Having trouble with Mother-In-Law

Laura - posted on 11/24/2009

yes give your hubby the choice of talking to her him self or you will do it.. or you could also ask taht mil sits with you and him and talk like adults.. let her know, as you can appreciate her concerns, opinions.. its not for her to judge or parent your child.. you can also let her know that you have a wonderful husband who is her son and that if you wnat her advice you'll ask for it

Rebecca - posted on 11/24/2009

You have my complete sympathy, I totally relate, my Mother in law bashes my parenting skills to my husband, meanwhile she beat her kids daily growing up so really , sorry I love and adore my chlid and like to be with him all the time. He needs to stand up to her and tell her to respect you, way easier said then done as I can't get my husband to do it either, my baby is 11 months and I get closer and closer to erupting everytime I see her. If you find a way to get through without strangling her please let me know! My son is the first admitted grandbaby but thankfully my sis in law is pregnant and due in may so here's to hoping she can focus all her fake attention (only wants to hold him when others are around to show off to otherwise sits on the couch staring at him play) on that baby. Try your best to ignore her, as she can only take the power you give her, way harder said then done since everytime I'm around mine I'm in knots and can't sleep for hours after she calls. Good luck!

Sharalyn - posted on 11/24/2009

You need to talk to your husband and say, 'If you don't want me to talk to your mother then YOU talk to your mother.' If he refuses, that's when I would take matters into my own hands and tell her the deal. Let her know its YOUR WAY OR NO WAY. You are the mother now and how you want to raise your daughter is up to you. I be damned if someone complained if I dressed my daughter up too 'girlie'. My daughter is not theirs! Stand your ground and be consistent. You got this.

Candice - posted on 11/24/2009

OMG first of all she is over stepping her boundaries and your husband needs to speak up on your behalf and his i would think he would agree with you. Dont let her bother i know its easier said then done but sometimes people do things they know are going to get to for that simple fact. I have somewhat of the same sit with mine and my daugter not quite sitting up byheself i am told she should be and her kids did etc.. But after listing to everyone on here it let me know its all good and to shake them haters off. I really feel like your husband should say something to her and if doesnt i would think you could say something to her in a way that would not start a family fight. But she needs to know thats YOUR daughter not hers and you will raise her how you see fit and put all the bows in the world in her hair i mean really who complains about something like that. They must not have too much to occupy time if comlaining about bows etc... You stick your ground dont let her push you around i know you have to be respectul to her she is family but she also needs to respect you and your husband wishes. Best of luck to YOu and Happy Thanksgiving hope the holiday will be ok for you! Enjoy your baby girl they grow up fast!

Melissa - posted on 11/24/2009

thank you for all the replies and help!! i greatly appreciate it!

Elisha - posted on 11/24/2009

i am in the same place with my mother in law, pretty much she doesnt see my girls, i have tried many times to tell her the rules with my girls. All she does is give my oldest cookies all the time and the cuss up a storm big time. I dontlike it and have told them not too. I talked with my husband and told him my problems and let him know that if she didnt follow the rules she didnt get to see the girls. My mom is the only one who watches them. If she sees them its for alike a hour out of the month, let you mom in law know though that its your child and these are the rules, either follow and respect them or this is what will happen. I do email so they can sit down and actually read it and realize what im saying.. Me and my mother in law dont get along at all, but i have learned to stand up for my kids and my husband understands. We also have a nephew who she gets to watch all the time who also has no manners, and is very rude to my girls, but when my mother in law has him nothing is his fault and my oldest gets blamed for everything.. its very annoying, so now she doesnt get to see them, sad but my girls dont need someone like that in their life anyway i guess.

Lula - posted on 11/24/2009

You are her mother. That's that. Your husband should talk to her, but I don't think it's gonna change anything. When it comes down to it, you should stick your ground, but do it in a RESPECTFUL and DIGNIFIED way. My mom is like that too, and I've had to tell her, this is my child and I feel like I know what is best for her, so I'm going to do it my way. I'll listen to what you have to say, but it's my choice as to whether I'll do it that way or not. If it just gets worse, I suggest what Ashley said and keep your daughter away from her and the drama of what might come. Just don't doubt yourself. I don't think anyone could love your child more than you. :)

Michelle - posted on 11/24/2009

i went through the same thing, and it was a struggle, but i just laid the law down, my daughter is mine, my responsibility not my in laws. my husband didnt like it but he sat there with me while i voiced my opinion, because honestly he would rather me happy ( the one he comes home to every night) rather then his mom who he sees on weekend. but be sure that you still include you mother inlaw, ask her opinion, u dont always have to use it but ask for in moderation of course, lol. my and my mother inlaw now get along great.

if you husband loves you he will understand and work with you.

Kaiulani - posted on 11/24/2009

Im sorry to hear your mother in law is like that. I have had feelings like that with my first daughter. It felt like my mother in law felt like she needed to question the way I raised my daughter. My mother in law never had a daughter so my daughter was like the daughter she never had. She always wanted a daughter. I live in Hawaii and she lives in Wisconsin so the distance is nice, you barely need to see your child be spoiled. When we had my mother in law fly out for my daughters first birthday That was the weekend from hell. It seemed like she did not like how I raised my baby with discipline. She expected me to carry my daughter every time she cried give my daughter everything she wanted. I was upset with her always adding her two sense in. However all I did was keep doing what I thought was best for my daughter my mother in law would get mad at me and I really did not care. Sometimes you just have to put your foot down and remind them it is not their child to raise, it is yours. She still tries to spoil our daughter but we always tell her too much spoiling leads to a bad kid who thinks she can get everything. My daughter is now 2. If you are too fed up, maybe you guys should limit how often you guys visit her. Just put your feet down and show your mother in law you will raise your daughter the way you want not how she expects you to raise her. Your husband should tell his mother to back off and let you guys raise your child they way you want. I made my husband put his mom in her place.

Jessica - posted on 11/24/2009

I agree with Ashley Jensen He needs to talk to his mother!!!!

Ashley - posted on 11/24/2009

Your husband needs to talk to his mom. If not, then she doesn't need to see your daughter.