HELP! my husband is actually going against EVERYTHING i say

Sarah - posted on 01/12/2011

Maybe your husband feels left out or is trying to make up for lost time. Talk to him. I know guys don't like talking about their feeling but Just tell him how you feel about the situation and ask him what he thinks. Make him get involved. If he won't talk to you maybe give him some literature to read on the subject. Or have him go with you to the next check up for your baby and ask questions that you want him to hear the answers to so maybe hearing it from someone else he is more likely to do what you have worked so hard for.

Ashley - posted on 01/12/2011

Thanks guys he's not really the sit down and talk type but I pestered him enough that now he let's me do the things I need to do with baby. He watches me more and tries to do what I do lol. It also helps that he is getting a lot more hours in town and gets home just in time to tell baby good night lol! And on the weekends I let him play and nap with baby whenever he wants.

Aimee - posted on 01/08/2011

my partner did the same i had to tell him in the end i said when u was away i got them into a routine and know u have messed it up please leave it to me and after i told him a few times he listened and he leaves it to me know and all my kids are i bed for 7 till 7 im mornin thats mine and his time know he thinks my way hope this helps good luck

Monica - posted on 01/08/2011

Schedule??? lol I tried I really did a schedule didn't work for me, my children slept when tired ate when hungry and played with daddy when ever he wanted to play. They are now 7 and 4 and they go to bed between 7 and 8 get up at 7 for school and kindy or sleep till they wake up they do chores every day, (cleaning their room straightening their beds( as best they can lol)) attack dad into a play fight or tickle war whenever possible have dinner whenever I make it bathe after dinner brush their teeth twice a day.and go to bed lol and yes daddy still sometimes stirs them up before bed lol and it makes me smile to see them finding joy in each other. And I think sometimes that is really all the dad's know how to do automatically they have to learn the rest(not true in all cases some dads are very paternal intuitively). If their child cries or gets upset they automatically want it to stop and a lot of them do that by playing or being silly it's what they know.
I can honestly say congrats to all of you for managing to stick to a schedule my life may have been a lot less hectic with one... if only... I agree if you are frustrated talk about it my man and I talk about everything partners always step on each others toes it is just important to talk about it and come to a compromise.

Robyn - posted on 01/07/2011

Yes, men are definitely different kind of creatures! lol My husband and I agree about everything so far. I think we communicate well. However, at the very beginning I had to work a little reverse-psychology and let him believe that what he was doing was very helpful, but then in the areas where (he really wasn't helping matters) I would redirect him to a different task with baby that made him feel very useful as her Daddy and also was something that couldn't be done wrong, or what she wasn't used to (ie. bathtime, reading to her before bed, etc) that way I would be like no no hunny I will lay her down for naps etc... just like baby and I have come to be great with. Its all in the way you talk to them, and sitting down and discussing it is also very effective... but remember its aaalllll in the way you talk to them! hehe :)

Ashley - posted on 01/07/2011

I told him that I don't really know what he does at work all day, nor do I want to know lol, so don't pretend to know what I do all day. He's been backing off a little mostly to make me shut up I think, but baby and I are getting back to our routine :) and kerrie you are not alone, my theory is after the first month they stop listening to you about the baby all my friends are in the same boat, men are just...men :)

Christy - posted on 01/07/2011

I tell my husband that if he wants to go against what i say or do with the routine then he can stay home and dill with him while i go somewhere and have me time

Kerrie - posted on 01/07/2011

i thought i was alone.....
my partner is just the same as yours
up until she was 6 months old he didnt do anything with her at all so i had got us in quite a good happy routine. now he disrupts everything... he will cuddle her to sleep when she is used to falling asleep on her own in her cot. she messes around with food for him too. the other day she bit me and as i told her no he laughed. he is the same with his sons who i have bought up as my own for the last 3 years he undermines me on everything i say or ask them to do.
i too have tried to explain to him why i have a problem not to mention the fact that he is unsettling our daughter. it doesnt register he doesnt get why there is a problem
its turning into a total night mare

Kelly - posted on 01/06/2011

tell him that he is not helping you. explain to him that you had a schedual that worke d for you both and that he is dirupting it and stressing you out. my husband does the same thing when he is gone my house is claen the kids are on a good schedual and they go to sleep at a reasonable time, when he is home my house is a mess and the kids are up till all hours of the night. i would say just let him know. i told my husband and he is trying to make an effort to help me.

Amanda - posted on 01/05/2011

I would tell daddy that if he wants to get baby up to play that he can get him back to sleep lol...i know how hard it is to get baby to sleep and once you finally get them on a schedule you kind of know when you, mommy, can actually rest a while yourself...i hope it works out for ya. :-)

Elizabeth - posted on 01/04/2011

I do not have this problem, my husband does not really handle nap time and such things. I think that you should sit your husband down and explain to him that he is disrupting the schedule you worked hard to make. If he still does not get it, make him deal with nap times and bed time, while you do your own thing.

Jessica Raven - posted on 01/04/2011

Mine does the same thing.. Its very cute, but frustrating.. I tell him, he has his job and I have mine. Lol There's always plenty of time to play when he's awake. Haha :) Hope all goes well for you!!

Tabby - posted on 01/04/2011

My husband got back from deployment when our daughter was 6 months old. He did everything the opposite of how I did them and it drove me nuts! Finally I realized I had to explain to him WHY I did things how I did since he missed the whole stage of getting to know her signals. She's now 1 year and he will ask me before he does something just to make sure he won't disrupt her routines (he works Monday-Friday 5 am to 6 pm so he's not as familiar with what I do during the day with Madison).

Ashley - posted on 01/04/2011

Thanks guys sometimes he is just so frustrating lol! He finally told me today that he thinks playinng with him will just make him more tired and make him sleep longer and after the lo's wopping 20min nap he agreed to play it my way! Fingers crossed!

Candace - posted on 01/04/2011

I agree you need to sit him down and tell him that it was hard to get the baby on that schedule and that he's throwing him off and if or when he has to work out of town again it will be really hard for you to get baby down when it's time for a nap or bed. Ask him to play with baby before or after he's had his nap and before bed not during

Tiffany - posted on 01/04/2011

Open communication. Sit down with him and let him know how important schedules are to children! Let him know that while he was gone you were able to get your son on a schedule that you were both happy with and that he really needs to help out by you two working together on this, not going against what's working. Good luck!

Julianne - posted on 01/04/2011

tell him that babies need their sleep for a reason, work their schedules together, so when either one has free time, they can play together. At least daddy wants to play with the baby, your lucky in that sense.