feel inadequate and always tired?

Shelley - posted on 12/15/2009

Hi I am a mum of 3 and I have had this with all 3 it is like one day they just decide to change the way they do everything, you just get used to their routine when all of a sudden they decide that they dont want that routine anymore. With my firast child i thought it must have been me and that I was doing something wrong, and as crazy as it sounds I even though that maybe he was acting like that because he didn't like me, you get all kinds of mad thoughts going through your head when you have a screaming child in your arms lol, but I must admit that once I got my head around the fact that I was not to blame for my child being groggy and crying it made it a whole lot easier to try and work out what I could do to help the situation. I agree with the previous lady when she said that you have to leave them to cry for a while and this is what I did only slightly different I would sit on the top step so that the baby could not see me and while they were crying I would go in every 10 mins or so just to reasure them that I had not left them I was still there but I was not going to interact with them.

Basically as daft as it sounds I think sometimes it can be worse to just leave them for a long period of time with out them seeing you, as this can be scary in itself for them thinking that you have just gone. Obviously when I say I went into the room I only did this if they were still crying at a extremely agitated rate, and as I said it was not to interact with them at all it was purely for them to see that I had not left them, and that I was not far away if they needed me, but I would not pick them up just because they cried. I actually saw this method on discovery home and health, I don't know if tyou have this channel but I have over the years picked up a lot of helpful advice and it has helped me conquer alot of seemingly impossible moments in my babies development.

But the one thing you should not donis blame yourself, children do change as they grow and alot of it is down to testing boundaries even from a young age, a child is trying to work out where they stand in the scheme of things, what is expected of them etc, sounds strange but you would be surprised what babies are actually aware of lol.

I hope i havent gone on too much as i do have a tendency to waffle lol, and I hope that my advice works for you.

Shelley :)

Vicki - posted on 12/14/2009

Oh yeah I have been there. I still cry when my boys are really upset. Sometimes if feels like that's all I can do. Alot of people have told me different things like, let them cry it out, or rock them back and forth until they fall asleep, put them in the car and drive around a little bit, and the funniest one I heard was give them red onion juice (yuck). The thing I found best for my boys is to let them cry it out. I only let them cry for about one hour and if they are still really upset - not calming down, then I go and get them. It was really hard (still hard at times) to hear them cry but you need rest too. We are no good to our kids if we can not function right :). I wish you the best of luck and hope to hear how it goes. Have a good night!