Feeling Guilty about wanting another baby

Iysha - posted on 11/27/2010 ( 6 moms have responded )

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We are just getting into a position where we are going to be financially okay....We moved across the U.S. for my fiance's job and my daughter is 17 months. We have been here in a new state for 3 months now and I want to have another baby...in like a year or so. We are going to stay in this state for 3-5 years until my fiance gets all his training and work experience so that when we do move back, he will have a shot at finding a job in the area we want to settle in back in our home state.

I feel real guilty about getting pregnant and having a baby so far away from my family. Like my mom will be dissapointed about not being with me to help out like she did with my daughter. She wont be around for my daughter's birth or anything. To top it off, my family thought I was too young to have a baby, and a second would not make too many of them happy for me...they'd be more like, "why is she having kids? she should be finishing school." I'm 22 by the way.

Has anyone had a baby when they were living real far away from family? How did you and the rest of the family feel about it? Is it selfish of me to just go ahead and do it or would it be right? Should I just wait until we're almost ready to move again? I am really torn between having a baby soon or later...

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6 Comments

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Heather - posted on 11/28/2010

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You can't plan your family based on what other people think. It's one thing to put off having a first baby, but once you have one all bets are off. If you want your daughter to have a sibling that is closer in age to her, do it! It's not about whether or not it is selfish, it is about what is better for your family.

Stifler's - posted on 11/28/2010

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Just have another one. Have them close and then go back to uni or whatever. I live 600km from my family. I'm pregnant with my second baby and my first is only 9 months. It's really no one's business, we're grown ups we don't need to live in our parent's pocket! My mum and dad still work so we wouldn't see them that much if we lived down there, so it's not a big deal. I had a friend and my husband at the birth and my parents came up the day we came home from the hospital and the same thing will happen next birth.

Sarh - posted on 11/28/2010

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You should not feel guilty for wanting another baby away form your family. You may only be 22yo, but you are an adult! It is YOUR decision when you want another baby. Maybe your mother could fly out by you guys for the delivery of your next baby and maybe spend the first week or so w/you guys. Not sure if that is do able for your mother.

Christina - posted on 11/27/2010

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Having a child is a very personal choice, and it is up to the parents to decide. You can't let how others feel dictate when you continue your family because you will never be able to satisfy everyone. I was pregnant with my 4th by 22yrs old and when people complained to me, I told them to suck it, they weren't paying for my kids so shut up.

Lacye - posted on 11/27/2010

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No. It is not selfish of you to want another child. You want a family to love and cherish. Why do you think they wouldn't be happy for you? Children are a blessing and pregnancy is such a wonderful part of a woman's life. I think they would be happy for you.

Good Day! - posted on 11/27/2010

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This is really only a decision YOU and your fiance can make. However, if you can afford it, if you are ready emotionally and physically, then go for it. You are responsible for the decisions you make for your family, and if you feel it's best to have a second child at this time you shouldn't feel guilty.