Hair bow Controversy ???

Lauren - posted on 04/20/2010 ( 53 moms have responded )

109

11

12

My daughter is completely bald and I love to put bows on her head. I have gotten numerous comments from my MIL about how dumb and ridiculous bows are.

She has even gone as far as to comment on my fb pictures. She said (on my baby's picture) "Oh you poor thing, you need to come and stay with grandma. I won't put those stupid things on your head" She also made the comment that Northern people don't put bows on their babies and that its just a silly southern thing.



It really frustrates me when she says things like this. Its my choice, shes my daughter if I want to but a bow on her head I will.

I was just wondering how many other moms put bows on their daughters and where you are from?

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

La - posted on 04/20/2010

0

0

62

My daughter is 15 months old and I haven't put bows in her hair and don't plan to any time soon.

Amy - posted on 04/28/2011

71

24

5

Do it for as long as your baby will let you, I am fortunate that my babygirl has very full head of hair and have been able to put it into a ponytail or pig tails since she was four months old but I have a ton of hair clips with bows and put them in her hair all of the time but she has recently started to tug on them so I am not sure I will be able to do it much longer :( I think bows on baby girls are super sweet. Your MIL can think what she likes you dress her the way you want!

Sarah - posted on 04/25/2010

16

1

3

Headbands with all sorts of bows, flowers, butterflies, etc are super cute and very "in" right now! I'm sure whatever her comments are on your fb, they only make her look bad.

And to say putting a bow on your baby is like saying she's not pretty enough is just crap. Like they never dressed up their girls in fancy dresses?

Good for you for doing what YOU choose with YOUR baby.

[deleted account]

I have a little boy and if I could-- I would put bows on his head because they are so adorable. So don't stop the fashion statement! Don't take what your mother in law says to heart, I could see my family saying the same thing.... sounds like she's a bit sarcastic so comment back something like "she wears a huge bow to hide the fushia lipstick stain you left on her forehead!" Hahaha. She probably wouldn't diss you on facebook again after that.

Brittney - posted on 04/24/2010

1

0

0

I know how you feel. I love bows, my daughter has very little hair but i've been attaching them to headbands. I think they are adorable. My mom and I are the only ones who think so though. While I have never heard my MIL say anything negative about how I dress her, anytime she visits them when I come to pick her up her bow is off. And his sisters have made it clear that they don't like them. All I can say is, do what you want, she is your kid, and you won't have the chance to do it over so enjoy your time while you can. And forget what everyone else thinks.

This conversation has been closed to further comments

53 Comments

View replies by

Charity - posted on 04/28/2011

93

5

8

I agree...maybe you should just straight up tell that she is your daughter and if you want to do something you will and she really has no say in the matter. Seriously though she should be complimenting what a beautiful granddaughter she has rather than criticizing.

Melissa - posted on 04/28/2011

42

4

1

I think you should come up with some witty response to her meddling. When she says its something only silly Southern women do, remind her that men all over the country practically drool over Southern women so we must be doing something right in the way we raise our daughters. Then ask if Yankee women have that same response. Be sure to laugh like it is just a joke though so as not to seem like a b-witch.

As far as the comments on your facebook pictures, a good response would be something like "But if she came to your house without her bows, then she would look like you were trying to make her look like a boy." It isn't a snarky, snotty response but it shows that you will stand up for your parenting decisions.

People usually aren't expecting witty replies to their crappy attitudes so they generally shut up.

Merry - posted on 04/28/2011

9,274

169

248

I dislike the bows and head bands. So I'll put hats on her instead! It's a personal preference, I don't like it but it's obviously none of my business if someone does like bows!

Courtney - posted on 04/28/2011

10

39

2

If my daughter would keep the bow on her head, she'd always wear one! I think it's a personal choice, so your MIL's opinion shouldn't make you change the way you're dressing your daughter, especially something like a bow

Cyndel - posted on 04/28/2011

754

24

42

I like bows that aren't too big. My cousin who is in OK, put bows on her daughter that were (not exagerating) bigger then her head when she was first born. I always thought huge bows look ridiculous, but I would never tell her that. It is her daughter and if she thinks it is sweet and adorable who am i to contradict, I simply won't be doing the same if I have a daughter. It isn't my business, I simply say she looks sweet or cute and make no mention of her bow and what I think of it.

♥♪Megan♫♥ - posted on 04/27/2011

6,434

12

67

I'm a mom from Western New York and I put bows in my older daughter's hair. I tried a headband on my younger one today and she lost it.
Christ it's not as if you're like my ex husband who brought our daughter back to my house with her hair geled into a fauxhawk. Our daughter was just over one at the time and I promptly washed that out of her hair. But your MIL sounds like a PITA (pain in the ass) to me. But that's just my opinion

[deleted account]

Wait what? Seriously a southern thing my ass. I'm from Washington State. I can't count the number of baby girls I've seen around here with bows, hair ribbons, and other things.

My mom would put ribbons in my hair until I did my own hair at 8. Even then on holidays she would put ribbons in.

I so want to put a bow in my daugther's hair, but her hair is too thin to hold it in. I crocheted headbands for her with little flower clips.

[deleted account]

Im from Boston & bows on baby girls heads is totaly common! ( and adorable i might add) Although that would annoy me, id just brush it off.

Rose - posted on 04/27/2011

1

0

0

I think it's fine when they are big enough to let you know if it bothers them. When I see huge bows on newborn infant, it freaks me out. It does not look comfortable and it seems pretty ridiculous. People keep asking why I never put bows on my daughter and I always chicken out and tell them we don't have any or I forgot to. From now on I'm going to tell the truth: She's my baby, not my barbie doll.

Diana - posted on 04/27/2010

66

9

7

Everyone always told me my daughter looked adorible with her bows! I am from oregon. I started putting them in my daughter's hair when she was about 9 months old because her bangs were starting to get in her eyes but her hair wasn't long enough to put up. She is now 2 and wont wear her hair up, so I use cute ribbons and bows whenever we go out! She has such curly blond hair that it is so adorible! I love seeing baby girls in bows, so I say keep it up!

Jodi - posted on 04/27/2010

2,694

52

168

I'm from Wisconsin and I put bows on my daughter's head!!!! Nobody ever gave me slack for it, in fact, most people thought it was really cute!!!

Jen - posted on 04/27/2010

1,794

12

290

First of all your daughter looks so cute with that bow on. :) I personally don't care for the big bows, but they are cute. My daughter has some smaller bows that my MIL found and she loves to wear them. Now that her hair is long enough to put up she prefers piggy tails, but we do put bows on every now and then. We're from Florida, but I don't think bows are a southern thing. Your MIL needs to get over herself.

Claudia - posted on 04/27/2010

37

5

3

My little Girl is 19 months old. She actually has pretty long hair so I put her hair up in cute little pig tails or in just a pony on the top of her head and I always put a bow in her hair. I think it is the cutest thing ever. I was extremely excited to have a little girl because I can dress her up all girlie and cute. I told my mom that I am going to put her in dresses and all girlie until she is able to rebell against me. But I think it just makes it all complete when they have bows in their hair. And BTW I am from Northern Idaho So I don't think it is just a southern thing.

I know it is frustrating when you do things and everyone else keeps telling you that its a stupid idea. Or I wouldn't do that. But she isn't their baby and as long as you are taking care of her and making sure she is safe what is the difference If you put a bow on her head. It isn't hurting her and it isn't hurting anyone else. I am sorry if that is a little Harsh but that is my opionion.

Lauren - posted on 04/27/2010

109

11

12

I want to thank all of you for your lovely, encouraging comments. I will continue to put bows on my baby no matter what my MIL says. Its also nice to hear that its not just a "southern thing" Thanks again for your support!!

Danielle - posted on 04/27/2010

915

38

38

If I have a girl this time around, I personally wouldn't put bows, clips, barrettes, ponytails, or headbands in my daughter's hair until she had enough hair for those sort of things to sit in. I still think some babies (bald or with very little hair) still look really cute with those types of accessories as long as they aren't really out there or loud. I know how you feel being frustrated and whatnot though because my mom makes stupid comments when I put certain types of hats on my son's head and I sometimes honestly want to slap her and shake her and say "HE'S MY BABY, NOT YOURS! SO STFU!!!!"

Cynthia - posted on 04/26/2010

8

22

0

ps: I like it cause its sooo cute and its obvious she's a girl!! and She is your baby!! you have every right to enjoy accesorizing :D my husband even does it too makes me smile...

Cynthia - posted on 04/26/2010

8

22

0

from northern ohio... I put bows in my hair when she has a little hair I put a little clip bow in her hair the head bands would indent her head and I would feel bad but with these clips they're really cute and don't hurt her at all if they do that is... you can get them at target etc any color and they're just clips look like bows :D

Tiffany - posted on 04/26/2010

24

37

1

I love it! My daughter never goes out without a bow. Otherwise I would probably get the comment is that a little boy? She has no hair as well and I don't see anyhting wrong with bows. I do think there is such think as too big of a bow for a baby's head, but I don't think it is bad to make her look like a cute little girl! Like you said it is your daughter and if they don't like it well when they watch her they can take it off her but when she is in your care then it is your choice ( : Have fun and enjoy dressing up your little girl whiel you still can. I dread the day when she is goingt o want to dress herself and end up with mix matched clothes and rainboots on but she will still be cute and my daughter and that is allt hat matters but i am enjoying dressing her like a sweet little girl whiel I can.

Medic - posted on 04/26/2010

3,922

19

551

I am soooo not girly but I have seriously like 30-40 different headbands with almost 100 different bows of all sizes to put on them and I made most of them. I am also from South Texas and that is how I grew up but I have had some comments and I just say good thing shes not your child. My daughter has red curly hair and is only 3 months....can you imagine how many hair accessories she will have by one!!! Tell your MIL where to put it and she can just go mind her own effin business because you wern't asking for her opinion....and if you wanted it you would give it to her.

Sarah - posted on 04/26/2010

1,499

10

39

Well, I have a baby boy so no bows for me either lol. :) But, I think they are absolutely adorable! I have heard my mom say negative things about bows before, too...something like "That kid always has those big ole bows on her head!" Well, if I have a girl someday, she better get used to it, because I'm sure I'll be putting big ole bows on her head lol. :) I see little girls with bows ALL over the place. Not sure if it's a southern thing or not...although I AM from East Texas. :) They have cute little boutiques all around here.

Michele - posted on 04/26/2010

21

14

1

My daughter has a bow in her hair every time we go out. I think the bigger the better. Especially, when your daughter has little hair, it helps you avoid that "what a cute little boy." comment. Maybe you could have your hubs, tell her to stop saying rude comments about the bows. It isn't any of her never mind anyway.

Francesca - posted on 04/26/2010

502

36

16

Ha Ha. I love to put bows in my baby's (lack of) hair. In fact, my MIL buys lots of them but my Dh hides them. He hates them...

And I am sure I am farther up north than your MIL. I live in Central Ontario, Canada.

Do whatever you like. Its your baby! Ignore everyone else! Next time she makes a comment, thank her and remind her that your little one is luckily your's and not hers...

Bernie - posted on 04/26/2010

102

10

14

ivegooten the same thing kinda, im from texas and in texas we put bows on our little girl and when we moved out to california everyone was all look at her blah blah blah some liked it some dont, my hubby said it was a southren thing. people also laugh when i tell my daughter no ma'am. i wouldnt listen to her. bows are so cute! just tell her im not you and i cant do as i please. and delete her if she cant be nice.

Audrey - posted on 04/26/2010

42

21

2

I am expecting in July and I can not wait to put bows on her. Yes I am from Georgia, but my mother-in-law is from the north(new york) and she loves the little bows that I got at the shower yesterday.

Jillian - posted on 04/26/2010

28

15

0

You are completely right...she is your daughter and it is your decision. I am from Michigan and I put bows and lotsa head bands on my daughter...who is also bald. I even went as far as getting the velcro bows that stick to what little hair she has. They are sooo cute if you ask me. And they say that if you put stuff on their head when they are little, that when they get older they are less likely to pull off their hair ties, hats and headbands. So have at it, they are cute and used everywhere...so tell your MIL that it is not just a southern thing...we Michiganders do it as well

Ashley - posted on 04/26/2010

956

23

134

Im from canada and i have put them in both my daughter;s hair since neither has had alot of hair in their first years the oldest never kept them on my the youngest will for a bit and i think they are so cute

Rachelle - posted on 04/26/2010

229

19

20

i'm from canada and i do so do all my friends especially if there wearing a cute outfit i mean they sell them as sets. i thinks its adorable you can't really put anything else in their hair when they dont have any.... (i can't wait untill my little girls hair is long enough to put clips in....

[deleted account]

Bows are so sweet and its even sweeter to see them on babies with a full head of hair to..since my baby's birth who is my second she had a full head of hair and i put a slide in it all the time her head was too small for the baby size headbands for mths but i had to take the slide out at 6 months because she wanted to eat it at that age...but no i love headbands and slides the whole lot.Your daughter is so super cute in the profile pic..lovely bow she looks so sweet not silly.

Rebecca - posted on 04/20/2010

1,988

118

311

I personally don't like the stick on bows. I don't mind the head bands but i find the sick on's look tacky. She is your daughter and you can do what you want. Until the day your daughter turns to you and says she doesn't like them,keep at it. I have friends that have used them on their kids and although I don't like them, i have never told them what i think of it. It's not my decision to make.
Don't back down from the MIL...they all suck in general and this is just her spat,she'll get over it and see who's the mommy.

Sara - posted on 04/20/2010

11

10

2

A bow is not "trashy" on a baby, that would be if she was wearing a bow or flower that big on her head. Its a reminder of just how little and fragile, in so many ways, that they are. The problem I had is like I said she wouldnt keep them in but then when I took her out people told me I was just to lazy to do it. I have to laugh cause yeah Im too lazy to put a bow back in 14 hundred times a day. Rock the flowers and bows while you can.

Lauren - posted on 04/20/2010

109

11

12

Carolee (what a beautiful name by the way) She is from Michigan and when she told me that its just a "southern thing" I said "hmm thats interesting, I had no idea that moms that wanted their baby girls to look cute only lived in the south". She then went on to tell me about her sister (who just had a baby girl in Dec) would never put a bow on her baby because its just "trashy" and that moms that put bows on their babies are only saying that their babies aren't beautiful just the way they are. What a line of CRAP!!
I wanted to reach through the phone and slap her. The audacity of some people. Seriously???

Lauren - posted on 04/20/2010

109

11

12

Amanda- I would love it if she would keep her remarks to herself but she feels the need to post it on fb where everyone can read what a witch she is. It infuriates me. I have told her numerous times that she raised her kids now let me raise mine. But she doesn't care, she's just that way.

Carolee - posted on 04/20/2010

21,950

17

567

Is she from Canada? People put bows on their babies heads in Michigan (where I grew up)... but half the time the bows are on hats because it's so cold most of the year. There are lots of babies with bows on their heads here in Indiana, too.

Ashley - posted on 04/20/2010

368

59

26

I have a little boy, so no bows for me. But I think they are just too stinking adorable! Lol. If I had a little girl, she would have bookoos of bows! A bow for every outfit! One for every day of the week! Bows of every shape & color! Lol.

You are the parent, and you call the shots. If you want your child to wear bows, then so be it! If gma can't say anything nice on your pics, then maybe she needs to delete herself from your fb! :o) Dnt let nobody get you down!

(P.S. I'm from NC!)

Sara - posted on 04/20/2010

11

10

2

My daughter never kept them on. If she does then by all means do it they are adorable. And west coast people do it, Canadians do it, Spanish, I know many other people around the world do it. Its one way to tell they are a girl. Your mil sounds like a witch and is jealous they didnt have them back in her day lol. Also the size of the bow is dependent on the size of her head. Small head is better with medium sized, at most, bows. They are cute little packages, wrap em up.

Kelly - posted on 04/20/2010

2

5

0

I would put bows and barrettes in my girls hair but I didn't like those headband things. My girls are big now and I still don't like them. My girls also had a head full of hair though.

Amanda - posted on 04/20/2010

218

8

24

I try but my daughter has always hated things in her hair, it's a fight to get a hat on her. If you think that it's cute, it's your baby, keep putting them on her. Tell your MIL that what you do with your baby is your choice and you would appreciate it if she kept her remarks to herself.

[deleted account]

my daughter was born with a headful of hair, and it never fell out. i didnt put bows on her when she was smaller, because she would pull at them and rub her head until she got them off every time i tried to put them on her. and im from canada and i tried! so no i dont think its a "southern" thing. but now that shes older (shes 10 months) and her hair has grown even more, it gets in her eyes, so i put a clip in it, or pigtails, or pebbles-type ponytail in it. i love doing her hair, but she hates it! lol

Betty - posted on 04/20/2010

186

23

24

Hi Jessica, you're so lucky, I wish I knew someone that has a children's boutique. I love girly stuff and I do the matching thing too. I have matching Tutus and Bloomers for my little girl and pretty much her entire wardrobe is different shades of pink.



My little girl even has pink satin mary janes to match her outfits and she doesn't even need shoes since she can't walk yet.



As I said, girls should be girls. I'm glad I have a girl so I get to play dress ups all the time. It's hard with boys.

Jessica - posted on 04/20/2010

223

1

34

Girl, tell your MIL to shove it. My 10 mo old is a baldy. Up until recently she always had a bow! We put them on the netted stretchy bands. She has bands and bows of every color. My sister has a children's boutique. The only reason why I don't put them on her now, is that she wont keep them on anymore! stinker! It's your daughter, do what you want! =) Everyone I know uses bows. North and South. I'm from TN, but my husband is from Ohio and all his cousins wear bows too!
Girl has to accessorize! Raise her right, lol! My daughter had burpcloths, socks, and bows that all matched with the same ribbon. And of course they matched the outfit she had on. Like I said... my sister is a boutique owner, lol!

Betty - posted on 04/20/2010

186

23

24

I put bows in on my baby girl all the time, she's a little girl and I love dressing her up very girly. I even tie her hair up in little pig tails. I love it. I have all different coloured and size bows. I think it makes them look very cute. All my friends and the daycare girls loves it. Even my daycare girls dresses up my daughter and play with her hair all the time. This is what girls do.



And I know my daughter loves it too. She knows that mummy dresses her up and making her all pretty and girly and smiles every morning after I dress her all up.



There's nothing worng with it. I think you should just ignore your MIL. Who cares what she says. My MIL always tells me what to do and I just ignore. LoL.

Heather - posted on 04/20/2010

7

10

1

my daughter had little hair when she was born. i use to buy the cloth baby head bands to put on her. they had little bows on them and came in pretty colors. even though i had them on her people still thought she was a boy lol. its your daughter and your mom so you do what you think is best for her.

Brean - posted on 04/20/2010

173

34

13

I put HUGE bows on my daughter. my MIL also thinks their "ridiculous," but I have told her, "well my grandma loved bows on babies, so oh well." (my grandma was buried the day before we found out we were pregnant) I think it is completely up to you and most people love to see a baby with a cute bow. and I'm from South Texas.

Melissa - posted on 04/20/2010

160

25

21

My daughter is also completely bald and people are always asking me if she is a girl or boy no matter how much pink she wears. I always make sure she has a bow. I actually started making them. I bought a headband and now I just interchange the bows on it. I love making bows to match all of her outfits. I would be very frustrated if anyone said that about me putting bows on my daughter. What she said is extremely rude. I live in St. Louis, MO so I don't think it's a southern thing. She is a girl and girls are supposed to be girlie. I can't wait til my daughter does get hair so I can put it in ponytails and stuff. Good luck with your MIL, keep using bows.

Dana - posted on 04/20/2010

124

38

12

I put bows on my daughters, but keep them pretty small for the most part. The truth is, she's you kid and you can dress her however you want! If you think it's cute, then it's cute. I've put plenty of 'cute' thing from my MIL in yard sales :)

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms