help

Tyneisha - posted on 05/13/2010

It's tough, but it gets better. Sometimes even the most seasoned parents get overwhelmed. The first few months are very tough. The best advise i can give is ask for help from relatives. When you need sleep, ask a trusted relative to come over for a few hours while you sleep or take him to them. Also, when your babie sleeps, you should sleep. you can't do everything at once. You really have to know how to ask for help. It doesn't make you weak or a bad mother. It makes you a good mother to recognize when things are a bit much. Maybe you can transition to formula so that he feds less and sleeps longer. Also, set a sleep schedule. Put him down at the same time everyday so that he gets used to it. Good luck.

Kate - posted on 05/12/2010

You are doing a fantastic job, and you are a good mother, that is the most important thing for you to remember. Have you taken him to the doctor just to double check he doesn't have colic or something like that that might be making him uncomfortable? Breastfed babies often wake to feed more often as breastmilk is processed really quickly through their bodies, my daughter used to do the same thing. She also used to wake up at 3am (after being awake half the night) and scream for up to 4 or 5 hours for no apparent reason, I used to have to walk around with her over my arm, it was exhausting and I often felt like I couldn't possibly do it any longer. I don't know how old your son is but my suggestions would be forget the housework for a while, your sanity and health are more important. Also I found once my little girl was a bit older I used routines and language cues so she knew what was happening all the time which helped her feel safe and made her a lot more independent without having to leave her in a distressed state too often (now she doesn't seem to care if I'm around or not!). I got heaps of good tips from a book by Sheyne Rowley called Dream Baby Guide, it may or may not suit the way you view parenting but I found it really helpful. As for the male thing, that's pretty normal and will pass once you get some more sleep and start to feel normal again. If you do have a relative you feel comfortable with I would also suggest leaving your son in their care occassionally, even if it is only half and hour and leaving the house, even to walk up the street, it helped me to feel a bit more sane. Also if you are feeling really down make sure you talk to someone you trust, being a parent is the most rewarding but the hardest job in the world, especially in the early days and I admire you for doing it on your own,hang in there, things will improve : )

Christian - posted on 05/12/2010

I was raised that a child should fear your voice when it is raised in anger. That if you don't put that fear in them, then they will walk all over you. My dad put the fear of God into me. We started talking to our daughter, telling her to stop crying over and over again. We took whatever toy she was holding out of her hand, and taught her to stop crying, that when she did, we gave her toy back. She eventually got the concept. Patience is a virtue, all children have to learn one way or another that you are the authority in the house, that you buy them the toys, and you can easily take them away. Sure they may cry, but that's just part of the learning process for them.

Rebecca - posted on 05/11/2010

my little man can be difficult some days to. im not sure how old or big your son is, but when my bub wont let me put him down so i can do housework etc i put him in his sling so my hands are still free to do what i need to. hope you find something that works for you!