Kim - posted on 01/21/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )
im not due to have my first baby until the 24th March 09. I'm really nervous. in April 08 i had a miscarriage caused by the contraception i was using - didn't even know i was pregnant until it was too late. Since then I have been suffering with depression. I had to have an operation following the miscarriage and I had to go through it alone as my partner was in France working and couldn't get a flight back until after the op. It was the first time I'd ever had an operation and I was frightened silly! I also had to spend two weeks in the hospital.
Before I even had time to think about the miscarriage I found out I was pregnant again - the contraceptive injection works wonders by the way! We decided to keep it. Even though I had just been diagnosed with depression. After loosing the first I couldn't kill the second! But all the way through the pregnancy I've had nothing but problems. At first the morning sickness was so bad I lost over a stone in weight and ended up being hospitalised, I've never been able to put the weight back on and have lost a little more since, even though my belly is huge! The morning sickness started to clear up around the 15th week but starting the 16th week I developed migraines - 2 different types - one of them causes stroke symptoms. When this first happened I was so scarred. The hospital had thought I had actually had a stroke as I couldn't walk or talk for the next 6 weeks due to the paralysis down my left side. These have become easier to manage but are still scary at the time. I have at least one a week.
At around 24 weeks I was hospitalised with kidney stones and kidney infections. These have reoccurred nearly ever 2 weeks since, and each time I tend to end up in the hospital.
At 30 weeks I started with a stomach bug and now she isn't moving around as much as she used to. At 31 weeks I went to the hospital on my midwife's instructions. And they are asking me to keep an eye on it and if she doesn't move at least 5 times by 1pm today I have to go back in.
All this is not helping with my depression, my GP has booked me in to see a psychiatrist but will this help? I still think what if? about my lost baby. Would that have been a boy or a girl too? If i hadn't lost that one what would the pregnancy have gone like? As stressful as this one? My partner doesn't understand. He thinks I should just forget about it, I've got this baby now, I should be happy. I'm constantly worried I will lose her too, like the last one but he doesn't understand this at all. He thinks things aren't as bad as they are. He called my a hypochondriac and a drama queen when I went in the hospital when her heart beat was raised and she hadn't been moving for days. Even though it was the hospital that told me to come in! They rang me!
I would really appreciate some advice from someone who has or is in the same or similar situation.