Does anyone have any advice about how to have my 4yr old Stop whinning??

Ann - posted on 02/01/2009

NEVER give in to whinning! Giving in to this behavior is not helping the child deal with self regulation skills. Yes we all know that it can rub a spot the wrong way but you need to stand firm on a decission and allow the child the right to express their feelings and develop self control and self regulation. This will have a huge impact on future issues the child may face in school and life. Good Luck!

Marcia - posted on 01/31/2009

Not too sure if this would work, but I saw it on "supernanny"...at a time when your little one isn't whining sit your little one down and have a discussion about the whining and in it you do an example of whining and try whining yourself (in a lighthearted way), so your little one can laugh at how silly you're being and perhaps he or she will remember this for the next time...I have absolutely no idea if this will work, but I know sometimes humour goes a long way.

Tammy - posted on 01/31/2009

I tell my son, if he's gonna whine like a baby, I will treat him like a baby. And babies don't get to play with the toys he has & they dont get to watch tv cause they are to young. He usually stops right away. 

Jodie - posted on 01/30/2009

The easiest way for me to get my 4 year old daughter to stop whining is to stay calm, kneel down so that we are face to face, and ask her what it is that she wants to say. This usually helps her to calm down too. This works alot of the time but on the occasion when it doesn't I tell her that mummy will talk to her when she has calmed down and then I stay absolutely silent until she has finished whining. The best thing to do is never give in to their demands when behaving like this or they will learn that this is an acceptable way for them to get what they want.

Shanda - posted on 01/30/2009

Thanks for all the great advice, I sure will try your suggestions

Michelle - posted on 01/30/2009

I'm not sure if the whinning really ever stops though.  My 7 yr old was the worst whinner of all and she still whines.  But worst of all she mummbles so I can't understand her.  I sure wish she'd grow out of it.

Kimberly - posted on 01/30/2009

You ladies!! What did we ever do before this site?!  My daugther cries, instead of whining.  Doesn't make it any easier to understand her.  I'll definately try to pay more attention to not giving in.  It just gets so frustrating when it feels like you're hearing them cry more than talk, you know?  I think it's just cause I'm not maternal enough, and I can't stand the crying.  I feel like the guy in the relationship, like I'm afraid that because she cries so much now, she's just gonna grow up to be a big baby.  Does that sound legitimate, or can someone tell me I'm overreacting, please?  lol

Andrea - posted on 01/30/2009

I try the "mommy can't understand whining" or "mommy doesn't respond to whining" I'll say it a few times and then just ignore my son until he talks the way he is expected to. Doesn't always work and then we end up progressing to other issues (yelling, hitting, etc), but I figure he understands the point I'm trying to make and if I stick to my guns, he'll eventually come to see that he never gets what he wants when he whines, cries or throws a tantrum and almost always gets what he wants when he talks the way I want him to.

Liana - posted on 01/30/2009

When my boys start I tell them I can't understand them when they talk to me like that and if they want something they should ask nicely.  It doesn't always work another way is to talk back to them in the same way and ask why they are talking to you like that it diffuses the situation because they will either look at you like you've gone mad or will just laugh at you either way it stops my kids :)

Dawn - posted on 01/30/2009

my daughter is 3 1/2 and constantly whines. when she wants a snack or juice she will say in a whiny voice juice, or hungry...we tell her that until she can ask in a big girl way then we can't hear her. and we go about our business. most of the time this works but if she's over tired then i don't push it too much...i'll try it for about 10 minutes but you can just tell when they are not in the mood.

Christina - posted on 01/29/2009

My MIL told her kids that she couldn't hear them when they talked to her like that and asked them to repeat it nicely. They kinda laugh remembering the way she used to say it.

Michelle - posted on 01/29/2009

Thanks..will definitly try it out, cant hurt!!

Carol - posted on 01/29/2009

I tell my students that whining is yucky noise. I will listen  to them when they use their words in a kind way. Then I walk away to let them think about that a bit. They usually decide to come back to me and use their words. Sometimes they'll yell more and I ignore it until they calm. Then I'll go back to them and ask them if they are ready to use their words. If you ignore the yucky noise, they will come to realize it doesn't get them anything. If you give in, it only teaches them that it works :-) It is very important to maintain your own composure as well.... even if all you want to do is start yelling :-D Be loving, but stern and they'll get it.

Michelle - posted on 01/29/2009

Thank you!! I will definitley give that a try...i have tried to tell her when she talks..then i can understand her and get her what she needs..but it never seemed to work and i always give in, just to get her to stop.

Shanda - posted on 01/27/2009

Thanks, I have started telling her she needs to use her words and I don't get whatever it is she wants or is trying to tell me untill she uses her words and isn't whinning.

Allyne - posted on 01/27/2009

I dont have a four year old but my cousin does and from watching her deal with whinning I can tall you that she tells her kids to use their big girl or big boy words and that she is not going to get them their juice or whatever untill they stop whinning and use their big words. seems to work some what!

Michelle - posted on 01/27/2009

I really wish I did..but if you come up with something, please let me know. My 4 year daughter is always whinning..and it drives up crazy!!



Good luck