Feeling Old at 23?

Amanda - posted on 06/06/2010 ( 100 moms have responded )

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Anyone feeling like there life has just passed by and your living your life like a blurr?
I do!! Im 23 and I feel really old... My daughter is 16months (but going on 21!) and I feel like my partner and I dont really have a social life. We only have the one child but everything has either been compromised, on hold or our favourite - cant really be bothered!

Any tips to bring the young back??

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Samara - posted on 06/06/2010

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Get your social life back, have "mommy" night at least once a month if not more. Do something for ur selfat least once a week, I go get a pedicure once every two weeks, its only like 30-45 minutes away but the difference it makes is awesome. hope this helps

Jacqueline - posted on 06/10/2010

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I know how you feel. Im only 21 have a 20 month old and one due in October. I have absolutely NO social life, my boyfriend is either working or gaming (his stress reliever). I cant complain about not do ANYTHING because he brings home the bacon. The only time interact with adults is once a week AT WORK!!! Because I can only work one day a week cuz there is no hours. So when you figure it out lemme know! Because I dont wanna be a loser mom lol!

April - posted on 06/10/2010

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Find u a babysitter, going aleast 2 time out of the month, my babysitter is my mom I have 2 girls that r 15 months their age r 3 & 4 they can drive some1 crazy

Nicole - posted on 06/10/2010

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I totally know how you feel. I will be 22 in November, I have no social life whatsoever and I feel like I'm 80 years old. I also only have one child - an 18 month old little boy. I don't talk have any adult conversation whatsoever, except with my mother (who I only see once a month, because my son can't stand the 2 hour busride)
I look around and see people my age hanging out at night-time and having all sorts of fun.. and I get pretty nostalgic about the young days.. then I remember, I'm STILL young, I just don't feel it lol

I guess my tip would be to really just take some time to do something for youself - whether that be pampering yourself somehow or going out one night to a concert.
Little things like that can really boost your happiness, in my opinion. I managed to take my little brother to a hockey game, and I was so ecstatic just to spend some time being 21.

Good luck :)

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i feel it too, im 25 have a 10 month old little boy, my husband goes out every thursday night wid the boys, then has possiably either a drinking night or goes out cruzin with the boys on weekend he is also very busy doing other things he enjoys during the day but i am with our son 24/7, i dont really trust anyone else with my son yet so i dont do much yes i do go to playgroup 2 a week and have a day at crazy maze once a week as well. but i dont have my own time my husband seems to think that i have fun all the time. my husband also says that im no fun anymore, but i feel that once having a child u have more responsibilities, well thats how i feel anyway, but if you can find out let me know.

Dawn - posted on 09/18/2010

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go on a vacation! the whole once a week thing is nice, but doesn't bring back your "youth" i'm 23 and i have a 4 yr old and a 4 month old. my husband and i go on a trip at least once a year and try for 2 a year. we've been to san francisco, san diego, lake tahoe, las vegas, solvang, san simeon. go without the kids and pretend you've just started dating. bring all the romance and spice back and be spontaneous. do the things you can't do with kids ;)

Sarh - posted on 09/18/2010

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Shana, I wish I could, daddy doesn't want me going out (I just turned 21). Some what understandable as baby is only 3 months old, but he sleeps through the night. Amanda, if daddy will watch your little one go for it!!

Shana - posted on 09/18/2010

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Go out!!!! Let daddy stay home with the baby sometimes and you go out with your girls to a nice spot for happy hour or just a nice club spot. And you and your husband set aside 'date night', I know it sounds cliched but it works, go out to the movies and dinner or an amusement park if you can get grandma to take care of the little one. My husband and I 26 and 29 we have a 7 year old daughter and last week we had so much fun being in the house alone because my daughter spent the whole day with my sister!!! We played around like old times, watched movies and ordered in. It was so much fun, you're still so young so go out and enjoy yourself at least once a week! Best wishes to you :)

Sarh - posted on 09/17/2010

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I had my daughter at 16, she is now 4.5yrs old, I just turned 21! And I have a 14 wk old son. I feel OLD!!! Especially now that my little girl has started school and looking back and seeing how much she has grown etc. I feel like I'm like 30!

Donna - posted on 09/17/2010

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dont feel bad honey im 26 and have 5 yr old twins and a 10 month old. My husband has become my best friend and the only social life I have is with the people I take care of (I'm a home health aide). All the people I used to talk to have just moved on and so have I. It gets easier as they get older. Have you thought about having grandma watch yur baby on a friday night while you and yur hubby go out to dinner and maybe even see a movie, or go out dancing or something

Lauren - posted on 08/01/2010

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I feel the same way! I feel like I have no more social life anymore and all my friends are just off having fun because they don't have kids. I really find it helpful to just get a babysitter and go out for one night with friends, it really helps you feel normal and young again!

Melody - posted on 07/31/2010

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Nice to hear i'm not alone, I had my son at 22 (I am 24 now) and feel ancient!!! Lets all take ourselves somewhere relaxing for the day and maybe we will feel better, my body is so tired and I only have one even though I really want another lol

Monica - posted on 06/12/2010

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I know what you mean, im 22 and have a 5 year old, i feel like an old woman sometimes, and date night is impossible with my love to stay at home husband.

Lacey - posted on 06/12/2010

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I would suggest doing you and daddy time at least once a week! If you really love this man then it will work out for he best! Sending you and your family the best!

Anais - posted on 06/12/2010

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Haha! I'm 23 and I've been feeling that way. I have a 15 month old girl and a boy on the way in July. Me and hubby never had much of a social life in the first place, so its not as bad but I still get bored and lonely. Wish I had some Mommy time. Trying to get some extra money together so I can. -.-

Amy - posted on 06/12/2010

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Date nights are sooo important! This is hard for me as a working mom because I don't want to take my son to the babysitters any more than I already do. But you can just wait til they go to bed and then you're really not missing much! Oddly we didn't goto the bar before we had the baby, but a date night at a comedy club or watching friends kareoke makes me feel young again!

Cassandra - posted on 06/12/2010

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I am 20 and I have little boy. I feel old sometimes because all my friends get to go out and have fun and I get stuck at home. I relize my son is so worth it but I too need a break. I just started putting him in daycare one day out of the week and I do things for me like tanning and working out and movies or just hang out with out having to worrie about him. It reall helps me. Good Luck!

Jennifer - posted on 06/12/2010

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Yea i agree with you there i'm 22 going on 23 and ther are days when i feel really old too one thing i could say is try to get a babysitter and take the night off with your man do something for yourselves. or after the baby goes to sleep you may feel tired but take a little time out to cuddle and try to watch a movie together if you fall asleep o well atleast you got some alone time. You can always have fun with the baby too take her to the park or if you know any other couples with children around the same age try to make a play date you and your spouse can socialize while the kids play

Jessica - posted on 06/12/2010

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Get your little one on a good schedule. I rolled my eyes the first thousand times that I heard this. But I'm 23 and pretty much raising my son alone and I was feeling pretty overwhelmed on days when my little man didn't want to nap or go to sleep. Now we are a pretty tight schedule and he gets his nap and goes to bed at eight and it gives me just enough Mommy time to keep myself mentally healthy. You're only as old as you feel.

Sherrie - posted on 06/12/2010

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i am 22 years old and having baby. i do feel old i know how you feel i mean i have given up everything for my partner and now cuz i am having a baby i feel like i am giving up my social life and that. my answer is to have a girls night out let the man take care child for one night let hair down enjoy your self. or have a family member look after the child and go out with your partner for the night

Penny - posted on 06/12/2010

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find something that you and your partner are intersted in, get a baby siter for a few hours and go do it. you be suprised what a littel break can do. my husband and i have 3 kids ranging from 6 to 18 months and we recently felt like that so we got grandmar to baby sit for a night and we went out and stayed in a hotel and had some us time and it makes you feel so much better and i am 29

Jasmine - posted on 06/12/2010

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I know exactly what you mean. I am 23 yrs OLD... I've been married since I was 16, had my first baby at 18 and second at 19. They are now 4 and 5. I had to "grow up" some what when I got married but it was definitely more real when I had my kids. It's still hard now after almost 7 yrs of marriage, and my "babies" not really babies anymore. Especially with my family living in TX and me living in IA. I dont have anyone to watch my kids. Not anyone I trust anyway.
But we do what we can... put the kids to bed early, put in a movie or take them to the park. Anything to have them busy so we can be alone for a moment. It can be hard but you have to do what you can so you do something for yourself.

Michelle - posted on 06/11/2010

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I know how you feel. My hubby and i are 24. We bought a house at 18, married at 21 1st daughter born 22 and 2nd when we were 24. We dont have much of a social life either as our friends dont have kids so they go out and do what they like. We are trying to get back to seeing our friends more so when the kids grow up and leave we will still have friends. LOL. I feel old bcoz i feel tired alot and "cant be borthered" too. We both need to make time for ourselves as being a mum is a full time job and we need to get away. Lets both make a promise to do it.

Zara - posted on 06/11/2010

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Regardless of the age we are always going to feel old!! Im also 23years with a 3year old and find i dont have 'Me" time or "fun" time anymore. i fixed that by setting time aside to do things like coffee with the gurls e.t.c. Sometimes you just gotta go out there and face the world!! Im sure you have found something to do to stop you feeling old!! Good luck !!

Jenna - posted on 06/11/2010

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I really felt that way when I first moved to a new city with my husband. I am 26 and have a 3yr old son and another baby on the way. I was just really lonely wehn I feirst moved because I had NO girl friends close by at all. I decided to go back to school for nursing, and met some great women that live close to me and have children. Soon the feeling of being "old" faded. I just feel happy with where we are in our lives. We have a happy, healthy son, and a Happy, healthy marriage, so thta is what matters to me now. I do love getting out of the house the few days a week for my classes. And my hubby coaches 2 different sports, and plays on 2 softball teams for the summer, the occasional night out with friends for him too. I really think its important to try and make time to just go grab a coffee, or join a book club or something to do without your child, even a gym that has a childcare place can be helpful. Embrace it! Better to feel a little "old" and be a great Mommy, than to be out at the bar every night while baby is at home and think nothing of it ; )

Lindsey - posted on 06/11/2010

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totally feel you on that one. My husband is a Marine and always gone, we live around no family that can watch my son, so yes, i feel old and i have no social life any more. If i do get a baby sitter for something, I am so worn out that I would rather go home and get a few minutes alone and in the quiet rather than go out. pitiful i know haha.

Leoney - posted on 06/11/2010

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I'm 27 and I also feel ancient. lol
Find a hobby and have that time for yourself, or find something you and your partner enjoy doing together.

Michelle - posted on 06/11/2010

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omg i feel the same way n im only 21 n i have a 3 yr old daughter n a month an a half son

Laura - posted on 06/11/2010

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Have a ME day! I'm 23 as well, my hubby's 27. Every once in a while, on weekends mostly which is when he's home all day, he'll take our daughter (soon to be 6 months) for the day and I go get my nails done or window shopping, visiting friends..whatever. It really helps to just clear your mind. Also, always try to spend time together as a couple. We try to go to the movies at least twice a month, have dinner just us, even sneak in a few showers together. It's really great to be just the two of us for some time, even though you always end up missing the baby lol. And don't worry, you're not the only one feeling that way!

Erin - posted on 06/11/2010

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The Friday night that my husband and I get paid, we have set aside as date night. Our son goes to his Auntie's and we go out and enjoy each other again. You have to stay happy as a person and as a couple to be a good parent. Take that time for yourself, don't lose who you are!

Meg - posted on 06/11/2010

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we were really trying for date nights once a month, but it gets so expensive with sitters and going out. now that he is 18 months, we just strive to put him to bed early once a week and have dinner by ourselves on the porch or watch a movie while he is in bed. anything to get a little adult alone time!

Ashley - posted on 06/11/2010

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I just take my daughter with me everywhere. If it's a place not suitable for children..then it's not suitable for me either. The only reason lately that I feel trapt is because my car recently broke down and needs so much repair work that I can't afford to get it fixed. I had find a ride to get to my last days of my college finals this week and I carpool to work anyways. Without my car.....NOW I'm going insane. At least before we could go to the mall and I could walk my daughter in the stroller while I looked around...now, I'm just stuck and we nothing close by to walk to either. Also...I find motherhood awesome..something else I finding rather trapping is marriage actually. It's been way easier for me to be a mother than it has for me to be a wife I feel anyways..

Rosita - posted on 06/11/2010

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i have an 11 week old and i feel like that too, but my fiance & i have said that we promise to each other to take time out for ourselves individually & together. we're starting now by at least going out with the baby to museums or out to eat so that we can get out of the house. she's beginning to sleep more at night & we both just started working again so as soon as we get enough money, mommy's going out and either daddy can watch her, we'll drop her off with grandma or we'll get a babysitter, because i'm only 23 and this is the prime of our lives. just because we became parents doesn't mean we have to stop living our lives too. we just have to stop and remember that sometimes

Susan - posted on 06/11/2010

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i can't afford to go out Im a single mommy but at least once a week when she is napping take a nice long bubble bath or read a book forget the cleaning it will wait...

Alyssa - posted on 06/11/2010

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get out of the house!! i put my husband on daddy duty twice a week and i go tanning... i love it, it's relaxing and it gets me out of the house for an hour or so just so i can have some quiet and don't have to worry about my kids. For the both of you i think you should set aside at least two days a month and find a babysitter. go out for dinner see a movie or just go visit some friends it'll give you a little down time and let you enjoy eachothers company without the baby

Crystal - posted on 06/11/2010

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If you have a friends with children I recommend what a friend of mine and I are doing. We have a date night with or boyfriends every other week. in doing that I take her son one week, she takes my boys the following week

Katie - posted on 06/11/2010

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hey amanda i can join u on that im 23 and my lil fella is 17months,i never go out and wen i do im called cause he wont settle,and even the time i have a night babysitter im too tired to stay out,it gets easier as they grow,

being a mammy is a full time job
x

Emma - posted on 06/11/2010

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babysitter, sum1 u cn trust! i have 3 children twin girls 6 mnths and a 3year old! tottaly knw where ya coming frm! me and my partner work it were once a week we each go out in evenin while the other is minding kids with a friend and do what we want, pub, cinema etc and once a month may be we go out together! you soo need it and its always something to look forward to a bit of me time!

Sherry - posted on 06/11/2010

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Its crazy, actually going and reading some responces.... you shouldn't feel like you have to be "stuck" being a mother, and get used to not having fun as an adult. Like I said, I'm 23 and have a 5 year old and a 4 year old.... I feel old when I look at them and think of the fact that my 5 yr old was 1 month old when I graduated HS.... but other than that, I feel young. I work 2 jobs during the week and take care of my family and home all week... but when I get that night off, I relax. If I dont go out with my friends and my fiance, my fiance and I stay in and have loud sex whereever we fall- all night long, and we can sleep in the next day. You really have to find a way to have time away from the kids. Some would disagree, but me and my fiance have a great relationship, great sex, and my kids are happy. They get to spend time with their grandparents and away from eachother *because God knows, they fight all day everyday!*. I call and see how they are and I know they are having a great time and that they are safe... what more could you ask for?! So yea, take that time away... your relationship will love it, as well as your daughter!

Beckz - posted on 06/11/2010

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am 22 and feel old i have 3 kids 5 an half 2 and 10 months and due my 4 th next month i think its just because we have had to grow up a bit faster than other 20 odd year olds with being no kids

Sherry - posted on 06/11/2010

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If there are Grandparents of either yours or babies daddy, you should talk to them about taking your daughter on a weekend sometime. Like schedule for a grandparent or another family member to spend quality time with your daughter and at teh same time, take that evening to spend time with friends and/or your hubby. I have 2 daughters, and I'm 23... its REALLY hard to not feel old concidering I was 17 when I got prego with my first... mine and my fiances parents will split up weekends and alternate quality time with them... so to our luck, we usually get 2 days to go out with friends or spend 1 on 1 time together. It's really nice and deffinately helps to keep you feeling as young as you really are! Even just staying in and cuddling on the couch without having to worry about the babies is a vacation in itself... SLEEP IN TIME! YAY! lol.

Aimee - posted on 06/10/2010

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I'm nineteen, and pregnant with my first, and I feel old.
I know most people would say because of the fact that I'm going to be a "young" mother thats why I feel so old, but I disagree like 100%

That maybe part of the reason, but the reason is when you are a mother, you feel old, your life isn't like it use to be, and everyone that is young, like your friends are going out and having fun, while you are at home, or cant do all the things they do. Then comes a time where they stop asking to hang out with you.. and that makes you feel even more old, not having all your girly friends with you. I also agree with the relationship part, everything just kinda falls apart, not totally but feels like everything is just hollow.

I have no clue how to get the "young" back, because honestly.. im stuck too. All I can say, is meet more people, like mothers and hang with them, and they can be pretty awesome, specially when you have a lot in common with them. Oh and if that doesn't help
Then usually I do things, like find something I could do thats good, like I'm trying to get my beginners for like driving.. so im studying.. and that came out of know where, but hey it waists time :)

Karen - posted on 06/10/2010

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I guess its safe to say that once you have a family you kind of lose yourself and forget who you are. I have a 3 year old 22month old and a 3 1/2 month old. Im a stay at home mom. I have no friends who have kids. I do have my parents and my inlaws around however it would be nice to have a girlfriend who has kids who knows what Im going through. Anyone live on the central coast? (california)

Perena - posted on 06/10/2010

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I had ma 1st & only beautifull daughter 6 days before I turned 22..At the start I felt old, but then thought, I'm a young mum I shud just stop thinking about how old I am & just live the life that I have & just be myself. As for myself I think young mums are very active & not old school ; ) I'm 22 nw ma daughter is 4 mnths, & we just cruiz around and have fun like there's no 2morrow ; )

Brittany - posted on 06/10/2010

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YOU HAVE TO MAKE TIME OR U WILL NEVER FIND IT SOMETIMES THERES A PROBLEM WITH A BABYSITTER AT MY HOUSE SO WE JUST TAKE TURNS GOING OUT WITH OUR FRIENDS.......

Vanessa - posted on 06/10/2010

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All I have to say is time waits for no one and when you have kids you need to decide who and what is more deserving of that time....your social life or your chil/children????

Megan - posted on 06/10/2010

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Hi, I'm 21 and have two kids. lol I had my little boy at 19, and my daughter at 20 (this past January). She is a preemie with colic and an umbilical hernia. She requires a lot of extra care, and unfortunately a lot of my family doesn't know how to take care of her! I haven't had a social life since before my son was born. I've been going to school and taking care of my babies. I don't even know how to begin having a life anymore! lol I feel ridiculously old--especially since a lot of my friends have no idea what i'm going through!

Fattima - posted on 06/10/2010

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OMGoodness I feel you, I'm the same age but with more children and yes I feel 200 years old lol

Lkeya - posted on 06/10/2010

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girl all you have to do is get all ur friends who have kids and make it a ladies night even though the kids are around it will still be fun cuz there are other kids around to play with and by the time you drink the kids will alreday be knock outi do it every months maybe twice a months or you can take turn going out like one day out of the week you go out and then he got out another day so dont feel old

Christine - posted on 06/10/2010

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I'm 25, and had my son 2 years ago. I know EXACTLY how you feel. We're finally going on a vacation so things are looking up, best of luck to both of us:0)

Merissa - posted on 06/10/2010

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Omg I know just how you feel!!! I'm 23 and my daughter is 16 months and I'm going crazy lol I feel 43 not 23 and my bf and I can't relate for nothing anymore cause we're so busy :(

Kimberly - posted on 06/10/2010

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I am in the same boat as you. I am 21 and I have absolutely no life. I just turned 21 and I dont feel it. I feel so old. My partner and I never go out and I am home unless I go to the grocery store or go shopping for baby items. we have an 8 month old. We moved here a year ago and I don't know anyone up here, and I don't have a vehicle to go anywhere to meet anyone. I am just home all the time, and I feel so run down and old!!

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