Hi, my name is Janna & my 13 month (almost 14 months) old daughter won't ever leave my side.

Janna - posted on 04/24/2009 ( 5 moms have responded )

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So my husband and I work different shifts so we can both be there for our daughter deedee and won't have to rely on daycare to take care of her and raise her. With that being said, as of lately my job has slowed down a bit, offering two vacation days a week as a cut back (they pay you 80% of your pay) so I've been home ALOT more than normal.



Ever since I started the days off my daughter will not leave my sight, when I walk into the bathroom she cries, when I don't pick her up quick enough she cries, when I do go to work my husband has to put cartoons on to distract her while I leave or she cries for like an hour. When we are in public all she wants is to be with me, and if she is near me she is content, like right now she is playing next to me with her color book.



The doctor told me it is seperation anxiety and that it will go away in about a month or so, but it's been about a month or so and so now I'm a little worried. Has anyone gone through this? Can someone tell me what I should do? My husband wants me to ignore her when she cries like that but I don't think that is the answer.



thanks

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Jenifer - posted on 04/25/2009

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My 6 year old does the same thing!!! I think it's a girl thing to be honest. I have never left my daughter anywhere but she still acts like I am going to leave her or something. They are just nosy. I want to say they will grow out of it but I think were in for the long haul sister! I'm sure the crying will stop if you maybe try to give her some "special" blanket or something and tell her when you aren't there she can snug that and it will make her safe and feel better. I have tried many of these tactics and they seem to work on one level or another. A "feel better" braclet is fun too! We like to play with the fun beads and make little bracelets/necklaces of our own to keep with us and help us "feel better". If you try it, I hope it works for you! Good Luck!

Sarah - posted on 04/25/2009

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We are in the same boat as you. My husband and I work at the same place so we work opposite so no daycare as well. I only work part-time and lately my son who is 12 months has been attached to me too the last couple months. I have read that babies like parents need time alone too. We have a playroom that we put him in for a little bit and he just plays, watches tv or looks at his books. We go to story time at the library so he can get some interaction with other children. Also going to look into other play groups. I love spending time and playing with my baby but everybody needs some time just to relax even if its just a few minutes. And if he throws a tantrum we do try to ignore it and get him interested in something else. Seems to be working. Hope this helps.

Janna - posted on 04/24/2009

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I understand your points and I agree, some of the time the distractions work, we have set up a play area for her with all her toys that's in view of all the rooms around her (it's an open floor plan) so she can see where we go and see us comming back and that seems to be ok. But I spend a lot of time with her, no matter if I work or not we go to the park every day or at least a walk around the naeighborhood, we play mega blocks together and I let her play with pots and pans when I cook dinner, I sit down to dinner with her everynight and talk to her, I read her a story every night before bed. I take her shopping with me and we go to the zoo's and aquariums and to the orchards to pick fruit and buy bakery stuff. I spend all my free time with her because when I get home from work my husband goes to bed and when she goes to bed is when I do all my cleaning and laundry, ect. So I know it can't be that I don't spend enough time with her, do you think I could be spending to much time with her?

Alyssa - posted on 04/24/2009

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I have an almost 14 month old girl, and she has been going through the same thing. What I have learned is that distraction is your best bet. If you can distract your child long enough with something to entertain them with like coloring it can help you have some time to yourself to get things done. As for the crying when they want you to hold them. Talk to them in a sweet voice tell them, "Hey! Lets go play with this toy, or Look at what is over here." To redirect their attention to something else. I started laying her on the floor before her nap in the living room and letting her watch me leave so I could run get something out of the other room. This is practice because she is too tired to get up and chase after me, she eventually has learned that I am coming back. So far My daughter Lily has been letting me leave the room for several minutes. Knowing that I am coming back, she doesn't crave that constant attention. A book I was reading stated that when you have time, spend time. When you spend enough time with them and do some lap sitting, book reading, movie watching ect together, they will feel that need for constant attention to be less and less.

Katrina - posted on 04/24/2009

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I am interested to hear some responses. My husband works so I am home with my now 11 month old son. He seems to be getting worse with the separation anxiety as the last couple months have gone by. I just have to turn my back and he gets upset!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I know this is just a phase but I am thinking about returning to work for one shift a week in a few weeks and I am scared of the way he will be with the babysitter. Will he cry all day when I am gone??? I have heard that this phase normally lasts for a couple months because they learn object permanence but at this age are still not aware about the "time" thing so he knows I still exist when I am gone, but he doesn't understand that I will be back very soon! Sometimes even at home all he wants is "mama" even when his dad is right there!!!

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