Does everyone have to ask?

Saundra - posted on 03/01/2010 ( 100 moms have responded )

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I am a week away from having my third baby. I don't want to seem cranky and hormonal, but does every person in public have to ask my due date? And if it's not that it's something like "wow, you're about to pop!" It's driving me crazy, I'm worried I might end up chewing someone out! I just don't get why people want to mess with very pregnant ladies!

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Samantha - posted on 03/06/2010

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I hear where you're coming from one that one , Pregnancy seems to make people forget about personal space altogether,,I was really irritated with all the questions and people wanting to touch my belly when I had my daughter too,,but now 7 yrs later & pregnant with my second bundle oh joy I realize that making pregnant women magnets for stupid people must just be Gods way of preparing us for how patient and understanding were going to have to be as mothers. However missguieded these lookyloos are , they're just excited for us and mean no harm by it. I say take it in stride there's going to be so much more important things to stress over once the baby's here. =)

Mollie - posted on 03/03/2010

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I am so with you. Pregnancy isn't a public event just because you can see it. I can't think of anything more personal. With my first I was a waitress. I seriously thought I was going to kill someone. I almost took one ladies head off when she, a perfect stranger never even been in the resteraunt before, reached out and touched my stomach. I don't know why people think it's okay to touch a stranger in such a personal way just because she's pregnant. I was not one of those friendly pregnant women either time.

Bekah - posted on 03/02/2010

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What really got to me was complete strangers coming up and touching my belly . I was in the mall one day walking around and i had my daughter only about 2 month at the time in a bodywrap and was nursing her completely covered and some lady just walked up to me opened it up without asking or anything and so quickly i didn't have time to do anything and the whole mall saw my boob hanging out .. I was so pissed. People think that if your pregnant or have a baby that personal space boundaries don't apply anymore its bs.

Angela - posted on 03/02/2010

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I didn't leave my house for almost the last month. I couldn't handle it either.

Erica - posted on 03/02/2010

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I really don't think that people are trying to annoy you. Having a baby is an exciting thing. I don't ever ask people their due dates or make any comment except "Do you know the sex?" I know it gets on a lot of peoples nerves. Just keep in mind that people don't realize their annoying you. Plus, since this is your 3rd, you'll know that after he/she is born everyone will ask their name and how old they are. Some strangers just can't help but ask just because their excited and they think it's okay.

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Destiny - posted on 03/06/2010

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Personally, I hate to ask that question, usually I say, you must be so excited! sounds kind of corny but i hated being asked a ton of questions, yet that one never bothered me. The worst question came after she was born and i got asked when she was due. eeek. Hope it all works out, sometimes you just gotta be cranky to get people to leave you alone.

Melissa - posted on 03/06/2010

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lol i started getting that question and "wow you must be about to pop" look when i was about 4 months pregnant with my twin boys... needless to say i was put on bed rest shortly after that cuz i am small figured and couldnt handle the weight and preassure they caused so quickly.. i had literally no time to adjust.... luckily though you only have a few more days of it HANG IN THERE! AND GOOD LUCK ON YOUR BIRTH!!!!

Michelle - posted on 03/06/2010

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Is it mainly older people? I found that the older ladies always wanted to touch my bump or ask me the sex. It drove me round the bend. After having my daughter, all the older men kept saying 'what a cute little boy' even when she was dressed head to toe in pink, that was my really pet hate. One women even asked if I was pregnant or just fat, could have punched her lol. If the hormones take over, then you plead insanity - 'I can't help my mood swings, I'm heavily pregnant' - best excuse in the world love.x

Taryn - posted on 03/06/2010

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I completely agree. people think that just because there's a growing child in there that means it public property. With the touching and the questions and the comments on how pregnant you look. I hated all of it as well thats why i stayed inside so much when i was pregnant

Heather - posted on 03/06/2010

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I agree! I was due April 8th last year and worked clear until I delivered (which I was induced the day after my due date!) For 3 weeks before my due date I would answer the phone and I would hear (patients and co-workers alike) Wow! Youre STILL there? He just doesnt want to come out! I had to just start ignoring it and focus on work. then we had 2 Drs and a new HR rep start while I was pregnant, that asked me the week before I was Due when I was Due. WHen I responded with "tuesday" they were like no whats youre due date? to which I had to respond "Seriously I'm due this coming tuesday"

I think work just got so used to seeing me pregnant it was second nature for them. I started wearing maternity clothes at 4 months because I couldnt let anything push on my belly and I had a Large baby ( he always measured atleast 1 week further then he should have) so the questions came in very early.

Elizabeth - posted on 03/06/2010

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I HATED that!! and when people would ask me "are you excited?" finally I started answering NO, not in the least, I got some funny looks..but it shut them up none the less!

Saundra - posted on 03/06/2010

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Thanks for all the awesome posts everyone! I'm glad that I can laugh about it more now! This is going to be my third boy! I know about that belly touching, drives me crazy too. Not so much if it's a female, but a creepy dude! I punched the same guy twice at my work that would not get the hint. Then the third time he went to touch me he asked if it was ok! I almost punched him for that! I don't know why pervert guys seem to get worse when you're prego. It's like the one's that are always trying to get a peak when you are breast feeding! I'm going to try nursing shirts this time with extra coverage!

Holly Jay - posted on 03/06/2010

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I know what you mean, it can get annoying, but i seemed to have all these total strangers around me ( i worked in a small cafe till i was 7 months gone) that thought nothing of just stroking my bump and things without asking! now that really bothered me! xxx

Aimee - posted on 03/06/2010

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I got really mad because suspence was killing me! Finally I just told them maybe tomarrow! :)

Kirsten - posted on 03/06/2010

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I hated being constantly asked, i even had random people touch my belly. Towards my due date i did get snappy and nasty towards people that wouldn't talk about anything else. Just find a away of firmly saying shut up and go away with out being to offensive. It worked for me.

Tanya - posted on 03/06/2010

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they don't i use to get the same thing all the time just take it easy ur goin through some mood swings that's all

Amy - posted on 03/06/2010

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Girl,I know what you mean...People are frustrating me so much!I wanna snap just about everyone's heads off!This is my second child,my first was a boy and with him I was pretty hormonal but with this one im wayyyyy worse,I wonder if its cause im having a girl...?What are you having?If you dont mind me asking lol

Karen - posted on 03/06/2010

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LOL!! I understand!! LOL! I think my best friend had a guy tell her when she was preggers that she was "well, your just, well ROUND!" She couldn't decide if she wanted to hit him, laugh, or cry....she hit him....but now we laugh about it and being "round"!

Tiffany - posted on 03/05/2010

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haha yeah
from the moment you get pregnant it's:
"Oh my god you're pregnant!"
"When are you due?"
"Do you know if it's a boy or a girl?"
"Have you picked out a name?"

over and over and over haha.
By the 3rd trimester I was going to tape a sign to the front of me that said:
Yes.
July 19th.
Boy.
No.

haha

Meghan - posted on 03/05/2010

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Aw I didn't mind at all when people asked me that, because I was so excited!!! But I guess I could see that some people would get sick of it... idk. Now I feel like I always want to ask pregnant people that too since I have a baby of my own. Now I'll probably think twice before I do ask though. I don't want to piss anyone off lol

Anna - posted on 03/05/2010

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If I knew the person it was nbd. most people would say aww how far along are you? really? now way! those comments i liked but the other ones im like uggh go away
I actually had a pooh bear maternity shirt that said in big colorful letters hands off the belly.. the only tim fam bugged me was when I was comin back from my nightly "tap dance" relief n all i wanted to do was gb2b n my father in law stopped me to feel her move lol
It gets better hun :)

Rachel - posted on 03/05/2010

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Never bothered me to be asked questions and the WOW your huge are you having twins never bothered me b/c I WAS huge and I loved it the bigger the better LOL. What I did NOT like was when strangers would rub my belly Thought that was a lil creepy but friends and relatives I did not mind rub away!

Laura - posted on 03/05/2010

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omg i no wat u mean it drove me crazy 2 wen i was 18 i was preggy wit my first and i was so big from about 5 months it looked more like 8 months and every where i went all i wud get is wow ur about 2 pop arnt u and bloody hell u shud b at home u due soon arnt u all i wanted 2 do was go the shop and get sum milk without being questioned an av random people commenting on my belly or even coming up and touching my belly so yea me hates it 2 ad 4 months of it was finally glad weni ad had her then wen i was out 4 the first time my mom ad my daughter and went the lo and sum women was like aaaww u avin ur baby soon "cheaky cow" thought i ad seen the end of that lol then agen i ad only ad her a few days befor but even so made me feel crappy so yea if u feel like it giv em sum lip back xx

Tiffany - posted on 03/05/2010

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just be happy they aren't asking to touch your belly or reaching for it with out even attempting to ask

Hannah - posted on 03/05/2010

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Wow, after reading all these posts, I feel like a minority. I LOVED everything about being pregnant and it showed. I wasn't tired, miserable or anything, not even in the last month. I also didn't mind people asking me questions about my pregnancy, I liked the attention. Now I have only had 1 child so far, so maybe it does get old, but from my experience, it never bothered me at all. Hopefully my next pregnancy will be as enjoyable as my first.

Jessica - posted on 03/05/2010

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Haha, same problem before. I'm so glad I don't live in the states anymore. Wonder why many American's feel the need to say those kinds of things.....I mean complete strangers asked to touch my stomach! Weird!! Nobody wants to know they're as big as a horse, do they???

You'll laugh about this later I'm sure...Hang in there!

Stardust - posted on 03/05/2010

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I know the feeling. I actually had complete strangers make a b-line for me in the store and rub all over my belly! And of course the "wow your huge" comments. I don't really know why people do that it made me very uncomfortable! I guess when people see New Life in you as a prenant women it makes them happy. but i definatly think that alot of people just over step the stranger boundries.lol good luck

Megan - posted on 03/05/2010

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I had an older woman come up to me when i was pregnant with my twins and say "wow! you're huge! When are you due?" Worse, she did this while she was touching my stomach. I just politely smiled and said "oh, I'm sorry, you must be from someplace where it's ok to run around touching strangers." Her and her friends stayed away from me the rest of the time I was in the store! Just get creative about your answers!

Courtney - posted on 03/05/2010

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I always wanted to make a shirt that said "Due: Nov. 30. Girl. Yes I'm tired. No you can't touch my belly".

Tanya - posted on 03/05/2010

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I wondered the same thing when I was close to having my daughter. It drove me insane! Not to mention the absolute strangers that would come up and try to touch my belly...

Nicole - posted on 03/05/2010

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ow yeah by no 3 i was huge and at 6mths they would ask if im due in a couple days and by full term they would ask how many! I was not pleasant as if im not self concious that i put on 20kg without the whole world pointing it out!

Rebecca - posted on 03/05/2010

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Haha. Yes! I hated that. I just got to the point where I wouldn't even say anything or notice their presence. I gained well over 50lbs with my daughter and so even when I was as little as 5 or 6 months, people started saying that. You're allowed to be a bitch, you're pregnant.

Kristie - posted on 03/04/2010

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i loved talking to people about my baby belly. people would ask to touch it and i didnt mind. i know some women dont like that. i LOVE being pregnant. despite my absolute physical misery it was one of the best things in my life! i have had two children and would like another. try to look at the bright side. i know its hard when you feel miserable. but being "huge and about to pop" is a wonderful thing despite it all :)

Danielle - posted on 03/04/2010

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I got really cranky like that too! I especially hated when somebody would touch my stomach!

Sara - posted on 03/04/2010

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AND. . . took keep those prying, nosy strangers from your baby. . . it's best to WEAR the baby. My son would be oh so snug in his Moby Wrap against me that when someone would ask, "is that a baby in there" (first I'd fight back my sarcasm) I'd respond, yes it is, he's sleeping, no you can't see him.

Sara - posted on 03/04/2010

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you guys need to perfect the "don't fn touch me, or i'll kill you" look. According to my husband. . . I perfected this when I was pregnant. I really would have broken someone's hand, or arm had they tried to touch me pregnant or not. After talking with other friends, I'm really grateful that I give off that vibe. I never had anyone ask me about my pregnancy or ask to touch my belly. Strangers beware! Put on your best glower and venture out and see if anyone asks!

Heather - posted on 03/04/2010

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thats one of my biggest "fears." i hate when strangers talk to me. thankfully, my husband and i are a little prepared. if someone tries to touch my belly when i'm huge, my husband plans to touch theirs to see how they like it. that'll make em think twice! mwahahaha! we also have no problem telling them to back off. i hardly like my FRIENDS giving me a hug let alone a STRANGER grabbing at me! oh, but i can't wait to see them try when i'm around my husband. ITS GONNA BE AWESOME. i should bring a camera with me everywhere to catch their reaction... :P

Byra - posted on 03/04/2010

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Ok I didn't read all the post so sorry if I repeat someone, but just get a shirt with your due date on it or maybe a pin so you can put it on any shirt. It is just the nature of being pregnant.

Jessica - posted on 03/04/2010

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haha i know whatcha mean i had people try to rub my belly while im shopping!!!! had so many people i didnt know come up and start asking me hella questions

Danielle - posted on 03/04/2010

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No one EVER asked me when my due date was, or how far along I was. I got a lot of rude looks, but never a kind comment. And in my last months I was HUGE SWOLLEN and MISERABLE. A kind comment would have been nice from a stranger, but in the end I ended up with a beautiful little boy.

Kyla - posted on 03/04/2010

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I had my first son in August of 09 and I was 11 days overdue, it was summer and I was as big as a house and I got looks everywhere I went, finally I yelled.. very loudly at a woman who wouldn't stop staring that "I AM PREGNANT" and my boyfriend quickly ushered me outside but I couldn't take it any longer. And all the phone calls from family asking if I had the baby yet, I finally turned my phone off in the mornings (the only time I could sleep before it got scorching hot) and told everyone not to call me.. I would notify them when I had the baby. I feel your pain.

Leron - posted on 03/04/2010

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My favorite is when you're like 25 months pregnant and big as a barn and people say haven't you had that baby yet>? and you want so badly to say yeah ya know I did...but i liked feeling like a hippo so bad that I went ahead and had them give me a stomach transplant!!

Jamie - posted on 03/04/2010

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It does get pretty annoying. I consider myself a friendly person but when complete strangers start probing you for answers and try touching your belly it's just plain weird. After awhile it just seems ridiculous. Sometimes I just wanted to make a run for it. But sadly after you have your baby then everyone wants to know everything about your baby. Which you are very proud of your new addition but I didn't really want strangers in my business. And I don't like people I don't even know trying to touch my baby!

Tiffany - posted on 03/04/2010

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I Hated it too, I was Huge by 7 months so i heard it a lot. In My opinion, chew 'em out, let 'em have it. If they've ever known someone pregnant then they will understand the hormones can take over and they'll let it go.. I hated people wanting to touch my belly them most, i like my personal space.

Trish - posted on 03/03/2010

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wow... reading half of these replies really opened my eyes! I was told I wouldnt be able to have kids so when I did fal pregnant I was so damn proud I wanted to answer everyones questions. Ive never had a stranger touch my belly but now Im 5 months pregnant with my 3rd baby I wouldnt want to have a stranger try!! Id probably snap their heads off!! I kinda dont mond ppl asking when Im due coz Im told Im small for my dates.. which I find odd coz I feel big lol! I love the tee shirts ideas! I so want one with my due date on it now and The Boob GRAB!! OMG HILARIOUS! I so wouldnt have the guts to try that! Honestly if you arent comfortabe, simply say so huni, Im sure peope wil understand and if they dont, we thats thier problem isnt it :) Good Luck!!

Breanna - posted on 03/03/2010

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One other time a Friend of a Friend who I had met I think maybe once or twice asked me if I was pregnant. (I was clearly showing at this point). I made a disgusted face an said "what is that a fat joke or something? " the look on his face was priceless!! But he is the only one I was ever able to joke like that with.

Breanna - posted on 03/03/2010

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When I was Overdue with my daughter (by about 3 days) My mom and my in laws decided that we would go for some sea side fish and chips and go for a walk along the ocean trail to see if walking would keep my mind off of some of the discomfort I was experiencing. Jason(Keira's Dad) and I were walking just ahead of our mom's. About half way through the walk I finally asked them what was so FUNNY!!!
Apparently all of the people that were walking past Jason and I were just starting to make "wow that woman must be having quads" faces and comments to each other... just in time for my mom and mother in law to hear...
I got a good chuckle out of that...
But all through my pregnancy lots of people asked me if I was sure that it was just one baby in there.

Heather - posted on 03/03/2010

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i have a three year old little boy, bt when i was pregnant with him i was huge so not only did i get asked my due date but also if i was carrying twins... that just plain ticked me off.... another thing that i hated was people trying to touch your belly and when you finally have your baby nd you go out do you find that people you don't even know want to touch your infant baby? i am not germ a phobic but i did not like some stranger touching my child... i don't even know if the peoples habnds were clean...

Heather - posted on 03/03/2010

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I hated it too, and often thought about telling them I was just fat, but never actually did it. lol

The day before my son was born my waters broke and the hospy, after a check up, sent me home to wait for contractions. We went to the shops and someone asked me when my due date was and I said "actually my waters broke this morning". The expression on her face was priceless. And she said with absolute horror in her voice "shouldn't you be at the hospital?!"
Still makes me laugh to remember the look she gave my partner and I.

Only one person rubbed my belly without asking permission first, my mother. I had a go at her and said something along the lines of you rub mine I'll rub yours!

Holly - posted on 03/03/2010

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i remember that and it was very annoying...but there is just one more thing even more annoying is after you have the baby and ppl think they can just walk up and touch it! that made me get angry at quite a few ppl. im talking total strangers! ewww. then they would act like i was in the wrong but c'mon you dont just touch other ppl babies...especially newborns!

Jessica - posted on 03/03/2010

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i remember people asking me how long before i was due and i remember the time i said oh about four months left and then i was told that i must be having twins... but what really gets me is when people ask a pregnant lady how she is feeling... when you have to know( well maybe not) that she is feeling like crap and about to take a couple of heads off starting with the man who get her pregnant....

Heather - posted on 03/03/2010

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Yes, this a very miseerable time! Everyone and evry thing gets on your nerves! I completely understand! But just remember... a few more weeks and the well pregnancy part will all be over! I was the exact same way with my third! Oh and the best are complete strangers wanting to touch the belly!

Shaina - posted on 03/03/2010

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I completely understand your situation! When I was 40 weeks pregnant, I had my baby shower, I informed my mother in law that I did not want to play the "Guess how big around mommy's tummy is" cause I probably would have killed anyone who would have touched my stomach. I hated having anyone touch me short of my fiance and Rowan wouldn't kick for anyone but him anyway. I also got tired of when someone would ask how far along I was, but I guess I gave people dirty looks when they asked because they never told me I was about to pop. If you chew someone out, go ahead because it's when your pregnant that you can get away with anything and blam it on hormones later on. Plus if it's not someone that you know, in all honesty when are you ever going to see them again?

Sarah - posted on 03/03/2010

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I totally agree. I just had my third baby January 23rd. I felt like I should just pin a piece of paper to my shirt and put my due date on it. Even the people I worked with were asking me fifty million times. I felt like I was just going to explode on the next person that said that to me too. It's like they have never seen a pregnant women before. I love how people have to remind me that I'm getting bigger like I don't know. It is usually the women that were driving me crazy the men were so much more supportive believe it or not.

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