He says he isn't in love with me anymore.

Larissa - posted on 08/25/2011

"I do not want our daughter growing up thinking it's okay to settle into a loveless relationship."

Sharon - posted on 08/19/2011

After a major move and big life changes I went through this with my husband of seven years who has always been extremely commited. I do not believe in divorce but it suddenly became something that seemed unavoidable. I chose to go to God with it. I needed a ton of support from my family and pastor to get through each day. I prayed constantly and really relied on God to show me what to do and say everyday. I read the book 'Blessing Your Husband' as well as watched the movie Fire Proof and did the books that went along with it. It was hard at times to be loving, even extra so to a man that was saying he didn't love me. But I knew this wasn't him. I stuck it out and in a pretty short amount of time thing got better and even better than they have ever been. The best piece of marriage advice I ever got was "marriage isn't 50/50 its 100/100 because sometimes your spouse juat doesn't have their 50 to give and sometimes you won't". My husband is a good man, never cheated and has never been abusive. He went through a rough patch and I got to learn what it really meant when I said "for better or worse" its worth it to see a relationship through especially when you have children together. One of the biggest things that kept me working at it was realizing if we divorced our kids would only get to see each of us part time, and I don't want that for any of us. Good luck. I'm praying for you. Feel free to message me at Sharon_tlw@yahoo.com if you want to talk.

Jenni - posted on 08/15/2011

I strongly believe in exhausting all options before calling it quits when a child is involved. I'm not against divorce or anything. I feel it's important to make the effort for your child. But you both have to be willing to repair the relationship. If he is not willing, then I say there's little hope. He's already made up his mind. And all that's left to do is move on.



But I would strongly encourage the both of you to try marriage or couple's councilling first. Like another poster said, it's possible he's lost hope in marriage after seeing his parents divorce. Councilling would help him get to the bottom of the issue and solve it so the two of you can move forward and grow together as a couple.



I wish you both the best of luck.

Ann - posted on 08/15/2011

get out...it is not worth the emotional strain on you and your child. I was married for 10 years and my husband text me one day that he wanted a divorce. Just be glad you guys aren't married...

Jade - posted on 08/15/2011

I'm in a similar situation, although there is no divorce in our case. My boyfriend of almost 4 years started to drift away about 7 months ago, and I waited it out hoping that he was just adjusting to being a new dad and that things would go back to the way they were. Fast forward 6 months, I had enough, it was only getting worse and couldn't keep waiting for him to be the man I fell in love with. So I made the hardest decision of my life and packed a bag for him and asked him to move out. I sometimes feel as though I overreacted, but then I remember all the days and nights where I was taking care of OUR child and he was nowhere to be found. So I don't know how long you've been waiting for your bf to change, but if it's been more than a few months, I wouldn't put up with it anymore...sometimes you just need a break. It doesn't necessarily mean it's over, just that you need some time to miss each other and realize what you have. There is always the possibilty that one of you, or both of you will drift apart, but it might be for the best...you don't want to be with someone who isn't going to put any effort in your relationship. It's alot of stress, I know, but you have a child to take care of, and that's your number 1 priority. So give your bf some space before it gets to a bad place and starts affecting your parenting, because your daughter will pick up on the stress, and that's not good for any of you. In my case, we've actually been getting along alot better since we split up, and it almost feels like we just met and have just started dating (you know that butterfly feeling when you first started dating each other :) ). I hope that advice helps, there's nothing easy about that kind of situation, so best of luck to you!

Jessica - posted on 08/13/2011

I have the same problem. A little different. My boyfriend of 6 yrs and his father and mother hven't been together since he was born. I don't even get a kiss or hear his voice. Our baby is 8 months. I kicked him yesterday. There is no excuse not to love someone, because of the history with his parents. I think it has everthing to do with the new person in your lives. It's no longer you and me. It's you me and the baby. To see someone change like this after having a baby is hard to understand the reasoning. Even if you still love and will wait for ever to be loved back it's not fucking worth it. It hurts the child more to his parents not giving love to one another, than to not be together. Maybe if you seperate for a while, just then he might see differently. There is only one wy in life to go and that is forward. Don't wste your time waiting in those same days that seem like they last forever and are so miserable. Take a chance of doing something, anything. Your baby is your life now and he either wants to be in that life with you or he dosen't.

Amy - posted on 08/11/2011

He may have lost a little bit of faith in relationships after his mom split with his step dad. he may be feeling like you're going to leave him just like his mom left, so he's putting up barriers because in his mind nothing is forever and if someone can leave their partner after 18 years of marriage what makes this relationship different? that's just my theory, being from a divorced family myself it's hard to get over and hard to believe that some relationships can last forever. I think he's feeling extreemly vulnerable right now and he just needs a lot of reassurances from you. try to show him that you love him by going on a date, making a romantic meal at home and telling him how much he means to you. over time he should go back to the way he was. he's just going thorugh some rough stuff. if that doesn't work, try mentioning couseling to him, if only one or 2 sessions he can get what's on his mind out to someone who is impartial. all the best, and good luck!