Does the second baby have a baby shower?

Samantha - posted on 04/22/2010 ( 20 moms have responded )

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Hello,
I was always under the impression that the baby shower is to either welcome the baby or celebrate the expected arrival of the baby. I'm now pregnant with my second child and my first will be around 20 months when baby is born. My mother and sister in-law said that you only have the shower for the first baby. When I questioned why my sister in-law had one for her last child they said because the age gap was almost 9 years so it was different. I don't mean to sound greedy but I feel like second child is getting ripped off. I'm thinking of waiting until baby is born so we know the sex and then inviting people over to welcome the baby. This way there is still a celebration for baby without having someone throw a shower for me. I'm wondering what everyone thinks about this subject. Would you want a second baby shower? Or do you think the first one covers the second baby? Just curious from other people's experiences.
I posted this in a different community but I also wanted feedback from this one. Thanks!

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Amie - posted on 07/10/2012

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I guess people think since you already had a baby and stuff you should have everything you need for the second one... some people have diaper parties but i think thats for the men, not sure. I didnt really have a baby shower for my son. I was lucky i had girls at work throw a lil party for my baby. My next baby i want to have a happy pregnancy and celebrate it. I also think that everybaby should have a shower, people can always bring custom made gifts with their name on it, thatd be cute.

Rachael - posted on 07/10/2012

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I was curious about this too as I want a shower for my second child ( I didn't really have one for my first) My mother thought it was not proper etiquette. I looked it up on Emily Post's website (the etiquette expert) and she said that if someone wants to throw you a shower it is 100% ok. I have a friend from nursing school who asked if she could throw me a shower. I am combining a baby shower with a big brother party for my son. We decided on a Children's book theme and are registering for books as well as a few baby items we don't have. Even though we are expecting a girl when we had our son we decided to purchase/register for gender neutral baby gear so we do not need anything big. hope this helps!

Kadygurl09 - posted on 07/08/2012

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I just gave birth to my second girl Alice on June 28th on June 23 i had a baby shower for her. I have a two year old daughter Ayrianna . I had a shower for Ayrianna that was a lot larger then the one I just had. I invited the same amout of family and friends and I did with the first one. Only a handful of people showed up to the second one, witch makes me feel like they think the second baby is not just as important ..makes me sad the baby shower was more of a welcome party for Alice. The whole pregnacey was ruff we almost lost her on xmass when i was 12 weeks along due to placenta problumes and a few other times , the thought she may have down syndroume but the tests all came out fine so I wanted to celabrate that she was on her way and to celabrate making it though all that we went though . But still people didnt show even though I said we didnt need anything we just want you to come have cake with us and celabrate this happy time in our lives. It seems to me maybe its just how I am taking it , that most people by the second baby just are not as exited as they are with the first and maybe its bc I had another girl I dont know it just hurts my feelings bc I dont want her to look back and see all the photos of her older sisters baby shower and see how big it was and then look at the few pics I have of her baby shower and wounder why so few ppl showed up. I just want both my girls to know that they are loved just as much as the other and they both are just as important . They deserve that .

Sarah - posted on 04/23/2010

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I think the birth of each child should be celebrated! I don't get why people freak out about this. I mean, we have Birthday parties every year and are expected to get gifts each year. What's so different about asking for baby shower gifts? Especially since babies need sooo many things lol. I'm going to have one for all of my babies :-D who's with me?!

JoAnn - posted on 04/23/2010

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i had a baby shower for my second son...my sister and mother n law threw it for me...the age difference is 5 years apart..so that might make it different ...but i guess they say not to have one for the 2nd or 3rd or more than that cuz your suppose to keep all your stuff from your 1st baby...unless your 2nd is a different gender...but i think it doesnt matter! its still a new baby and should be welcomed into the world just like your first =)

Sarah-Anne - posted on 04/23/2010

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generally you only get a second shower if the age gap is at least 5 or more years between children or if, well, it would involve a different family... ie. different dad. since your children are going to be so close together, it's not like you're gonna need all new baby stuff. that said, if your second child is a different sex or multiples, then maybe a shower wouldn't be out of the question, but only register for things like clothes, "pink or blue" stuff, or a double stroller. Many people, especially of the older generation, may think of you as selfish for wanting them to buy you more stuff when they just did two years ago. If you just want to celebrate the new baby, make sure everyone knows that. don't ask for gifts. maybe just have a fun get together, buy your own onesies and have guests decorate them. or have people come over to see the new baby once he or she is born.

Lynne - posted on 04/23/2010

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I know alot of people who have had baby showers for every child. I however love the idea of having people come over after the baby is born and having a celebration then.

Sarah - posted on 04/23/2010

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I was told that you only have one for the first but since I didn't have one for my 1st born I got a huge one for my second... i agree it does sound like the second is getting ripped off.

[deleted account]

i had one for all my children my first an second child are 2 yrs apart an my second an third are 3 years apart i think its how u family thinks it should be

Adelle - posted on 04/23/2010

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I had a shower for both my kids. Things get so outdated even after only two years. Don't listen to them throw your own if you must, just be more specific on what you need so your not getting things you already have. You'd be surpised how many people will show up and support you. not only for the gifts but just getting all the woman in your life together at once is usually a blast. Have fun!!

La - posted on 04/23/2010

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My first daughter will only be 17months when my second daughter is born so I'm planning on waiting til the new baby is about 1-2 months old then throwing a WELCOME party. I've heard of people throwing diaper parties for subsequent children...that would be nice if everyone brought a pack of diapers or something like a savings bond for the new baby. Since I'm having another girl I don't need much other than diapers...I could really use a double stroller though.

[deleted account]

we had a small one and called it a "baby sprinkle" you can find all sorts of stuff online for a baby sprinkle

Kimberly - posted on 04/22/2010

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If someone wants to throw you a second shower (i've heard it's called a "sprinkle" ;) that's up to them...I've never heard of someone throwing themselves a shower???? Those that are close to you will bring you gifts after your second baby is born, if that's what you're worried about...as far as if it's fair to the second baby to not get a shower--i don't think the baby will know! The shower is more for the parents so they don't have to buy so much. Luckily, many things can be re-used from the first shower. As far as having people over after the baby is born, to welcome it, that is different than a shower--no gifts necessary!

Heather - posted on 04/22/2010

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I was told by my husbands grandma that I wasn't allowed to have a second baby shower. Our first was a boy and second was a girl so I didn't see why not. I had just a small one because we didn't really have much for a girl after having had a boy. When my husbands cousin was expecting his second which was also a girl the grandma was all for having another shower for them. I say if you want one have one.

Brandy - posted on 04/22/2010

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my mom told me the same thing, about it only being for the first child, so my 2nd didnt get one....my 1st had TWO!! everything was a blow out for my 1st son i took sooo many pictures with my 1st i have half as many of my 2nd my first had a HUUUUUUUUGE birthday party on his 1st birthday my 2nd had a small get together at home, my first gets spoiled by everyone i was so mad because my 1st got more presents on my 2nd son's birthday then the the birthday boy! granted everything they have in stores for a child my 2nd sons age he already has but still.....kinda messed up........i feel bad i mean he gets just as much love and attention from home but he doesnt get the same treatment from other ppl i mean they all love him the same but my oldest gets more attnetion and gifts from outsiders (ppl outside the family)

Jessica - posted on 04/22/2010

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I had a baby shower for my first daughter and had a lot of stuff she didnt use, so when i found out i was pregnant with my second i wanted another baby shower but didnt get it because she came the week my family was going to throw me a shower for her....I just got a welcome home shower kinda thing.

Sara - posted on 04/22/2010

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Traditionally you are supposed to only have one for the first. It's mostly to help the new mother with advice and things she will need for the baby. It started out that only women that had already had children came to the shower to tell stories and give you things they feel are most necessary. After you have your first you should already have everything you need (wisdom and things) for anymore children. A welcome baby celebration is different, and I think totally appropriate! It's a new life and it should be celebrated.

Patricia - posted on 04/22/2010

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I've always wondered about this too. Maybe one reason why a lot of moms only get a shower for the 1st baby is because they end up keeping the stuff from the 1st baby and using it for the 2nd so they don't need as much. I have heard of people having a shower for the 2nd if the baby is a different sex than the first because I'm sure most moms don't want to dress a baby boy in all pink. haha. Or if you have a 2nd shower but the baby is the same sex as the first, you could have a Diaper Shower where on the invite you encourage folks to bring just diapers and/or wipes. Anything helps and I agree, the 2nd baby does kind of get ripped off in a way it seems. The idea you suggested sounds like a good one.

Jytte-Marie - posted on 04/22/2010

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my mom had 4 kids and a shower for each one.
The first is always the bigger one because it's all new and the need for things can be greater.
I was also the only girl in the family, so when the boys came along they didn't need pink towels/high chairs/ bed sets etc...

it also depends on if you're the kind of person who likes to find out what you're having, you get a bigger second shower for boy or girl items, if your first wasn't a girl or boy.

I would hope to have a small one when my second comes along.. because depending on when that is, some things you can't use for longer than 5 years (car seats for example)

[deleted account]

im thinking of having a small shower for my second, as my first will only be 16 months when the second is born. i wasnt really into the shower with my first, but i still think that you should get a shower (or something similar) for every baby. i agree it wouldnt be fair. and who cares if you have your second 10 years or 10 months after your first? its still a new baby, and you should get to celebrate!

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