haveing a c-section adding to postpartume depression.

Shannan - posted on 07/30/2010

I went through what you are I have a 2 yr old daughter, but had to have a c-section and I thought what is wrong with me that I couldn't have her "naturally" seeing as how all my life family and friends would joke about me having "child- bearing hips" but I realized that because I had a c-section I was able to bring her safely into the world instead of her head comming out and getting stuck and make her not be able to breath, but that is just my situation. I hope this helps somehow.

Monica - posted on 07/30/2010

Alisha, I totally disagree with everyone who says that it's not healthy to feel the way you do. I think you are completely justified in your feelings. I myself have been going through a long grieving process for the experience I wanted and expected to have. I think it's much healthier to go through that grieving process and come to terms with your feelings, rather than devaluing them and sweeping them under the rug. The ICAN meeting I went to last night was awesome. It felt so good to have women with a similar experience validate and support me - and tell me how they felt the same way, and that it's normal to be that way. I highly recommend you look into finding out if there is a group that meets in your area.

Nicole - posted on 07/30/2010

Hi alisha, I also had to have a c-section. and honestly i felt the same way you did after having my son. I did not want to have a c-section, But when i went for my last ultra sound they found that my son was breach. They tried to turn him and that only put me into labor the next day. Which was even more scary for me because i had no time to read up on a csection and i knew nobody who had one. I had really bad depression after i had my son and thought about alot of the things you do. But you cant feel that way and its not good to think that way and alot of the other girls are right its not healthy. But i do understand where you are comming from its hard to want to do something one way and have that plan not go your way. :(

Alisha - posted on 07/29/2010

thanks for all the posts it helps to know im not the only one that feels this way.

Monica - posted on 07/29/2010

How long ago did you have your baby? I had my c-section 13 months ago, and some days I still have feelings of disappointment/inadequacy over how my son was born. I've been screened for ppd as a result of my feelings, but turns out that's not even the reason I feel like I do.

I don't really have any advice for you, just validation that you are not alone. Tonight, I'm going to a meeting of my local International Caesarian Awareness Network chapter. I am hoping to find support and advice there for getting over my feelings. Perhaps you can see if you have a local chapter as well.

**hugs**

Corinne - posted on 07/28/2010

having ppd doesnt help any feelings a new mother has. I can relate to you and a lot of the other mothers as I had a c section that was not planned. My entire pregnancy I was healthy with no complications what so ever. I went into labor and contractions started at 5 mins apart but when I got to the hospital I got my epidural like planned and well it slowed my contractions so they gave me pitossin and needless to say I pushed for 1 1/2 hours just to have a doctor tell me I had to have a c section. I balled my eyes out and screamed at him for 10 mintures about how I felt like a failure. I felt like that for the 1st week all I could do was cry. I have gotten a lot better and still feel like I've failed because I couldnt have my daughter naturally and she was very healthy as well. As hard as it may seem at times just remember you delievered a miracle into this world reguardless how you gave birth AND no matter what she/he will love you unconditionally. If you ever need to talk or vent please feel free to email me. As far as the meds not working I would def call the doctor ppd is not something to take lightly.

Jennifer - posted on 07/28/2010

I too had a section after a few days of labour. He was stuck and I hated it because I have doctor/hospital anxiety panic etc. But I keep telling myself that it was the best thing to do for me and our son at the time. It is one of the most difficult things I've had to cope with in my life. My amazing husband and our doula and the crazy staff at the hospital helped me get through each moment as it was happening. I was back a week later with incision infection and on a bunch of IV antibiotics over Christmas. But it's 7 months later and we have a wonderful son and I have a battle scar, but that's my past not my future. The scar still hurts some days and I have a patch of numb skin about 4 inches (10cm). There is a light at the end of this tunnel, so focus on what you have right now and be patient with yourself. But you really need to follow up with a doctor if your meds aren't working. Hang in there, you're not alone.

Sarah - posted on 07/28/2010

I have to remind myself several times a day that my baby is here, healthy, and thriving. It sucks being told you need to have surgery after you put in all that work to get so far. I cried when they told me it was time for the c-section, BUT my baby is here, she is healthy, and is thriving because I am a good mom.



PS--there was nothing wrong with my daughter. She was a trooper throughout the whole induction. My body didn't respond to the induction, labor stalled, but it's not my fault. I was doing all the right things. Next time, though, I will be insisting on trying for a natural birth, and I'll be hiring a doula. Send me a message :) We can commiserate about our sucky experiences :)

Lori - posted on 07/28/2010

this happened to me too. my whole pregnancy with my first son i assumed i was going to deliever vaginally. when my water broke and i went to the hospital they induced my contractions (bc i wasnt having any on my own) and after 12 hrs i only made it 4 cms. i had strep b and my sons heart rate was becoming irregular so they took me in for an emercency csection. i had feeling during the surgery and they kept pumping full of meds to block the pain but it wasnt working so they ended up putting me out. i didnt even get to see him or hear his first cry or anything. after all of that i still felt like i failed and had so many feelings of inadequecy. then i ended up with the incision getting infected to top it off. so i hated the fact that i had to be cut open and now the cut was literally making me ill. it was horrible. i still have the feeling of being a failure from time to time..like mothers who push their babies out have some different kind of bond or something ridiculous. i understand how you feel completely. try and remind yourself that it was out of your control and whether you pushed the baby out or had the baby cut out, your baby is here and you're BOTH healthy. People tend to forget the mom has to make it through the delievery also!! I also try and tell myself i am fortunate that the drs know as much as they do these days and were able to do a csection..otherwise one of both of us may not have made it without any problems.im due again in a week and am trying for a vbac but keeping in mind that it may not happen and i have to accept that.

Alisha - posted on 07/23/2010

thanks for the posts. But one of the main reasons i think this is cause the reason i had to have one wasn't cause there was anything wrong with my daughter she came out perfect and healthy as can be it was cause there was something wrong with me.

Hannah - posted on 07/23/2010

I would like to second what Jenn said. I too, had an emergency C section. and there is a LOT of guilt about it. And what really helped me was talking with a trained professional. They also put me on some anti-depression drugs for a brief period that really helped me as well.

What you are feeling is NOT normal. Please seek medical help!

Emma - posted on 07/23/2010

ah you shouldnt feel like that! if you ask me theres to much competition over who had pain meds and who done it all naturaly without anything and who had a vaginal birth and who had a section! those attitudes dont make you feel any better but at end of day the safest way to bring your baby into the world was the best way for you! i had twin girls who are now 7 mnths by c sec because twin 1 was breech so could have been dangerous to deliver normally and i felt likt you really wanted a natural birth but i thought whatever is best for the babies as i didnt want any complications! isnt it best to have a nice healthy, alive, well baby than for the baby to have been born sick or god forbid dead! you need to look at it from that point of view! you did what was best for your baby!

Jenn - posted on 07/23/2010

I can relate to the feelings of inadaquesy over having a section. I Had a birth planned at a Midwifery center where, after entering active labor three times, a castor oil augmentation, a B&B tonic augmentation, a transfer to the hospital (because I had risked out of the birth center at 42 weeks 1 day) IV fluids for dehydration, an epidural for pain after 5 days of labor, and finally pitocin I ended up with a section too. Weather it was our broken maternity system that failed you or your body it takes time to get over the sadness, disappointment and anger. Then on top of it if when you tell people about it and they respond by saying 'At least you have a healthy baby' it makes you feel as if you were not part of the birth. People often focus to much on the baby and forget that the mother had a vision of how she wanted her child to come into the world and THAT matters. I would suggest finding a postpartum group or even someone who specializes in birth PTSD. Good luck with everything and know that your body does know what it is doing and you can still try for the vaginal birth you want!!!

September - posted on 07/23/2010

Regardless of how you brought your angel into this world you're still amazing! Your body has created the most precious gift in the whole wide world! There is no reason that you should feel less of a woman! I'm here if you ever want to talk. Please feel free to send me a private message anytime. Hang in there and good luck!