EMotional breakdown, Please Help!!

Lynn - posted on 11/29/2008

Its hard, but you are not alone. This month has been the worst for us financially, with all the rough unexpected bills to pay ie: parking tickets.. and then my pregnant brain that forgot to pay a minor bill last month only costed me another 20 dollars. Im due again in 10wks and I stay at home with our 15 month old. My husband works a pretty crappy job and he is graduating from college in two weeks. So much going on. This month was so full of its ups and downs. The first paycheck I paid the bills and we had no money left over, the 2nd check I paid the bills and then realized we didnt have enough to pay rent! I started to stress bigtime! But its so crazy how things worked out. My husband just turned 24 and his grandparents still send him birthday money.. and ohmygoodness was that a big blessing in disguise! We were able to pay everything up and even has some money left over. Its so hard to not stress about money still. Ive always been a big worrywart. What helped was that my husband realized how stressed out I was getting and he rubbed my back and told me everything would be alright- and this was before the b-day blessing $. And it did turn out alright. I just hope we can make it through next month... Hopefully we dont get anymore 50$ parking tickets. Ugh. Anyway. You eventually probably should break down in front of the other adults in the house so they see and hear that you are stressing out and then they could help a little more.. crying always works for me! Lol. Im pregnant, I can cry when I want to;) Best wishes.

Shannon - posted on 11/29/2008

Wow, I Can sort of understand where you are coming from. It seems that we are always having some sort of money problems as well. Its tough trying to make ends meet with a family to be supporting. I have a 14month old daughter, and a 3 year old stepdaughter and a 4 year old stepson. I know what you mean about when something goes wrong it seems that the finger is always pointed at you, and if not for you doing everything around the house nothing would ever get done (and that would be one more thing for ppl to point the finger at you about, right). The stress of making a household run and taking care of the people it can be very overwhelming at times, to say the least.

I can understand trying to avoid confrontation, I think far to many of us allow things to hurts us for fear that opening our mouth will hurt someone else. Even so, by avoiding it and not leting people know how much it bothers you to have these things happen, nobody will ever know how you really feel. If people do not know that what they are doing affects us in such a way, how can we ever expect things to be different?

What I would suggest to you is write a note/letter. When we take the time to sit down and put our thoughts into words on paper rather than a conversation, I find that you have the time to piece together your thoughts. The chance to say the things that really matter, the time to think of a way to say them so that others can understand where we are coming from. Make a point of letting who you are writing the note to know that you are not wanting to start an argument, you are not trying to point fingers, but simply need to get it out. There is a chance that the others in your house dont even notice how much of what they say or do really affects you.

Being a highrisk pregnancy, you need you down time, I know all to well how hard that can be to come by with little kids runinng around! Just do what you can, and when you can't do it, DONT STRESS! You are only going to be pregnant for so much longer. Having some dirty dishes, the floor needing to be cleaned, the bathrrom needing to be scubbed, ect, are all things that can wait. Once you have this baby (and they grow a bit) You will have the time (some days) to stay on top of these things. Right now the only things you need to stay on top of is the kids, and making sure that you are doing what you can for your baby to grow and be healthy. In fact, you should find some snacks, juice boxes, and the kids favorite movie, set them up, and go have a nice relaxing tub right now! You deserve it.

I hope things start to get a little easier for you, best of luck.

Josie - posted on 11/29/2008

Oh you poor thing - what an shocking time you are having!! I guess your husband is also feeling the stress of it all - this is a terrible time financial for everyone, especially young families...

I don't have an advice other than, keep doing what you are doing, looking after two little ones is a great achievement, and take care of yourself. Talk to your husband, let him know how you feel. Perhaps he can talk to the other adults for you/with you, so you don't have to be the one giving all the instructions. You own the house so I think you have the right to tell those who live in it to shape up and start pulling their weight.

Your priority is you, your lil one on the way and your children...In my view, while rental properties are expensive and hard to come by, the other adults in your house are lucky to have you and should show some more appreciation!!



Good luck with it all!