Does Facebook ruin relationships?? SHARE opinions, stories, etc please!!!

Chesnie - posted on 02/18/2013

My husband has one but he doesn't update or anything, but he always has a smart remark or comment when I'm on mine. (I have more time than he does). When I say something he will say where did you hear that? I'll say Facebook and he'll say "oooooohhhh Facebook huh" lol it has caused drama in ours but its his insecurity not mine...

Marianna - posted on 09/17/2012

I am on both sides of this...my bf uses it as a promotional tool for a show he does, hes hot and the chicks go after him. I have full access on his page with his login. However , its so incredibly difficult to see his likes, his posts and of course the hot chicks , bikini pics , lingerie and such. They flirt with him...so he acknowledges and plays back...BUT its not at all fun to see. I have to develop a tougher skin i suppose. Look, all men "look" , But before FB , us women didnt need to see just what and who they were looking at. You cant "un-see" posts from some georgeous hottie who has honey dripping for your man. I should mention, the reason im even on his site is because im his graphic artist and business partner for the show. But i must admit, and rather sheepishly as well , i go on to see what he sees and who is getting his attention. Before FB, he would call me to just chat....now its way easier and more fun to chat with all the girls. Jealous much? U bet.

Blanca - posted on 09/01/2012

Amen to that!

Anne - posted on 08/31/2012

Facebook doesn't ruin lives/relationships. What people do on Facebook ruins lives/relationships. The things my husband has done on Facebook has caused major issues in our relationship to the point that we are seperated currently. But I don't blame Facebook. I blame my stupid husband. He didn't have to "friend" the people he did. He didn't have to have innapropriate contact with other women on Facebook. He made those choices, not Facebook. Facebook is a computer program. How can you blame something inadiment for the conscious choices someone has made? Or couples therapist told me we have to get rid of our Facebook pages if we want our marriage to work. I absolutely refuse. I am a stay at home mom and sometimes Facebook is the only way I get to socialize. Besides, I am not the one who used my Facebook page to try to hook up with someone outside of my marriage so why am I to be punished? Don't hate the game, hate the player.

Tori - posted on 08/16/2012

I'm honestly not trying to be antagonistic, but it's my feeling that anything that happens on Facebook (or any other social media for that matter) can't possibly hurt a relationship unless you're insecure. My husband and I both have FB accounts and we both have "potential rivals" on our friends lists; we don't have any exes "friended" but if he did it wouldn't bother me. People can be friends without being "involved" It's really not a big deal unless you make it into one.

Internet tech doesn't make it easier to have affairs any more than the telephone or your car. If you're constantly worried about your spouse having an affair, with someone on the internet/RL, that's a good sign you need to either re-evaluate your choice of spouse, or re-evaluate your personal issues and ask yourself WHY you are worried about it. Trust is paramount.

Kelly - posted on 08/16/2012

I absolutely believe that it does. My "fiance" and I were living apart because I was in the military and then I read the post he put about me and then about dates that he had been on. Girls that he had been with and such forth. To me its not worth posting eveything online. Keep business to self is what I always say and his friends got involved in a lot of the drama. His facebook is splattered with negative comments about me and his friends making comments about me along with his family. I still see it and it comes back to haunt me sometimes but now I just have to deal with it, But our relationship will never be the way that it was.

Carolee - posted on 07/28/2011

I love Failbook!

Stifler's - posted on 07/28/2011

Some things you read on there it's just like..................... were you drunk when you wrote this?!

Holly - posted on 07/28/2011

Ha ha! My aunt does that (the one I mentioned in my first post). I LOVE the "hide" button so I don't have to see her activity and her asshole-ishness anymore :)

Beautiful - posted on 07/28/2011

Exactly lol. If I post anything its usualy always some thing smart ass that made me laugh so I decided to share it lol. But I dont ever post my personal stuff there because i dont need everybodys opinion, and my husband never did either. In fact there were alot of times when we would read status updats and laugh at the people posting them and then getting mad because someone had the nerve to comment on it! Its like "if you didtn want feedback.. why did you post it?"

Stifler's - posted on 07/28/2011

LOL Brandi I love when people are like " why duz every1 need to comment on mah bizness".. maybe because you update your status with every little thing all day!

Alecia - posted on 07/28/2011

i dnt think FB causes prblms...people cause prblms. i have a FB bcuz its a great way to keep up with friends and family, share photos, etc. and since there are certian people id like to say things to, but cant bcuz it would cause prblms, i like to be a lil passive aggressive sometimes :p but only bcuz otherwise my hubby would not like what i have to say to his family :\

Beautiful - posted on 07/28/2011

My husband cancled his account a few weeks ago. Earlier that morning I had seen that he added or accepted a friend request from an old girfriend ( he had ex's already on it, that didnt bother me) but adding this particular female upset me because from my husbands own mouth "she probably would try something thats how she is" well why the f@%k did you add her then!? Did I think he woul dcheat? No I didnt I trust him but not most other women, women are shady I know this I'm a woman. And those shady ones give us good ones a bad name. Him having her on there made me uncomfortable and a little pissed so he ended up taking it down.But what is stupid is... he works with other women! Im going off about someone on the computer when later that night he would be spending the entire night with women working.. hello! Lol. I think their should be some kind of courtisy boundries when a couple has their own facebook... or just share one.

So do I think facebook causes some problems, I guess it could if you let it. Do I think it causes people to cheat? Nope, if someone wants to cheat they will do it with or with out the help of any online social network.

As far as posting your personal business thats just stupid. If you are posting that its an open invitation for all o fyour "friends" to comment and put their two cents in, thats YOUR bad for making your personal life public.

Stifler's - posted on 07/26/2011

He doesn't actually check Facebook that much I'm guessing and has never updated his status.

Stifler's - posted on 07/26/2011

My husband and I have all our exes, old friends, family, people we don't even like. It's the facebook way. We don't have each other's password and I don't care what he says on there, we're entitled to privacy and be friends with who we like. At the end of the day he works, comes home and spends all his time with me and the kids anyway. I've never had a facebook stalker or any of the drama. I love laughing at other people's fights and passive agressive status'. I defriend people who annoy me.

Carolee - posted on 07/26/2011

If you put somethin stupid on Facebook, that's your choice/fault. If you friend your exes, that's your choice/fault. If you decide to cheat on your spouse, that's your choice/fault. It doesn't matter what medium you choose. That's kind of like blaming the existance of needles for a heroin addiction. It's not the existance of the needles that made you (general) an addict, it's the fact that you, at some point, CHOSE (for 99% of people) to put that heroin in your body (the other 1% is for those who are victims and have actually had somebody tie them down so they could be injected).

Holly - posted on 07/26/2011

I'm with September. I can control what I say/do on FB and I control who I am friends with on there. Even if I *had* to put someone on there (like I had to add my aunt, even though I don't like her, to "keep the peace" in our family) I can hide their activity so I don't have to look at it or care.

I do have an ex on there, but it's nothing for my hubby to worry about (and I told hubby before I added the ex - hubby's fine with it because he knows I love HIM and dumped the ex to be with my hubby). My husband doesn't have his own account (he thinks the government uses social networking sites to spy on us... lol), but he does have all the log-in in for for mine and knows he can always go on there (though, to my knowledge, he never has).

Now, I had another ex on there for about a week, but the guy (a high school boyfriend - we only "dated" for about 6 months) kept sending me instnat messages on there saying how he wished we had never broken up, how he wished my kids were his too, and kept saying how he's a hero now (he joined the Army a little over a year ago). Yeah, it was creepy and after a couple conversations with him where I repeatedly asked him to stop being a weirdo, I deleted him. I also saved all the conversations and told my hubby all about them (I may be paranoid, but I figure if I disapear my hubby has a place to start looking... that's how crazy this guy was talking). Fortunately, I don't put any of my contact info on FB (my city isn't even on there). I figure everyone who needs to know that info already knows it and I don't need to put it on FB...

Anyway, I have my FB mainly to keep up with my friends and family since I moved a little over 200 miles away from them 3 years ago. It's a great way for me to share pictures of our daughters with everyone and to keep up with my family and friends.

September - posted on 07/26/2011

You do have control over who your friends are as well as what you're tagged in since now you can remove tags that you don't want to be tagged in. I had an old flame find me on FB, I told him my husband would not want me talking to him and he respected that. I went home that night and told my husband. I have a very open, honest and trustworthy relationship with my husband that FB could never ruin. Heck he has my password if he’d ever like to check up on me, although he never does, but he can if he wants to. I don’t doubt that FB has ruined relationships but I won’t allow it to ruin mine, that’s all.

Jenn - posted on 07/26/2011

September I agree with you that you control what you put on facebook however you cannot control what everyone else posts on Facebook and that can lead to jumping to conclusions, jealousy, misinterpreting and misunderstandings and hurt feelings. It is so easy for a innocent mix up or just saying hi to an old flame out of curiosity or even simply receiving a request from and old flame to blow everything out of proportion. It also creates paranoia and distrust in couples where that wasn't an issue before because you see lets say an innocent coment from a female coworker of your spouse and because you cannot see her expression or hear her tone it is open to your interpretation and most of the time can be taken the rng way. I just think Facebook leaves a lot of room for people to misinterpret things and amplifies small issues. So while agree with you that you control your facebook, unfortunately you cannot control all of your "friends" and what they post and what pictures they tag you in and this can cause problems. And dont even get me started on the whole "Facebook official" relationship status BS. Many a relationship has suffered because some dude forgot to update his FB status or failed to "friend" his gf quick enough. And once you do update your status whether it be a break up or new relationship then all of your "friends" feel required to jump in with their opinion of said person. Things that start out innocent enough or stem from curiosity like a simple "poke" can quickly escalate into something more (like a whole other kind of "poking" haha :P Really though. As i said before, you aren't likely to get a phonebook, look up an ex and then call him out of the blue yet on Facebook you wouldn't think twice to search for them out of curiosity or whatnot. This is all just how I see it though and I realize that there are people who will disagree.

September - posted on 07/26/2011

I think facebook does whatever you allow it to do. Personally I don't think it causes relationship problems, I don't think a social networking site can cause that type of harm unless you allow it to. I don't put things of FB that I don't want people to know or comment on. I have control over my FB account and what is said on it and so does everyone else that has a FB account. Most of my family lives out of state so it's a great way to keep in touch and share photos. I opened my account after our son was born in 2008 just for that reason. Drama is only a part of your life if you allow it to be imo.

Jenn - posted on 07/26/2011

People always say oh facebook doesn't make you do things you choose to do them and that is true however it does make it a hell of a lot easier and more tempting. I mean, how many people will get out a phonebook, find an ex's number then call them out of the blue years later...Not to many. Yet thousands of people search and friend ex's on facebook years later. It is because there is a certain amount of anonymity to the internet. You cant see them and vice versa, you can essentially hide behind the computer screen. This makes rejection, etc easier to deal with and lowers your inhibitions.

Tiffany - posted on 07/26/2011

My husband doesn't have a facebook page & he always has a smart remark when he sees that Im on my facebook. He says that it's stupid and drama filled! I've recently though about deleting my facebook page because I don't want it to cause problems in my marriage or make him think I'm on there talking to somebody I shouldn't be!

Jenn - posted on 07/26/2011

Oh and check this out: http://www.mademan.com/13-ways-facebook-...