dont know what else to do!! touchy subject!

Danielle - posted on 03/02/2010

First off I want to thank every one for thier help! Since this has happened again I have sat her down and talked to her on her level about what happened, why it was wrong, and asked her if this has ever happened before or at school or any where else, she said it never has just the one time with her cousin and now! I told her no matter what she can tell me any thing and I wont be mad at her and she seemed to understand pretty well. I also explained that when it comes to our body parts and other people asking to see them or touch them that if she tells me it is not tatel taling! Hopefully this sticks and I will never have to deal with this again. As for the little boy, im a mom so of course im going to believe my daughter over him especially bc of the way he had some of his clothes already off. so yes I feel he was not truthful with his mom, but im not going to point fingers about how it started, but the situation will be monitered to keep it from happening again! so again I thank each and every one of you! by the way I LOVE THIS SITE!!

Johanna - posted on 03/01/2010

This is a very touchy subject. I also agree with some of these ladies. This may just be your daughter exploring and being curious. But then again dont rule out the posibility of it being anything else. My daughter is five. I am pretty open about explaining to her what her body parts are, what they are called and what they are used for. She is always with my 6 yr old nephew, and the first time that she noticed that his body parts where different from hers, I sat both of them down and explained to them the differences. I believed that this conversation eliminated a lot of running around that she may have done to figure this out on her own. She is very curious, but I have always tried to make it clear that if anyone ever touches her or talks to her about her privates she should always tell me.
So far, it's worked. She even tells me things that her little friends say to eachother. And trust me from what she has told me the topic of conversations that these 5yr olds have is suprising.

Stella - posted on 03/01/2010

I agree with you Nikki. It is a terrible thing to think about when it comes to our own children, but you cant be too careful these days. I would definately sit your daughter down and ask her if this has happened with anyone else (make sure to tell her that no matter what she says, you will always love and protect her). I would also consider taking her out of the VPK programme. It might sound a bit drastic, but at the end of the day, if you cannot trust her and this boy to be around each other, then the best way of ensuring that they are not around each other is to take her out of the programme and also ban her from playing with this boy in the street or anywhere else.

Tina - posted on 03/01/2010

Hey Danielle,

It's really hard to say, I personally have never had to deal with a situation like this, but it would be good to get answers on this topic in case my 5 year old daughter encounters it over the next couple of years. Like Nikki said, it may be innocent, and we'll hope it is. But I also agree you should take sexual abuse into account. Also...is there a possibility that your friend's son may have told a little lie to get out of trouble? It is a very touchy situation, and I really hope you find the answer. Good luck gurl!



~Tina~

Niki - posted on 03/01/2010

it might just be completly innocent and something she'll grow out of, but (an i hate to bring this up) i'd be looking very carefully at all the people in her life, especially anyone that babysits her or stays at your house and wondering about sexual abuse - sepecially if she has any anger issues. its not something any of us like to think about, but it actually happen a lot more than people think. Like i said - it might just be completly innocent, but its well worth ruleing out the possibility.