooting for you but, you can always count in the fact that there is someone there rooting against you.

Jessi - posted on 12/31/2009

i am a young mother also. i turned 21 when i was 4 months pregnant so i completely understand. my mom told me she didnt want me to have my baby and she wasnt supportive even after i told i was keepin my baby. i have been with my son's father since i was 15 and he was 16. we are not married so when people see that we are not married and i have no intention of getting married, they tend to look down on me and judge my family. you cannot live your life based on what others think of you. you have your child and your new family to think ab. to be the best mom you can be, rid yourself of negative thoughts and think positive. just know that you will never see tht man again and you are a good mom no matter what!!!! good luck

Crystal - posted on 12/31/2009

You have no idea..I had just turned 20 then two days later i gave birth to my son. I'm due to have my second child in may 2010.. I'm 21 now butI look really young for my age..I look more like im 16 then anything from what people tell me..But all i say is screw the people that have nothing nice to say. As long as we are doing what has to be done for our children then whats the harm? I get looks and the whispers all the time. somedays i do confromt some people if it gets annoying enough. But its usually me shuting them up. but most of the time i let it go becuase they don't know me or how my life is. So try not to pay any mind to them..as long as you and your man are doing what needs to be done. then thats all that matters.

Ashley - posted on 12/30/2009

yes i have 3 and im 23, they all say babys havin babies, and are you old enough to have 3 kids you look like you 16, yes i started young at 18 and im done now but they will always talk i am a good mom and its not like i have 3 kids and cant feed them, actually i have never worked my husbad has his own buss since he was 16 if they only knew before they ran there mouths.

Laura - posted on 12/30/2009

Just ignore them. I remember when I was expecting my daughter people (generally older people) would make little remarks. I didn't get very big which I took as a blessing because Lottie Beth was healthy I was healthy I only gained 20lbs with the whole pregnancy but it would bother me when people say you're not big enough there is something wrong with your baby. No one has really said anything about me looking young to have children I am 23 but I don't get out that much yet cause she is only two months old, but older people to me anyway just say their mind and don't really think before speaking. Just try to let it go and not worry about what other people say to you : )

Alisha - posted on 12/29/2009

This absolutely does not make u a bad mom & u should never feel like that b/c of some narrow minded, 'old skool' thinking of an older man. He doesnt know ur situation & should not pass judgement or ask u questions like that! Im 28 & look like Im 20, ppl used 2 look at me when I was pregnant as if I was a child myself, pregnant & I still get looks for looking so long and having a 3 yr old. Its totaly none of his business & people should really not get in2 ohters business. Everyone's situation is different & all that matters is if u are happy...

Melissa - posted on 12/29/2009

You have to take everything with a grain of salt.. you will be judged by some if you have a baby in your early twenties, and you will be judged by some if you have a baby in your late thirties. I was 22 when I had my son and my husband and I had been married for two years, but while I was pregnant I couldn't wear my ring and I got so many shameful looks, but who cares!? I also got many hateful comments when I wasn't with my husband from older ladies. I just replied that I'd been married for 2 years, my husband and I both work full time, we're both in school, and until you or the government are footing the bill, it's none of your business.

Christina - posted on 12/29/2009

I get it all the time! Dont let anyone make you feel bad! I am 24 with 3 and I get carded for buying cold meds, white out, lighters and alcohol. I had all 3 kids with me and I ran into the store quick with just my debit card to get my husband some medicine and the cashier ask for my ID and I told her I left it in my van and she said well I cant tell if you are over 18 so I cant let you have this!! Really!? you are going to make me go back out with 3 kids in the pouring rain to get my ID? I was so mad. You should be proud that you are raising your child and not someone else!

Marah - posted on 12/29/2009

yup...i sure do!!

well i had my son when i was 16, and sure he was an "accident", but i dont think that thats anyones business because they arent helping me raise him. And i had my daughter 3 years later when i was a couple of weeks shy of my 19th birthday...they feel the need to judge me because I did it again...so when people say retarded little comments i laugh, not even giving the satisfaction of seeing me hurt or upset.

Shana - posted on 12/29/2009

I used to when I get them a lot when I had my first, and when I was pregnant with my second. Not so much anymore, guess I lost the young look lol. I say brush it off. Who are they to judge!
btw I had my first also when I was 21, my second at 24 and the third at 26

Corina - posted on 12/29/2009

completely! ppl look at me like i'm freakin juno or something lmao! my own grandmother said i looked like a child with my baby girl(which i heard her say behind my back). i'm 25years old!!! i might look young but i definatley am not. older ppl are always the first to judge. just keep youre head up and justify to no one! you dont owe them anything. ;) being a young mom does not make you a bad mom!!!

Stacey - posted on 12/19/2009

omg I get this all the time!! I guess because Im 21 with a 4 year old and a 18 month old! But I just usually laugh it off bc they are the best lil gifts their father could hav ever given me and we have been together for 8 and a half years! Grant it we didn't plan for them but I wouldn't trade them in for the world! And how I see it we can have our mid life crisis all by our self!!! :) Don't let them get to you! Age doesn't define a GOOD mother! (or father)

Jessica - posted on 12/19/2009

i get comments like that ALL of the time! i am 25 and have two children, ages 4 and 8 months. my husband and i have been married almost 6 yrs and together 8. i usually do get offended when people make comments but i try to brush it off bc we felt we were ready and have never had any regrets... =)