For all those moms who planned to breastfeed but couldn't..

Esther - posted on 04/08/2010

hi i am a mom that breastfed. I had problems with my first. she latched on and ate and got lots of the first thin milk but she wouldnt eat long enough to get the fatty milk and wasnt gaining weight in the first 2 weeks and wasnt pooping right. but i was determined and got through it and kept getting her to eat.i had to keep trying cause she WOULDNT TAKE A BOTTLE OR EAT FORMULA! so it was pain to go through but i had to do it! what i had to do was let out some milk before i fed her. and with my 2nd i was able to feed him until 6 months old. i had a tonciletmy and had to pump and dump for 24 hrs becuase of medications, I couldnt keep up producing milk. i fed him every hour to try to keep up milk supply and it wouldnt regenerate back.i tried pumping but the peump i could afford didnt work right and thats why i couldnt get any milk out. the cheap ones dont suction right like a baby and cause let down. my insurance wouldnt cover it and i couldnt afford 300 for a pump so i had to formula feed which was hard to get use to.I used the enfamil gentleease which is very easy to digest and is just like breast milk. now with my 3rd i have had some problems with getting her to eat consisitantly to keep my milk supply up. but the pump i have with 3rd one is wonderful i would suggest it to anyone. the medela advance travel pump. it works great and i am able to kep a good supply. the cheap ones in the store at walmart dont work for everyone and dont suction like a real baby so you dont get as much out and it didnt work with my 2nd or 1st baby.the medela pump suctions like a baby it has small suction at first for 2 min to cause let down and the it sucks harder differently to have the milk come out. it is very easy to take places. a lot of insurances over these now.I admire all of you for trying to breastfeed. It takes lots of patients from the mom, the baby and the siblings too! just a tip to all of you the more you feed the baby the more your milk will come in. i had to wake all my babies every 2 hrs to eat for the first 3 days to get it to come in. all babys are suppose to lose up to 10% of body weight on 72 hrs and dont expect them to gain weight back until 2 weeks.

Kyla - posted on 04/08/2010

Nicole, thank you for your post. I still wish I had been able to do more. But with my next child I will do everything in my power to breastfeed. I think being a first time mother and having such a hard time with delivery and recovery caught a lot of us off guard. In my personal situation I will be having a scheduled c section next time around and this time I will know what to expect and be prepared for it before hand.

Nicole - posted on 04/08/2010

And Tiffany, thank you for the sentiment on behalf of breastfeeding, but the way you worded your comment is not helpful. Yes, babies are born to breastfeed. Yes, breastfeeding is best. Yes, if a mother runs into a common breastfeeding problem, gets it corrected and sticks it out just a little longer, she CAN move on from the problem and continue to breastfeed. BUT, here is where we run into the problem. I have seen in my years of helping breastfeeding mothers, that even a common LITTLE problem can become very HUGE when misinformation or lack of good support interfere. It is so sad. Breastfeeding should NOT be difficult and it should NOT be painful, but for too long it has been made that way and who would want to continue to breastfeed when it hurts so bad or when a mother is sure that she is starving her baby or she thinks she is transferring tainted milk from the her medications. Now, yes, all of these things can be fixed or the mother can be reassured that she is not harming her baby, but who is going to do this??? That is the problem, NOT that moms "just give up".

Kyla - posted on 04/08/2010

I didn't really know much about breastfeeding but then my daughter in laws spoke to me about it and i decided that was what i wanted to do. When my daughter was first born I got her attached straight away on my own but after that she refused to take to it. I became very saw and found it hard to breastfeed. i asked the midwives to check that i was doing it correctly and they said that i was. When i got home from hospital my LO kept screaming but i was too sore to feed her. I tried a breast pump but that was too sore and i tried nipple shields but my LO still wouldnt take it. I eventually gave up and went and got some formula milk and she drunk it really well. I felt that my partners family may look down at me but they were all understanding.

Kristen - posted on 04/08/2010

I had always planned on breastfeeding my baby, which is my first child. She was also born with low blood sugar, so they had me breastfeed right away then follow it with a bottle. She ended up throwing up most of the formula so breastmilk seemed to definately be the right answer. I tried pumping once in the hospital, but nothing came. They made it sound like it wasn't a big deal because sometimes milk doesn't come in for a few days. After we went home it all seemed to be going well, but then she started wanting to feed almost all night long. Her feedings needed to be closer and closer together and when I'd pump the most I ever got was 2 ounces total from both breasts. I never got that "full feeling" you're supposed to get when it's time to feed again and when I ultimately gave up after a little over a month, I just stopped and that was it. Many of my family members, who were I'm sure trying to be encouraging, actually made me feel like I wasn't trying hard enough. I know that I did what I could, but my milk supply was just never enough to last beyond a couple of weeks. No matter what anyone tells you, the more you feed or pump, does not always encourage you body to produce more milk. It sure didn't for me.

Nicole - posted on 04/08/2010

I really wish mothers who did not successfully breastfeed would give themselves a break and not take anything that a lactivist says so personally. Most of us who feel breast is best do not judge those who tried unsuccessfully. We believe breast is best because it is. Our goal is to not make mothers feel guilty, it is to demand that breastfeeding become more of the norm and that medical professionals be more supportive of breastfeeding and have more knowledge of it. I have read through the posts in this thread and almost all of the stories are of mothers who tried to breastfeed but stopped due to the lack of medical support or knowledge. As a certified lactation counselor and breastfeeding peer counselor, I can go through almost all of the posts in this thread and tell the moms what happened to cause their breastfeeding problems and what they could have done to improve it and continue breastfeeding, but because most medical staff is not as educated in breastfeeding, they usually make the problems worse.

I am an advocate for breastfeeding and breastfeeding mothers because no one was that for me when I had my first child. I, too, like most of the replies here, unsuccessfully breastfed my eldest child and had the worst experience the whole 3 months that I breastfed him until I finally gave up. All because of the misinformation from the hospital staff when I gave birth and the continued misinformation from other medical professionals and family and friends thereafter.

I went on to breastfeed my next 2 children very successfully and I am currently breastfeeding my 4th boy and we have been going strong for 6 months. Not because I had no problems, but because I found the right help from the right people when the problems arose. Sadly, most medical staff are not the "right people" and this is what breastfeeding advocates want to change. Not to make mothers feel guilty.

There is nothing wrong with giving formula when you have to and no one should feel guilty, but I wish NO mom HAD to give formula when she doesn't want to because someone can not help her to breastfeed successfully.

Chrissy - posted on 04/08/2010

I breastfed and supplemented with formula for 2 1/2 months then went to just formula. I never had a good milk supply since he had bad jaundice when he was born and they told me it would be best to give him a bottle for a while till it went away and i wanted to do whatever to make him better so i did it and after that he always wanted a bottle, but he would still breastfeed too. My supply was always low bc of supplementing. I had to stop breastfeeding bc i was put on antibiotics and not allowed to breastfeed and my pump was broken so i lost my supply...i wish i could have breastfed longer, but i don't worry about it. My son got the colostrum at least and he's doing great on formula! He's doing a lot better on formula than he did with the breastmilk. He had a lot of tummy problems with my breastmilk. I plan to breastfeed our next one (whenever that may be) and i hope that works out better, but there is nothing at all wrong with formula feeding! My sis is due in less than a month & she plans to breastfeed for about 2 weeks for the colostrum and then go to formula.

Erin - posted on 04/08/2010

Im a little upset that there are moms out there that are so rude and unsympathetic. I tried to breastfeed... my son was tongue-tied and unable to latch on, Im angry at the doctors at the hospital where he was born. They said it was no big deal and wouldnt do anything about it. I pumped and mixed it with formula to make sure he got what he needed. After two weeks my supply quit. When he was about 5 months old, and after many times complaining to the doctors they finally gave me a referral to a nose, ear and throat specialist... who agreed with me, he should have gotten his tongue clipped in the hospital before we went home.

Claire - posted on 04/08/2010

looks like u have had lots of replies but i will tell my story, first time mum my baby daughter Esther fed well in hospital lost only 50 gms from birth to discharge date (3 days) and then my milk come in after i got home and thats where the problems started because my breasts were so engorged Esther had trouble latching on and my nipples become cracked sore and bleeding Esther was also losing weight :( at 4 weeks i started expressing as my nipples weren't getting any better despite creams/airing at 7 weeks i started formula feeding my maternal nurse made me feel like a bad mother but i couln't take the pain any longer i was wincing every time i would express/breast feed which made me not let down my milk Esther is now 17 months and is happy very intellegent little girl and has never been sick apart from some eczema which is now cured and problems with her shoulder which is now fixed thanks to a kiddie chiro which is one reason they think i had trouble breast feeding because her shoulder was out from a quick birth they think it was too painful for her to feed on the one side and liked one breast better than the other, i dont feel bad now but i did family members tried to tell me to stick with it but my babies health and happiness comes first i would love to breast feed one day but i know if i cant that formula isn't bad and these days thay have all the nutrients and vitamins and minerals they need in the milk. thanks for ur post to at least im not alone in this breast is best world :)

Nikki - posted on 04/08/2010

Tiffany, this post was for women who tried to breast feed and couldn't. Whether or not that was because of medial, emotional or social problems. It really peeves me off that even though this question was aimed for a particular group of women to share their stories there are some women on here still trying to make them feel bad, go and have your everyone can breast feed banter else were! The majority of women want to breast feed and feel terrible and guilty and heart broken that they have not been able to do so, AND NO EVERYONE CANNOT BREAST FEED!!! This is a medically known fact, yes some women could have possibly could have kept going but at what cost? Don't sit there and judge these women when you have not walked in their shoes, you can never know what someone has really been through, even if you have been through a similar situation. And Niki, while I agree with your statements, I have seen quite a few of your posts and generally I agree, you are obviously well educated in this area and I appreciate that your intention was to be helpful, but it's not helpful given this situation. I don't want to offend you, but no one was asking about how to improve their situation, it's over, the breast feeding is done, if people wan't help next time I am sure that they will ask for it. It just rubs salt in the wounds.

Right now I have that off my chest.... My story. My baby was a natural at breast feeding for the first six weeks, I was so happy that everything was going well as I have every back up plan researched just in case we were to have problems. Then at 6 weeks she got thrush and couldn't latch on, even after it had cleared she couldn't latch, I saw several lactation consultants, doctors, nurses, joined the Australian breast feeding association over the following 2 months, I started loosing my milk, I tried every herb, potion, tea, tablet on the market My daughter would try and feed every hour then not seep, scream because she was hungry and then feed again, in between this I would pump, I bought the best pump I could find, and I felt like I was attached to it 24/7. I ended up getting mastitis and my nipples were so racked that my daughter was vomiting blood, I had my aunty and my mother in law with me all the time trying to help me latch as well as all the lactation ladies. After 2 months of no sleep my daughter was not reaching her developmental milestones, how could she she never slept and neither had I so I didn't have the energy to play with her. The last straw came when my husband had to stay come from work because I seriously thought I was going to have a nervous break down, he got fired for taking time off work when our baby was 3 1/2 months old. I went to my health nurse and she handed me a bottle. I cried for weeks every time I had to make her a bottle, I felt like I had failed as a mother. Then a week or two went by and we had both slept, and we found another way to bond, through playing, we finally had the energy to play. I look back now and as much as I am glad she did have a start with breast milk, I just wish I had switched her sooner and saved her all of that pain. At 5 months, she is happy and healthy reaching all of her developmental goals and the funny thing is when she was breast fed my main reason for not wanting to give up was that she might get sicker, when she was breast fed she was constantly sick because she was not getting enough sleep, since she has been on the bottle she has not been sick once.

Kelly - posted on 04/08/2010

i planned to breast feed with both of my boys (one now 5 and the other 15 months) and due to complications they were both in the NICU for about a week when they were first born... i tried to get them both to latch correctly when i was in the hospital with them but in the end i was in ALOT of pain.... i dont know if it was them not latching correctly or if it was the way my nipples were shaped but i ended up pumping for both of them for about 5 months and then weening them into formula but wow it was alot of work... i had to pump every 4-6 hours and make sure it was stored correctly and then when they were hungry i would have to warm it up and then feed them and then on top of that work having to wash all the bottles too! i wish i had been able to just breastfeed them both but it was just too painful. i beleive everyone has to do what works for them. my situation was alot of work but it worked for me. and for you, yeah it didnt go as you planned it either but youre right your baby was still fed and clothed and had all the love they needed :)

Rachael - posted on 04/08/2010

when my son was born he was in the icn and was not able to eat for the first month of life i had to pump from day one after having a c-section, and store all my milk in the hospital's freezer my son preferred the bottle over the breast so i pumped for 3 months after he came home pumping was harder to do because he was getting sick again and when he returned to the hospital the stress i went threw seriously affected my milk supply...i wanted to and planed to breast feed as long as i could but the stress stoped me from that.... the decision to stop pumping all together was hard but i went from 6 oz every 3 hers to 1 oz every 6 hrs....juss got frustrating

Erin - posted on 04/07/2010

In the hospital I tried to breast feed, the nurses were helping me out alot, but my daughter just wouldn't suck. She was what the nurses called "a lazy baby" She would only suck if the nurse put a drop of formula on my nipple, and than after about 4 or 5 sucks on my nipple she would stop until I put more formula on the nipple. I kept attempting to breast feed, but in the long run, once I got home and had to buy the formula anyways, I just didn't see the point on buying it just to put on my nipple. So after about 2 weeks I ended the breast feeding. I wish I had of stuck with it, but I was wasting the money on formula anyways.

Sarah - posted on 04/07/2010

My younger sister had a baby 9 months before my son was born, and after all the classes I've been through in going to school for being an ECE teacher I'd learned many times over how important breastfeeding could be so I really tried to get her to do it. She didn't in the end, but I think it was mostly because of her young age. So when I found out I was pregnant I planned on doing only breastfeeding. I got milk very fast. My breasts actually became pretty painfully engorged before I left the hospital, which ended up being one of the things that led me to quit breastfeeding. My left breast hurt so badly and at that point I had no idea what to do for that, so I didn't let him feed off that one, only making it worse. By the time I was pumping to help relieve it, he had also completely tore up my other nipple. A whole chunk of it was missing. I just had a horrible time with it and it upset me so much because I had wanted to be one of those moms who got to experience breastfeeding. I pumped after that and just gave it to him in bottles, and it worked for a few weeks. Then my breasts dried up. I cried and cried. His dad tried to tell me it was ok, and that formula would be fine for him but it just wasn't the same. I had loved holding him close and sharing those moments, just the two of us. Once he started getting my milk in a bottle it wasn't just me feeding him, then once he started on formula, feeding time for him was fair game. It depressed me so much. It still hurts when I see someone breastfeeding, or when someone tries telling me how good it is for the babies. I know this already. I tried, and it didn't work. I know more now then I did before, thanks to trial and error, so if I have another child hopefully it'll work better for that child.

Kyla - posted on 04/07/2010

Tiffany Bruneau.. thats exactly why you are saying this you want us all to feel bad for "giving up" You feel like you are better than us because you think we failed our children. My child is happy, healthy and beautiful. And this post should be a safe place for us women who "gave up" to share our stories with each other. None of us should feel like we are being judged. I would never judge anyone and that is exactly what you are doing.

Tiffany - posted on 04/07/2010

so it wasnt that you 'couldnt' its that you gave up.
totally different things.

I beleive ANYONE can breastfeed. It's the only way babies were born to be fed. If you had a baby 80 years ago, you wouldnt just have said "hmm. this baby isnt latching. guess its gunna die now cuz I cant feed it" since there was no formula option.

Im saying this, not to make you feel bad or anything, honestly
its to help people understand that babies need time to adjust to breastfeeding just as we do, and I feel like farrrr too many people give up prematurely.
:(

Good for you, for trying at least :) koodos.

Katt - posted on 04/07/2010

I too really wanted to breast feed. My daughter was born at 8lbs 5oz and I don't exactly have big breast for one thing, I didn't ever produce more than an oz. She was latching perfectly but was what they called a barracuda sucker (what the nurse called it) where she sucked VERY hard, I bled within 2 feedings and had 4 blisters on each side. It was very very painful. I had no idea about nipple shields, no one told me about them...I breast fed for a total of a 2 weeks. Always had to supplement after feeding. It was such a horrible experience for me. By the end of the 2 weeks, I was bruised, cracked, blistered, oozing gosh, you name it. I realllllly hope my next baby I am able to breast feed. I'll be definitely bringing some nipple shields with me lol

Tara - posted on 04/07/2010

I feel your frustrations and pain!!! My baby girl Abbi was born very small and just kept losing weight because i wasn't producing enough milk. I also saw a lactation specialist, took pills my doctor had prescribed to help bring my milk in amd many other things in order to breastfeed. Nothing worked!! I was so stressed and heartbroken that I could not give my baby the best and have that special bonding experience with her. I also had nurses, family and friends making me feel awful about the fact that I was not breastfeeding. But ultimately my Daughter had to gain the weight and be healthy so I had to put her on formula. To this day I wish I could have breast fed but I am very happy to have a happy and healthy daughter and that's all that matters!!!!! Hang in there moms and do whats best for you and your baby, not what others think is best!!!!!!!

Kyla - posted on 04/07/2010

Samantha.. I was on day three after my c section and my son had to spend a night under the billi lights for the night and I decided to have him stay in the incubator in the nursery ( I was so emotional I couldn't look at my baby, helpless in there) and the nurses were going to bring him in every 3 hours to feed. Well the first feed went really well with the one night shift nurse and 3 hours later nurse ratchet comes in wakes me up rudely and hands me my son. I can barely sit up on my own and I was in so much pain trying to move by myself.. so I got into a position that I thought would work for us to try and feed.. well i barely get my nightgown pulled down and she is barking at me that I'm doing it wrong and I need to get up and sit in a chair that I shouldn't touch his cheek and I'm holding him wrong.. I finally just to my son, held him out to her and said take him, give him a bottle and you have made me feel like a piece of garbage.. my wonderful nurse came back after that and nurse ratchet never set foot in my room after that..

Samantha - posted on 04/07/2010

My son actually forgot his "sucking" reflex while we were in the hospital. They had to teach him how to in the nursery and I never could get him to latch back on. The nurse that was caring for us tried to get me to breastfeed and I freaked out when I felt that he wasn't getting enough nutrients and that he was too hungry. He was SCREAMING and I was beyond frustrated. I tried to check out of the hospital early so I could hop on over to walmart. That would've been a huge mistake seeing as how he didn't even know how to suck. After hours upon hours of arguing with the nurse I had a breakdown (sitting with on my stitches and lack of peri education didn't help). Giving him the bottle was an added failure (in my mind) on top of the postpartum that set in. If I can't breastfeed with the next baby (and I sincerely hope that I'll be able)..... BREAST BE DARNED I'M WHIPPING OUT THE BOTTLES! Has anyone else been bullied by nurses? I even got an eye-roll out of one. Oh, and then they checked me out of the hospital so they couldn't give me any real food or pain medication for my stitches even though little Jackson was still checked in. I was a "guest" on the L&D floor. What a joke.

Samantha - posted on 04/07/2010

I had a HORRIBLE time breastfeeding my second daughter! The first couple weeks went great I was waaay more than enough milk and she was latching on perfectly, I didn't think things could get any better, I was so proud of myself. Then my milk production never slowed down or regulated, I just kept making more and more milk! I got so engorged that I got mastitis in both breasts and had to be hospitalized and given antibiotics! I called my OBGYN that same day and told them my symptoms and she told me not to worry about it, that mastitis only happens on one side. I started running a fever and throwing up, and almost fainted before I finally decided to go to the emergency room. It was one of the most uncomfortable experiences of my life! I never thought my boobs could get that big! I had to let my milk dry up or I would have risked getting infection after infection, so I said forget it. I agree that breast is best, but it's not the way for everyone! My little girl was on formula since she was 5 months old and she is ahead with all of her milestones and is in the 97% for her growth! Formula may not be ideal, but it definitely gets the job done! :)

Claire - posted on 04/07/2010

I am so with you - a few years ago, I had a breast reduction to try to relieve back problems. My husband and I had just married when we found out we were also expecting. My biggest worry was that because of the reduction, I would have complications breastfeeding. When the time came - same situation, I had given birth naturally, but since my baby came 3 wks early, my body had not kicked in with the colostrum, and my son also had low blood sugar and needed to feed immediately. The nurse gave him formula, and we were having the hardest time for him to latch, got home and for the next 2 months, we kept trying - trying to the point where I felt like such a failure and he was crying, wondering why he wasn't getting fed yet. The lack of milk coming from my ducts did not help the situation yet either. That's when I decided that I need to not stress out anymore about it and just make sure he was well fed. It still bothers me a little when people ask if he was breast fed or not, but it's easier to keep inside now. My baby is healthy and a few months ahead of his "milestone" levels, so I'm not worried about his development. Thanks for posting this, it helps a lot to know that others have gone through this and pulled through fine. Take care.

Jessica - posted on 04/07/2010

My daughter was born of a C-Section also. After the C-Section I tried breastfeeding and was successful for the first feed. Then the doc decided I needed nipple shields...which I didn't but listened bc he was supposed to know best... my daughter wouldn't latch on after that... then I got thrush from her... I got infections and tried pumping and couldn't get more than 2 ounces a day. I finally got her to latch again but my infections came back worse than ever and I finally had to stop and fully bottle feed. It was hard and I still wish I could've done it but I know that I did my best with what I was given

Carol - posted on 04/07/2010

when i had my son josh (Almost 5) i wanted to breastfeed hm. i liked the idea but honestly at 20 i wanted to go out again and didnt want to miss out on drinking. 3 years later when i had aoimhe i still liked the idea so i decided to give it a go. i went out and bought the bottles that had the tits to match the shape of my breast so i could get a pump and express when i needed to. i never got the pump incase it didnt work. the first night she fed off me. i was glad but it did feel a bit weird. i got out of hospital on the saturday and she stopped feeding off me and was sleeping for around 7 hours. she was hungry but with no food in her she had no energy to wake for her feed or even drink in her sleep. that evening i sent my partner down to get formula. i decided to feed it out of the bottles i had for her so i could still try and feed her myself when she had a good feed in her. but she would not feed off them bottles either. that sunday i sent my partner down to the shop to buy a different bottle after my mother suggested it. she took a full feed from that and by this stage the shop was closed. i ended up feeding her every 4 hours that night and having to sterelise the bottle during the night after each feed and making it up again. i did try to breast feed her again a few times but it would not happen. she wanted the bottle and that was that. i was glad with her i did try as with josh i felt i should have but it just didnt work. i was happy knowing i tried and once i knew she was getting her full tummy i was happy

Rose - posted on 04/07/2010

i planned with my 1st child kayla to brestfeed ...in the hospital i tried to get her to latch to my breast and my baby just would not latch i had a midwife in the room tryin to help me we even tried different techniques..she was not having it she jsut did not want to latch. so after a few tries i let her go with the nurses she came back with me after i rested we tried it again no luck..so there was my plan to breastfeed...i always heard it was better to give the baby nutrition..but i did bottle feed ..but now days formula is so advance n their is formula that is like breast milk so i guess it worked out for the best..i never did plan to breastfeed my son but now he probably would have been the latcher...the lucky one that could have been able to do it.But i have two really healthy kids, so it didnt turn out too bad!

Jade - posted on 04/07/2010

i don't beleive that not breastfeeding is wrong and i comletely understand that some people can't do it or dont want to for what ever reason. you tried and that sthe main thing :) maybe next time you could try accupunture?? i hear that it can help bring milk in.
i was really worried that i wouldn't be able 2 breastfeed my kids while pregnent with my first beacuse when i was younge i wore my nipples off slip'n'sliding on our trampaline lol, and i had difficuolty at first coz he couldn't latch on, so i used nipple sheilds and they worked well for me and now i'm breastfeedin my second with out them.]
i feel lucky that i was able 2 breast feed at all after the nipple wearin lol
anyway dont let ppl push the opinions on you, coz u have tried and done you best, and as you said the main thing is that bubs is fed, clothed and loved it really shouldn't matter how they r fed :)

Cassie - posted on 04/07/2010

I planned on it also was so excited!! I gave birth fast and i had a blood clot the size of the placenta!! I lost so much blood i needed a transfusion my doc didnt believe in it so I had to deal.. which left me jundace for 4 weeks and was very week I tried to breastfeed but since i lost so much blood i couldnt produce milk i had a break down and felt horrible that i couldnt feed my son.... But you gotta do what you gotta do and pick yourself up so you can take care of your precious child as long as he had food and was happy i realized that it wasnt my fault but i will definatly try to breastfeed my next child...

Holly - posted on 04/07/2010

I had my HEART set on breastfeeding and I was so excited to hold my daughter for the first time and try to breastfeed. She NEVER latched on properly and when she would latch even semi-well she seemed like she wasn't getting anyting and she was ALWAYS hungry. I would give her bottles at night and breatsfeed during the day. Finally, after 6 weeks of frustration on both our ends, I said enoughis enough and I switched to just formula.



16 months after my first one was born I had my second baby. I tried and tried to BF with her as well, but after 3 weeks of the same issues I had encountered with my first, I decided not to put myself through that heartache anymore. I switched to just formula and she was just fine.



After I stopped BF my youngest I had a mammogram done (the lactation consultant I had been working with recommended it) and they saw that my milk ducts were small and clogged. That was why I had been unable to BF. It was such a relief knowing why, but still a bit of heartache. I have stopped beating myself up over it though and I am happy knowing my kids are both healthy and happy! :)

Megan - posted on 04/07/2010

I too planned to breast feed my baby. After having it drilled into me as the only option! After my boy was born I tried breastfeeding and found it VERY painful. Everyone I spoke to just kept telling me, it isnt suppose to hurt, your doing something wrong. Yet no one seemed to be able to show me what to do so that it didnt hurt (whatever they told me to do, it still hurt) But I kept at it because when I mentioned bottles everyone said....no no give it a chance! The day I went home I planned to try harder and not give up. But all alone at night with a screaming baby....hour after hour and so much pain. I thought to myself this is unfair on my baby....not to mention me of course! So I sent my husband to get formula. Straight after the bottle he was asleep. I also think its terrible the way people look down onto the people who bottle feed, and sure maybe I should have tried harder! He is now a very happy and healthy 5 year old. So looking back I really dont have any regrets. I just wish someone could have told me at the time that they understood instead of making me feel inadequet!

Rachael - posted on 04/07/2010

From when I got pregnant I was never comfortable with the idea of breastfeeing. I don`t know why but it just always seemed strange. It was really important to his dad so I attended a breastfeeding class for information and was then even more concinved it wasn;t for me. We bought a pump but when my son was born it didn`t work so i figured I would give breastfeeding a shot and maybe it would grow on me. I never exclusively breastfed because my son was pretty big and lost too much weight in the beginnign and was very fussy because I didn`t make enough. I supplemented with formula for the first 2 months, still hated breastfeeding so I stopped and my son has been on formula only ever since

Kayla - posted on 04/07/2010

my whole pregnancy i wanted to breastfeed so bad. I wanted to feel that closeness with my son. I tried to breastfeed in the hospital, they had given my a nipple sheild. but it was painful! when i went to my lactation specialist she told me they had given me the wrong size.(to small) and she told me that both my nipples were inverted and flat. so that was a huge dissapointment to me. So i tried the nipple sheild for a few days but i then couldnt take it anymore. So i started pumping which was less painfull and yet he could still get my milk. Then i dried up after 2 1/2 weeks. That really hurt. I wanted to give him all the good nutrition i could give him. I dont know why i dried up. I tried the tea that is supposed to help milk production and that was nasty and it didnt help. so i reluctantly put him on formula. then he started throwing it all up. so we put him on cows milk and he loved it. and he wasnt spitting any of it up. The next time we saw are ped. she got mad at us because we were feeding him cows milk. So she put us on alimentum. because she told us that he is allergic to the cows milk protein. but we were confused because he would drink cows milk with no problem. but he is doing good now.

Kayla - posted on 04/07/2010

my whole pregnancy i wanted to breastfeed so bad. I wanted to feel that closeness with my son. I tried to breastfeed in the hospital, they had given my a nipple sheild. but it was painful! when i went to my lactation specialist she told me they had given me the wrong size.(to small) and she told me that both my nipples were inverted and flat. so that was a huge dissapointment to me. So i tried the nipple sheild for a few days but i then couldnt take it anymore. So i started pumping which was less painfull and yet he could still get my milk. Then i dried up after 2 1/2 weeks. That really hurt. I wanted to give him all the good nutrition i could give him. I dont know why i dried up. I tried the tea that is supposed to help milk production and that was nasty and it didnt help. so i reluctantly put him on formula. then he started throwing it all up. so we put him on cows milk and he loved it. and he wasnt spitting any of it up. The next time we saw are ped. she got mad at us because we were feeding him cows milk. So she put us on alimentum. because she told us that he is allergic to the cows milk protein. but we were confused because he would drink cows milk with no problem. but he is doing good now.

Kimberly - posted on 04/07/2010

I planned on at least trying but the first thing the nurse did was give him a bottle and I was too out of it, due to the medication/spinal block from my c-section, to say otherwise. Also my son was born with a cleft lip and he couldn't latch on properly.

Brennis - posted on 04/07/2010

I was pregnant, and determined I would breastfeed. I wanted the bond and i heard it was better for the baby. However, at the start of my third trimester, I got narcotizing pancreatitis. Basically my pancreas had holes. I went in and they couldn't give me pain meds. The next day i got an emergency c section. My daughter came out and needed help breathing, but the hospital didn't have the machine... She was flown to the next town. I barely got to see her. To make a long story short, we spent 3 weeks apart, i tried to breastfeed, but the hospital people, the meds they put me on and the whole deal pretty much made it impossible. I got home and tried again, but i was still healing and finally had to make a choice, take longer getting healed or not breastfeeding my baby.

I wanted to hold my daughter and not hurt because the wound in my stomach wasn't healed. So i decided to heal and feed my baby formal.. she was use to it anyway.

I remember being mad at my dad, for pointing out that it would be better for the baby if i breastfeed her. I thought it would be better for her to have a mom not afraid to pick her up.

Amanda - posted on 04/07/2010

Reading all of these comments have made me feel so much better - my daughter will be 7 next month and I still feel guilty because I couldn't breastfeed. Most women seem to go on and on about how easy it was to breastfeed. Like most of you, I had planned to all along, but she just wouldn't latch. I went to the pediatrician, to my ob-gyn and to a lactation consultant but nothing helped. At 5 days she had lost almost 20% of her birth weight and was completely jaundiced. She was starving yet everyone was still telling me to avoid the bottle! I made an executive decision - I pumped and went ahead and gave her the bottle. She took to that thing right away, with no hesitation whatsoever. So that's what we did for the first month; I pumped and gave her bottles. I wasn't producing enough though, so I had to supplement and by the end of the first month I had dried up, so we switched to straight formula. When she was 9 months old, she stopped taking the bottle altogether. On the plus side though, my daughter started sleeping through the night at 6 weeks old, and only woke up once or twice during the night before that.

Jamie - posted on 04/07/2010

Niki, get off your high horse. For you to insinuate that these women have not educated themselves is wildly inappropriate. Formula exists so that children can be given proper nutrition instead of depriving them while their parents screw around with centuries-old "herbal remedies". Technology has taught us plenty about what a baby's body needs to thrive. Formulas are a more than acceptable way to nourish a newborn. Your way is not the only way and shame on you for putting down another mother about her choice (the same choice you said, yourself, each woman has the right to make). I would normally never call someone out, but since you felt the need to do it, I decided I could too.

Shelli - posted on 04/07/2010

I planned on breastfeeding my son who was born 11/13/08. I thought it would just be natural & I had it in the bag. My best friend breastfed her daughter for two years w/ no complications, so I figured I would be the same. I had an emergency c-section (1st dilemma) When I came to my room, my son had not eaten & I tried to get him to latch on, but he wouldn't. The nurse in the hospital, was no help & quick to give me a bottle, me being very inexpericened took it. I was in the hospital for 4 days. I had several lactation consultans come in to help, I did have to supplement w/ formula & even pump to give him my milk. When I left the hospital he still hadn't latched on. I used nipple shields, I pumped just so I could give him my milk. I found out my son was tounge tied & that was the main reason he wasn't able to latch on. Toung tied is when the fundulum under the tounge is to close to the tip. I had that snipped at about 2 months old, but by that time it almost seemed impossible. I pumped for those two months & eventually my milk dried up. That was the most stressful thing that I went through w/ my newborn & I believe it even caused me some depression. So I definantly can underdstand where you ae comming from & how that made you feel. I just had my daughter on 3/25/2010 & I am determined once again to breastfeed for as long as I can, so far so good. Although she does prefer one breast over the other, which I here is common. It can be quite frustrating, cause it will take me 30-45 minutes sometimes to get her to latch on. Just know you arenot the only one & at leats you tried.

Yinni - posted on 04/07/2010

like many of you ladies i share a similar story. i planned on breastfeeding my son from the beginning. i figured why not? my mother successfully breastfed 3 children so why cant i. my son was born, and started latching funny. no problem, my post partum nurses were very helpful in helping me find a better position so my son could latch on better. he had a healthy appetite, and i was happy that i was able to breastfeed. 2 days later we were released from the hospital and thats where my nightmare started.

as days passed my son began to lose weight fairly quickly, and i started noticing that my milk was drying up. my son was only able to feed for 3-5 minutes on each breast. every time i fed him he would cry his little eyes out because he was still hungry. ive tried pumping, and was only able to get 1-2 ounces out of both breasts (pumping for 30 min straight). i changed my diet countless of times, tried every freaking herbal, medicinal "remedy" to help my supply... let me tell you that crap doesnt work and was the biggest waste of my time and money... ive talked to several lactation consultants in my area, different hospitals, doctors... everyone was baffled at why i couldnt keep my milk supply going. at this time my son was pretty much permanently attached to my breast so he could get something to eat. another week went by and my milk supply turned to dust, leaving a very hungry, unhappy baby. i was reduced to tears and felt like the biggest failure. i had my husband go out and get him formula at this point. i was not going to let my baby starve. we gave the formula to my son and for the first time in weeks he was pacified.

i never gave up on trying but my body decided to shut down and there was nothing i could do to change that. 13 months later my son is still a healthy, happy, growing boy. if i have another child, i will try and breastfeed again, but this time i wont sweat it if it doesnt work out. it is what is is.

Christin - posted on 04/07/2010

katie- they have videos. if you go to the health department they have an instructional dvd you can watch. it teaches you how to get the baby to latch and the right way to breastfeed. they said alot of people do it wrong but dont know.

Katie - posted on 04/07/2010

My daughter was one month early. I had plenty of milk but I had such a hard time getting her to latch on. The nurse would come in and help me and she got her to latch on every time but for some reason when I tried I just couldn't do it. I felt humiliated that I couldn't get MY own daughter to latch on but the nurse could do it with me. I tried breastfeeding when I got home but being a first time mother it was just getting really frusterating, my fiance saw how upset I was getting and told me we should just stick to formula. I had tons of milk, my shirts were getting soaked with the milk I was producing but I just couldn't get her to latch on. With my next child I am for sure going to try harder and talk with the doctor/nurse if I have more problems. I was ashamed that I couldn't do it myself but now I look at it as a learning experience and I shouldn't be ashamed and I should really seek more help and be more open about it.

Sarah - posted on 04/07/2010

Thank you for sharing your story! With my first child I had one flat and one inverted nipple. It was excruciatingly painful to even try to nurse her. I fought and fought, the day she was born, to just nurse her through that pain but it was too much. I had read something about nipple confusion, during the pregnancy, and didn't want her to have a bottle or even so much as a pacifier until I could figure something out so she was fed with a medicine dropper. After a while that wasn't enough for her. So at that point I had to ask myself if it was more important for her to nurse or to eat...period! That's when I talked to a lactation consultant and I was given a pump and two different kinds of shields. I would try to pump but it took two weeks for my milk to come it. By then she was on the bottle/formula and I would just introduce her to the breast several times a day and she wouldn't have anything to do with it. At that point she started becoming VERY constipated and began having rectal bleeding. Her pediatrician encouraged me to keep trying with the breast feeding to looses up her BMs and make it easier for her tummy to digest. I also started see another lactation consultant who worked with me and my daughter tirelessly until she actually latched on. I cried for the 45 min that she nursed simply out of pain. Two swollen, cracked and bleeding nipples later I came to find out I had an infection. So I would nurse her on the other breast and pump on the infected one. I continued to supplement the breast milk with formula/milk but I also continued to nurse her, 2-3 times a day (I never really produced enough milk to nurse exclusively) until she was 1 1/2 just to make sure she was getting enough of the "good stuff". In a lot of ways I felt like I let her down but at a certain point it became more important to me that she be fed and not necessarily where she was being fed from. My baby needed to eat. After this experience I realized there is no right or wrong choice for feeding your baby. As long as their tummies are full and their happy and healthy...that's what's really important! Fortunately I never really felt bullied or pressured into nursing her by any one. I think I was harder on myself than anyone else was. When I found out I was pregnant with my son I was so anxious to "try again". It was much, MUCH easier the second time around. I still had to supplement for the first couple of days. But my milk came in sooner, my breast and nipples weren't as tender and I was able to nurse him exclusively until he was 2 1/2! I am expecting again and I can't wait to see what challenges this one is going to bring. If he has to be formula fed so be it and if he's able to nurse so be it. I'm just happy if my baby is happy, plain and simple!

Shalena - posted on 04/07/2010

I was all for breastfeeding, my daughter was born on dec. 2nd and it was going great but on the 8th(it was also my b-day) my mother in law decided to open her mouth about something(we were living there at the time but already in the process of moving out of state) my hubby had fallen asleep on the couch from watching a movie and he didn't come to bed well that morning she told him to go to her bed to sleep, after she was out of bed. anyways she confronted me and told me that i had 2 choices, either have my hubby sleep in another room(cause of him waking up every time ashlyn woke up to eat, which he didnt actually..boo hoo hoo on him bc this is your child too) or move my daughter into another room and I said ashlyn is staying by my bed and chris can move. Then she says"I can't BELIEVE YOUR KICKING YOUR HUSBAND OUT OF HIS OWN BED" I said I am not kicking him out of his bed he is kicking him self out of his bed.. we had already talked about this well needless to say that had put extra stress on me and I was producing over 3 oz. of milk at every feeding and within 2 days it went to 1 oz and then I had to start supplementing formula with the breast milk and when she found out that he had fallen asleep there and that he was just so tired he didn't get up she still never apologized to me, but i still gave my daughter breast milk for about a month and then I was just not making anything to pump out

Marjorie - posted on 04/07/2010

I was so torn by my decision to put my baby on formula i put both of us through a week of pure torture. They only encourage breast feeding at the hospital and i think it makes you feel so guilty when you are a first time mom that it makes things worse. I totally agree that you in one way feel bullied into doing it.

Cori - posted on 04/07/2010

Thanks for posting this! It is encouraging to know I'm not the only one who tried but couldn't.

I was supposed to have a natural birth and breastfeed but I ended up having pregnancy hypertension that caused my blood pressure to jump up anytime I was on my feet. They put me on bed rest and decided to induce me two weeks early. After being in labor for almost 18 hours they decided to do an emergency c-section. Then after my son was out the doctor tells me that something is wrong with one of my ovaries and he has to do surgery on it. It turns out I had a type of cystic tumor that had taken over on ovary. He tried for another hour to save the ovary but ended up having to take the whole thing.

I was so tired after 18 hours of labor, emergency c-section, and an additional hour of surgery that I couldn't barely keep my eyes open when they brought us back to our room. I didn't get to even try to breast feed until the next day. He latched on fine though and we started our journey. Despite feeding around the clock he had lost almost a pound within a few days of being born. Because he was already small from being a bit early and he'd lost over 10% of his start weight they asked me to start supplementing some formula. We continued on trying to breastfeed, supplementing, and pumping. I tried all the herbal remedies but could only get a couple ounces at a time. At six weeks postpartum I completely dried up and had to switch over. The doctors think that the loss of my ovary screwed up my hormonal balance and made it hard for me to produce enough. At least I know that I really did fight tooth and nail to do it.

Lacey - posted on 04/07/2010

I gave birth at 3:11 am and after I took my shower my nurse asked me if I wanted to breast feed. I said yes! Thats where the fun began. I have flatter nipples so she wouldnt latch. So I pumped everytime I fed her. When we got homeI continued to pump and I would try every now and again to breast feed. Until one day she got it! then the next day I stopped producing. I went to my doctors and she said there was medication she could put me on but it wouldnt be worth it for me cause I only wanted to breast feed for the first 6 months.
I know how hard it is. I felt like a failure. But Lilian is happy and healthy and I couldnat as for more.
xox

Melissa - posted on 04/07/2010

i also had a breast reduction at 19 and the only problem i had at the beginning was that he didn't like the shape of one nipple but that had nothing to do with the surgery it was always shaped like that. Then i had to stop breast feeding for 2 weeks due to meds for an infection and pumping just didn't work for me so i dried up and couldn't get him to latch on after that.

Jodie - posted on 04/07/2010

i tried my hardest to bf my daughter, but she couldnt latch on properly, we seen doctors and midwives and lactation specialists but no matter how much i wanted to do it after 3 weeks i had to stop, i cried the whole time she tried to feed my boobs were purple and bleeding, even the pumped milk was a strawberry colour.. and i cried for days when i stopped trying and gave her formula, but i wanted her to be a healthy bub with a full tummy and wasnt risking making her sick to keep my self happy especially since i couldnt feed without having to put my feet under something to arch against cos of the pain.. second time around was much more successful and my son fed for a year, but now wont drink or eat any thing dairy including formula.. wondering how my twins go in a few short months time.. its good to see a post of helpful postive comments for those that cant breast feed, its not fair to be pressured into something that is suppose to be but doesnt come naturally for everyone

Sarah - posted on 04/07/2010

I tried breastfeeding for a month I had great supply but despite a really good diet Marshall was too big and wanted more and my breastmilk was like water with no nutrients at all. It was a difficult decision for me to feed him formula but I'm glad I did because he's now a very happy fast growing four month old who has solids for breakfast lunch and dinner and bottles in between meals.

Christina - posted on 04/07/2010

I breastfed my first born for 7 1/2 months and then she went straight to juices, water, and real milk from the sippy cup. I didn't have any problems with labor or breastfeeding with her. I also breastfed my twins for 4 1/2 months but always had to supplement with a bottle at night time because mommy just didn't make enough after the busy -ody day time action. Then my milk dwindled down and I had to stop breastfeeding because they just flat out weren't getting enough at all. Figured out why...I was pregnant with triplets! I tried SO HARD to breastfeed my girls when they were born. One of our daughters had passed away 20 weeks through my pregnancy from TTTS and that took a big toll on me. Then my two girls were born at 31 weeks and had to be tube fed for a few weeks, then switched to bottle. This made them have a VERY poor suck and when I tried breastfeeding their little mouths were too tiny for me to get in all the way and they didn't suck hard enough. So I pumped for them the whole time they were in the hospital, and for about a month after they came home. So they got breast milk for about 2 months. I was so upset that I couldn't feed them like I fed my other twins. It was really hard for me. They also needed special formula for being premies. But they are 10 months now and doing just fine! : ) I still don't like giving them the formula though. lol I guess it's just a breast milk is best milk thing. I know how my other children's eating habits were and their weight and even peeing and pooping with the breast milk. Formula treats the child's body COMPLETELY different from breast milk. But you have to do what you have to do. It's more important for your baby to be able to get a full tummy when they are hungry than to stress about things! Hope this helped : )

Shannon - posted on 04/07/2010

April, I may not be the best one to say this as at one point i did have an opp to breast feed but lost that chance when i dried up after 2wks... I know how you feel and can honestly say, as long as the baby is healthy, happy, and has a full tummy, you shouldn't beat yourself up over it... You're trying and that's the best anyone who wants to breastfeed can do... a lot of times it doesn't happen, but as long as the baby is healthy and happy, that's all that should matter... you did what needed to be done and there's nothing saying you can't try again the next go around, i know i plan too