Harnesses! Yes or No??

Carla - posted on 11/19/2010

People who are giving you dirty looks, obviously never tried to wrangle a cheeky 3 year old! The harness is the only way I kept my daughter safe when we went to the mall, it was either that or strap her in the stroller because she'd disappear in 2 mins flat!

Rebecca - posted on 11/18/2010

Truth is, you cannot always hold your child's hand...all it takes is a fraction of a second for them to disappear from sight! We have already discussed getting a harness for our daughter because she screams at the top of her lungs whenever we put her in a cart but we cannot chase her everywhere we go. Bottom line for us: there are WAY too many creeps out there who are just waiting for a child to run out of their parents sight for a second to snatch them up. Even the best parents lose sight of their child at times.
People with the attitude that you should be able to control your child probably never had kids, or at least didn't have kids who were strong willed and independent (like my daughter!). Until my daughter is able to understand why she needs to stay with us and the consequences of her running off, we will definitely be using a harness. Her safety is the most important thing to us, not the judgments of strangers.

Erica - posted on 11/18/2010

I would personally never put my son on a leash. He is 19 months old and like all toddlers he occasionally likes to try and run off but I am trying to teach him not to and don't feel like I could do that properly with him on a leash. But if you are doing it for pure safety reasons than I say go ahead. As for the dirty looks ignore them. It's nobodies business in how you raise your kids. You are trying to protect your daughter and that is more important than their opinions and mine.

Laura - posted on 11/17/2010

i think there is nothing wrong what so ever with having a harness for your child. i have one for my little boy who is nearly 2 but to be honest i never use it, luckily he wont move unless he holds my hand. but when he first started walking in public i did use the harness. i still take it with me everywhere i go as we all no kids can always play up when you least expect it. in all honesty i think its silly if you dont have one with you as it may get too difficult for you if you dont have one. so corryne for all those people who give you the dirty looks just ignore them i know its easier said than done but if thats what makes you feel more safe about your child then so be it. :D keep your chin up chick

Karen - posted on 11/17/2010

I don't understand why people say the "they are not dogs" line when its not even the same thing. I have also heard "just control your kid" too but those people have clearly never experienced the heart stopping feeling of when a child wanders out of sight.
Every child behaves differently. Some mothers have their hands full more than others. For whatever reason, if they feel they need to use a leash for their child because they feel safer, then why should anyone judge?
I remember getting lost at the fair when I was 4. I just walked away from my dad. I don't remember why I just started walking, but I do remember being scared. A police officer found me by myself and brought me back to him. I remember his face very well. We went home right away. I bet you if they had them back then, I would of been leashed.

Colleen - posted on 11/17/2010

I have 3 boys and I used them religiously, they are the greatest things in the world. I had a man come up to me and say something nasty to me about using them , I told him I would rather use them then not so I could keep them with me and not have to chase them around in the stores and some pervert try to take them on me, I would use them again too in a heart beat, around here the pre-schooles even use them when they take the groups of children out. I even used them when I was out walking and attached a leash around my waste so I could have my hands free to push my stroler, I had used them till my kids were 4. Use them proudly and know that you are doing it for the safty of your kids.

Kathryn - posted on 11/17/2010

Use it if you need to have something to keep her safe. But much like people that use long leashes on thier pets, they can sometimes be more of a danger then them running loose. Make sure they don't get too far away from you (an example, I was at a farmers market and a woman had her 3 year old on a harness but the kid was 5 feet away from mom...in a crowd! Someone could have walked right in between them and could have caused injury to all parties!). YOU are the parent. YOU make the decisions that are the best for you and your child. Ignore everyone else.

Morgana-lafay - posted on 11/17/2010

i love them my daugheter is 4 and i still occatinally ise it when she isent staying close then shes suppose to this way i know shes safe and it reminds her of the rules with out being harch

Kylie - posted on 11/17/2010

i have only one child, who is nearly 2, and he knows about not running away etc. but he still does some times. I am having my second in may, i know that if he were to run while i was with the baby too i'd have a hard time to catch him. i totally get why parent with 2 or more small children use them. I don't really like them, and don't get why a parent out with one child needs one, but if you have a runner and another small child it would be so much better for your piece of mind to have one. those people that stare just don't get it.

Jessica - posted on 11/16/2010

i have a 4yr old and a 1yr old and when my 4yr old was a baby, i would look down on people that used these on their toddlers bc to me it seemed that they did it because they couldnt keep controll of their kid, it also looked like they were treating their child more like an animal than a human being. HOWEVER! when my kids start trying to escape and run away at the store or any public event we may be at, i understand why people use them. they're kids and want to explore and see whats going on and dont really realize the danger of things. so all in all, i was was opposed to them, but now im for them. unfortunately, i dont have one for my kids though...

Kera - posted on 11/16/2010

hey there i have 2 kids and one on the way i have gotten my son the harness about a year ago and i love it i used it strictly for training first i would use it and when he would stop fighting me and fallow i would then praise him and talk to him saying this is what i expect from you i would tell him how proud i am of him and after awhile i would take it off if he stayed by me it stays off the second he ran i would put it back on i did this every time for 6 months and i dont need it now i hated the looks but the more i used it the more parints came to me and told me it was ok they used it and not to worry about meanie heads your child's safety is ssooo much more important i hope this helps

Shana - posted on 11/16/2010

i 100% agree with Stevie Innes (first comment)...i thought they where for dogs til i was blessed with 3 kids under 4!! My eldest son thought for a looooooong time stranger danger really meant once he told you his name and life story (he is a bit of a have-a-chat) everything was ok so the harness was perfect....back then he had to put up with the ugly verison but i have bought my youngest son the cute backpack version so as I get bigger with number 5 there is no chasing games!!

Rose - posted on 11/16/2010

I have the same problem with my two and eight month old. He is not the clingy type at all and frequently runs off leaving me with my eight month old trying to catch up. It is terrifing and good on you for buying a harness. I used to think it was just people who have undisiplined children who used harnesses but now that it is me whose child runds off i completely understand why they can be necessary. People judge from ignorance and at the end of the day it is your precious childs safety that is most important

Leslie - posted on 11/16/2010

My opinion is that the people giving dirty looks have not had to take their kids in that kind of environment. Sure, my grandmother had 4 kids, but how often did she leave the house with them all, and how much traffic was there really on her street, and there were no malls, so on. It may be hard, but I think you are picking your battles wisely- and especially if she isn't fighting you about wearing it. There are a lot of situations where it really is better for her and you if you can have her secured within a safe distance. Otherwise you are causing stress for the both of you in those situations that are genuinely problematic.

Heather Lea - posted on 11/16/2010

I have mixed feelings...I like the idea behind it, but the dirty looks, and yes I’ll admit I've been one of those moms :)
While the child leash is a nice idea, it doesn't really solve the issue at hand. The child just continues to push their limits....most children I have seen on the leashes are wild children screaming and crying with tantrums galore....and that is where the dirty looks usually come in to play. The thought of, omg you really can't or won't control your child with discipline that you just put them on a leash to run wild.

But then there have been those that I seen extremely well behaved and enjoy the freedom of being on a "leash".

Shoot my daughter didn't know any better and was "tied up" in a stroller/grocery cart until she was just about 6 years old. Whereas my 1 1/2 yr old is already trying to climb out of carts, I have toyed with the idea of the child leash but knowing my stubborn child she would be one to push her limits and have tantrums, so for now she's stuck in carts mostly content.

Tiffany - posted on 11/16/2010

I'll be honest, I used to be one of those people that looked at the 'leash' badly. Now I understand them a little bit more, but I still personally will never use them. To me, only an animal should be on a leash. I guess to me, it just is wrong today to see kids on leashes and dogs in car seats....literally, I have seen dogs in car seats lol. But you know what, you are keeping your child safe. If your child is one that runs off every which way, I can totally see the reasoning for it. I guess the real problem I have with them, is when parents just use them because they are lazy and drag their kids around. Just ignore the looks if someone gives you a dirty look. Do what is best for you and your child. =)

Loni - posted on 11/16/2010

Well personally i am totally against them I have a a 7, 4 and 1 1/2.And would never use them. I would rather use a stroller and when they are ready to listen they can walk only holding my hand, and if they act up back strapped in the stroller. On about the dirty looks.... they make kids look they are animals. But if having your child on a leash makes you feel better than forget about the dirty look that people give you as long as you feel your child is safe that is all that matters. And i am saying this as someone who does not believe in those leashed for kids

Jessica - posted on 11/16/2010

I would definitely use one. I have a 3 year old, 2 year old and 7 month old. I thought I was the only one with kids that like to run away. My son just gets a kick out of it. He laughs when I have to run after him. But I'm not going to leave the store either unless I got what I came for. Otherwise it's just tons more work for me. So I would definitely understand the leash thing. And if they do run off and you threaten and they don't come back, then what. I have 2 more in the buggy, I can't be chasing him around. Thank goodness, he's almost 4 and starting to grow out of it. Sometimes I will make him hold onto the carriage while I push and he will behave. Or on the way into the store I will make him feel like he's helping me carry the baby by holding onto the carrier. He likes that. Which comes in handy since i'm carrying the carrier with one hand and holding onto my 2 year old's hand with the other. Anyways, I wouldn't judge you. People with kids and sense SHOULD understand that. That's just the consequence for thinking they can run away. Come on!!! We're not supposed to hardly spank them anymore. But if we let them run away we're bad parents anyways. I've encountered this recently, the bad thing about being a parent is that everyone, even people that aren't entitled to it has an opinion.

Teri - posted on 11/16/2010

i had rains for my eldest n now for my oter son, i think ther amzing, i do hold my sons hand whilest he has them on but when he decides to run of i no he cant, ild rather b safe than sorry, people who give dirty looks for u protecting your child reealy need to sod of its not like uve got them musled!! not all children r the same, so i think carry on using them if ur daughter doesn mind then dnt worry what othersthink xxx

H.J - posted on 11/16/2010

This is entirely my own opinion, I am against them because they are like a dog leash. I find it detrimental to the child's psychosocial self as it is teaching the child that if they do the wrong thing then they will be treated like a dog. How is the child supposed to learn what is safe and what is not safe if you never give them the chance to run off and get lost in a safe environment? What psychological damage is this having on the child to have a leash attached to them?I have never and will never use this on my child or any child for that matter as it is not teaching them what is socially acceptable. I had my child run off in the shops but the moment he couldn't se me he was back by my side. He still stuggles to get out of my grasp when we are walking in the car park sometimes but he is told the car park is not safe. Yes he has run off in the car park but time out as soon as he got home solved that and the next time we put him in the pram because we couldn't trust him. It has taken alot of hard work for him to learn to walk by our side or with his hand held. I find the child leash (harness) an easy way out for a lot of parents

Catherine - posted on 11/15/2010

I think its a good Idea to have one. My two sons drove me out of my minds when they were little trying to hide from me which freaked me out because of strangers, and they could hurt themselves, and its not like we dont keep an eye on our kids its just they are so sneaky sometimes, I think its better for you kids to be safe with you than that one second you take your eyes off them they get hurt.

Sarah - posted on 11/15/2010

Love one and have used one when necessary! I can not leave my kids at home in most situations so I do what I need to keep my kids safe. I could care less what anyone else thinks because I am not doing anything wrong/harmful or anything to be ashamed of. If you have a problem with me keeping my kid safe then it sounds like you are the one who has issues not me. We do not put our kids on leashes because we are lazy so if you are one of those dirty looks people get over yourself! You should be ashamed of yourself for trying to make someone feel guilty for caring about the safety and well being of your kids. If you see one just flash them a big smile hold your head high and keep on walking.

Beth - posted on 11/15/2010

I used to think "why would anybody put their child on a leash?". I now have an almost 2 yr old and he is more interested in walking than riding in his stroller and the little monkey leash i have for him comes in very handy! It gives them their independence in a way, and still allows you to maintain some control. Not to mention keep them close in a crowded place! We used ours at Disney World and it worked like a charm!! Peace of mind for mom and a happy baby being able to walk around...that's all we could ask for! :)

Nikkole - posted on 11/15/2010

I dont have that problem yet, but if my little girl would keep running a ran for me i would use one. its all about safety! you do what you think is right for you and you little girl!

Meredith - posted on 11/15/2010

I agree with Sarh Snarski.. I dont like them, but if you need it then go for it! I see the children on the "leashes" and think "wow, you really have no control over your child?" and then I see a child running around like a madman and I think "PUT A LEASH ON THAT KID!".. LOL.. Sounds like you're not one of the moms who's using it to be lazy.. SAFETY FIRST MY FRIEND! :)

Nikkole - posted on 11/14/2010

My son is almost 3 and i use one with him! The last time i put it on him he went down on all fours painting and barking people looked at me like i was horrible!!

Amanda - posted on 11/14/2010

in my house, if you didn't stay with th adult in charge, you were put in the baby stroller. that has always worked for every child i have cared for, including my own.

Kristen - posted on 11/14/2010

I don't see anything wrong with them. My daughter has a monkey one and loves wearing it. I think it is a great alternative to a stroller when you have a child that loves to walk. I love it, it gives my daughter the independence of not having to hold my hand and still makes me feel safe that she can't run off. I don't know why people give dirty looks, a couple of people in my family have said she's not a dog don't put her on a leash. I look at it like they're not the ones that have to look silly running after her every few minutes.

Kathleen - posted on 11/14/2010

I bought one for my daughter when we started flying. I didn't want her to be confined to her stroller during the long layovers, but I didn't want to have to worry about looking away for a few seconds and her being gone either. Now that she is almost three I have started using it more because she likes to run around when we are out and about and there are large crowds. I don't want her to be confined, but I don't want to have to have a mini stroke because she's run a few feet in front of me. This way I know she is safe and she's never too far away from me.

Brooke - posted on 11/14/2010

Def use one! You dont want your child running out of a grocery store into the road!

Sara - posted on 11/14/2010

i love them i still use them on my five year old sometimes...they seem to like them too they always want to put them on when we go out.

Anna - posted on 11/14/2010

I love them, and will get one for my son when he's old enough (if I need it. Heck, I might get lucky, but I'm not gonna hold my breath :D ). I see nothing cruel about giving a young child a safe amount of freedom, especially if it means more pleasantry for both you then all the better! As far as the dirty looks go, ignore them. Someone somewhere will always disapprove of something you're doing, and if those people are too self-important to worry about everyone else instead of minding their own business, well, shame on them.

Rachel - posted on 11/14/2010

i am 21 and have a 4 month old little girl... i used to think old mums with no control used harnes's and that it was like having a dog on a leash......i was toooottalllyy wrong i see some little kids and how cheeky they can get i wil def use one if my daughter starts to run off u cant smack ur kids in public anymore because u get bad look and i dont think u can reason with little kids because there too small to understand or just dont want to listen so having a harness i think is the safest way at least the cant run near cars or around ppl and u can keep them close to urself

Corryne - posted on 11/14/2010

Thanks so much guys. I try to explain to her that if she leaves my side a bad scary person will take her and she will never see mummy or daddy again or if we r near a road i tell her a car cld run her over but she is still learning and if she sees something she wants shes not goin to remember wat ive taught her. I dont put it on her to be lazy it is purely a safety thing. Thanks everyone for ur support

Kiera - posted on 11/14/2010

i am ashamed to say that used to be me until i had my 2nd child and she was a bout the same and she did run off on me alot. one day she did end up in the parking lot (very scary) but i totally support the use of the harness i would use it as one warning u have to hold my hand 2nd time she runs off the harness goes on and try every shopping trip try again that way she learns to stay with u unasisted we got through it but i wish i had a harness i got so frustrated but stay strong dont worry about the LOOKS u do not understand untill u have a child like that what its like better b safe than sorry u cannot take back some things

Wendy - posted on 11/13/2010

Girl, I completely understand why you use a harness! I had 1 for my daughter when she was little. There's NOTHING wrong with it! It doesn't hurt them and why wouldn't you want to protect your child as much as possible? =) I got the same dirty looks, but I didn't care. Let others think what they want, Being a good mother who wants to take care of their toddler (especially 1 thats prone to running off) shouldn't be judged & if someone is judging you because you want to take care of your little one then their opinion shouldn't matter anyway! =) Keep on doing what you're doing! It only shows that you love and want the best for your child!

Christina - posted on 11/13/2010

I'm 100 pro harness! Whenever I go out with my daughter, who is 3 yrs old, I make sure she is wearing it. It gives me piece of mind knowing that if she tries to wonder off, that she won't get very far. But I've never had people give me dirty looks. Everybody that I've talked to whose seen my daughter in the harness said it's a great idea. The only advice I can give you about the dirty looks is to ignore them!

Ashley - posted on 11/13/2010

my nephew has a monkey one--i don't really like them personally--but those animal ones r cute. ive never given someone a dirty look for using one tho--hey i say if it keeps ur kid safe go for it. that is most important anyway!

Maria - posted on 11/13/2010

I think you should do whatever you need to to make sure your child is safe and forget about those dirty loooks. If they don't like the harness they should feel free to follow you around at the store and be ready to run when your daughter does.
I personally am against the harness for my daughter. I think it's the same as a leash. My daughter has been walking beside me since she was 2. Hasn't had to hold me hand inside the store for about a year. She's four now and doesn't run away at all. When she was little I would let her walk beside me and "help" at the store. I'd give her jobs like picking out the best can of green beans or the right loaf of bread. That helped a lot. When she did try to run I'd yell "NO!" really loud to scare her and she'd go back into the buggy/stroller or whatever. It worked and she only tried a couple of times. I told her I couldn't keep her safe if she ran away and someone could take her home and they'd spank her all day and feed her eggs. She has an allergy to eggs and knows she gets sick if she eats them. when she got older I also told her who to look for if she gets lost so they can take her home to me so she wouldn't be completly terrified if she ever got separated from me.

Corryne - posted on 11/13/2010

Thankyou everyone for your opinions. I recently moved 3000kms (1800miles) away from where I grew up (hubby is in the army) so I dont have someone to watch my kids while I go out to the shops. Plus the kids need to get outta the house too. Like most of you before I had kids i used to think you only put 'leashes on a dog. I dont see it as a leash i see it as a harness with a strap. Look my daughter is generally well behaved at the shops so when she is having a good day i put the harness on minus the strap as its removable. So she walks around with wat looks like a back pack if she runs off i get her explain to her then reapply the strap. AND i have NEVER dragged her by it if she stops i simply grab her hand and put her back on the path we are going. Honestly if she didnt like having it on i would not force her to wear it but she loves it. I did purchase a double pram when my son was born. He is now 1 and weighs 13 kgs (28pounds) and my daughter weighs 15kgs (33pounds) there was no way with me having bad back problems that I could physically push that around anymore. My daughter understands the rules but she is 3 and obviously there r times when she gets excited or cranky or sees something she wants and takes off. Just to reply to a few comments made. But thankyou everyone for ur support makes me feel like im not alone ♥

Kyla - posted on 11/13/2010

I used to think they weren't for me and that I would never put my son on one.. that was until he started to walk. Now I am all for them, you would do anything to keep your little one safe. My son LOVES to walk and hates being confined in his stroller and I find myself chasing him because he will not hold my hand. I think I get more looks when my child is screaming on the floor because I tried to hold his hand.

Stifler's - posted on 11/13/2010

The ones giving dirty looks obv don't have kids that run off. If you do and you think it's safer for your kid to have one then just do it.

Lisa - posted on 11/13/2010

I used to think to myself that kids arent dogs and shouldnt be put on a leash until I had my own and now I totally understand why they need to use them. I have a 2 year old daughter who doesnt like to be in her stroller and a 3 months old son so having her walk without one is out of the question I cant run after her while pushing an infant in his stroller and she is such a good girl that I dont like making her sit in the stroller if she doesnt want to but like any 2 year old she like to look at everything so she runs. And Id rather have people stare at me and give my dirty looks then have my sweet little girl hurt herself or worse yet someone grab her before I can catch her and run off with her and me with a 3 months old that I can leave. So I TOTALLY agree with them. They keep your child close while giving them some independance

Jaime - posted on 11/13/2010

I am against the harnesses. They seem like leashes on pets to me. They make toddler strollers for kids up to a certain weight and I'm all for staying at home if I've got rowdy kid(s). I figure I'll either find someone to watch my child while I go to the store or I'll wait until my child is calm enough to go with me somewhere, if she HAS to go. The store is not a necessity.

My parents say I never ran off when we went to the store, but then again they had me in a stroller or sitting in the cart until I was older. My brother is an entirely different story, but we were raised by two completely different people so make what you will out of that scenario.

I, too, am a mother who will leave a full cart of groceries if my daughter starts misbehaving. I will go so far as to return something if I've bought it for her if she's being a brat. She will have to show me and my husband respect, and running rampant in the store without listening to us is not respect.

But I'm with just about everyone on if you feel you need to use them, go ahead. Ignore the dirty looks because they're not worth noticing. People can judge all they want but it's on their heads, not yours. If your little girl likes it and is safer, then cool, do what you wish. :)

Nicole - posted on 11/13/2010

I used one for a while with my son when he was 3 because he would run off on me and I was pregnant. I stopped using it when he starting going limp because I wasn't about to drag him.



I tried a few things to get him to walk with me, stopping and having timeouts, going back to a stroller, explaining to him before we left the house what our schedule was and what I expected of him ("we are going to walk to the bus stop. I would like you to hold my hand and walk with me.")



I had one really hard week where he just refused to walk at all, we couldn't get two steps without him going limp or trying to bolt. I got a friend to help me. She came with me places and helped take over when I got overwhelmed and after a few days of us gently reminding him that he did have to walk and running and going limp was not safe and not okay he snapped out of it.



The behaviour reemerges sometimes and he respond right away to it and it doesn't last long.



I do own a harness for him and will happily use it any time I am taking more than 2 children out of the house.

Rebekah - posted on 11/13/2010

If it works, use it!! My son is/was way too active for one of those things too. He would literally lay on the ground and refuse to go anywhere when I tried to use the harness with him.

Check out the book, "Raising the Spirited Child" too. It really helped me to understand my son and get him (also 3 yrs) under a little more control when we are out in public. By the way, I have a 3 yr old and a 1 yr old too.

Holly - posted on 11/13/2010

I am all for them. I have literally seen a little boy who would have gotten kidnapped if not for the safety harness his mother had on him. The next day we went and bought our daughter's first safety harness.

p.s. I LOVE that you made the title "harness" and not "leash" - it's a safety harness, NOT a leash! :)

Amanda - posted on 11/13/2010

I personally didn't like them, but after having 4 children and pretty close together if I had to use one I would! I typically don't go to the store without my fiance so I have an extra person to help! I'd rather use the cart but if that's what works for you than by all means use it! Who cares about those looks, they're probably coming from people who don't have kids close or who have never had to use them. So f them haha!!

Sarh - posted on 11/13/2010

I am against them, but I do understand why YOU are using them for her safety. I just feel like a lot of moms use them out of pure laziness. And I couldn't use one as I feel only an animal should wear a harness and be on a leash. The only time I think they are appropriate is when like yourself someone has a 3yo & a 1yo or similar ages. And if the mother is pregnant w/a child under about 3-4yo. I live in the city and it's not the greatest of an area (Milwaukee, not sure if you are familiar or not), but it is safe where we live. But there are parents here who use them and I've seen them dragging their child behind them by it (better then some who drag their child by their hair or clothing, but still not acceptable).
I hope this may help?

Christi - posted on 11/13/2010

I use one with my son. He hates being strapped down because of his sensory problems associated with his Autism so we use the money backpack. Rather be safe then have a child missing.