does it get better?

Sidney - posted on 12/28/2009

I was 20 when I had my first kid and now at 25 with four kids I can honestly say that it is going to be awkward with your friends that don't have any kids because while you are out with them and they are talking about the stuff that they did during the week all that you'll have to talk about are diapers and the cutest thing that your little ones did, and they just won't relate to what you are talking about. You can keep them as friends but you are going to need to find some friends that are married or have significant others and kids like you. It is not that you don't like your old friends it is just that they are on different levels then you and you have matured passed them as a neccessity for your kids. I have been down this road and I made lots of friends once I started looking for friends that are moms instead of people my age you will find that you have so much in common with any mom and not a lot with people your own age. Living in such a busy city you should look into mommy and me groups and get out with the kids and meet new moms, alot of these groups also do things like moms night out and things like that where they don't have the kids and it is so much fun. Just google them and you will find lots. Hope that this helps and good luck,

Brittany - posted on 12/28/2009

I know exactly how you feel. I agree with the other moms. You need to take a little time for yourself. Even if it's just an hr. Every mom needs a break sometimes, I know I do. We don't have to lose ourselves just bc we're mothers.

Jamie - posted on 12/28/2009

do u have a ymca were u can bring the kids so they get time and you can join a class and get some mommy time in. Also a great way to meet other moms:) It does get rough staying home all the time.

Sandy - posted on 12/28/2009

Find a baysitter and go out it doesn't hurt to go out either with or with out you husband if he doesn't want to go have him watch the kids... you need your breaks... I know i do and i work too. it doesn't have to be all the time do it one or even twice a month... you both need time together with out the kids sometimes and that is normal.

Emily - posted on 12/28/2009

I agree with alot of the women who answered. You NEED time for yourself. The quote "When mommys happy, everyones happy" is very true. After my pregnancy i got stirr crazy. If the gym is something you are interested in- sometimes they have on site daycare so you can get out for an hour or two and release some energy without having to be to far from the baby. Your hubby should be more than willing to watch the baby while you get some you time also...try mentioning it to him.

Kimberly - posted on 12/28/2009

it's normal for you to feel that way, especially since you're so young. i was 22 when i had my second son, so i completely understand where you're coming from. it's going to take some time, but eventually you'll feel better. Even tho i had no friends with kids, i still needed some "me" time with my old friends. once a month i would tell my husband that he was gonna stay home with the kids for the evening and i went out with my friends. i know you may feel guilty about doing that, but you need to in order to stay sane! you're life wont be like it used to and u cant party and go out like you used to, but you still need to get out and do things and have a girls night. yes we're moms, but we're women first!! one thing i have learned is that our children are only as good as we, as their mothers, are. Before we can successfully take care of someone else, we have to learn how to take care of ourselves first! and thats nothing to feel guilty about, either!!

Briana - posted on 12/28/2009

Wow thats a tough one! I'm a 23 yr old stay at home mom with a 2.5 yr old girl and a 1 yr old boy. Some days I feel trapped in this house and I want to scream. lol. And other days I just LOVE it. :) I think sometimes my hubby thinks I've got it easy. But its not easy when you haven't talked to anyone other than your babies in days and you've been stuck inside your 4 walls and then when you do get out with the kiddies it feels like so much work that it really isn't much of a relief and it doesn't really seem worth it. And it soooo hard watching all of my friends going out and having a blast while I'm sitting at home cleaning up poop and spit up. lol



IT GETS EASIER! :) Find a babysitter! Get out (even if just for an hour or two) with your husband. And if you need some time for yourself ask your husband to watch the kids for you so that you can get out. It is so important to take care of yourself too! This will get easier as your littlest one gets older. And give your husband permission to get out by himself too!



Good luck finding mommies near you!

Shannon - posted on 12/28/2009

You need to get out its good to get away from the kids even if its just for an hour you need to recharge urself. Idk if u r a religious person or not but if u r even a little u should see if theres a MOPS (Mothes Of PreSchoolers) group in your area helps to find moms with the same issues u have and u can find moms with kids your kids age.