Does anyone let their baby sleep in the bed with them?

Summer - posted on 10/18/2009 ( 373 moms have responded )

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My daughter is almost 3 months old - and she's my third child. She has never been in her bed. I think it's more me than her. I just love her so much that I don't want to be away from her. Anyone else experience this?

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Judy - posted on 03/15/2013

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Yes, my baby sleeps next to me, not in the middle between me and my husband. I am very aware of her and really don't move in my sleep, I wake up with dead arms sometimes. BUT, Im starting to reconsider, I could not live with myself if God forbid she fell off somehow or I squish her, especially since she will start rolling over on her own a lot more in the very near future. So I'm going to have to get her back in the habit of sleeping in her bassinet through the night and eventually in her crib. If you do it with your children and everything turns out fine what have you, consider it luck I guess. There are safe ways of sleeping with your child..you have to have a decent sized bed and there are rails you can put up..also no big comforters and pillows etc, or you can buy a cosleeper bed.

Brenda - posted on 10/22/2009

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It is totally untrue that when they are older they get clingy. Toddlers benefit from cosleeping. It reduces childhood anxiety and depression.



http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk...



Children leave the bed when they are ready. We do not train babies in other biological needs like excretion or walking. We let it happen, so too should sleeping.

Brenda - posted on 10/22/2009

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Yup. We sold our bassinet and I'm selling the crib because my son won't ever use it. Nothing wrong with cosleeping. In fact, statistics are showing it to be beneficial.



http://www.nd.edu/~jmckenn1/lab/index.ht... is Dr. McKenna's site, a doctor at Notre Dame who's research is proving the benefits of Cosleeping.

Francesca - posted on 10/22/2009

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Quoting Krystal:

No. I'm sorry but your child has a higher risk of sids if they are in your bed. Y many may ask, well its because they are supposed to sleep in a crib with no blankets or pillows only a fitted sheet and the baby. now who do you know that doesnt have covers on their own bed? I'm sorry but it is selfish and these moms know it thats why they say its more for them then the baby. I know you guys love your little ones but come on if you dont have one of those co sleepers on the side of the bed, do you honestly love your baby so much that you would raise there risk of sids? And i'm sure everyone of you who has their kids sleeping with them you have all had a scare where you woke up just before someone rolled on them or woke up and noticed the balnket is on the face. Now wouldnt you feel bad if one of those times you didnt wake up in time? also your bed is your intimate place with your husband. If you have to be intimate else were it will eventually effect your sex life. I do not mean to sound rude but when you look at the stats between how many kids get sids in the crib versus how many get it in the family bed the numbers are worse for the family bed. also ask any doctor and they will tell you its not emotionally healthy for them to have that attachment so deep.



Which study says that?



Actually Co-sleeping breastfed babies have zero risk of SIDS.  Co-sleeping babies have a higher risk of suffocation, but thats a completely different issue.  The risk of suffociation is no higher than the risk of SIDS to formula fed babies or babies who sleep in a different room from their parents for the first six months. 



Don't get me wrong, there are things you have to watch out for. And its not for everyone.   I actually had a  public health  nurse come into  my bedroom to check out which is the safest way.  As long as the blanket is no thicker than a receiving blanket and don't have too many pillows.  The best possible place for your matteress is on the floor, or get a co-sleeper which can be picked up at Walmart or Babies R Us.  If you drink alcohol or take any medications that make you dozy, or smoke this option is not safe.



Its not dangerous.  Saying so blindly is just silly as a few generations ago when women were told formula is better than breastmilk.  So really the argument can only be about parents privacy and preference.   



Check out this study done through Europe...



http://www.beststart.org/events/detail/b...



 



 

[deleted account]

No. I'm sorry but your child has a higher risk of sids if they are in your bed. Y many may ask, well its because they are supposed to sleep in a crib with no blankets or pillows only a fitted sheet and the baby. now who do you know that doesnt have covers on their own bed? I'm sorry but it is selfish and these moms know it thats why they say its more for them then the baby. I know you guys love your little ones but come on if you dont have one of those co sleepers on the side of the bed, do you honestly love your baby so much that you would raise there risk of sids? And i'm sure everyone of you who has their kids sleeping with them you have all had a scare where you woke up just before someone rolled on them or woke up and noticed the balnket is on the face. Now wouldnt you feel bad if one of those times you didnt wake up in time? also your bed is your intimate place with your husband. If you have to be intimate else were it will eventually effect your sex life. I do not mean to sound rude but when you look at the stats between how many kids get sids in the crib versus how many get it in the family bed the numbers are worse for the family bed. also ask any doctor and they will tell you its not emotionally healthy for them to have that attachment so deep.

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Carol - posted on 03/15/2013

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update to my original question :)

my daughter slept with me from day one, until she turned four, and now she sleeps in her own room, on the other side of the house, no problem whatsoever :) so moms who cosleep, do not fear the old tale of the kids sleeping with you until they are in college, because if you motivate them to have their own bed and hype it up, it totally works :)

Now I have a son and he sleeps in his crib. I've gotten used to the bed and my spouse again, and he is happy in his crib for now :)

Brenda - posted on 02/21/2011

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Yes,actually my baby has been with us since he was 1. He is 3 now and he still sleeps with us but we are getting ready to let him go. But in your case, I think your baby is troo small to be with you.

Brandi - posted on 02/20/2011

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my son slept in my bed with me until he was about almost 3. He sleeps in his bed now but still ends up in mine before morning!! my daughter is 8 and a half months and she has slept with me pretty much since she was born on and off. my son was breastfed until he was almost 8 months and i couldnt with my daughter, so i feel she got jipped out of cuddle time!! the way i look at it is you only get so long before they are too old, what's 3 years of their life? i actually cant even sleep without one of my kids with me! my fiancee has been sleeping in another bed for almost a year! it works for us, everyone gets a good nights sleep and wakes up happy!!

Jen - posted on 11/16/2009

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PS: My two year old still comes to sleep in my bed if he wakes up in the night sometimes. I don't mind at all. I like having him there, and knowing that I'm able to give him the feeling of being safe and secure. Hubby gets up for work @ 3:30am, so after that there's plenty of room for my babies! :) Because both our kids go to bed in their own rooms at the beginning of the night there's no problem finding TIME for sex; our only problem is trying to get up the energy! lol

Jen - posted on 11/16/2009

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Everyone has a different opinion on this issue, including doctors. There are obviously some safety concerns, but there are products available on the market to assist in making your bed safe for baby.

That being said; my son slept all night in my bed until he was 6 months old, at which point I moved him into his crib for the first part of the night and he'd spend the rest in bed with me and hubby. Neither hubby or I EVER rolled over onto our son, and he never suffocated. I breast fed him, and I found that for the first one or two night feedings I could stay awake to put him back in the crib, but after that I'd end up falling asleep during the feeding. I was more comfortable nursing laying down, and the idea of passing out in a chair and possibly dropping him was not ok for me. My son is now 2 years old and sleeps in his own bed with no problem at all.

I'm currently breastfeeding my daughter (4months) and have made a better effort at keeping her in the crib; but again, those 3rd and fourth night time feedings are impossible for me to stay awake through, so from about 3am to 7am she is in bed with Hubby and I.

I can understand your anxiety over seperation from your baby, I experienced the same with my son (not so much with my daughter, things are easier second time around). If you start to really feel like you want to put baby in the crib, I reccomend buying an Angel care monitor. It has a sensor that goes under the crib mattress that detects baby's movement and breathing. If baby stops breathing/moving for a certain ammount of time the monitor has an alarm that goes off to alert you. This helped me get over seperation anxiety as I knew if anything happened I'd be awakened by the monitor.

That said, don't let others tell you what to do. Take whatever advice you receive as information only, and consider all angles of the situation. Form your own opinions based on that information and *you* make the decision about what to do. *NO MATTER WHAT*, only you know what's best for your baby, never doubt that.

Jen - posted on 11/16/2009

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Everyone has a different opinion on this issue, including doctors. There are obviously some safety concerns, but there are products available on the market to assist in making your bed safe for baby.

That being said; my son slept all night in my bed until he was 6 months old, at which point I moved him into his crib for the first part of the night and he'd spend the rest in bed with me and hubby. Neither hubby or I EVER rolled over onto our son, and he never suffocated. I breast fed him, and I found that for the first one or two night feedings I could stay awake to put him back in the crib, but after that I'd end up falling asleep during the feeding. I was more comfortable nursing laying down, and the idea of passing out in a chair and possibly dropping him was not ok for me. My son is now 2 years old and sleeps in his own bed with no problem at all.

I'm currently breastfeeding my daughter (4months) and have made a better effort at keeping her in the crib; but again, those 3rd and fourth night time feedings are impossible for me to stay awake through, so from about 3am to 7am she is in bed with Hubby and I.

I can understand your anxiety over seperation from your baby, I experienced the same with my son (not so much with my daughter, things are easier second time around). If you start to really feel like you want to put baby in the crib, I reccomend buying an Angel care monitor. It has a sensor that goes under the crib mattress that detects baby's movement and breathing. If baby stops breathing/moving for a certain ammount of time the monitor has an alarm that goes off to alert you. This helped me get over seperation anxiety as I knew if anything happened I'd be awakened by the monitor.

That said, don't let others tell you what to do. Take whatever advice you receive as information only, and consider all angles of the situation. Form your own opinions based on that information and *you* make the decision about what to do. *NO MATTER WHAT*, only you know what's best for your baby, never doubt that.

Kylie - posted on 11/16/2009

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S.I.D.S say never to have you baby in with you, but a common reason for sids is overheating, if the child is wrapped, and then under the quilt and against your body unable to release the heat. when i was in my classes the midwives told us it was a great bonding time to sleep with your child. when he was born i had a c-section and my milk didnt come through. so i had a very unsettled gaundice baby who constantly wanted to feed, so they even showed me how to feed laying down so i could sleep. i was worried i would roll over on him or something, but subconciously i kow he is there and very cautious. it is wonderful just to be there and cuddle while they are alseep and relaxed

Ty - posted on 11/15/2009

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I let my 3 month old sleep with us, but once she is in a deep sleep and I wake up, I move her to her crib. She will usually stay asleep that way too.

Allison - posted on 11/15/2009

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My daughter is almost 6 months and for the most part she has slept with us. I put her in her crib to start the night off but anywhere from 3-6am she will wake up and ill bring her to bed to nurse her and she stays with us till she wakes up. I dont mind it at all.

Allison - posted on 11/15/2009

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My daughter is almost 6 months and for the most part she has slept with us. I put her in her crib to start the night off but anywhere from 3-6am she will wake up and ill bring her to bed to nurse her and she stays with us till she wakes up. I dont mind it at all.

Carol - posted on 10/25/2009

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we cosleep with our LO, and as far as intimacy goes, lemme tell you, you get creative in choosing the places, lol. it's like the early days for us now XD

Micole - posted on 10/25/2009

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It is you... LOL. I laugh because I have the same problem now. When he was first born I allowed him to sleep with me, until I read about a baby sufacated by a dad. He has slept in his own crib since he was 5wks old. Now that he is 5 months Old, and sleeping 10-12 hours straight. I miss him around 10pm and want to go get him out the crib and hold him. After doing this twice this week, my husband won't allow me to get him, as it will create poor habbits for him. I think we, as Moms, just love them soo much, and want to be there all the time (atleast thats how I feel). I encourage you to allow you daughter to learn the value of a good nights sleep in her OWN bed, then you wont have a hard time when she gets older. just my $.02 Good luck :)

Brenda - posted on 10/25/2009

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When DD was really small I put her in a co sleeper next to me. I regretted that ever so much. I had the hardest time getting her to sleep on her own later. She is nearly two now and has slept alone for 1 1/2 years now. I agree that it is hard to let them grow and be on their own. I can sit for hours and watch her sleep. She is so sweet and small.

Andrea - posted on 10/25/2009

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You are not alone...I really never gave my daughter the opportunity to sleep in her bed. I loved to jus have her cuddle under my armpit and just to watch her sleep...Now shes almost 2 and I want a lil privacy and cant get it LOL

Dawn - posted on 10/25/2009

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my kids slept in the bed with me since they were born. WHEN THEY STARTED SCHOOL THEY WENT TO THEIR OWN BED. BUT ON THE NIGHTS MY HUSBAND WORKS I SLEEP IN THEIR ROOM.

Dawn - posted on 10/25/2009

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Quoting Summer:

Does anyone let their baby sleep in the bed with them?

My daughter is almost 3 months old - and she's my third child. She has never been in her bed. I think it's more me than her. I just love her so much that I don't want to be away from her. Anyone else experience this?


 

Alleah - posted on 10/25/2009

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Quoting laine:

not only do we let out 7 month old sleep in bed with us....we hold him & snuggle up...he's a fat baby & really comfey to lay on! We always let out daughter sleep with us baby till 5...&Y we got her a new bed along with a new room...she was outta our bed! I love sleeping with my kids & wouldnt have it any other way!



I laughed out loud at: "he's a fat baby & really comfey to lay on! "  I'm sure somebody's gonna be all 'DON'T LAY ON YOUR BABY, RAWR but i think I know what you mean, lol!  babies in the bed are coooomfy!

Shana - posted on 10/25/2009

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my daughter sleeps with us it startes wen she was 8months and i really wana get her out but she just knows....

Kaitlyn - posted on 10/25/2009

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Hey me too! My boy is just over a month, I didn't think I would be comfortable with him in bed with me, but it's so much easier right now, I sleep better, he sleeps better. I like seeing him right there. I know I'll have to start moving him into his own bed sometime, but I've read babies don't really start developing habits til after 6 months? So I figure I have a little time to work things out. Good luck!

Monica - posted on 10/25/2009

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We let her get in our bed in the morning while we're awake but not to sleep. I do let her sleep in my arms or chest and then put her in her crib. The child classes we took also advised not to have them sleep in the bed because its dangerous. Also, I slept in my parents bed until I was 8 years old so not sure it's that easy to break the habit.

Ashley - posted on 10/25/2009

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my second daughter is almost two and has slept in her own bed maybe 3 times ever. i love the closeness, but as she gets bigger, i feel alittle croweded in the bed, and have alot of trouble sleeping. I am torn between trying to make her sleep in her bed (and being lonely) or leaving her in mine (and not getting any sleep).

[deleted account]

How are you sleeping when she's in your bed? Does she sleep long enough when she's with you? I know exactly how you feel. my son was born at 33 weeks and spent 6 weeks in the NICU (he's almost 5 months now). So when I finally got him home I always had him sleep in bed with me. I was so happy he was home and healthy, and I love him so very much that I just couldn't sleep without him. As the weeks went on it got easier to put him in his crib and sleep alone. I know it's a great feeling having that little one snuggled up with you, but sometimes it's better to take a night off and sleep alone. You'll get more rest and she will probably sleep longer=)

Cortnie - posted on 10/25/2009

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I went through that when my son was born... but now that he is a little older (9 months), I am more comfortable with him sleeping in his own bed. But every now and then I still have him sleep in bed with me... I just love cuddling with him. He is a total cuddle bug when he gets sleepy and when he falls asleep in my arms, I can't help but to just let him stay with me. But he doesn't stay with me too often, I don't want him getting in the habbit of only being able to sleep in mommies bed, he sleeps really well in his own crib and i want to keep it that way.

Priscilla - posted on 10/25/2009

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We let our first born, Adia sleep in our bed after she was born because she didn't want to sleep in her playard anymore and it was the only way we could get her to sleep. That was a big mistake!!It is four years later and we are just now getting her to sleep in her own bed after a lot of tears and difficulty ans we're still not completely there. I didn't make that mistake with my second child and she has slept in her own bed since the beginning. Don't do it, you will regret it.

MARIA - posted on 10/25/2009

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Quoting Summer:

Does anyone let their baby sleep in the bed with them?

My daughter is almost 3 months old - and she's my third child. She has never been in her bed. I think it's more me than her. I just love her so much that I don't want to be away from her. Anyone else experience this?



hello.i am maria fromm greece.iuse to have the same probleme with my daughter(she is 17monts now).i moved her away from our bed wen she was 10 months.it
's abig problem but now tha your baby is to small she can use to sleep in her bed.you have to let her sleep alone,because she is going to bee "mothers child"and she has to bee indipented.it was very dificult for me too but we have to think our babies first and then ourselves.it is beter for her,believe me.good luck maria.

MARIA - posted on 10/25/2009

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hello.i am maria fromm greece.iuse to have the same probleme with my daughter(she is 17monts now).i moved her away from our bed wen she was 10 months.it

's abig problem but now tha your baby is to small she can use to sleep in her bed.you have to let her sleep alone,because she is going to bee "mothers child"and she has to bee indipented.it was very dificult for me too but we have to think our babies first and then ourselves.it is beter for her,believe me.good luck maria.

Julia - posted on 10/25/2009

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My lil boy is now 7 months and I could not imagine spending a night without him in my arms. I love his smell, coos and touches @ night. It is sooo soothing and I fall asleep right along with him.

Melissa - posted on 10/25/2009

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My husband and I have with our first son. Yes you and your child may sleep better but when they get alittle bit older than they are always going to sleep with you. You are going to have to try to break them out of the habit. We used to get into trouble with my mother-in-law because she's a nurse and she says that the longer you wait to put them in their own beds the harder the habit is to break. I know that it is a secure thing and you want them with you at all times. When we had our second son we just put him in the bassinet in our room right beside us and that worked pretty good. That's just my opinion anyways. Hope this helps if any.

Paulina - posted on 10/25/2009

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Yea definitely. My little one is coming up on 4 months- and I hear that now's the time to start putting him in his crib- but I love cuddling and sleeping with him. I think I'll wait till he's 6 months.

Lottie - posted on 10/25/2009

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My son is 3 months old and I still wake up in the night thinking that we're laying on him.....we've never had him sleep in the bed with us so I'm not sure where this has come from but it's terrifying! I won't have him in the bed because I'm afraid it'll turn to reality!

Sharon - posted on 10/24/2009

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I never let my son sleep with me. I have seen it go bad to many times you get a 5 6 or older sleeping in there bed cause they never learn to sleep by them selfs.

Norzaimah - posted on 10/24/2009

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It goes the same with me with my fourth....just feel soo comfy when sleeping with her....

Lisa - posted on 10/24/2009

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I did for awhile. But the sooner you break the habbit the better. You also need some time with your husband to relax. Just make sure you make time for Mommy as well as Daddy and Mommy. It's not selfish it's deserving.

Kourtney - posted on 10/24/2009

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i don't mind letting my little one sleep with me.. as long as my husband isn't home..he is in the army but he doesn't like her sleeping with us b/c he is afraid that he will roll over on her...she does perfectly fine going from my bed to her bed and she sleeps ok like that..

Sarah - posted on 10/24/2009

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my daughter is going on five she sleeps with me sometimes when she is really sleeping i bring her in her room,but if you leave with her in her room i find out she will sleep just wants to be near us till she falls asleep

Amy - posted on 10/24/2009

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Guilty!! My son is 2 1/2 and he just started sleeping in his own bed. He has been sleeping in our bed since we brought him home from the hospital. I was paranoid about SIDS and was terrified that he would stop breathing in his sleep. The minute we got him his toddler bed, he has been sleeping in it and he loves it! I also have a 8 month old daughter who has been sleeping in her crib since we brought her home, but since my son is not sleeping in our bed anymore, I sneak her in bed with me when she wakes up in the early wee hours of the morning...lol! I just love being close to them...lol!

Amanda - posted on 10/24/2009

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There was times when my son was little that he would fall asleep in my arms and I couldn't put him down but never would I take him in the bed. I was always to scared that I may fall fast asleep and accidentally roll over on top of him. I was also told by my public health nurse that it is to dangerous because of reasons like that. But I do know people that have only let their children sleep in their bed and their fine. Personally I would not because the risks out way the good. Try keeping her in a bassinet next to your bed if you like. It's really your choice. That is what I did with my son for the first few months.

Sara - posted on 10/24/2009

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No b/c it will be harder for them to sleep in there own bed when they get older. Only time my 1 yr old sleeps in my bad is when she is not feeling good or when she is sick that is the only time

Jessa - posted on 10/24/2009

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My 5 month old daughter has been sleeping in the same room as me and my fiance since she was born, first in her bassinet and now her crib (we live in a 2 bedroom apartment with a roommate). I can hear every move she makes when we're sleeping (of course my fiance hears nothing lol) we have a king size bed and if my hubby is in bed i refuse to bring our daughter in bed with us cuz i dont feel like he is "sensitive" enough of her where abouts in our bed. AND because i dont want to go through the hassle of trying to get her to sleep by her self when shes old enough. In the morning though when my hubby is off to work and my daughter and i nap i will bring her in bed with me.. i just put enough space so that shes in arms reach and i can see her when i open my eyes.

Holly - posted on 10/24/2009

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Also...it's all about consistency and repetition. I give my son his last bottle for the evening at the same time every night in his bedroom w/ very little talking and/or stimulation so he will relax. Then lay him in his crib when he's done burping, etc., and relaxed. He's in bed every night at 10:30 and sleeps till 6:30. It took us 6 weeks though before this happened. Let her get used to environment. Every child is different. Good-Luck!

Kimberly - posted on 10/24/2009

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my son sleep with me for almost a year but getting him to his own bed wasn't a really hard it's getting out of his bed that i find hard hes very independant. but he still comes to get in my bed when he's sick.

Cynthia - posted on 10/24/2009

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I did.. and now she's 4, and still wants to sleep on the bed with me... It's a tough battle trying to get them to sleep alone, once they have the comforts of mommy to nestle up to.. And this can cause co-dependency issues if not full on dependency issues.

Amanda - posted on 10/24/2009

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yeah with my first kid we let her sleep in the bed with us since she was 2 months old she almost two now and we have so many problems trying to get her to sleep in her own bed now she wont stay in her room she has to be in ours when she realizes shes in her own bed she starts screaming on top of her lungs

Brandi - posted on 10/24/2009

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LOL! Join the club! My oldest didn't sleep in his crib until a month or so prior to his first bday and my youngest only stays in the bassinet sometimes! I was a matter of space at first and then they just got attached to my bed. When the second one came along, it was merely the fact that I was too tired to move her. I don't see a problem with it, but it will be harder to start a schedule.



www.homehealthwellness.info

Caterose1 - posted on 10/24/2009

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Quoting Nicole:

I know how you feel but you have to let her sleep in her own crib. My Mom was that way with my little sister and she ended up sleeping with my parents until she was 10 years old. I only let my son sleep with me when he is sick and need Mommy sleep time. I saw how many times my Mom tried to get my little sister to sleep in a bed and it just didn't work. It was very hard on her and she was super stressed every time it was time to attempt to have her sleep in her own room.



Im going through the same thing, my son slept in bed with me from newborn but now he's 2 he wont sleep in his own bed and all I want is a full peaceful nights sleep without him waking up half way through, crying to come in with me. Its so stressful and the last thing you need in the middle of the night. I wouldnt make the same mistake with the next.

Barbara - posted on 10/24/2009

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I have 3 children who have all slept with me. It was our special bonding time and we loved every minute of it. They knew where I was and I knew where they were. We all slept wonderful!!!! My two older girls (8 and 6) have slept in their own rooms for a long time but my little boy who is 3 still sleeps with us. Our crib never got used LOL It was very convenient for us in regards to feeding them when they were little, we never had to get out of bed. I think that we got far more rest!!!!!

Fay - posted on 10/24/2009

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my son is almost 2 years, the first year he used to sleep with me in my bed everyday i just love to smell his tiny head and feel his breath, when he turned 1 year i moved him to his bed, he still sometimes want to sleep with me but only if he is sick or scared. i am expecting now and i think i will just do the same with my new baby :)

Sarah - posted on 10/24/2009

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my son is 13 months old and he has slept with me everynight since he was born.....i just love falling asleep to the sound of him breathing and cuddling with him. but now im thinking of putting an end to it...i woke up this morning to him pouring his bottle of milk into my hair!

Jean - posted on 10/24/2009

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I have 3 childern they all sleep in our bed at one time or another, we love it... they say childern who sleep the bed with paarent are far more secure...... and happier, for us it is definateley thru i have never met more confident childern in my life i am not saying this because i they r mine but of all the childern i know they confindent hope this helps...

Paula - posted on 10/24/2009

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I have felt the unbeatable love that makes you do what they want! I had my first child 6m ago and we have a understanding. He can sleep with me to be put to sleep but can not stay. It is very dangerous, remember her safety first. To keep you close to her though put her crib in your room. That way you both get your space but have each other close and safe

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