getting kids do as there told first time round

Abigail - posted on 01/24/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )

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my children do not listen to me, ever. They just completely ignore me, i play with them, read to them take them where they want to go, they still dont listen to me help??????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Larissa - posted on 01/24/2009

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I know that feeling. My kids are 22 months apart but with my daughter having down syndrome it is more like twins. I had also worked with a public health nurse because I was having a hard time. Some other things I tried were rewarding them when they did as they were told (whether it is candy for staying with you and listening the entire time you are shopping or staying a little later getting a special time with just you or a little cheap toy of their choice for listening at home). Another thing I tired was ignoring the bad behaviors and praising them when they did something I asked them to do. That helped and I think using those 2 items were the key to where I am today. It takes time. The program I used was a 12 week thing. The key to it is consistancy. I wouldn't give into everything they want though, if you let them do that it gives the idea that they are incharge. Make an area at home that is for when they are naughty (I live with my parents and we use the bottom step of the stairs, it is away from all toys and the tvs). It is hard at first but it gets easier.

Brittany - posted on 01/24/2009

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Do you show them you're frustrated?  I take it you have sat down with them and explained to them when they treat you and ignore you, that hurt's your feelings?  I know that sounds small but just curious.  Do you yell or do you have a "voice" they know to listen for to indicate you're upset?  Are they involved in extra-curriculars?  How old are your children?

Abigail - posted on 01/24/2009

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i have tried to do that, it doesnt work, i even threw there toys away and they dont care, theyre like a little team when they start!

Larissa - posted on 01/24/2009

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My kids do that a lot to. I started taking toys they enjoy with away after warning them. That has seemed to help a lot. Now usually just a warning of you need to do this or you will not get to play with this toy works. Sometimes I have to actually take the toy away (I usually do it for the rest of that day only or if it is at like bedtime I tell them they won't be able to play with it the next day) and then if they continue to do that I will put them on a time out (1 minute per year of age is how I do it with the exception of my daughter because she has down syndrome so I go by her developmental age). Hope it helps.

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