hard being a young mom and housewife

Samantha Lee - posted on 10/07/2009

Quoting Kristi:

Yes It's very hard, my son is almost 10 months old,I can't drive and my husband works 40 hrs and goes to school 20 hrs..So on top of having to keep the baby happy, the house clean, I've got to keep him in order which i am finding difficult especally when he likes to throw the I make the money what do you do all day line in my face ..when I have to remind him that this is what HE wanted...he does not do it all the time..just when it is crunch time at school and it's critical week at work..that is the worst.. But i rely on god knowing that the path we are on is the one he wants for my family. I also agree with the post above mine..it is also important to get time together even if it is only a few hrs alone and a family member or someone to watch the baby for you. I find taking a bubble bath when my son is napping relaxing..or sometimes I even take him in the bathroom and we watch a movie..that is my escape..the bathroom lol.

My son is only 5 mos old, and my bf works 4 days a week away from home. He can't drive, so I drive him to work on Weds, then he comes home early Sunday morning with a co worker. I usually come home on Friday. He is always throwing the "I bring home the bacon, you need to fry it in the pan." line in my face. I admit, I'm not as crazy about doing housework as I was when I was pregnant, but I didn't have a baby who always wanted my attention then, either. It doesn't help when the bf comes home, doesn't want to do a thing on Sundays... but 'relax' so when I don't clean up after every little thing he does, I'm lazy. Oh goodness. It can be so frustrating, and being so darn tired lately, it doesn't help. Doctor said I need 'me' time... so I'm going to make it a point to hang out with friends at least once a week :)

Mary Ellen - posted on 10/07/2009

i have a 9 month old, babysit 2 and 4 year old girls, do bookkeeping and am starting a non profit organization along with other church duties and house hold chores. my biggest piece of advice is DON'T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF, and ALWAYS REMEMBER YOUR MAN IS YOUR PARTNER LET HIM HELP OUT A BIT

Helen - posted on 10/07/2009

grabbing a sneaky 10 min to myself keeps me sain - i sometimes even pretend we have run out of milk and send baby with daddy to the shop. i also teach full time and work every saturday in my husbands shop. he works nearly 100 hours a week from 5am until 9pm 7 days a week so he cant help even though he wants to. i find getting up an hour early helps as i can do so much more housework in my son is not trying to help

Desiree - posted on 10/07/2009

I am 24 and have my third baby on the way next month. I was married and had my first at 17. It is hard to be married working and a mom, especially if you are low on money and pregnant. Everyone wants your attention all at the same time. in my house the kids come first and daddy and the house are tied for second. It just depends on which of the two has been neglected longer. If I have no clean dishes then obviously that has to come before spending time with daddy. it's an every other day job if not everyday. just depends on how much we eat day to day. having a clean house is not the most important thing in a family. spending time with each other is. So if you have a love seat full of clean clothes that you never have time to fold becasue you have to get your husband and 6 year old ready for school at 6 in the morning and then chase a 4 year old around the house the days you are not a work, who cares! it's only a couch and atleast they are clean clothes. They can wait a day or too. and if any one says anything to you tell tham that if they think your house is so dirty they can either help you clean it or not come over.

Lynn - posted on 10/07/2009

OH LORD YES! I ALMOST LOSE MY MIND EVERY DAY. I GET MORE STRESSED WITH MY HUSBAND THAN I DO MY 14 MONTH OLD DAUGHTER. SOMETIMES I QUESTION WHO IS MORE MATURE BETWEEN THE TWO HAHA! I GUESS I JUST DEAL WITH IT, I DONT LIKE CONFRONTATION OR CHANGE. GUESS IM KINDA WEIRD. AS LONG AS EVERYONE ELSE IS HAPPY I KINDA JUST KEEP TO MYSELF. DONT WANT TO STIR THE POT!

Brandy - posted on 10/07/2009

I know exactly how you feel. I have a 17 month old daughter, I am 6 months pregnant, my husband works about 70 hours a week running his own company and I do all the bookkeeping and answer phones and do banking plus I try to keep my house clean. And I'm only 22 years old. The kids always come first for me, which can make everything else harder because I get behind on the books and people are mad at me, I forget to go to the bank and people are mad at me and I get behind on the house and I end up awake until midnight trying to make it livable because I use to be a really big clean freak before I had kids and now I have trouble even getting it clean. My husband is very supportive and helpful and that really helps me. If he gets a day off, he will usually have the dishes done and the laundry in the washer before I wake up and I love him for it. You just need to make a mental list of priorities and follow it. Know what comes first to you and make your husband understand that too. Let him know you are trying your best and for him to try and be patient until you figure everything out.

Brittany - posted on 10/07/2009

it is very hard. I just went back to school and August i am always drained now from trying to keep the house clean, taking care of my 1 yr old son, making sure my boyfriend has clean close and food (lol) and making sure i did my homework and studied!! Nap time is my favorite time i get two hours to myself!!

Jackie - posted on 10/07/2009

Quoting Cassie:

Quoting Kristi:

Yes It's very hard, my son is almost 10 months old,I can't drive and my husband works 40 hrs and goes to school 20 hrs..So on top of having to keep the baby happy, the house clean, I've got to keep him in order which i am finding difficult especally when he likes to throw the I make the money what do you do all day line in my face ..when I have to remind him that this is what HE wanted...he does not do it all the time..just when it is crunch time at school and it's critical week at work..that is the worst.. But i rely on god knowing that the path we are on is the one he wants for my family. I also agree with the post above mine..it is also important to get time together even if it is only a few hrs alone and a family member or someone to watch the baby for you. I find taking a bubble bath when my son is napping relaxing..or sometimes I even take him in the bathroom and we watch a movie..that is my escape..the bathroom lol.

 

I get this ALL THE TIME! "especally when he likes to throw the I make the money what do you do all day line in my face" My husband has two jobs, works around 70 hours a week and has two college classes a week. Yet I am cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, taking care of my daughter and making sure my husband gets food, wakes up on time, have the house quiet when my husband sleeps. It's all very hard keeping my husband and daughter an dhouse together and to have my husband say to me "I work all the time and you just sit around the house all day." ARE YOU SERIOUS! This starts a lot of fights in my house. How do you deal with it?  What do you say to your husband when he throws that in your face?

OH MY!!! Get this ... I deal with same comments and I HAVE A FULL TIME JOB! My day consists of waking up, showering, taking my 8 month old to the sitter, working, come home, clean, do laundry, dishes, ect, cook dinner THEN feed the baby, bathe her, play a lil, put her to bed and it's a never ending cycle. But because he is the main bread winner, he feels that he doesn't have to do anythng else and he can be so disrespectful at times too. NOW, I rambling.

We have many fights in our household too. On top of this I have to live with the feeling that someone else is raising my child. It burns me up!!! MEN cant live with em, but can't shoot em either.

Alexandria - posted on 10/07/2009

You know what helped me. Going back to school. It helped me escape the house a lil, gave me extra money from grants, I only work part time so it didn't affect my job, and it just made me feel good. The husband had nothing else to do but watch the kids while i went so it gave me more time for myself and i didnt feel guilt after because it was to better all of our lives.

Stephanie - posted on 10/07/2009

Well I know what you are going through. My husband works 40 hours a week and so do I. Half the time he is out of town so then I really have to do everything. Oh did I mention that I am also 8 months pregnant with my 2nd child. So between being a full time mom, full time wife, full time employee and being pregnant it is so hard. But when I get those little giggles & smiles from my little girl and says mommy it makes it all worth it. I think that is why god gave women the more important roll in life. He knows we will find a way to get it done.

Maggie - posted on 10/07/2009

i am 25 and a 24/7 per week 365 day a year stay at home mom and housewife with a two year old and one on the way. i have a hard enough time trying to balance anything so i can just imagine if i had to through in a job to. i would make sure that everyone is home for supper and eats as a family. after supper i would suggest that you take some family time, go to the park, play around the house, or whatever. after the little one is in bed is time for adult time, whatever that happens to be. one thing, don't plan your sex life cause that never works. keep it spontaneous and interesting. currently i have no sex drive with this new baby and let me tell you it is hard to even get the energy to just lay there and let him do whatever, but sometimes needs to be done.

you guys will make it through. just take it one day at a time and make sure to leave the communication lines open. you will be fine :) good luck!

Jessica - posted on 10/07/2009

No matter what you do working, studying or being a SAHM is all hard work! Ive been a full time Mummy to a 16 month old and looking after the house and also my partner. He gets tired after work but does what he can to help. Ive now finally decided to put myself first and enrol full-time for a course next year,,,that will be my next challange!

Erika - posted on 10/07/2009

Quoting Jessica:

Yeah it's tough...you feel like you do EVERYTHING & he does nothing?! At least that's where I am...lol! Maybe try calmly talking to him & telling him you're feeling overwhelmed w/ everything. Maybe he'll give you a break & watch the kiddo while you have a girls day...mine won;t do that for me b/c I'm still nursing & yeah, he doesn't want to deal w/ a screaming baby...it ALWAYS comes back to me nursing him, it's so annoying & frustrating!! It's like just b/c I have boobs I'm supposed to never need time off. I take my son to work w/ me, I only work about 4 hrs/day but still, I never get "me time"....not that I don't adore my son, but it'd be nice to have a break....
Oh, I totally get the similar line of not doing anything. Even though I feed him & our son, the laundry, the dishes, the cleaning...all he does is work part-time, take care of the cat boxes & trash & he doesn't do either as often as he needs to. Before he got his job he stayed home ALL day playing video games & I was finishing my degree & taking our son to school with me!! I tried having him take care of our son one time when I went to school, he had him for 8 hrs b/c I ran some errand after class. You know what he told me, that he couldn't get anything done b/c he was taking care of the baby!! SO I was like, how do you think I get anything done?!?! Did that give him any appreciation for all that I do??? HELL NO it didn't!!!! SO I had to find a babysitter to watch him while I was in the classes that I couldn't bring my son to, & my mom, thankfully, covered the bill for the babysitter, b/c we couldn't afford it when he wasn't working. I wish we had a GREAT relationship where we could talk, but it seems even when we are just trying to do friendly talk we somehow turn it into a small argument
Sorry for rambling...I don't have any issues at all, LOL!!
I hope the little talk will work on your man! Best of luck!! I'm all ears if you need a vent! It's good to vent!!

Jessica, vent away!!  It is so frustrating, I feel your pain!  I hate video games!.  Having a baby really makes me realize how much more competent women are than men.  Feel empowered and strong knowing you can do it all!  You are amazing and no matter what he does and doesn't do is only a reflection of him.  Ask your mom or a friend to babysit and take some "me time" because that is important, even if it is only and hour or two.  Also, feel like a superstar for breastfeeding your baby and sticking with it...it is NOT easy.  When your baby gets a little older it will get easier but stay positive in the meantime.  You are not alone and you are doing FANTASTIC

Erika - posted on 10/07/2009

oh and as an aside, making lists of the chores or what needs to get done each week and delegating some of it to your man really helps. I hated feeling like a nag everyday about little things and it drove me crazy when my bf went straight to the couch after work so I just made a schedule of things that "as a family" we need to get done and ask that by the end of the week everything gets checked off. I don't care when or how it happens, just that it does and so far it has been working!

Erika - posted on 10/07/2009

Quoting Kelly:

I work 40 hours a week, take my baby to and from daycare, make dinner, clean the house and do all of the laundry. On top of a crazy busy day and 4 month year old I still have to deal with my husband....somehow it always works out....for the love of our babies!! :)

You are so right... for the love of our babies.  I worked a corporate management job 10 hour days before my son was born and always dreamed of the days I could be a SAHM.  I quickly learned that it also entailed House wife duties!  I don't stop all day and since my baby doesn't sleep through the nights most nights too.  My bf seems to be clueless and requires constant direction but also expects bagged lunches, hot dinners, a clean house and a full fridge. They just don't get it.  They think we are home watching soaps all day.   I have been frustrated and beaten down by this major change in my life often wondering if I should go back to work.  However, last week, my employer asked me to return to my job and you know what?  NO MONEY IN THE WORLD REPLACES SPENDING THE LITTLE MOMENTS WITH MY SON.  Exactly as you say... for the love of our babies.  It isn't easy but it is worth it!  And to all of you moms going to school and/or working I give you ALL THE RESPECT in the world. 

Sheree - posted on 10/06/2009

WELL ALOT OF PEOPLE SAY IT IS HARD I GUESS I DONT LOOK AT IT AS THAT ITS HARD ITS JUST LIFE I GUESS.. I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND THER IS SO MANY STORIES BEHIND WHAT I HAVE GONE THRU AND STILL ITS NOT HARD I DONT KNOW WHAT THE WORD IM LOOKN FOR BUT SINCE THE FIRST DAY I HAD MY DAUGHTER I HAVE NOT UNDERSTOOD WHY PEOPLE SAY ITS HARD?... WELL I HAVE A DAUGHTER THAT WILL BE 6 YRS 4 DAYS BEFORE HALLOWEEN AND A 2 YR OLD SON AND I DO HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND I LOVE EVERY MINUTE OF IT! SINCE MY BF CAME AROUND I FEEL BAD CUZ IT FEELS AS IF I AM NOT DOIN AS MUCH AS I SHOULD AND HE DOES DO ALOT FOR JUST BEING A BOYFRIEND! I HAVE RAISED MY 2 KIDZ MYSLEF FOR MOST THER LIVES TIL MY BF CAME INTO MY LIFE AND I WOULD HAVE TO SAY "TRY NOT TO SAY ITS HARD" BECAUSE IT IS SO MUCH EASIER IN A WAY TO HAVE A BOYFRIEND! YEAH THER IS SUM TIMES WHERE U HAVTO DEAL WITH THE COMMITMENT WITH THEM AND RAISE YOUR KID OR KIDS BUT IF THEY ARE HELPFUL THAT IS GREAT BUT IF U R SERIOUSLY HAVING THAT MUCH PROBLEMS WITH SAYING IT IS HARD WITH A CHILD AND A BOYFRIEND THAN HE IS NO HELP AND I GUESS I DONT KNOW WHAT TO SAY BOUT THAT BUT LIFE IS GREAT AND U R DOING A GREAT JOB BECAUSE U R WILLING TO ASK QUESTIONS THAT SHOULD BE ASKD BY A MOTHER THAT IS CONCERNED ABOUT THER FAMILY! KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK!

Kelly - posted on 10/06/2009

I work 40 hours a week, take my baby to and from daycare, make dinner, clean the house and do all of the laundry. On top of a crazy busy day and 4 month year old I still have to deal with my husband....somehow it always works out....for the love of our babies!! :)

Bekki - posted on 10/06/2009

Take it one day at a time and keep yourself busy by keeping your kiddos occupied. I'm a mom to twin boys, they are 14 months old. I have been a stay at home mom while my husband is on travel quite frequently. I keep myself busy by taking trips to the park, playdates with other moms and frequent Target and mall trips when we just need to get out of the house. I finally found a job after searching for 10 months, so, now I'm still going to take it one day at a time and enjoy each moment I have with my children. I love to take pictures of them and it is amazing to look back and see how fast they really do grow up :) Remeber to try to make a date night at least once a month and take lots of family day trips out and about.

Erika - posted on 10/06/2009

I feel you Stephanie. I'm 25, I have a 2 year old son and a 7 month old daughter and my oldest child... my Hubby. J/K We all have those days. We do a lot being SAHM'S. My suggestion is to get some alone time. I get my nails done every couple of weeks to get some alone time and pamper myself. We all need time for ourselves. Message me whenever you'd like to chat.
Erika

Leanne - posted on 10/06/2009

I have 3 children . 8 year old girl, 4year old boy, and 3 year old boy... All I can say is do what u can do:-) If u cant get everything done when society says its to be done its not the end of the world. It DOES get easier!!! My house can actually stay reasonable for longer then 5 mins now:-) The main things are... kids being fed and bathed. If ur hasband see's u r having a hard time he should help u out a bit. My husband was not real good in the house cause he "WORKS" long hrs after the first few years (and many disagreements) he could c i needed a hand. After being a stay at home mum for years I got a full time job... It lasted 4 wks b4 I had a break down, night time work then kids of a day. Stick it out chick by 4 they can actually be helpful to a certain degree:-)

Kimberly - posted on 10/06/2009

I am in the same boat as all you ladies! I have a 4 yr old a 3yr old and 11mth old twins. I work at a group home for kids, and sell Mary Kay cosmetics. I do have a wonderful Husband who would do anything for me! However it is sooooo hard! I can't even get out of the house by myself until like 8pm and then I'm too tired. I guess that's just life......lol and I know God wouldn't give me more than I could handle!

JACQUIE - posted on 10/06/2009

my my my, i feel like i am reading a lot of my life....i have learned to not give a @#^$ about what anyone else says and it seems to me like your family may be taking advantage of you because if u say no they will hold stuff over your head. And for your man, its so funny because he sounds just like mine, but i had to put my foot down and now it is not so bad but i can say that he now does help with the kids and picks up around the house. i dont know you or your family or ur man but i would put your foot down and dont budge...YOU hold that family together, noone else...even though he is the main moneymaker you are the one who cleans, cooks, takes care of the baby, takes care of your families issues....to me, people like you and me are wonderful.....we choose to be good moms and wives and deal with all the crap that family dishes out...i commend you for taking on so much responsibility because alot of girls out there dont. keep your head up, and put your foot down and i dont want to be rude or sound nasty but if your mother ever calls cys on you, i would never speak to her again. you dont seem to me like someone that needs cys called on them, you seem to me like a woman who has too much on her plate and cant get a minute of time for herself. sometimes the house wont be clean, mine isnt all the time...sometimes i dont feel like it...sometimes you skip bath time for the kids....oh well, its your child, but you seem like a good girl so keep your head up and if you ever need to talk, you can talk to me. good luck and keep the good work up.

Brittany - posted on 10/06/2009

I have a 3 week old daughter which i know i am new the the game, but i am finding it aggrevating and difficult to do all the house work, take care of the baby and then when her father gets home from work he just wants to sleep and watch tv and not help with the baby, and when he is off on the weekends he leaves us at home all day and goes and does what he wants. I've addressed this several times and nothing gets done, he suggested getting a babysitter this weekend so we can go do something, but i dont want to get a babysitter i just want him to help me!

Carina - posted on 10/06/2009

yes i know what you mean. i am 23 and have been a stay at home mom for 3 years now. its hard not being able to go out and have fun like people our age should be. i have recently been applying for part time jobs, the hardest part is trusting someone you don't really know to watch your kids so that is going to be the hardest part for me. i wish i could just stay home with them till they are in school but i think that i would be grey by then.

JACQUIE - posted on 10/06/2009

I am 28 and married with 3 boys and yes it is hard!!!! I am a stay at home mom. I am always doing something, i never sit down until it is time to go to bed. You kinda just got to deal with it. One is not too bad, i used to think it was until i had more. You really just have to create a routine and stick with it, that is what i try to do

Christa - posted on 10/06/2009

I absolutely agree that it is difficult, and you are not alone. Being a mom is hard, having a bf or husband is also hard, having a job can be hard... but you put that all together and you might as well be wearing a superhero cape too. I have a 3 month old son, a husband of 1 year (tomorrow is our anniversary!) and a job that I work once a week just for some extra change. Financially things are stressful. My husband works 11 hours a day, really weird hours, and so most of the day I'm home with my lil boo by myself. It can get very lonely, and very difficult to do anything else other then hold a fussy infant. Men just don't understand, and they never will. My husband is a good man, provides for his family, spends as much time as he can with us, but it never fails that the stress of our financial situation, the fact that our closest family lives 3 1/2 hours away, so we have no help or babysitters for alone time, and the fact that my husband is gone at work ALL the time always leads to some kind of argument. For the 95% of us who don't have enough money in this crazy economy, all we can do is make the best of the situation at hand. Put as much love as you possibly can into your little one(s) and try to do one sweet thing for your partner a day. (I try a quick back rub, or ear rub right after I lay the baby down to go to sleep. Also, we always shower together which is great for some quick alone time where you can get in some necessary hugs and kisses). When you do for them, if you have a good man, he will do back for you, and that's what keeps the love alive. Even with the arguments! Take a deep breath and realize most of us are in the same situation, and that's what we are here for, to listen and encourage!

Nicole - posted on 10/06/2009

And if you can't afford preschool, you'll just have to wait until they are 5-6 years of age to get that time.

Kristin - posted on 10/06/2009

i definetly understand where you coming from! i have been a mommy and a wifey since i was 19!! It was really hard when my 2 kids were little and i was working full time and so was my husband! It's gets so frustrating sometimes ecspecially when you see all the people your age having no responsiblities and getting to do things that you wish you were able to do! I don't regret having my children but it gets really tough sometimes! Now that they have gotten older and more independent it helps some but it can still be stressful! Just try to hang in there! it will get easier down the rode once your little one starts preschool and you have some down time for yourself to be able to do what you want...i know it seems far away but it goes quicker then what you think just try to enjoy the little moments that won't last long :)

Maribheen - posted on 10/06/2009

you mommas be thankful, at least u have your man beside u. in my case, I take care of the kids and then my husband is away. he is a seaman and only goes home after 6 months. me, alone with the kids and the loads of house work. but still i know that one day my kids will grow up and i'm going to miss this part of my life. that's why i savour every moment with them.

Nicole - posted on 10/06/2009

You know, everyone is saying just speak your mind, explain it calmly when the "I work all day what do you do" line comes into play.Except I get it all the time. Not only from my husband, but from my mother, my stepfather, some of my friends and ven my sisters who are 7 and 9!! My house is never clean enough for my mother ( who loves to just drop in whenever since - Im home all the time!..her words) and my sisters that I pick up from school ( they go to a private school across from where I live) and help with homework five days a week make the place twice as messy as my son and they never clean it before they leave. Their father ( my step dad) wont let them because he's always in a hurry to leave. Then I have maybe an hour to clean the house and get dinner started before my husband comes home.....



I get that line about five times a week from them. I get no help around the house or otherwise, but am expected to help my mother out so she doesnt have to pay for after school care. I am a good mother, but my own mother threatens to take him from me via court ( its really easy to get a child taken from you in this state. I've seen kids removed for amost nothing..like not getting a full 8hr sleep at night).



So what do you do when you have all of that to deal with plus the house and taking care of an almost two year old that is too damn smart for his own age. (literally, not exaggerating), plus pets and the chores that go with them everyday and everything else? I go crazy. I dont get time alone until after nine o clock and even then my husband wants this or that done or me to go get him something from the store...w/e... I also hve topack his lunch for work...his veiw is that if it isnt packed and ready in the fridge, he can go spend money out to eat during his hour lunch break since its all HIS money anyway...I cant remember the last time I got something new for myself that wasn't a nescessity like deoderant, shampoo, pads/tampons, or a new toothbrush. However, he can get what he wants from the store ( we all go together to the store because he thinks I'll spend too much), and I can get the baby anything he needs/wants/likes as well.



Maybe I should have been a doctor since I'm "on call" all the time no matter what. I have to make sure hes up in time to get to work on time or else he's late and gets his pay docked, which ends up being my fault, I have to make sure his work clothes are washed and dried everyday as well. And then every saturday, I have to make sur his church clothes are acceptable for the next day. And if they aren't I have to fix it or we dont go ( and since its the only time i get out of the house other than going to the store... i want to go, even if I dont agree with going).



So, again, I ask, what do you do with such demands place upon you?How do I get them to all listen and HEAR me and accept what I' saying without getting a "its not hard" or "you just complain, if you dont like doing your job as a mother you can leave" or "You're fat because you dont excerise," or "I wish you looked as carefree and skinny as when we met"....?!?????



I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO MAKE AN EFFORT TO MY HEALTH!! I had a miscarriage back in April due to my health problems.. talk about major guilt trip there. ( not to mention a bad birthing expeirence. I was also almost six months along) and hae yet to try and get myself back on track because I dont have the time. ood luck to all thosethat have understanding partners or family. I envy you.

Theresa - posted on 10/06/2009

I swear i feel i'm going to loose it one of these days, I do not work outside the home but i have 4 kids and between feeding them, changing them, bathing them, keeping them happy, driving to and from 2 different schools and all else that comes along with being a mom and wife i think I'm gonna go insane... I flat out told mt husband who work a 40 hour work week that i can't do it by myself that i'm no super woman, and he still doesn't help with house chores... he expects me to do all the cleaning in the house and take care of all the bills...and in other words be a stepford wife..
It drives me nuts and has been the ongoing reason we fight..lately all the time
I don't know what else to do to make him understand :-(

Sheila - posted on 10/06/2009

Thats good!!! It may be he hard & stressful, but you have your husband and your child that love you very much, and you love them in return. You just have to mediate some time for yourself so that you dont blow up!!!!

Esmeralda - posted on 10/06/2009

Quoting Sheila:

Try being single, working from home & doing school online, with a 2 yr old and NO man.....because then you start to MISS the man that WAS in your life. Dont take your man for granted, or complain because once hes gone, youll miss the hell out of him. I pissed and moaned about my life when I was a stay at home mom, and a "housewife" and now..I miss it.

im sorry,hun. ::hugs::

not one day do i take my husband for granted. hes an amazing man. i dont know what id do without him.

Sheila - posted on 10/06/2009

Try being single, working from home & doing school online, with a 2 yr old and NO man.....because then you start to MISS the man that WAS in your life. Dont take your man for granted, or complain because once hes gone, youll miss the hell out of him. I pissed and moaned about my life when I was a stay at home mom, and a "housewife" and now..I miss it.

Taylor - posted on 10/06/2009

Hi, i'm taylor. I am 21 years old and i have a beautiful and wonderful 1year old son named christopher. I work full time, go to college full time, take care of the entire house, cook dinner 7days aweek, and deal with my fiancee matt.(who is like a 2nd child). It does get very hard and theres been times where I just want to give up, but i know i cant. I think its hard for all moms no matter are ages, single, or with someone. We get stressed. We want me time too and never get it to their 18th birthday. Of course its the greatest job in the world and would never give it up for anything. BUt late at night after the baby and hubby is done. I use that as me time, i read or just wacth a movie. And also u can talk to me if you need a friend. My email is Mattandtaylor2@yahoo,com. If you ever need a friendly person to talk to i'm here

Jessica - posted on 10/06/2009

You learn to deal.



I am 24... Have a now 3yr old girl, and a baby on the way. I teach two days a week, do everything around the house, and in April this year started my own business. I also have to 'deal' with my man, and his two stepsons on a regular basis.



I think, the key is DONT STRESS... and remember that having a sparkling clean house all the time, wont matter when you are dead! So, lighten up on the house duties- and focus on keeping your child, yourself and your hubby happy!

Becki - posted on 10/05/2009

I share your frusration. I am a stay at home mother of 2--a 2yr old and a 3 mo old and it's so hard to find the time to have the energy to do anything with my husband. My husband works 3rd shift and it's extremly hard to stay connected but we always eat our 1 meal together and talk about us whatever it maybe. on the weekends if he isn't working we have family time--whether it's going to the park, outside or staying in we do play together. Then we have "our" time when after our 2 yr old goes to bed or nap--cuddle, help each other clean up or watch a movie before he goes to work. When I need to get out of the house he watches the girls---whether it's to the grocery story or doing other errands. it's not much but i am recharged afterwards.

Christina - posted on 10/05/2009

You just learn to deal with it because being a mom makes you no matter what you know you have to do it for that wonderful child. If the man is more of a chore than the child then he needs to go otherwise he needs to deal with it with you! It sucks to have to go to work and be away from the baby but ya just gotta. I spend as much time as possible with my kids so I do not feel so bad when I have to work.

Rebecca - posted on 10/05/2009

i hate when my husband uses the term "babysit"!! It drives me nuts!! IT'S CALLED PARENTING!!! GRRRRR. I have to say though in all fairness i am able to get out to go to the gym 2-3 night s a week but only after our son is put to bed and i feed the baby...heaven forbid he actually have to feed her while i'm gone *rolls eyes* I have zero friends in m area also who want to hang out with me and i'm not 100% why. I am very strong opinionated but me and my friends would always have great conversations about everything and we would all listen to eachothers opinions...i think maybe becasue they are all happily married they are sick of me hearing about how mine never does anything and says he had a hard day at work so he should relax...i'm sorry but that isn't gonna fly now. In my home on a day to day basis i have my 2 year old son and my 3 month old daughter then i watch a15 month old girl a 2 year old boy a 4 year old girl and 2 9 year olds afterschool so we can have some extra income. I don't care what he says but my day is by far more hard then his in the military surfing the internet all day because they have nothing to do for the afternoon! oh men...it would just be easier to be a lesbian i think! at least she would understand me lol

Julie - posted on 10/05/2009

I totally agree with you Rebecca (the previous writer) I think that most men do not help out much with housework or children.. Some men do, especially if both parents are working full time, but many men still have the mentality of the way things were 50 years ago. Not so long ago I had a young daughter, and I was a full time nursing student, and also held down a part time job.. My husband would "have to stay home and babysit" most of the days that I had class. It was like such a chore for him and such an inconvience for him..Not to mention that when I came home the house was a total disaster. I mean he couldnt even put his dirty dishes in the sink.. Dishes and soda cans along with wrappers would be wherever he decided to leave them..Then I got pregnant with my second child.. Thank Goodness I only had like 4 months left of school. SInce then I have had my second child, and am a part time nurse. I stay home to care for the family and house as much as possible.. BUt I still think it is healthy to get away from the house at least once in awhile.

Ashley - posted on 10/05/2009

I know how you feel!! I'm 20 years old and my son is 13months old!! My husband is also in the Army and he works about 16 hours a day and he deploys every 2 years, he was actually deployed when our son was born :( I have no family here cause we live 72 hours away from family and none of my friends here are up for babysitting a 13month old cause they are all single !! It gets frustrating but you just have to deal with it and take it day by day!! My husband hardly understands how hard it is and he usually tells me I have it easy and it just turns into a huge arguments..so I've just learned to deal with it!!

Rebecca - posted on 10/05/2009

After my son was born i went back to work out of home and my husband took all the parental leave. My son was 6 weeks old when i returned full time to my job. My husband, needless to say, didn't do much around the house during the day but play video games and not really get active with our son which i believe in turn slowed down his development. I had the opportunity to buy the business where i worked when my son was 6 months old but decided to manage until i knew i wanted it and then at 10 months i knew i wanted it. So i started working looooong hours...i mean 14 hour days at my job to make more money...which i regret becuase it was time i could have spent with our son. By this point my husband had gone back to work but as an owner of my business he was allowed to come and visit with my son and help me around the store if i needed a hand. 2 months after buying, i got pregnant again and was shocked! I sold the store 5 months later and decided to be a stay at home mom and take in a few kids. My husband still not helping around the house and always being gone now for work as he is in the military it became very difficult to be pregnant and raise a toddler. I found it to be one of the most difficult things i ever had to do but so glad i am now home with my son all the time. His development has gone full speed and we now have a healthy 3 month old daughter and our son just turned 2:) My husband took 12 weeks off for parental after she was born to help me adjust but in all honesty it was more like a vacation for him becuase he still didn't get up for ANY feedings and in the morning when our son would wake up it was me who got up after being up all night with the baby. I started taking back in kids to babysit when my daughter was almost 2 months old and my husband would still sleep until 11am most days...one day it was 1pm and he only got up becasue i told him the garbage truck was coming and he needed to get the garbage out! In short i guess my husband has turned out to be like another child. Why are so many men like this and not help out the wives??? Today was my husbands first day back to work after 12 weeks off and he had a hard time getting up lol. He has said that now that he sees what i do all day at home with the kids he will help more but i'm not keeping my fingers crossed lol...sorry for the ranting but this felt good tog et out!

Alana - posted on 10/05/2009

I've been there, and what worse sometimes your husband just doesn't understand. Your pulling double duty taking care of your family and work. Its can be very overwhelming. Just know that we are all their with you!

Stephanie - posted on 10/05/2009

YES with a job its hard. If you can afford to stay home then quit your job, you can always go back when the child gets in school. I have tried to work and be a full time employee, wife, mother and maid and it dont work. So my plan is to go back to school in the next year or so, to be a teacher or work at a daycare, that way Im at school when he is at schoo and home when he is home. I dont like other people raising my child because when other people watch him for a day he comes home mean as a snake.

Julie - posted on 10/05/2009

I totally understand what you are saying. I often feel overwhelmed too. I am home with my two children all day long. My daughter is almost 3 years and my son is 10 months. My husband works a lot and rarely has any time or energy to help with the kids or the housework.. I work only 2 days every two weeks. I think i might try to work a little bit more just to get a break and some time away from the house. I also want to reccomend getting together with other moms for playdates. It is great for the children and aslo very theraputic for the mothers involved.

Jennifer - posted on 10/05/2009

I thought I was the only one that felt like I couldn't handle staying in the house all day with my 8 month old. I just talked to my hubby andhe does anything I ask. He lets me go out by myself.

Anna - posted on 10/05/2009

You are not alone! I have two beautiful girls(3 and 6), a great husband, and a part-time job. Somehow I manage to work, take care of the household needs, homeschool my oldest, ect...That's the amazing part, no matter how challenging our days get we get through them.

Alison - posted on 10/05/2009

I am a stay at home mom and wife too, I have 2 girls a 3 1/2 year old and a 1 1/2 year old and I attend school. It gets very hard and very stressful, but I ask my hubby for me time to help give me a break. I also will ask my mom to watch the kids to just a have some time to myself. Ask for help from ur man or a friend, dont just worry and stress by yourself

Laura - posted on 10/05/2009

yes it is very hard, but help IS out there. look around for different toddler or mums support groups. your health visitor should have details. no matter how hard you find it difficult to go to these places do go!! you will find that you will meet other people similar to you, people who have been through the stages you will no doubt have to experience and can get valued friendship and support - not judgement. I help run a local group as when I had the birth of my first child I too found it difficult to cope, and found that the love and support from other mums helped me be more confident and ultimately a better mother. it also allowed us to set up a network of babysitters, enabling us to go out as a group, sharing the childcare costs or each babysitting for each other in turns. message me if you are feeling low and just want some support, or just want a chat.

Amanda - posted on 10/05/2009

i have a four month old daughter a 4 year old step daughter(who we are trying to get full custody of) a fiancee and a full time job. i work 40 hours a week i have my daughter every chance i can get and we have the four year old 4- 5 days a week...the 4 year old is having a birthday at the end of the month and im trying to plan my wedding...its all very difficult...especially when my fiancee gets into his drunken mode and is an ass..but hey things are gettin easier...i consentrate on the good and try to over look the bad and its gettin me through sanley