help

Sarah - posted on 03/14/2012

I have to agree with Katherine Collins post. You have to be right on top of them until the problem is solved... Very consistent about punishments and every single time the child is violent towards the other the same punishment should always take place. Consistency is everything. I feel all children need schedules and rules. I found the corner worked the best for my children. I would place a sticker on the wall and tell them to put their nose on the sticker so they aren't looking all around while they are in the corner. I even had to place them in time out in a restaurant but now they respect that I mean what I say. If you say they will be punished you must do it. No false threats and it works wonders! And after the child hurts they other I would always make them say sorry and for what they are sorry for and hug one another... Explain they are family and should love one another not hurt them after the punishment has taken place. Hope you can get to the bottom of your troubles!

Katherine - posted on 03/13/2012

Your children don’t have to “like” each other. Most siblings don’t. But they do have to respect each other. Set that expectation with them. Have a family meeting so that no one feels singled out. During this meeting, set expectations on how everyone should treat each other. Give them examples of negative behaviors (name-calling, hitting, taking toys, etc.), and then have them think of positive behaviors that would be appropriate substitutes. Write these down, and post the list where everyone can see it as a reminder.



Then have your children role-play scenarios with each other to make the learning experience fun. Reinforce good behaviors with positive outcomes and poor behaviors with negative consequences.



For example, maybe they get one-on-one time with Mom or get to pick the dinner menu one night for exhibiting appropriate behaviors. If they choose negative behaviors, perhaps they do a chore for the sibling whom they have hurt.



Remember that the focus is not directed just at your son, but includes the entire family. If he sees everyone participating in the new house rules, he will be more inclined to do so as well.

It sounds like his anger is a big problem for him. You always want to make sure that you and your family are safe from any type of harm. The choking behavior is concerning, so we suggest taking him to a child psychologist or a pediatrician. These individuals can help you determine the reasons for this behavior. Trying to get to the problem now while he is young will help ensure that he and others are safe in the long run.



Whenever he does choke or act out in your home, remove him from the situation. Sitting him in time-out until he calms down is a good option. Send him to a designated area away from toys and entertainment. The general rule of thumb is that a child should be in time-out one minute for each year of his life. So your son should be in time-out for seven minutes. The time-out should not start until he is calm.



Remember that giving your son a negative consequence is not only done to punish his behavior, but to teach him the appropriate behaviors as well. After he is finished with the time-out, tell him exactly why he was put there and what he should have done differently. Be as specific as possible to eliminate any confusion.



Since self-control is a struggle for him, practice this with him: Find alternative ways for him to calm down and cope when he starts to feel aggravated. He can go outside and sit down, squeeze a washcloth or stress ball or do jumping jacks to release energy. You know him best. Try to think of some things that will calm him down safely and effectively without harming him or others.

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Amy - posted on 03/13/2012

she might be jealous, try sitting down with her and ask her why she does it, if you can get her to express her feeling about her sister and open up to you that might help. It may also help to talk about the new baby coming as well and see what her feelings are about that, you might be surprised. It might be a behavior issues as well, you might want to ask your Doc to suggest some tactics.