Has anyone delt with a premature baby?

Lori - posted on 03/27/2009 ( 14 moms have responded )

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I got pregnant after having a miscarriage 3 weeks into my first pregnancy. When I found out I was pregnant again, I was so mixed emotions about it! well, at 7 months pregnant, i started having contractions, my husband and I went to the hospital and they were able to stop my contrations giving me 3 shots. Well, in Feburary I started having contrations again, but this time it was worse! The contractions were 4 mins apart. When we arrived at the hospital, they put me in a room. I was put in a room on bed rest and a liquid diet! The had me on magnesium and gave me stadol for pain! On that Friday morning at

4:00 in the morning the doctor decided to let me have her on my consent. I had a hard labor!! Nikki was born at 5:45 that afternoon and of course I had 15 people in the room with me while I was giving birth to my daughter! When she was born, the nurses cleaned her up and let me hold her for 2 sec and then took her to the nursery intensive care unit! There she had to stay in the hospital for a week and a half! She weighed 3lbs and 15ozs. She is now home and now weighs 7lbs and 15ozs! I am very happy that my baby is growing, but I can't seem to find my happiness! People say it is postpardom depression. I don't know what it is! I just feel like i'm a bad person at times! Anyway, does anyone feel my pain? Does anyone have any advice that I can use to help me? Thanks!

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Savannah - posted on 08/25/2012

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My son (first child) was born 10 weeks early at a whopping 2lb 3oz. I had contracted pre-eclampsia, and was forced to have a c-sect after 2 days of steroids and magnesium induced hell. Luckily for us, the hospital that delivered him had one of the best NICU staffs in the state. His stay was a terrifying 2 months, and he was able to come home for Christmas.

My son is now 10 months old and weighs just over 20lbs! He is not showing to have any complications in development, and appears to be caught up to where a healthy 10 month old should be, aside from being in the low percentiles for height and weight.

Kwana - posted on 05/14/2011

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Yes my son was a premie he had to say in the nic unit for 16 days. I was depressed even when he came home. You body still out of wack you will be okay just relax and enjoy your little one. IT will get better just pray!!

Tami - posted on 05/14/2011

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I'm a mom of twin 25-week preemies. I had a very long stay in the hospital -- 18 months with my son! I wrote a book called Preemie Parents, 26 Ways to Grow With Your Premature Baby. You can visit my site at www.preemieparents.com. I provide great advice and resources for parents like you! Stay strong. And remember that there's a reason for everything. Your journey is finding it...Tami

Lori - posted on 03/28/2009

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Thank you guys so much for the advice. This means so much to me and i am so glad that i joined this group!



~Lori~

Krystal - posted on 03/27/2009

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Hi I had my little girl (3rd child) early. She was born at 34 weeks, due an antibody that I had got sometime after my second child was born. What this antibody did was kill the red blood cells causing the baby and mother to become anemic. She born via emergency c-section and after she was born I got to see her for a few seconds then she was immediately taken to the NICU were she was given 2 blood transfusions. We didnt get to see her until about 10pm when she had been born at 4:20pm. It was very traumatic as well every premature birth is traumatic. I think every woman imagines an great labor and birth were nothing goes wrong and is able to hold the baby right after and have that bond grow. I was told I had ppd. I was told that it is very common. Mother with babies in NICUs often feel less of a mom because they cant do for them and with the nurses taking care of them.  I would talk to your doctor and see if he/she can advise you on how to deal with it. I had to be put on meds because I was so bad but I waited to see a doctor I didnt think I could get ppd and that ppd was just another way of someone calling you crazy. BUT I WAS WRONG. I would talk to your doctor. You will feel better just telling someone how you feel. I hope I was able to help you. CONGRATS!!! on your little girl. Sorry for this being so long.

Krystal - posted on 03/27/2009

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Hi I had my little girl (3rd child) early. She was born at 34 weeks, due an antibody that I had got sometime after my second child was born. What this antibody did was kill the red blood cells causing the baby and mother to become anemic. She born via emergency c-section and after she was born I got to see her for a few seconds then she was immediately taken to the NICU were she was given 2 blood transfusions. We didnt get to see her until about 10pm when she had been born at 4:20pm. It was very traumatic as well every premature birth is traumatic. I think every woman imagines an great labor and birth were nothing goes wrong and is able to hold the baby right after and have that bond grow. I was told I had ppd. I was told that it is very common. Mother with babies in NICUs often feel less of a mom because they cant do for them and with the nurses taking care of them.  I would talk to your doctor and see if he/she can advise you on how to deal with it. I had to be put on meds because I was so bad but I waited to see a doctor I didnt think I could get ppd and that ppd was just another way of someone calling you crazy. BUT I WAS WRONG. I would talk to your doctor. You will feel better just telling someone how you feel. I hope I was able to help you. CONGRATS!!! on your little girl. Sorry for this being so long.

[deleted account]

You are at a greater risk of PPD when you have a premature baby.  Having a baby in the NICU for any amount of time is very traumatic especially when you are fighting off premature labor.  With your miscarriage only three weeks before you got pregnant again you may not have had enough time to grieve for the baby you lost either.   I can tell you that my pregnancy/birth/NICU experience with my daughter (she's now 2) still haunts me.  There are groups on here for premature babies and it seems that we all feel the same way.  I think until you have a premature baby you just can't understand the emotions that come with it.  You are so happy that your baby is doing well, but it is just so hard.  It is really like a rollercoaster and you are robbed of the good pregnancy/birth that you really needed to have.  Also remember that you just had your baby.  I would talk to your doctor and your husband and friends and family.  Ask for extra support at this time and do try to check out the premature baby groups here on Cirle of Moms.  They have really helped me realize that my feelings are normal and it feels good to have somewhere to turn to when I need it.  Many hugs to you.

[deleted account]

You are at a greater risk of PPD when you have a premature baby.  Having a baby in the NICU for any amount of time is very traumatic especially when you are fighting off premature labor.  With your miscarriage only three weeks before you got pregnant again you may not have had enough time to grieve for the baby you lost either.   I can tell you that my pregnancy/birth/NICU experience with my daughter (she's now 2) still haunts me.  There are groups on here for premature babies and it seems that we all feel the same way.  I think until you have a premature baby you just can't understand the emotions that come with it.  You are so happy that your baby is doing well, but it is just so hard.  It is really like a rollercoaster and you are robbed of the good pregnancy/birth that you really needed to have.  Also remember that you just had your baby.  I would talk to your doctor and your husband and friends and family.  Ask for extra support at this time and do try to check out the premature baby groups here on Cirle of Moms.  They have really helped me realize that my feelings are normal and it feels good to have somewhere to turn to when I need it.  Many hugs to you.

Desi - posted on 03/27/2009

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I had twins born at 35 weeks, by induction and then c-section because they were scared of twin-to-twin transfusion (which turned out to be unfounded). My boys were born at 4lbs 10oz and 4lbs 15oz, and had no health complications so they were able to come home with me when I left the hospital, three days later (the day before Mother's Day 2007- talk about a mother's day gift!!)

Because they got to come home whenever I did, I didn't have to deal with the NICU experience, for which I am very grateful. However, i still had to deal with a laundry list of "don'ts" and it was very hard, especially with them being babies #4&5. They were almost a year old before I could really be able to enjoy them without worrying about their health and what we could and couldn't do.

I would definitely speak to your doctor if you are scared you have post-partum depression. It can be very dangerous, and needs to be treated, whether by medication or by modifying your day-to-day life.

If you don't want to do that, or think it's not that serious, I would recommend you just take some time for yourself. Sounds insane, doesn't it, with a new baby? But get your DH or a friend to take the baby for a while and go and do what you enjoy, with your friends or by yourself. My therapy after having a baby and feeling bogged down and depressed is always leaving the babies with my DH and taking off with my SIL to chill out, ride around, or just go shopping for something non-baby-related.

I hope that you get to feeling better before long!!

Jennifer - posted on 03/27/2009

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HI! I had twin boys 3 yrs ago. They each wieghed 2lbs and were 14in long. They were born at 27 weeks. They were in the NICU for 3 1/2 months. They had an intestinal infection (NEC) 3 times and both ended up having surgery. Braden came out fine and Logan ended up with a colostomy. They both had laser eye surgery. Logan had strokes an lost 70% of his brain function. Braden came home on his due date and Logan 2 wks later. It was very hard to bond with them while they were in the NICU. I felt very guilty and thought it was my fault that I could not carry them to term. But, that feeling soon went away and I enjoyed them as much as I could. Logan struggled medically for 1 1/2 years and then he peacefully passed away in my arms. Looking back, I am glad that he survived as long as he did. He was close to death a few times in the NICU and could have easily passed away and I would not have ever gotten to know him. Just remember that no matter what they will always love you and you just have to be there for your baby.

Katie - posted on 03/27/2009

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Hi!!! Congrats on your new little one! My daughter was born (suddenly) at 32.5 weeks and she weighed 3lbs11oz! She was in the NICU for 7 weeks!!! It is totally normal to feel guilt but you have to get that out of your head!!! Your daughter was meant to come and will have a better life for that!!! Enjoy every minute of her....my daughter is now 6months and 15lbs!!! I cannot even believe it and I am starting to forget how small she was!!! Take lots of pictures and gicve her lots of kisses........they grow fast!!!

Lisa - posted on 03/27/2009

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Hi, congrats on your little girl!. How many weeks early was she? I had two premature babies (34 weeks son and 35 weeks girl) due to complicated pregnancy's. During complicated pregnancies you fear of losing them is overwhelming but you somehow just cope. After the dramatic entrance of a premmie it can be relief and joy that they are ok but you know there is still a little way to go until they are home safely with you. You dont get to hold them for long if at all and this causes stress in itself as you should be bonding and getting to know each other and you feel a little a bit useless as you cant help them when its instinct to do so. Once baby is home it is hard winding down and taking over after they have been monitored closely and the responsibility hits you hard. You may still just be frazzled and need more time to adjust to everything emotionally. Ask Family and friends for support or even just their company helps to lighten things up. Even just the reality of doing it all yourself everyday can get mums down so remember to take time out for yourself! But if you find your depressed 24/7 seek help from specialists before it gets out of hand. Good Luck!

Krista - posted on 03/27/2009

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I was premature, born 1lb, 3oz and four months early; and my son was four weeks early. It was a scary thing to be a new mom, but I leaned on my family they are always there for me and I know yours will be there for you. If you feel unhappy, take time for youself. It's okay to get a sitter and go spend an evening out.



I have also learned to take tiime out for myself everyday. When my son is sleeping I will spend time on the computer or catch up on TV shows I watch. It's a good time for me to have time for me.



I hope this helps you,



 

Andrea - posted on 03/27/2009

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I had a premature baby with a very traumatic NICU experience for 10 weeks. I think that it is difficult to bond with your baby when the nurses are doing everything for her... Have you spoke to your doctor about postpartum depression? I think it is all around scary and I blamed myself a lot for my water breaking at 24 weeks. If you have not spoken to your doc that is where I would start. I have been through the ringer with my premie and now after a year am finally to the point I feel I can be excited about her.

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